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Lynn’s Problem

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Let me tell you, Jack, I had one hell of a shitty day today, although it really started some time ago. I could tell there was something wrong. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was something amiss. For the last several months my wife, Lynn, seemed to be growing more distant toward me. Sex with her was almost to the point of nonexistent. In those rare times we did have sex, it was as though she couldn’t wait ’till it was over. It was to the point that sex became unpleasant, damn near work.

Instead of calling out my name during sex, now she just tells me to move my head, so she could see the TV. She did her part and that was all. “Get on to get off” was her motto.

Hell I remember how I would pick her up after work, head out for a quick bite to eat and then we would go to one of the last drive-ins around. Christ, we would steam up the windows of that old Karmen Gia of mine with our love-making. Her skirt would be on the back seat, her bra on the floor. I would have my fingers up her pussy and the whole damn car would smell of sex and cum. Christ, I can still recall seeing her tits all swollen and hard, glistening from the flicking light of the movie screen.

But, it was the little things that really begun to bug me. I would call out, “I love you,” on the way out the door in the morning and she would return with, “I like you too.” The fiery kisses she used to give me were gone.

Then she started changing the way she dressed for work. The company she worked for had a rather old-fashioned dress code requiring suits and ties for men and dresses or skirts with nylons for women. She seemed to be pushing even their dress code by wearing skirts that were shorter and heels that were higher than she normally wore. Even in my book, her skirts were way too short for a woman in her late thirties.

Then there were the phone calls with no one on the other end. The extra overtime she always seemed to be working. All these things and more piqued my interest to the point that I reworked my schedule and took today off work.

I headed out to meet her where she was working; you know, maybe grab something for lunch at a nice place, perhaps just for some coffee and conversation. I told the receptionist that I would like to talk to Lynn Furby. “I’m sorry, sir, Lynn called in sick today. May I take a message for you?” she said without looking up.

“No, that’s fine. I’ll come back later.”

As I walked out of the building my heart dropped to my knees. I guess I shouldn’t been surprised; I knew there was something up, but what could it be? Maybe she had a doctor’s appointment and didn’t want to worry me? I ran various scenarios through my brain trying to come up with a logical reason why she took off work. I headed back toward town and just as I drove by my buddy’s apartment, I could swear I saw Lynn’s truck parked behind a large tree in the corner lot. I turned my car around at the next street and headed back to his apartment. I parked next to a red Ford Ranger that looked very close to the one Lynn drives.

“Damn, sure looks like her truck,” I said to myself as I walked around to the passenger side. Sure enough, there was that hamburger-bun-sized ding in the front fender. I walked back over to the driver’s-side door. I inserted my key into the lock and gave it a turn. The key moved, and the door popped open. My heart sank lower than whale shit.

“No, this can’t be happening!”

I pounded my fist against the door. She’s upstairs with my buddy. My mind raced again trying to generate any logical reason why she would be here after calling off sick from work. Try as I may, I come to only one conclusion. She’s up there having sex with my soon-to-be-ex-friend Paul.

Paul’s apartment is on the second floor, so I made my way up the stairs as quietly as possible and stood in front of his door. I put my ear down onto the door in a vain attempt to hear what was going on inside. The thick door only revealed muffled sounds coming from within the room.

I did not know whether I should pound on the door, ring the buzzer, or try to break in. I with a softer choice: I reached down and quietly tried the doorknob. Goddamn! The knob turned in my grip. I cracked opened the door ever so slightly, the room was dark as the blinds were pulled down. Apparently, some one in their haste must have forgotten to lock the door behind them.

So there I was, standing at the precipice, looking down into a deep abyss of the unknown. Should I continue to push the door open wide and throw away fourteen years of marriage? Should I turn around and leave, allowing them to do whatever they were up to? I gave the knob another twist, and I pushed the door open oh-so-quietly. A radio playing in the living room masked my entrance into my friend’s living room.

