Loading...Prelude
As Emily sank deeper into the simmering warmth of her tub, the candle on the vanity flickered with almost ghostly reflections in the mirror adding a virtually eerie ambiance to the bathroom. The scents of lavender bath oil beads that had melted in the water earlier coupled with the mulberries of the wafting aromas of the candle.
Emily kept her eyes loosely shut as her naked body relaxed in the tub and her mind meandered back several eventful years ago. So much had changed in her life in that time and she found herself reflecting on those memories that will haunt or inspire her for the remainder of her days on this Earth.
Year One
Emily was a thirty year old woman fresh out of a failed marriage. Her husband was a philandering cheat, a reckless spendthrift, and had roaming eyes that no longer seemed to land on her as a source for sexual gratification. After a few years of distanced living bereft of love or compassion, the only real reward of her wedding vows was her one year old daughter. Samantha was the light of her life and desires for her to have a privileged life were the motivations Emily had for finally launching divorce proceedings. She never heard from her deadbeat ex husband again.
Emily had married her husband right out of school. She attended university for her first year, but dropped out when her husband promised to take care of her for the rest of her life. Emily confessed that he did just that for the first few years of their marriage. The seemingly insurmountable challenge emerged now that she was alone to face the obstacles of life without an education, a vocation, or a means to support Samantha.
Emily had become somewhat close friends with her landlady Tara. Tara owned the complex and the two women virtually of the same age had become solid friends. One Saturday night, Tara came by the apartment to find Emily leafing through the want-ads and typing up multiple letters of application to relatively modest entry level positions of employment. After a short discussion over a steaming mug of coffee, Tara offered Emily an opportunity that changed the face of her life for the next few years.
Tara always seemed to have an abundance of disposable income, but Emily had never contemplated for a moment that Tara may have outside sources of income. Tara saw a need to confess and in the next few minutes explained that she had been an “escort” for some years. While Tara started off as a companion for hire, she now exclusively orchestrated dates with men seeking out time and companionship. Tara explained that she earned a substantial income which allowed her to procure this complex several years before they had met.
It didn’t take long for Emily to be convinced. Looking over at the rapidly emptying fridge and knowing her purse wasn’t in much better shape, Emily knew the time for a revolutionary change was fast approaching. Christmas was coming soon and she didn’t want to face Samantha on Christmas morning without a gift for her little girl.
Emily and Tara set up a safety net for her to use for every appointment she made. Tara would call her shortly after the onset of her appointment and Emily would pretend a family member was calling. It was an innocent fib to protect Emily’s safety. The code word was Aurora — Emily’s little sister’s name.
Tara started to set up appointments for Emily. When Tara told Emily one of the first clients to contact her was a woman, Emily almost refused to meet her. No woman had ever been a candidate for her sexual yearnings. Could she face a woman on a sexual playing field? Tara confided that she had some past lesbian encounters and had enjoyed them each and every time. The few female clients in this business were actually prized.
Emily briefly struggled with the arrangement, but finally decided that her emotions in this business would have to remain impersonal in the long run. She wouldn’t grow attached to her clients and they would be gone from her life after a few hours of sacrifice on her part. Emily’s curiosity, too, was growing about this mysterious client. In the end, she agreed to the meeting.
The time soon came for Emily’s first appointment. She worried all day long as she exercised, showered, and primed herself for her upcoming liaison. Emily borrowed a beautiful dress from Tara. Tara did Emily’s makeup and her hairstyle that flattered her sculpted features. Tara agreed to take care of Samantha for the remainder of the evening.
Whenever Emily was stressed out, worried, or otherwise on edge, she found herself pacing methodically if not frantically. It seemed as if she was going to wear a hole through the beaten path of her fading carpet when she heard the knock on the door that broke her haphazard concentration. It’s now or never, Emily.
For a skip and a beat of her palpitating heart, she thought about calling off the whole ordeal. Emily took one more scan of the spartanly decorated room, took a deep labored breath, and opened the door.
Standing on the doorstep was a fetching woman very close to her own age. The woman stood a few inches taller than Emily. Her body was athletically built no doubt from countless hours in a gym. Her long tresses of blondish white hair draped down her back. The woman was dressed conservatively and was bundled in a supple leather jacket. She was carrying a poinsettia in her arms.
Woman — “You must be Linda. I’m Jocelyn.”
Linda was the name that Emily had chosen to conceal her identity. She needed to come up with an alias that didn’t sound particularly faked, but also didn’t closely resemble her own real name. Emily wasn’t fond of welcoming strangers into her home, but at the moment this really was her only option.
Jocelyn — “Can I come in, Linda? You seem a little nervous. We can rebook if another time would be more suitable.”
Emily — “No Jocelyn. Come in. Come in.”
Jocelyn — “Thanks Linda. I brought this plant for you. It’s so close to Christmas and one of the youth groups was selling them at the corner.”
Emily — “Thanks Jocelyn. That was very kind of you. Can I take your jacket?”
Jocelyn turned around and Emily hovered in behind her. Emily reached for her waist length leather jacket as Jocelyn shrugged the garment from her arms. Emily caught a whiff of her client’s perfume. Emily didn’t recognize the scent or the brand, but admired it nonetheless. She hung up Jocelyn’s jacket and started to walk into the living room towards the inner rooms of the apartment.
Jocelyn took an eager look around and through the open doors of the hall nearby. After a moment of sizing the place up, she looked back at Emily with a thoughtful smile.
Emily — “Shall we go to the bedroom?”
Jocelyn crooked her head and peered past Emily. She looked into the living room.
Jocelyn — “That sofa looks pretty comfortable. How about we sit in there?”
