"You're kidding? Right?" my ex-husband Alan asked incredulously.
"Now, why would I kid about that?" I returned the question with annoyance.
Alan was temporarily speechless and I could hear him fumbling for the right words.
"I'm telling you because when you pick up Alana, Valerie might be there and I want you to be cordial," I stated firmly.
In sex education we were told about average sizes for a man's penis. It was pointed out that average means just that, average. They can be bigger and they can be smaller.
It's not the size that matters we were assured. It's how the man uses it.
Lying bastards. Size does matter, and I damn well know. Hells bells, take a moment to do some basic arithmetic. I'll do some for you.
Mr.A has a penis one and a half inches thick and six inches long. We'll call that about average.
Picture me if you can, wearing nothing but a vest and boxers, handcuffed by my wrists and ankles to all four corners of Salima's luxurious 5 star hotel room bed, and blindfolded with precisely 3 pairs of her unwashed stockings. Needless to say, I've certainly looked better. At this point, I was starting to have real reservations about the woman's sanity because just who brings 2 pairs of handcuffs along with them on a business trip?
My wife was preparing her lunch for work as I finished my morning coffee. I was home for a few days after another long stretch away at work. I had arrived late the previous evening after she was asleep and tried my best not to disturb her as she had a full work day ahead of her. We hadn't been able to spend much time together lately and we both needed some time to reconnect.
"Any plans for today?" she inquired.
"Just catching up on what I've missed over the past few days."
Trembling with excitement, he fumbled with the stranger's zipper. He had waited so long for this, and he could barely contain his lust. The stranger had already stripped off his shirt, revealing a tanned and sculpted body rippling with powerful muscle. He felt his lust flare even more. The stranger's handsome face broke into a wicked grin. "See how bad you want my cock," he jeered. "Man, you're one hungry faggot..." he chuckled.
Work had been a beast this week. Normally Bailey loved her job, but this week, she was ready to throw both her computer AND her cell phone out the window. As the Office Manager for a small construction company, it was her job to make sure all the employees in the office did their job correctly and everything ran smoothly. Most importantly because she was the only employee in the office. And her boss was a stickler for perfection.
I recently traveled to London for a conference. Rather than paying the normal ridiculous prices charged for hotels in London I made contact with some old school friends and asked if I could stay with them. They readily agreed; always keen to meet up with friends from “home”.
Geoff and Linda were the ideal couple; they had been going out since early in High School. They were both very good at every sport they tried, both very good academically and both very good looking.
Abbey was on her way to the job of her dreams.
Growing up, she had always wanted to work at an investment firm like her father, who was very successful at what he did. She worked hard all of her life, determined to make it on her own. She went to the best schools and did all the right things. After a few notable internships, she was finally able to land an entry level position at a major investment firm in the big city.
The form letter flatly stated that my grade point average had fallen below the University's prerequisite for living on campus, so it was either apply for special dispensation, or find an apartment. I decided that four years in residence was more than enough for this girl, and hit the want ads that very afternoon.
"Are you kidding me! Look George this remodel is already three weeks behind schedule...I don't care, I'm not going to wait another month to have the counters done. Find some new guys... more expensive? I knew that was coming. Alright, ...tomorrow then, bye."