*** This is a fictional story of a scenario that I think is all too real for most gay and bisexual men, even in this day and age. Too often, I think we forget that we’re all just confused, lost people bumping into one another in life, and that doing so often has a long lasting effect on each other. I didn’t want to spend too much time here going over relationship dynamics, just the lingering beauty in a moment, even if casts doubt and question in our hearts. Hope you enjoy it ****
I wake up snuggled into Michael’s hairy chest. We’re “sometimes lovers”, as we call it. He has a girlfriend who doesn’t come up in conversation. Its the mornings I wake up before him that I find the most awkward, because as I lay there in our sweaty, musky smelling pile, I start to doubt myself, and wonder why he’s still there with me. A guy no less.
When we get together, its all too easy. We greet each other with a big warm hug, and a lingering kiss before flopping down somewhere and shooting the shit, never really breaking contact. Our talks are long, sometimes fun, other times deep. We share ideas and thoughts and more than a few frustrations. Eventually, the space between us shrinks, the words get shorter, and our sighs longer. Being with him right there, its like a relief.
At some point, we’ll amble on into bed – he only likes doing it in bed, weirdly enough- and start slowly taking off each others clothes. We’re both embarrassingly hard at this point, and by the time we’re naked, the pace picks up, becoming deliberate and animalistic. When he climbs on top of me, pinning me beneath his stocky frame, and tears the condom wrapper open with his teeth, I’ve completely surrendered to him.
Moving to the foot of the bed, he draws me closer by the legs, resting them on his chest and shoulders as he prepares to enter me. Ass tilted slightly, he drips the lube onto my taint, teasing it into my hole with the tip of his cock. I bite my lip and whimper as I anticipate the pleasure and the pain about to come. He places the lube on the bedside table and looks at me with a blank, safe face almost asking for permission. My glassy eyed desire offers no protest, so he grabs my legs in his arms, and pulls me towards him as he thrusts into my ass.
I groan loudly from a guttural place as I feel his cock penetrate, widening and filling me, my legs tingle as he holds himself still, reading me for discomfort. Gently, he pulls out, and back in, measuring our mutual pleasure. I relax and loosen, allowing him over time to build up his speed. My hand flies to my cock as he mashes the spongy head of his penis against my prostate. I make an embarrassing amount of noise.
Looking up at him fucking me, I see a man.
I see a built, hairy chested man who loves to fuck, hell, NEEDS to fuck. I see a man lost in his work, experiencing great pleasure but also trying to remain studious in what he’s doing. The concentration on his face is all of my joy, because he’s lost in the moment, and very, very real. Its the honesty of his face, trying hard to please that makes me love him. Fuck. I love him. I love him fucking me. But I really do… just… love… him.
He asks me if I’m ready to cum, and I mutter out a yes. We both speed up, racing to the finish line together, and as my cum flies through the air, I can feel the warmth spreading in my ass. Our movements slow, he pulls out and throws the loaded rubber into the trash, retreating to the bathroom to rinse off and to get me a warm cloth.
He’s a bit sheepish for a minute or two, a tad aloof, before he crawls back into bed, and kisses me once again. We have idle chit chat as we drift off, comfortably back into our groove.
Waking up together is the best thing in the world, but also the one that makes me most doubtful. I love him, right? Does he, love me?
Its too hard to say where we fit into each others lives, but I know that for every morning I wake up with my head buried in his chest, we went to bed the night before, with his head buried in mine.
**** Thanks again for reading, if you enjoyed it, please do leave a comment. I’m hoping to write more, and love to share with folks ****