Emily sat down on the somewhat ragged sofa that she inherited from the last tenants that left the forlorn furnishings behind in their haste to avoid eviction. Jocelyn sat a few feet away from her on the edge of the cushions.
Jocelyn — “This is your first time, isn’t it?”
Emily — “How did you know?”
Jocelyn — “You seem very nervous. I won’t bite. I promise.”
Emily — “That’s good to know. I must confess I’m very nervous.”
With that, the phone rang and Emily picked it up. Hearing Tara on the other end, the masquerade continued for a minute of small talk allegedly with her little sister. Emily glanced at Jocelyn scanning her for signs of trouble. Detecting nothing out of the ordinary, she said goodbye to her little sister “Aurora”.
Jocelyn — “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I was right here after all. Will you see your sister over the holidays?”
Emily — “I’m afraid not. She lives a few hours drive away and I don’t own a car.”
Jocelyn — “That’s a shame. Perhaps she could come this way to visit you?”
Emily — “I don’t think so. She’s in a similar position as I am.”
Jocelyn — “She’ll be here in spirit, I guess, and you can talk to Aurora any time you’d like on the phone. Maybe next year will be better. It’s always important to look forward to things with a certain hope.”
Emily — “Thanks Jocelyn. I hope so. I guess we better make your time here worthwhile, shouldn’t we? Shall we go to the bedroom?”
Jocelyn — “Oh I think we’re fine here. Hey, I know. There’s a Christmas special I always loved as a kid on the television tonight. Do you remember ‘The Year Without Santa Claus’?”
Emily — “No I don’t think so. You want me to turn on the television and you can show me?”
Jocelyn — “Would that be ok with you? I’d really hate to miss it. I try to catch it every year.”
Emily was a bit taken aback, but she reached for the remote control. Tuning in to the channel specified by her beaming client, she was amused as the story came to life. Emily admitted the story did seem oddly familiar and she may have seen the special at some time in the distant past. Jocelyn seemed fascinated by the show and rarely looked away from the glowing screen. Emily was starting to feel very comfortable with Jocelyn. During the first commercial break, Emily made hot cocoa for the two of them.
Do you remember this special with the quirky little marionette elves, the Heat Miser and the Cold Miser, and the vanishing Santa Claus? No? Do you remember the almost surreal song and dance of the puppets as they careened across the screen? I do suggest you catch it. It’s simply Too Much.
When the special came to an end, another special from yesteryear was aired. And then another. Soon enough, three hours of reminiscence had passed. Jocelyn uneasily turned to Emily.
Jocelyn — “Thanks Linda. I really enjoyed that. I didn’t want to miss that first program. You were a good sport putting up with my childishness. I think I had better get going. I guess our time has long ago been up.”
Emily — “Yes, I guess it is. I didn’t expect to be spending the evening doing that.”
Jocelyn — “No I guess you wouldn’t.”
Jocelyn paused a moment as if lost in contemplation.
Jocelyn — “Do you think I could come back this time next year?”
Emily — “Are you in the habit of making plans a year ahead?”
Jocelyn — “For the right plans, yes I do. If you aren’t still doing this next year, I’ll understand of course. Maybe I could call your friend Tara next year and see if it’s still feasible?”
Emily — “That sounds nice. I do wish you’d come back sooner rather than later.”
Jocelyn — “If I get too much of a good thing, I’d want it all the time. Besides, it gives me something to look forward to.”
Emily — “Then it’s a date, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn got up and took another lingering glance through the apartment. As she slipped into her jacket, Emily leaned in and held Jocelyn in a soft, welcoming embrace. She planted a wet kiss on her cheek.
Jocelyn blushed and peeled back from her.
Jocelyn — “Thank you, Linda. Merry Christmas to you.”
Emily — “Merry Christmas to you too, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn placed an envelope on the small table perched in the front hall and turned to flee. Emily watched her walk down the hall and Emily returned to her apartment. She opened the envelope remembering Tara’s advice to count the contents of her tribute before she left. Emily leafed through the envelope to find that not only had Jocelyn covered Emily’s rates, she had left a fairly sizeable surplus.
Emily had never looked upon another woman and caught even a hint of attraction. Why did she suddenly feel that unexplainable attraction to Jocelyn? She found her mind passing over a vivid image of the shapely woman that had just left her company. Perhaps she always felt this way about women but had never paid it much time or thought.
A few days passed and Emily was visited by men with very different agendas. In truth, she had a good time with each of them. Her Christmas plans were coming to fruition and many of her bills were getting paid. Emily was actually seeing a glimpse of happiness and hope for the first time in a very long time. With that, a knock was heard on her door.
When she opened the door, nobody was there. Just as she was going to close the door, she looked down at the floor of the hall. A hamper containing food, blankets, and clothing sat at her feet. A small box of Christmas ornaments sat inside. A bottle of wine, a carton of egg nog, and a box of colorfully decorated baked sweets were there too.
Best of the treasures was a fully assembled artificial Christmas tree. It was tiny, like the one on the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, but it was pretty special anyways. A small tear of happiness formed in the corner of Emily’s eye when she noticed a couple wrapped gifts under the tree.
Bringing the bounty inside, she sat at the couch. Could it be Jocelyn? Was it Tara? Her family? Who could it be? Did it matter? Regardless of who it was, they wanted to remain anonymous. They had left their gifts at her doorstep and fled before she could thank them.
For the first time in many years, Emily found herself humming along to the Christmas carols she remembered from many years ago. She reclined on the sofa as she fell off to slumber with dreams of sugarplums dancing in her head.