I heard Lynn giggling in the background as I moved toward the sounds emitting from the bedroom. I poked my head around the door jam and I saw Lynn sitting on the bed, her blouse lay on the floor, her skirt on the dresser. She was wearing only her pantyhose, heels and a bra. Paul was standing in front of her, completely butt-naked with one of the biggest cocks I’ve ever laid eyes on. Huge bulging veins ran up to the head that was so swollen with blood, the top had a purple-pinkish glow. I swear that thing looked so hard you could have pounded nails into a two-by-four with it.

Paul, who stood in front of my wife, was turned so he could not see the doorway or me standing beside it. He clearly enjoyed what was happening.

As neither of them was aware of me, I watched her pull and stroke his cock with all the expertise of an expensive Vegas hooker. She put it in her mouth then pulled it back out as though she was playing with a sucker on a stick. Occasionally, she would kiss his shaft up and down then roll her tongue over the tip of his cock’s head. She was so mesmerized with her toy she had in her hand, she never noticed me as I watched the show unfold.

Paul reached toward her and pulled at the top of her lacy red bra. He tugged at her nipples, pinching and twisting them with his fingers. I could see them harden up and they begun pushing against the thin lacy red material. The bra seemed to be strained to the point it would snap in two.

“Would you like me to cum all over your tits today?” he asked as he pushed his manhood toward my soon-to-be-ex-wife.

She giggled some more and said, “I don’t know. I was thinking of putting his bad boy up my pussy!” Then, she looked up, and saw me standing by the doorway.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ!”

She dropped his cock, jumped up, and tried to hide herself from my view by placing her hands in front of her pussy. Paul damn-near fell over when she let go of her grip on his cock. He grabbed his shorts and tried putting them back on as he hopped from foot-to-foot trying to get his cock back into his underwear.

“Honey, I can explain. We were, well, ah; you know.” Lynn started to say as she tried in vain to come up with a believable story.

“Get your clothes and put them back on. Let’s get out of here!” I said as I could feel my blood pressure rise. I walked toward the front door of his apartment.

She quickly stepped into her skirt as she grabbed her blouse and wrapped it over her shoulders, fastening only a few buttons together. All three of us head toward the door, and then I stopped and looked around. This was the end of my marriage. It was over, done with, kaput, period, end of story.

Even with the knowledge that my marriage was over, I somehow started to smile as I walked to the door. With every step, my smile grew and before I knew it, I actually started to laugh a bit. Neither one said as word, but no longer able to contain myself I said, “Caught you both. Caught both of your cheating asses didn’t I?” Some how, that made things feel better.

By now I was almost to the front door. I stopped. “No…you came up here to get laid, so by God you’re going to get laid!”

“What are you talking about?” Lynn asked as she looked over to Paul.

“No way! That’s not going to happen.”

“I agree. You get out of my apartment, or I’ll call the police.” Paul said as he puffed out his chest, trying to scare me into leaving his apartment.

Paul had worked construction all his life, so he was an immense man. He had hands that could have easily twisted my head off had he wanted to. He was buff with a nice tan that accented his long, wavy hair, I could see why my wife was drawn toward him. I decided to call him out.

“Fine. Call the police. They’ll be happy to make out a report. Let’s see, Lynn, how are you going to cover for yourself at work when you called off sick? While we’re at it Lynn, let us call your father up, too. I sure he would like to hear from you why you had Paul’s stiff cock in your hands while you were sitting damn near naked on his bed.”

“Your word against ours!” she snapped back with a big shit-eating smile on her face.

Paul chirped in, “Yeah, your word against ours. What the fuck you going to do about that, asshole?”

The veins in his forehead bulged out. He was pissed, and he reached around and placed his arm around Lynn in a defiant gesture.

“Aha. Yes, your word against mine. Well, you remember that old saying about a picture being worth a thousand words? Well then, a video is worth a thousand pictures,” as I held up my cell phone. “Still want to call daddy now?”

