Lana is a 27 year old virgin. That's her state because of her background and more than a mild case of generalized social anxiety disorder. She was an only child whose parents died when she was 10. Fortunately – or maybe unfortunately because it allowed her to shelter herself – her parents were wealthy and left their money to her in a trust administered by her father's long time trusted attorney, rather than her gold digging relatives.
"Are you ready yet? These reservations cost me and they made it clear on the phone that we lose our table if we're late!" Steph called out to me.
I'm usually the one waiting on her to get ready but tonight is different. It's not often that I get dressed up in a suit and tie but this was a special occasion.
I suppose you could say it all started just before I reached my 40th birthday. I knew that I still felt the same inside as I did in my early 20's, but now needed to prove it to myself, and the world!
I had recently called time on my marriage to a man who had constantly belittled me, refused to let me wear make-up, lose my baby weight, or wear fashionable clothes and worst of all had tried to cut me off from all my friends and family.
After mine and Naomi's first threesome, a chance encounter involving her boss that I detailed in 'Naomi's First Threesome', and before we discovered swingers parties, we'd wondered for months how to repeat the experience.
For a while, we looked at trying to set up another threesome and among the options we'd discussed was trying to seduce a teenage female co-worker of Naomi's.
Becky bends over, leans into Paul's ear. "It's stuffy in here," she says. "Let's go for a walk."
Paul looks up and watches her retreat around the coffee table. He pardons himself to his two bookend sofa-mates – the gregarious Auntie Lou and the diametric Grandma Claire, a stick with permanently down-turned lips and hardened scowl. Paul is relieved to escape her still life painting.
My god she is beautiful. My wife Sharon has just got out of the shower and her long dark curly hair is cascading down her back. At 39 and three kids later she is still a stunner. A small mummy tummy is all that is can be seen, and that only by a trained eye.
This morning before we arrived for our friend June's 40th birthday I shouted her a facial, wax and massage at an exclusive beauty parlour here in the Blue Mountains.
My phone buzzed. Looking down at it, I saw that it was a text message from Emma. Looking in the rearview mirror, the blue and red flashing lights of the state trooper that had just pulled me over spiked into my eyes and the high beams made my eyes water. Pushing the button on the phone, I read the message. 'Where are you?' it said.
It was nearing six o'clock. Jason glanced at his watch for the third time. "Honey? You about ready?" he called up to her from the stairs. He chuckled to himself. Denise had been primping herself for well over an hour. Not that that was a bad thing, she was just a little nervous. And it wasn't that she'd been worried about choosing the right outfit to wear for the evening, she wouldn't be wearing one.
Tonight was his birthday. His present was my ass's virginity. I'd prepared it for him, stretched my back entrance with my fingers and toys so as soon as he came home he could have me.
I heard him open the door and call for me. I didn't answer, I wanted him to see me how I was. My ass high up in the air with a large plug in it.
The melancholy old songs were playing on the stereo. It had been 2 years ago, this day, that Andreas had been taken from me. Listening to the old 70s love ballads – The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, Barbra Streisand... All of those torch songs about lost love and trying to find my man or to try to replace the one that got away...