Year Two
Emily caught up on all the impending responsibilities she would have neglected if not for this change of pace. The bill collectors stopped calling. She provided for her daughter all the material things she could possibly need or want. Emily found that she desired that her daughter have what she didn’t when she was growing up.
Emily contemplated how some might think she ended up in this line of work. Was it her upbringing that brought her to this stage in her life? Emily admitted she had fond memories of her childhood, but her parents always struggled with tight purse strings and very rarely made ends meet. Her young life was full of fond memories regardless so she couldn’t blame her parents for how things turned out.
In all honesty, there was no culpable blame to be shared for this peculiar turn of events. Emily needed to earn a substantial income in a relatively short period of time. Given how life had turned out in the last ten years, she didn’t have many options to exercise to achieve those short term goals.
While she persisted in setting up appointments with clients through Tara, she saw fewer clients and spent more time with her daughter. Emily earned enough to pay the bills, buy some luxurious gifts for her daughter, and stash a little money aside for those inevitable rainy days. It meant she only had to visit with a few clients every week.
Emily often let her mind wander to that first night with Jocelyn. She wondered if she would hear from her before Christmas time. As the months crept along, it became evident that she would have to wait for Jocelyn’s call in December. Emily made it abundantly clear to Tara that she wanted to speak with Jocelyn personally.
Emily bided her time with a developing friendship with Tara and others. She spent most of her waking hours with her daughter. As the winter descended upon the neighborhood and the first snow blew across the region, Emily was anxious about Jocelyn’s meeting. She knew she shouldn’t get her hopes up as Jocelyn may very well not call. Emily knew nothing about her and couldn’t predict that she was a woman of her word.
One night in late November, Emily was cuddled up on her couch with a warm quilt. She was sipping on hot cocoa as she watched the local televised Santa Claus parade. Emily was drawn out of her almost vegetative trance inspired by the television when a knock was heard at the door. Emily thought about ignoring the door as she didn’t want to leave the comforts of her warm quilt. When the knocking became frantic and increasingly louder, she also heard the muffled voice of Tara on the other side of the door.
Emily wrapped the warm quilt around her slender body as she shuffled over to the door. Opening it, she found Tara. Tara rarely smiled, but her face was awash with glee. Tara held her hand out to Emily and passed her the handset of the cordless phone.
Emily — “Hello this is Linda. Merry Christmas.”
Jocelyn — “I’m glad to hear you say those words, Linda. I’ve been hoping I would hear some real merry-ness this time around.”
Emily — “Jocelyn?”
Jocelyn — “Yup. It’s me. Can I come by tomorrow night?”
Emily — “Any night that is good for you, Jocelyn. Any night.”
Jocelyn — “Can I come by around six?”
Emily — “Any time that is good for you, Jocelyn. Any time.”
Jocelyn — “Hospitality is very becoming of you, Linda. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Emily — “I can’t wait.”
As she hung up and the two girls sat down at the kitchen table, Emily poured another mug of cocoa for Tara.
Tara — “You really like her, don’t you?”
Emily — “Yes, I really do. I wish I could see her more often.”
Tara — “I really liked the first guy I met in this business too, Emily. We still go out for drinks from time to time.”
Emily — “It’s silly for me to think of her like this isn’t it?”
Tara — “It can be dangerous to feel that way too, sweetie.”
Emily — “I can’t help it. I think she was really kind to me and Samantha.”
Tara — “You only think she was?”
Emily — “I think it was her that left those gifts last year and the little Christmas tree too. Unless it was you or my family I can’t think of who else it might have been.”
Tara — “It has her name written all over it Emily. I can’t take the credit.”
Emily — “She even wrapped up a gift for Samantha and I. Samantha still sleeps with the stuffed doggie she got to unwrap on Christmas morning. She cuddles him every night. And the outfit she bought me I haven’t worn yet. I thought I might wear it tomorrow when she comes.”
Tara — “I think she might like that, Emily. Just be careful, sweetie. You really don’t know her much at all.”
Emily — “I know I shouldn’t let her get too close, Tara. I think I’ll tell her my real name though. Is that foolish?”
Tara — “You really trust her, don’t you?”
Emily — “Yeah I guess I do.”
Tara — “Go with your heart in the heat of the moment I guess. Most of the guys I’ve been setting you up with seem harmless if not a little lonely. Jocelyn doesn’t give me that impression, though. The lonely part that is.”
Emily — “Me either. I’m wondering what she’s going to want to do tomorrow. I’ve been thinking about it all year long.”
Tara — “Let her have her fun. At least, she’ll likely keep her hands off of you.”
Emily — “To be honest, I sort of feel a little rejected by her not touching me. It feels weird.”
Tara — “I have a sprig of mistletoe we could put up above the door. Maybe you can at least get a kiss out of it all?”
Emily — “Can I borrow it for the night? If it feels right, I’ll ask her for that kiss.”
The day passed and Emily passed the time decorating her modest apartment with affectations befitting the Christmas season. She dug out a box of ornaments her mother had given her years ago. Sadly, Emily had to pawn a few of the ornate baubles over the course of the last few years. They still sat on consignment at a somewhat unscrupulous local pawn broker. Emily had never gotten the money together to buy them back from him.
She baked some goodies making sure the aromas of her sweet goods wafted through the air of the kitchen. It gave the kitchen a homely appeal. Emily dressed herself in the gift of last Christmas suitably in greens and reds and she watched as the fabric hugged her curves like a second skin. It was tailored perfectly and fit splendidly. Jocelyn had a good eye.
Emily thought for a blink of a moment that Jocelyn may not have been her mysterious benefactor. Besides, she had fled the scene to preserve her anonymity. Emily thought that while she wanted to honor the gifts by enjoying them, she would not mention them outright.