They both turned to each other, the dominance and confidence they had drained from their faces The both look like they could had easily puked right there. Clearly, I had caught them in the act and had a video record of it.

“Both of you, sit down!”

I thought for a moment, playing out various scenarios of things I could have them do to each other. Then it dawned on me. How simple!

“Okay, you two were starting to get it on when I popped in, so you may as well continue, but from the top. I am going to sit here and watch my slut bitch wife get fucked by you, Paul.”

She screamed back, “You son-of-a-bitch! I hate you! I hate you!”

I shot back to her, “You can hate me all you like. The bottom line? You are still going to get fucked and I am going to watch. So go into the bathroom, fix your hair, and put your clothes back on correctly. You don’t need to look like a slut, although as far as I am concerned right now, you are one.”

Lynn blew out a loud huff from her flared nostrils and stormed toward the bathroom, slamming the door behind. Boy, was she pissed off! Paul said nothing and just looked down at the floor. Several minutes clicked by before Lynn finally emerged from the bathroom, hair in place, with fresh makeup reapplied to her face. Her blouse was stuffed back into her skirt and her hose was tight against her legs.

Now, let me tell you. My wife was quite a looker though she is knocking on the door of forty years old. She wore a cream-colored skirt that was several inches above her knees. She had a nice little ass that the skirt could barely contain. A matching nylon blouse, with a rather plunging neckline, exposed some of the lacy bra that was concealed just underneath. Her strawberry-blond hair fell down about her shoulders. Her suntan pantyhose she wore glistened as beams of the early afternoon sunshine broke through the cracks of the blinds, illuminating her flawless legs. I ran my eyes up and down her as she stood there. Paul was also giving her the once over as well, I mean after all he was ready to shot a load of cum down her throat before I barged in on them and then had to stop.

“Let’s head toward the bedroom,” I said as I pointed the way.

They both entered the room first and stood beside the end of the bed.

“Well, Paul, I guess this is your move. I’ve always enjoyed looking at her legs, so let’s get things moving. Take her skirt off first.”

Now, Paul was quite eager, and he fumbled with the zipper on her skirt. The room was dead silent, and I could hear the zipper being pulled down. As he continued pulling the zipper down further, her skirt became loose around her waist. She grabbed at the waistband trying to prevent the article of clothing from falling.

I called out, “Let if fall. We both want to see you skirt less!”

She let the material go and it slid down her legs, piling up around her tan-colored high heels.

“Go ahead, Paul, remove her skirt and put it here on the dresser.”

Paul continued removing her skirt and has he did, we both took in the sight that was now before us. Lynn worked out and you could see her legs were muscular and toned. The high heels she had on caused the calves of her legs to bulge out ever so slightly, enticing us both with her figure as she stood before us.

“Okay, may as well loose the pantyhose and her high heels too, Paul.”

He looked down and grabbed the waistband of her hose, and gave it a slight tug. Then he stopped and looked back over to me.

“Would you mind if I left her hose and heels on?”

Well, I have to admit I’ve always liked seeing her like this so I really did not have any problem with it.

“All right. Leave them on for now.”

Lynn stood at the end of the bed in her hose and heels. I looked over and on top of one of his dressers I saw a pair of scissors. I grabbed the scissors and as I approached her, she leaned away from me to the point Paul had to catch her before she fell over.

“Stand still! I’m not going to hurt you!” I yelled out.

She stopped in her tracks and steadied herself. I went over and pulled the waistband of her pantyhose back ever so slightly to reveal the top of her panties. With a couple of snips of the scissors, I cut her panties at the waistband, then I grabbed the front of her panties and pulled the flimsy article of clothing from her from the front. I made sure the material rubbed up and along her pussy as I pulled them up and off. As her bikini panties were being pulled out, Paul and I were treated to a trim bush that suddenly appeared, yet it was still hidden behind her pantyhose. I snapped her hose back up and gave it a stout tug, tightening the material against her ass.

