Alice van der Poole loved her boyfriend. Really, she did. Ben was perfectly handsome, perfectly sweet, perfectly... bland. Every kiss was preceded with a gentle, "May I kiss you?" and followed by a whispered, "You're so beautiful." At night, Ben would tell her how precious she was, how delicate and sweet and lovely. His fragile, perfect little rose. Alice wanted to scream.
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"So, bet you didn't expect the night to turn out like this." Jessica smiled at me wickedly, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you that you met me today?"
"Yeah, that would be a fucking 11."
"Thought so." She shook her head. "And look at you, eating one girl's ass out then going home with her roommate to eat her ass, too. You know, if you were a girl, people would call you a slut."
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I met Nicole at a party. It was still early in the night, and she was standing alone, untouched drink in her hand. To my surprise, no guys were lining up to hit on this very attractive girl in a classic black cocktail party dress, but she definitely was giving a stand-offish vibe - she was obviously uncomfortable, waiting for a friend to come back. I was pretty much in the same situation, so I decided to use that to break the ice.
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I was in my junior year of college and was hating life since I was still a virgin. It wasn't for lack of trying, but my natural shyness overwhelmed my horniness more often than not. I had taken a job in the dining halls as an easy way to make some money and it was a pretty cool job. After I had been there a few weeks, I noticed that one of the full-time workers was talking to me about more and more personal stuff.
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"What's the matter? Can't you find the hole?" Sarah teased Ben from the office across the hall. He wadded up a piece of paper and made another attempt at her wastepaper basket. It was short again by about a foot. It was nearly noon and Ben was enjoying watching his pretty, brunette co-worker tidy up her office before going to lunch.
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I want to tell you all a little story about a former fuck buddy of mine. I'm using the term "fuck buddy" here relatively because we never technically fucked per se. Suffice to say that I met a crazy girl who did some crazy things with me. OK, I'm being too vague now, and I'm probably confusing you. Here's how it all happened:
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Today was my day off. It was about seven at night, and I had just gotten around to taking a shower. After reading for a few hours, playing some old games on my Super Nintendo, and responding to a couple of work-related e-mails, it seemed prudent to wash away the stank of laziness before my current girlfriend returned home.
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1.
"Nora!" My wife clapped her hand over her mouth reflexively. "Uh...."
I turned away from the forest nymph tracing lazy circles on my chest to see what had caught my wife's attention.
"Jocelyn, what's a respectable woman like you doing here?" Our young neighbor greeted my wife with her usual playful cheeriness.
"I ... uh ... we ... uh ..." My wife was at a loss for words. She who was so facile with the English language could not form a complete sentence.
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