The hours and minutes ticked by at a snail’s pace. Often, she found herself glancing over at the wall clock. Emily flipped through the channels and a grin crossed her face when a Christmas special came on. Emily’s raging anxiety faded as she relaxed on her sofa passing the time indulging in the Christmas shenanigans.
Emily’s giggles were interrupted with a knock at the door. With a look of terror, she glanced at the clock. It was 6pm! Emily leapt from the couch and hurried to the door. Opening it up, she saw Jocelyn for the first time in a year. She was carrying a large box under her arm.
Jocelyn — “Hello Linda. Merry Christmas.”
Emily — “I’ve been looking forward to this, Jocelyn. Merry Christmas to you too. Come on in.”
Jocelyn inched her way inside as the two women walked into the now carpeted living room. Jocelyn’s face erupted in looks of wonder and curiosity as she peered through the creature comforts of the home sweet home. Her eyes darted down the corridor to the open doors of the bedrooms.
Jocelyn — “Linda this is such a far cry from last year. I’m tickled pink that you have gotten into the Christmas spirit so very soon.”
Emily — “It took a special woman to get me in that spirit.”
Jocelyn — “Sometimes people can inspire that in others. I know a few people like that. In fact, I want to introduce you to one of them tonight.”
Emily — “Really? Right now?”
Jocelyn — “Not quite yet, Linda. Do you mind going out?”
Emily — “I thought we might watch some of the specials again.”
Jocelyn — “I put them on a tape last year. All of them. Maybe we can watch them later if you’d like. Did you make any other plans tonight?”
Emily — “I wouldn’t have dared. You are my whole evening, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn’s eyes glanced over at the little Christmas tree. She wandered over to the miniature tree and admired the decorations hanging on its limbs. The popcorn strings, home made streamers, mirrored balls, and candy canes completed the look.
Jocelyn — “These ornaments look quite antique like, Linda. Where in the world did you find them?”
Emily — “They belonged to my mother, but she passed them on to me. It was originally a set of twelve pieces, but only six of them came to me. I think mother wanted to collect the whole set, but was never able to do so.”
Jocelyn — “There seem to be only three of them here, Linda.”
Emily — “I pawned three of them at the neighborhood shylock. I never was able to buy them back.”
Jocelyn didn’t say a word and looked over at Emily for a moment.
Jocelyn — “You look really nice tonight, Linda. I have something for you.”
The two of them sat down on the couch. Emily crossed her legs as she looked over at Jocelyn. Emily reached under the couch and brought out a wrapped gift in a small box.
Emily — “Jocelyn, you really shouldn’t have. But I guess I shouldn’t have either.”
Jocelyn — “Thank you Linda, but you really shouldn’t have either.”
Jocelyn and Emily opened the tags on the gifts. When Jocelyn flipped open the red tag on the small box, she smiled as she saw the name Emily written in red letters. It wasn’t alarm that her face betrayed, but maybe a feeling of belongingness. Both of them opened the colorful wrapping and opened their gifts.
Jocelyn — “Your winter wear last year seemed a little ragged. I saw you haven’t replaced it when I came in. Since I was hoping on taking you out in the cold tonight, I thought it was only fair that I bought you this gift…Emily.”
Emily — “Thank you so much, Jocelyn. And I thought that if I could buy you a watch, which you don’t seem to wear, you might think of me from time to time. Maybe you might….call more often.”
Jocelyn — “It seems we both had ulterior motives then.”
Emily — “I guess the cat is out of the bag, isn’t it?”
Emily just giggled and opened the boxed gift. Inside, she found a heavy winter jacket accompanied with matching mittens, a scarf, and a hat. Jocelyn snapped on the watch adjusting the time on it. Tapping the watch, she bashfully looked up at Emily. Emily leaned in and gave Jocelyn a big hug. Jocelyn took some time to melt into the embrace and Emily soon felt the warm shunts of her breath touch the bare hollow of her neck.
Jocelyn seemed to be a little out of sorts all of a sudden. As she regained her composure, she gazed at her attractive companion. She placed a videotape and an envelope on the coffee table.
Jocelyn — “Shall we go then?”
Emily — “Absolutely. I’m looking forward to the next surprise.”
Jocelyn — “Well I’m looking forward to some of those delicious cookies you’re baking in there.”
Jocelyn took the jacket from Emily and helped her stuff her petite body inside the cozy jacket. Jocelyn wrapped the scarf around Emily’s bare neck and shivered when the back of Jocelyn’s hand grazed her neck. She placed the woolen hat on the crown of Emily’s head and her long tresses of auburn hair fell loose beneath the hat. Jocelyn slipped Emily’s manicured fingertips into the mittens.
Emily suddenly feigned a look of alarm and peered up pointing at the mistletoe. Jocelyn’s eyes traced her pointing and a nearly crimson blush flowed through her cheeks. Emily leaned in and pecked Jocelyn’s lips. Her plump, ample lips caressed Jocelyn’s. The subtle tastes of the chap-stick on both of their lips permeated them both. Jocelyn’s eyes involuntarily closed, as did Emily’s, but they soon parted from the surprisingly soothing gesture. Jocelyn’s blush did not diminish, but she succumbed to the embarrassment opening the door to the apartment and ushering her newest friend out of the building.
Jocelyn took Emily’s be-mittened hands and they strolled down the street. They walked through the nearby park which Jocelyn knew was decorated with a dazzling array of Christmas lights. The snow had been cleared from the cobble-stoned path. The rolling hills of the park topped with evergreen trees were covered in a velveteen soft blanket of white snow. The gaslights along the perimeter of the path were wrapped with wreaths and red bows. Blinking lights were strung all along the path.