“Paul, take her blouse off!”

Paul reached up and began to unbutton her blouse from the top down. As the last button gave way, he pulled the garment back from her shoulders and it fell onto the bed. Lynn now stood before the two of us in her nylons and high heels. I could see Paul was enjoying the sight before us as he was stroking that massive cock still hiding under his boxers.

She may-well have hated me, but you could clearly see the effect all of this was having on her. Paul and I looked down at her and we could see a wet spot growing on the front of her pantyhose. Her nipples were hard and pressed against her bra. Her eyes were closed, and she swayed back and forth in her high heels. She knew what was going to happen.

“Ok, Paul, your turn. Loose the clothes!”

Before the sound of my voice bounced around the room, Paul had all his clothes on the floor and that giant cock of his was already at full attention.

“Now where were you two when I came in? Oh, I remember: Paul was asking whether you wanted him to cum on her tits? And you Lynn, you were asking whether you wanted him in your pussy. Wasn’t that right Lynn?”

“Your call, Paul!” As I turned to Paul, he had a slight smile on his face.

With that, Paul placed his fingertips around the waistband of her pantyhose and gently pulled the thin material down to expose her trim brownish-blond bush. He then pushed her back down on the bed and reached over for the scissors I had left on the floor. With the skill and precision of a neurosurgeon, he cut the cotton gusset of her pantyhose with a few quick snips. I thought to myself, “That explained the scissors in the bedroom. Paul had done this more than just a few times.”

Paul pulled her hose back up and then leaned Lynn back onto the bed. He took one of her high heels and pushed it down into the mattress, locking her foot in place. He does this with her other heel as well. She fully exposed with her legs spread apart and her knees up, giving Paul a perfect shot at her pussy. From my vantage point, I could see more juices had begun to flow from my wife’s pussy and down her ass cheeks toward the bed sheets.

As I witnessed all of this, it started to piss me off. I mean, I was about to watch my best friend fuck my wife, her pussy dripping so much that she should have worn a baby’s bib. Yet with me, the only way I could get her wet between her legs would have been to throw her in a bathtub full of water.

Paul reached down and grabbed a finger full of pussy juice and smeared it along his cock. As he applied more and more of her juice, his cock seemed to grow even larger than what it first appeared when I walked into the room. Christ, he should have been in the porn industry! If there was a market for cum, Paul could have made car payments!

Now all shiny and hard, he pushed her legs apart a bit more and with one stroke, jammed that monster into her! She let out a loud moan while her back arched up under the onslaught of Paul’s cock.

Another lunge and she begun to twist and buck all the while being constrained by her heels stuck into the bedding. She had a fist full of bed sheet in both hands and twisted it into a ball as he continued hammering away at her pussy.

“Yes! Yes! Paul! Fuck me! Fuck me! Make me cum baby!”

She managed to raise herself up on her elbows and was watching Paul push that monster cock in and out of her. The bed started to rock in harmony with Paul’s thrusts. Lynn’s hair was flying back and forth in rhythm with the rocking bed. I saw beads of sweat roll down her chest that formed small rivers of the salty material and flowed down to her belly button.

She cried out, “Oh Christ, I’m cumming Paul! Oh! Saint Mother of Mary I am cumming!”

She stopped rocking and grabbed her thighs while throwing her head back. Her hair fell over her shoulders and down toward the bed. Her body was beet red and covered in sweat. Then all at once she just lay motionless, and then she fell back down on the bed. She started shaking and moaning, all the while rubbing her tits back and forth across her bra. She had a smile on her face while she let out a soft sigh.