Jocelyn and Emily passed by several couples enjoying similar trips through the heavenly bliss of the park. Emily found her mind wandering through the myriad of possibilities in their stories. She wondered if Jocelyn was of the same pensive thinking, but she was never able to properly read her concealed emotions or thoughts. Jocelyn’s body language and expressive face never really revealed any of her sordid thoughts or secrets. Jocelyn’s grip on her hand did seem to tighten around her little hands as they passed by the happy couples.
Near the centre of the park a pavilion was used to host non profit concerts and theatrical events of dramatic groups. A growing crowd had formed at the base of the raised patio. Several groups of families and couples watched as a crew of young boys and girls huddled together for warmth and camaraderie. Within moments, the almost cherubic faces shone with vivid happiness. Rehearsed carols of old escaped their vocal cords and their brilliant sounds in near perfect pitch filled the air. Jocelyn and Emily lost track of the time but stiff breezes were swiping over the landscape. Emily felt a chill creep into her body despite her heavy jacket. Jocelyn opened her jacket and brought it over top of Emily’s shoulders. Jocelyn embraced Emily tightly as the heat of her skin covered her body. Emily felt Jocelyn’s breast touch her arm as they cuddled in the heavy coat. Emily felt aroused by their proximity and desperately wished they could be alone right now. When Jocelyn’s voice was heard chiming along to the chorus with many of the other watchers, Emily’s voice also rhymed along with the carolers.
Upon the completion of the serenade, Jocelyn stepped forward to make a modest contribution to the group in the provided black rimmed hat set at the base of the stairs. Jocelyn and Emily continued their stroll through the park and ended up at the far exit of the wonderland.
Soon, they found themselves reentering civilization and coming upon the local mall. Emily tagged along as the two of them entered the mall passing to a central café. They sat down and placed some orders for hot apple cider. They found a place to sit near the entrance of the café. A waist height garden ran along the periphery of the shop so you could watch the shoppers sweep by in the hub of the mall.
Emily — “Can I ask you something Jocelyn? Something pretty blunt?”
Jocelyn — “Of course you can, Emily. What would you like to know?”
Emily — “Why do you shy away from touching me, Jocelyn?”
Jocelyn — “Can I be equally blunt, Emily?”
Emily — “What’s good for the gander is good for the goose, Jocelyn. So to speak.”
Jocelyn — “Remember our first meeting last Christmas?”
Emily — “How could I forget it?”
Jocelyn — “Well it was pretty unforgettable to me too. I thought about you all year long, Emily. That first time I walked inside, however, I took a look around. I saw your home and saw the trouble you were in. I looked down the hall and saw the corners of the pink room. You have a little girl, don’t you?”
Emily — “Her name is Samantha. Some kind person bought her a gift last Christmas that she adores.”
Jocelyn blushed openly, but soon marshaled her courage.
Jocelyn — “I guess I thought you might be doing what you are doing to support your little one. It just didn’t seem right that you HAD to do it.”
Emily — “It’s sort of evolved past that point now, Jocelyn. But yes I did it all for Samantha.”
Jocelyn — “That’s very noble of you and I didn’t want to be a part of any loss of that nobility. Does that make sense?”
Emily — “Yes, I think it does. Thanks Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn — “I was the first woman you’ve ever been with, right? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?”
Emily — “Not at all, Jocelyn. Quite on the contrary.”
The sound of ringing bells conveniently changed the subject. The bells were heard coming closer down the promenade of the mall. Jocelyn hid behind the façade of alarm as she glanced down the corridor of the mall. Along came an entourage of elves in green garb and a jolly Saint Nick. His sizable paunch hung over his thick rawhide belt and shook with jolly bolts of laughter. Santa wore red and white furred garments befitting the mascot of the season. He wore a long white beard and spectacles covered the twinkle in his thoughtful eyes. The sounds of “ho ho ho” filled the air as Santa approached his perch at the center of the mall. The lines of the waiting kids and their parents grew as he started to welcome the kids up to his knee. Flashes of cameras strobed through the area.
Jocelyn — “Maybe you could bring Samantha down to see Santa this year. Would she be old enough yet?”
Emily — “She even came last year. Would you like to see the photo?”
Jocelyn — “Come hell or high water!”
Emily pulled the Polaroid out of the wallet in her purse. Jocelyn admired the picture and then tried to hand it back to Emily. Emily refused to take it.
Emily — “I’d like you to keep that, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn — “That is quite kind of you, Emily. She’s adorable. I bet you are very proud of her.”
Emily — “That’s an understatement, Jocelyn. She’s the light of my life.”
Jocelyn — “I can see how she has illuminated your way through times of trouble and sorrow of the past. Would it be too bold to ask where her father is? I’m sorry if that’s too much to ask.”
Emily — “He’s just gone, Jocelyn. Gone forever. Vanished without a trace.”
Jocelyn — “He’ll never get to see her grow up. And he’ll miss all these endearing moments like the one in this photo.”
Jocelyn dug into her purse and passed Emily a card.
Jocelyn — “That has my home and work numbers on it. If you ever want to chat or need help, don’t hesitate to call me.”
Emily — “Why are you so nice to me, Jocelyn?”
Jocelyn — “What comes around, goes around doesn’t it? That’s what my mom always used to say. She passed away this year, Emily.”
Emily — “She couldn’t have been that old. You must only be about thirty.”
Jocelyn — “I’m thirty five. Mom’s death was unexpected.”
A temporarily sullen Jocelyn glanced out at Santa with a pair of young twins on his knees.
Jocelyn — “Look at those two. You see the looks on the faces of the girls and boys waiting to see Santa? You see them while they tell him what they want for Christmas? You see them as they leave with their candy canes and some hope in their hearts? I always love coming here to see that. It makes me recall a real happy time in my life too.”
Emily — “Tell me about it, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn — “Do you remember the Hiway market here in town?”
Emily — “Who doesn’t?”
Jocelyn — “My daddy was one of the Santas there in his spare time at Christmas. When I was young, I remember not knowing he was playing Santa. When I got a little older, I knew but I never blew the mystique for him. I’d still go visit Santa just like the rest of the kids. Pretty silly, eh?”
Emily — “Not at all, Jocelyn. I think it’s really sweet.”
Emily and Jocelyn finished their drinks and retraced their steps to her apartment. They shed their winter clothes and clambered onto the sofa. After enjoying copious amounts of Christmas cookies, they enjoyed several hours of taped Christmas specials. Many of them, Emily had never seen.
As the tape came to and end, Jocelyn looked over at Emily.
Jocelyn — “I have a nick name for you, Emily. Is that ok?”
Emily looked a little confused as Jocelyn led her over to the window sill.
Jocelyn — “In the winter, the sky is so clear even in the middle of the ‘concrete jungle’. I remember so many visits to New York and Toronto in the summer and the winter, but I always loved the look of the night lights blinking in the winter. Smog hangs over you in the summer, but in the winter — the night sky is glorious! Every time I look up in the midst of the cold winter, I see the stars and I feel so very happy. You also make me very happy, Emily. Could I call you starshine?”
Emily — “You can call me anything you want, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn — “I think our time is almost up. I guess I should probably go. Thank you. I had a wonderful night and I hope you did too.”
Emily — “Do you really have to go?”
Jocelyn — “Yes I think I should.”
Emily — “Can I see you soon?”
Jocelyn — “I’m not sure yet, starshine. I like that we both look forward to this day. Don’t you?”
Emily — “I’ll look forward to next year more than you can imagine.”
Jocelyn got up and slipped into her jacket. This time it was her that glanced up at the mistletoe. Emily beamed with fascination and excitement as she leaned in and her lips touched Jocelyn’s. In that impassionate moment that stood still, her hands roamed up and down Jocelyn’s back. Soft graces of the lips soon became enamored passion and time was lost to the two of them.
Jocelyn pulled back and planted a kiss on Emily’s forehead.
Jocelyn — “Merry Christmas, starshine. I’ll see you next year.”
With that, Jocelyn left the apartment and Emily sat down at her couch wondering how she could wait the whole year for her. Flipping through the envelope on the coffee table, she realized Jocelyn had left more than enough money to cover her fleeting financial needs for the next few months. With a mixture of sadness and pleasant memory, she lulled herself off to sleep.
A week or so past and Christmas was virtually upon Emily. She heard a knock at the door. When she answered the door, nobody was there but a single wrapped box rested on the door mat. When she opened the gift, she found a full set of the tree ornaments she had been missing from her collection.
Year Three and Four
Tales could be told of Jocelyn’s visits for the next two years. They volunteered together for “Operation Christmas Child” on their third visit. They wrapped and delivered gifts to deserving and happy families that were down on their luck. On the fourth year, the two of them went on a surprise carriage ride through the park they strolled through a couple years before.
Emily was certain that this would be all that became of their Christmas flings. She never expected how it might turn out. While the years past, she had enrolled in classes to become an accountant. Emily was pondering her future and wanted to find a new vocation for herself that could last for the remaining career of her life. Her time was nigh in the business and knew that she would soon need to move on in her life. She didn’t know how to break the news to Jocelyn.
Year Five
Emily had enrolled herself in classes and bought all of her books. She had set a little money aside for a rainy day, but it had become her custom to earn just enough to get by. Emily had very modest wants, and her daughter was by no means jealous or selfish, but Emily wanted to provide for her daughter in all ways possible offering her the childhood that Emily reluctantly admitted wasn’t as privileged in her own.
Samantha got very sick in March of the fifth year of the anniversary of Jocelyn and Emily’s first meeting. The doctors determined Samantha had a rare heart defect that had never been diagnosed until that day. The doctors rued missing the anomaly in earlier years, as it may have been preventable and her suffering may have been minimized, but they now needed to begin treatment of an invasive and exorbitant nature.
These operations would not be covered by Emily’s insurance or by the government sponsored programs of coverage. The procedures could amount to a queen’s ransom. There simply was no way she could ever hope to afford them. But afford them she must!
Emily withdrew from her classes and returned to working for Tara on a very regular basis. She worked herself to near-death from sunrise to sunset. Tara was getting worried about her friend and decided to take action in a most unusual way.
One May evening, Emily was about to leave her apartment to meet a client. As she opened the door, Jocelyn was standing there readying to knock.
Jocelyn — “Can I come in?”
Emily — “On any other day, I wouldn’t hesitate. But I have a pressing engagement I have to go to, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn — “Tara canceled it for you, starshine.”
Emily — “What? She shouldn’t have done that.”
Jocelyn — “Can we sit and talk? Tara told me all about your predicament.”
Emily and Jocelyn wandered into the kitchen. Emily made some java and poured a mug for the two of them.
Jocelyn — “Your days in this business are done, Emily.”
Emily — “I appreciate what you are saying but it just isn’t possible.”
Jocelyn — “I understand you took yourself out of school.”
Emily — “It wasn’t practical any longer.”
Jocelyn — “I also understand you are working day and night.”
Emily — “Tara’s got a big fricken mouth.”
Jocelyn — “Samantha is at the hospital right now, isn’t she?”
Emily — “Yes and she will be for another month or so.”