Paul slowed his thrusts as Lynn had her orgasm, then he stopped thrusting altogether and pulled his cock out of her pussy. Small drops of cum and pussy juice dripped from its head. Quickly, he pulled down the front of her pantyhose and placed his cock on her trimmed bush. He arched back and within seconds he shot a load onto her bush, sending cum into her pubic hair. In a lighting-fast move, he straddled over her and with one hand pulled the top of her bra down, exposing her tits. A second shot from his cock hit her left nipple and then a third hit her right nipple. He pulled her bra back up, covering the sticky mess.

Lynn had released her death grip on the bed sheets and had begun rubbing the thin nylon bra with her fingertips. The material instantly turned transparent, as Paul’s cum started to seep through. She rubbed her nipples through the cum soaked material with her fingers and licked them clean with her tongue.

Paul was proud of himself and announced, “How’s that! Got your pussy and both your tits!”

Now, I am like any other red-blooded American male. After being a witness to all this fucking, the next thing I knew my clothes were on the floor and I was standing over the two of them with a hard cock. Lynn looked up and saw me and she let out a loud breath of air.

“What the fuck are you going to do?”

“What do you think?”

“Well, fuck you!” was her reply.

“That’s exactly what’s going to happen to you, my dear!” was all I could muster as my reply.

Knowing I couldn’t outdo Super Cock, I decided I may as well go for broke and try something she never would let me do: fuck her in the ass.

“Paul, roll her over!”

Lynn shot back, “Paul, don’t! He’s up to something!”

Paul seemed as eager as I and quickly pulled her heels out of the mattress and turned her over so her pantyhose ass was staring me in the face. I pushed her knees up toward the headboard to raise her ass and she placed her hands out in front of her. She was on all fours, and her ass was just even with the edge of the bed with me standing on the floor. She quickly realized what was about to happen.

“Paul, he’s going to try to fuck me in my ass!” she screamed to him.

He just stood there and watched as I pulled her hose down to reveal a perfectly tight virgin ass. I reached down to her pussy and caught whatever was still seeping out of her pussy and rubbed in up and down my cock.

She continued to plead with Paul to intervene and stop what I was gearing up to do. I looked over to Paul to be sure a fist was not coming my way, but instead I saw his cock was again rock hard and was in fact, jaunting straight out. Knowing that Paul was getting into this as much as I was made me feel a bit more at ease.

“Jesus Christ, Paul, doesn’t that thing of yours ever wear down?

I placed the head of my cock on her backside, then moved it down to her butt hole. More pleads were emitting from Lynn but they were falling on deaf ears. Paul, mostly silent all this time, was mesmerized at the sight before him.

Suddenly, Paul said, “Go ahead. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but she never would let me. Go…do it to her…”

I pushed my cock into her ass and even with the pussy juice smeared on it, she was way too tight to enter. I looked up at Paul with an expression of disappointment and bewilderment on my face. Paul instantly saw my dilemma and opened a dresser door. Out popped one of the largest tubes of K-Y I have ever seen, although half of it was gone. Damn, that made me think! I took the K-Y and smeared a big glob on my dick and picked up where I left off.

The slippery K-Y was working and I could feel my cock enter her tight asshole. I pushed my cock into her ass just an inch when her pleads grew more intense.

Finally, I looked up at Paul and said, “Paul, stick something in her mouth to shut her up!”

I was thinking he would have stuffed her panties in her mouth, but Paul walked up to her, turned her head toward him and stuck that monster of a cock into her mouth.

“Suck this, or it’s going back there when he’s done!”

He stuck his cock into her mouth, and she begun sucking and licking it. I pressed harder, and the tip of my cock went deeper into her asshole. She growled and said something, but it was muted by the cock she had in her mouth. I pushed deeper and with every stroke she bucked. After a few strokes, she was used to me inside her and I begun to hammer her ass like no tomorrow.