Jocelyn — “You almost left the business and went back to school. You almost moved on in your life. You need to provide these treatments for your daughter and you can rest assured that is already taken care of already, Emily.”
Emily — “Taken care of? YOU?”
Jocelyn — “Santa did it. Not me.”
Jocelyn winked at Emily.
Emily — “Jocelyn – I just can’t accept that from you.”
Jocelyn — “But it’s already done. There’s nothing to accept or deny.”
Emily — “Then I’ll spend the rest of my life paying you back.”
Jocelyn — “Which will soon be over if you push yourself like this….in a career you were just about ready to abandon for greener pastures.”
Emily — “How can I possibly accept this lavish gift, Jocelyn? I barely know you.”
Jocelyn took a deep breath. She paused for a careful moment.
Jocelyn — “Then marry me. This Christmas. Same day as usual.”
Jocelyn got down on one knee looking up with a hint of fear in her eyes. She was worried she was making a fool of herself and her expression betrayed that aversion.
Jocelyn — “Will you marry me Emily?”
Emily simply kneeled down in front of Jocelyn with tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. As they embraced on the tiled floor of the kitchen, they melted into each other’s arms. Emily took Jocelyn’s hand and brought her to the bedroom she had never before seen.
Emily backed down the hall as she led Jocelyn down the hall to her bedroom. Emily’s smile was infecting Jocelyn and the nervousness they may have experienced wilted away into nothing. As they entered the room lit only by the pale moonlight escaping inside through the Venetian blinds, Emily flicked on the stereo letting loose some soft music. Slowly they paced their way towards the bed and the two women pounced onto the mattress with a bounce of the springs. Both women giggled as they pulled each other into their welcoming arms.
Jocelyn took the first brave step. The two lovers closed their eyes and sighed as their lips touched. A soft wet kiss sent waves of anticipation through both of their bodies. Jocelyn’s hands wandered up and down Emily’s back. Firm strength held Emily close to her body as the lover’s clothed breasts pressed into each other. Their erect, sensitive nipples rubbed against the fabric of their clothing and each other sending quakes of passion rippling through their bodies.
Jocelyn nimbly found the zipper of Emily’s dress and the sound of the zipper as it was pulled down slowly echoed through the heart of Emily. In that moment, she realized she had finally found someone to love and cherish her as much as she wanted to reciprocate. Emily felt an attraction unparalleled for this woman that was gently beginning to undress her.
Emily felt the cool air of the room bite into her bare skin as the dress fell open at her back. Jocelyn eased the garment over Emily’s shoulders as she continued to let her lips dance over Emily’s. Further and further the dress was taken down until Emily maneuvered her feet through the top of the dress and kicked it off across the room.
Emily pulled back from her lover for a moment and Jocelyn took that as a signal to slow down. Not only was she wrong in that detection, she felt alarmed as Emily suddenly pinned her down on the bed. Emily scaled Jocelyn’s athletic frame and smiled devilishly as she painstakingly opened each of the buttons on the satin blouse before her. As Jocelyn’s ample breasts were revealed in the pale moonlight of the room, Emily bit her lips. As she gazed on the sizeable breasts, Emily felt a desire to devour them for the first time in her adult sexual life. She had never been so desirous of a person.
Jocelyn smiled warmly up at her now dominant lover as she helped Emily remove the satin blouse from her body. Emily eased her way further down Jocelyn’s shapely body as she took hold of her knee length skirt. As the garment was wiggled over Jocelyn’s toned muscles and broad hips, Emily took in the sight of Jocelyn’s long legs. In a flash of inspiration, Emily felt a powerful desire to have these legs wrapped around her body.
A mischievous smile crept onto Jocelyn’s face as she flashed a wink at Emily. With a shriek, Emily was flipped over onto her back as the two women in their lingerie fell on top of one another. Jocelyn practically tackled the smaller, more petite woman and exerted all her strength to pin her down. Jocelyn was by no means heavy, but she was taller, bolder, and in better athletic shape. As she let her weight fall upon Emily, she began to let her lips caress her lover. Jocelyn’s tongue darted between Emily’s lips and their tongues lashed against each other in their warm mouths.
Jocelyn’s ever moving fingertips found the front clasp on Emily’s bra. Jocelyn imagined for a moment that Emily never would have thought of how this bra would be removed by her Christmas lover tonight. Jocelyn admitted she never would have suspected this turn of events, but she was pleasantly surprised with Emily’s reaction to her overtures. As the bra spilled open, Jocelyn’s lips descended over Emily’s neck. When Jocelyn’s voracious lips touched the hollow of Emily’s obviously sensitive neck, she heard a murmur of approval filling the room. Jocelyn smiled inwardly as her lips trailed over the bare skin of Emily’s upper chest and moved further down to her juicy breasts.
Jocelyn looked upon the breasts up close and personal hoping desperately these breasts would be the only ones she would ever need again. She had sought out the perfect mate for so long and was convincing herself with every sultry moment that transpired that she had found her. Jocelyn’s lips worshipped the bulging sides of Emily’s chest as her ravishing hands moved up to cup them. Jocelyn’s lips took hold of the tiny pink nipple that stood at attention before her eyes. As her tongue poked out between her lips, she ran it over Emily’s nipple. Both of Jocelyn’s strong hands massaged the bulk of Emily’s breasts as the room became alive with the music of love.
Emily was lost in this moment of euphoria. Somehow in the midst of her undying pleasure, she exerted some measure of control over her own masterminded agenda. Her tiny fingers reached behind Jocelyn and fumbled with the clasp on her bra. As it snapped open, the elasticity of the straps made them fly open. Pulling the straps forward, Jocelyn cooperated and the bra was soon tossed across the room into a corner.