Stroke after stroke. Deeper and deeper I pushed. She was squirming and twisting with each thrust I made. I looked down and could see the engorged lips of her pussy turn pinker with every thrust of my cock into her tight asshole. I reached down and placed two of my fingers up her soaking wet pussy, all the while pushing my cock as deep as I could into her ass. Higher up, I found her clit had popped out and was hanging down like a micro-sized dick. I grabbed it and begun to twist it between my fingers, rolling it between my thumb and forefinger. I started to feel the energy that was emitting from within the room and increased my tempo and fury.

I screamed out, “You fucking whore! I am going to pound your ass so deep you’ll be shitting out Monday’s lunch Wednesday’s evening!”

All the sudden I could feel the pressure building inside me and I knew I was about to shoot my load. So, knowing how she liked cum on her tits, I reached up and un-clasped her bra, and it fell to the bed. I pulled my cock out of her ass as I picked up her bra, trying to hold off for just a few seconds longer. I placed one cup around my cock as I let loose. Before I was done, I had coated both of her bra cups with my hot messy cum. I pulled her pantyhose back up her ass, giving it a good strong yank.

Exhausted, I looked up just in time to see Paul shooting his load across her face and into her strawberry-blond hair. He took this cock and begun rubbing it back and forth across her face, sticking in it and out of her mouth every few seconds. He slapped her cheeks with his manhood and all at once he let go another shot. This time the cum’s target was her cheek, and warm, tacky cum run down her face toward her mouth. She stuck out her tongue and caught some of his seed as it ran toward the bed.

“Paul, roll her back over and set her up.”

As he did, I took her cum-filled bra and handed it to her. “Put it on!”

She placed it near her breasts and then stopped.

“Put your goddamn bra on!” I shot back.

With that, she eased her tits into the front of her bra as it made a ‘squish squish’ sound. She had a look on her face that could kill; I’ve never seen her as pissed off as she was then.

“Shoulder straps, put the bra’s shoulder straps on and clasp the thing closed.” I commanded.

She did as she was instructed and as she reached behind her to clasp the bra, small rivers of cum oozed out of the sheer nylon material and started to drip down on the bed.

“There, you both wanted cum on tits, now you have cum on tits.”

“Paul, anything else you want of her?” I asked.

Without saying a word, He pushed her back down on the bed and spread her legs out before him. He took a finger and moved the hole he cut in her pantyhose earlier and positioned it over her pussy. He gave the material a slight tug, and I could hear the nylon give from his strength.

He put his head between her legs and within seconds he had his tongue inside her. As he begun pulling and sucking her, he reached up under her ass and within less than a minute, she let out a muffled scream. Apparently, Paul liked that little ass of hers too, and he pushed a few fingers up her asshole while he was eating her out.

As Paul continued his assault on her pussy with his tongue, she started to buck and shake again. She was shaking so madly she managed to kick off her high heels. One hit the ceiling, leaving a mark in the drywall.

I felt that I had just a little bit left in me, so as my cock started to stiffen up a bit I moved toward her and stuck my dick, still covered with some of her own dirt, into her face. She turned away, ignoring me.

“Paul! This whore won’t suck my cock!”

I’ve known Paul for decades, and he had always been there for me, even if he was fucking my wife. I guess he bit her, making her scream, a scream that would curdle blood; she turned her head back toward me and took my cock into her mouth.

“Suck it! You little whore bitch! Suck the snot out of my dick!” I was practically screaming at her as her head moved back and forth, my cock in her mouth. I knew I did not have the reserves like Super Dick, so when I felt I could no longer keep my load inside, I pulled my cock out and shot a nice, although much smaller, gooey mess dead on her lips. The cum dripped down her chin, pooling on her chest.

Paul was still eating pussy, and Lynn was moaning and groaning again now that my cock was out of her mouth. I took the opportunity to get myself dressed, and I headed for the bathroom to wash up. As I pulled my pants on, I heard Lynn let out one last yell as she came again. At last, even Paul was drained as I looked into the bedroom. Lynn just lay there, staring out at the ceiling. Paul was working on stuffing himself back into his clothes.