Mercifully, Jocelyn realized her lover’s desire for her breasts. Jocelyn pushed herself further up Emily’s body and let her breasts come close to the warm breaths emitting from the smaller woman. Emily pounced upon the objects of her desires. Suckling at the first nipple with firm lips, Jocelyn suddenly felt the insatiable power of Emily’s love. Her tiny hands grasped Jocelyn’s large breasts and fondled them with a mesmerized wonder as she continued to suckle at the nubs of pleasure. Jocelyn could feel the heat growing between her thighs as she started to grind her thighs into Emily.
Emily felt Jocelyn pull back from her and feigned a little disappointed pout. When she realized Jocelyn was planting little kisses down her stomach every few centimeters as she approached her inner thighs, she let that pout fade from her face. Emily’s legs involuntarily parted as Jocelyn aptly and rapidly removed Emily’s panties. Exposed before Jocelyn’s rapt eyes was a shaven, bare pussy that was delightful just to view. Emily’s labia was a beauty unmatched in Jocelyn’s sexual life. Perfectly formed and looking entirely delicious, Jocelyn had to resist diving in for the final resting place of her lips.
Jocelyn let her lips kiss along the inner thighs of Emily. Jocelyn witnessed the quivering of Emily’s thighs as they involuntarily spread before her lover. Jocelyn eased her hands underneath Emily’s body and took hold of her lover’s petite bottom. Taking a firm hold of each of the smaller woman’s cheeks, Jocelyn let her tongue dart out with serpentine flicks along the raised flaps of Emily’s pussy. The tip of her tongue ran up and down each of the lips of Emily’s pussy and delighted at the moisture and warmth already escaping Emily. The almost agonized sounds of Emily as her body flailed under Jocelyn’s firm hold encouraged her aggressive response. Jocelyn’s tongue plunged inside of Emily letting it spin with delight in the pink canal of her lover.
Emily screamed out filling the house with the acknowledgement of bliss. Her hips pressed forth into Jocelyn’s face as she continued to thrust her tongue inside Emily’s womanhood. As her tongue ran along the tunnel of Emily’s pussy, Jocelyn moved her hands from Emily’s gorgeous bum up and around to the hood of her clit. Exposing the agitated, sensitive epicenter of pleasure, Jocelyn eased her lips up to engorge the clit in her mouth. As she enveloped Emily’s clit in her mouth, Emily erupted in a litany of almost incomprehensible strings of words. Her moans became shrill and piercing. Her spasms of her lower body were nearly uncontrollable.
As Emily’s arousal reached its zenith, Jocelyn was rewarded with a spurt of Emily’s cum. Emily later admitted she had never came like that before (although she did many times in the future). Jocelyn looked up from between Emily’s thighs and continued to lap at every droplet of Emily’s tasty juices until her body settled into the mattress. It took several minutes for Emily to calm and relax and at first Jocelyn thought the soporific effect of intense orgasms may have lulled her lover off to sleep.
Emily did open her eyes, however, and grin at Jocelyn. Flipping Jocelyn over onto her back with surprisingly renewed strength and fortitude, Emily straddled Jocelyn’s shapely legs. Slowly she eased Jocelyn’s satin panties down her legs and off of her body. Unsure of herself, she still hadn’t exactly planned out in her head her plan of attack. Somehow she wanted to kiss the damp lips of her lover.
Emily climbed up to Jocelyn’s lips as she tasted her own cum on the lips of her lover. She knew that she would want to taste Jocelyn’s own nectar later, but for now she had decided that she wanted the both of them to achieve an orgasm together. Easing one of her slender legs over top of Jocelyn’s, she soon discovered their shaven pussies felt perfect when they glided together. Like a jig saw puzzle piece that fit together snugly and perfectly, the two women started to graze their throbbing lips against one another.
Both women felt their eyes rolling back into their heads. The outside world was tuned off as their hips started to move together at the same frantic pace. Their breasts pressed against each other as their kisses became undying passionate.
The two women came violently and virtually at the same time. Jocelyn felt a rush of her nectar spouting out between her lips and gripped onto the bedspread. Howling out along with her lover, Emily snapped out of her trance as she sacrificed the aftermath of her own orgasm as she lowered her face between Jocelyn’s legs. Tasting the dripping juices at the petals of Jocelyn’s pussy, she sampled the tastiest concoction known to humankind.
As Emily continued to savor Jocelyn’s juices, Jocelyn finally pulled her lover up into her arms. The two women collapsed into each other knowing there would be so much more time to explore each other’s bodies. They had so many needs to explore with each other. They had both needed this release for a very long time.
While this episode was tame in relation to their many nights of passion in the ensuing sexually charged years, this first night together remained paramount in their sexual memories. As their panting bodies melted into one another, Jocelyn realized that Emily’s answer to her proposal was a resounding yes.
Neither could stay apart for long for the ensuing months. Plans were made for the wedding. Samantha soon came home and met Jocelyn when she came to visit. It seemed Jocelyn brought a different “Pookie” — Samantha’s endearing name for stuffed animals of different sizes, shapes, and species — and she built a connection with her. By the end of the year, Jocelyn was living in the apartment in which they had first met.
And on that anniversary of their first date, the two newlyweds fled the church for a romantic trip to Venice. When the bouquet was tossed, it was Tara that caught the bundle of flowers.
Epilogue
I have been asked in the years that have past about the authentic sources of happiness in life. At times, my answers have varied. In the last few, my answer has always the same. Love and Christmas will probably be the greatest founts of joy in my humble opinion. It is fortune to those that can combine the two in very meaningful, lasting ways.
Merry Christmas — when it comes — to all of you.