Lynn’s shoes were off, so I reached up and pulled her pantyhose down. She was worn out and exhausted; she put up no resistance as I rolled her pantyhose down her legs and off of her feet. With her hose under my arm, I held out my hand and said, “Your bra, hand me your bra.”

Her bra had changed color from a fiery red to a titty pink with all the cum that had been shot into and onto it.

“What the fuck for?”

“Just give me your goddamn bra or I will take it from you!”

She gave me another one of her killer looks, but I was coming back down from the midday fuck fest high, so I was getting pissed again.

She reached around her back and undid the bra’s clasp, and then she slipped the shoulder straps down her arms. Her bra was still clinging to her tits, stuck with the drying cum, and she had to pull the cups on the garment to release it from her. It made a wet slurping sound when she gave it a last tug.

“There, you fucking happy now?”


I reached down and picked her skirt up, then her blouse and finally her shoes and rolled them together into a ball, then tucked them under my arm.

“What the fuck are you doing? Jesus Christ, Steve, you can’t leave me here naked!”

“Yup, sure can, and I’ll be leaving soon. She’s all yours, Paul.”

Paul looked up and said, “Well, what in the hell am I going to do with her? She’s not staying here!”

“What do you mean, you don’t want me? I thought you and I were an item?”

“Oh hell no Lynn, you thought wrong!” Paul shot back.

“You’re just a good piece of ass, that’s all. I don’t want you here. Hell, Jill is coming over this Saturday.”

When Paul said that, I kind of got pissed, after all, he used her too, not only today, but only God and them knew how often they had met here before.

“I’ll be going now. You don’t need to show me the way out, I’m good.”

“My clothes! What about my clothes? I have nothing to wear!”

“I’ll put them with the rest of your stuff, out on the front lawn. You and Paul can figure things out; you two are good at planning. Oh, yeah, I’ll have my lawyer contact your lawyer.”

“Steve! I made a mistake! Steve!” Lynn called out.

She moved into the living room and sat down on the couch naked as a jay-bird. Her tits had a glazed sugar look from all the cum she wore. Cupping her head into her hands, she started to cry.

“Steve! I made a mistake!” Lynn repeated.

“Can’t we at least talk about it? I made a mistake!” Lynn coked out between tears and sobs.

“What the fuck! You were calling out his name while he fucked you and now you tell me you’re sorry. Jesus Christ Lynn, do you really think I’m that fucking stupid?”

“That was before…”

“Before what?”

“Before he told me he didn’t want me! Can’t we at least talk about it?”

“We’ll see. We’ll see.”

And with, that I left the apartment, leaving my unofficial ex-wife alone with her boyfriend and my now-ex-best friend. My marriage was over. Although it seemed like we fucked and sucked all afternoon, by my watch, we were at it no more than an hour, maybe two.

But you know what the really amazing thing about my story is? Had either one of them called my bluff, I would have lost. My cell phone doesn’t have a built-in video camera! What a pair of dumb asses!

So, Jack, that’s my story. What a shitty day!

As Steve sat at the bar, Ben the bartender came over.

“Steve, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Ben looked at the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and then back at Steve.

“You drank half a fifth? Your car keys, let’s have them!”

“I’m fine, Ben, really I am.”

“Bull shit! Give me your keys, Steve; you’re not driving home like this. I heard you talking to yourself down here. With that story, the last thing you need today is a DUI! I’ll have one of the kids in the kitchen run you home before we close.”

Steve attempted to stand, nearly falling over, as he tried to dig his keys out from his pocket. He handed them to Ben.

“Good! Now you just set there with Mr. Daniels, and we’ll get you home safe.”

Steve sits back down. He picks up the shot glass and stares though the brown liquid, then tips his head back and downs another shot. The whiskey burns as if flows down his throat.

“Let me tell you, Jack, I had one hell of a shitty day today, although it really began sometime ago…”

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