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Stars, Sulfur, and the Taste of Ash

Category: Gay Male
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I looked down between my shoes. I could see a candy wrapper and an empty firecracker casing floating in the dirty puddle between them. I reached down and picked them up, tossing them into an empty bag with the few kernels of kettle corn that I hadn’t finished.

It had been raining regularly, but it hadn’t cooled anything down. Instead, each shower had been followed by wet searing heat, and a sullen yellow sun. I pitied the high school kids in their stiff red and black uniforms, their sweaty cheeks puffed with the effort of belting out a lusterless Sousa march.

The parade was outside my house, and I had watched the entire thing. The last group, a girl scout troop throwing out bubblegum, was already a block ahead. The listless spectators were getting up. Folding lawn-chairs and gathering up bags and picking up trash and corralling squalling kids.

I sighed and looked back down to the puddle. I wiped my hair out of my eyes, and rubbed my cheek. I needed to shave. All I could grow was dark fuzz that didn’t match my lighter hair.

“Jamie? Hey, Jamie Moss, is that you?”

I was startled. I didn’t have any friends back home, who here would know my name? I whirled around and felt my stomach sink very slightly when I saw Tricia Stevenson bouncing towards me.

“How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever!” For good reason. The faint rosy smell of her shampoo brought back unpleasant memories. It wasn’t her fault though, I guess.

“Pretty good Trish, what’s up with you?”

It felt strange to sit here and just talk with somebody. I hadn’t done much since I got home. I worked forty hours a week or more at my shitty job at Burger King. I went and saw movies on my own. I took long walks with my dog. I realized that this was the first real conversation I had held with somebody other than my parents since I had gotten back from college.

Despite being a little uncomfortable at first, I relaxed. This was nice. This was really nice.

After a small break in the conversation, she looked at me and asked, “What are you doing for the fourth?”

It felt like a loaded question. Like she was waiting with bated breath to hear my answer. I just shrugged. “Go home, watch Independence Day, I might see some fireworks with my folks.”

She shook her head, sending her unruly tawny hair flying everywhere. “Nuh-uh. You can’t. See if you can bail, and then you can come party with us.”

A dozen knee-jerk excuses flew through my head. I even opened my mouth to voice them. But then I shut my mouth and reconsidered. She could see how hesitant I was, and she flushed bright red.

“Jamie?” She took a deep breath. “I just wanna be friends. We can just forget about what happened before you left? Please? I really miss you.”

I thought about it for a moment. I looked down between my shoes to the fast-drying puddle

“Let me call my parents.” I murmured. “Tell ’em where I’m going?”

She grinned so wide that her dimples cut into her cheeks.

It turned out that Tricia had made a lot of friends while I was gone. One of them lived out in the country near a bank of fireworks that were going off at ten. Since it was private property, we could have the entire place to ourselves while the fireworks went off. Her friend was having a party in his backyard.

I drummed my fingers on the hard plastic armrest. My stomach felt like it had crumpled into a tiny ball. Tricia was in the passenger’s seat, I was in the back with a bright-eyed chubby girl named Vicky, and her friend Steven was driving.

We couldn’t have been more than ten feet from the car in front of us.

My stomach lurched as Steven turned around to talk to Vicky, we were listing to the left, into the opposing lane of traffic.

“Steven!” I yelped.

He looked lazily to the front, one hand on the wheel. He lurched back into his lane, making my stomach twist and jump.

I closed my eyes tightly and felt how the cotton candy I had bought at the parade was reacting uncomfortably in my stomach. I tried to shake off the sickening sensation of impending death and looked out the window,

We had been driving for maybe half an hour, always at least fifteen miles above the speed limit. I saw nothing but corn and soybeans as far as the eye could see. Every now and then, a wide field spotted with black cows, or massive rolls of hay.

I was contemplating how angry my mom would be if I called her and begged for a ride. I didn’t want to get in a go-cart with Steven ever again, much less a car.

I glared at the back of his head. At the peeling red skin I could see between the pale orangey-blonde bristles. While I was at it, I glared at Tricia’s tawny tangle. It was all her fault that I was here.

I stretched my legs and shielded my eyes with my hand to get a good look at the house. The glare from the setting sun was orange and sharp.

The place was surrounded by a windbreak of cottonwoods. There was a barn, but no animals. It was just a garage for what looked like half a dozen rusty vehicles, plus some farming equipment that actually looked new and usable.

The long driveway had four cars in it. I could see a bunch of shadows flickering around the massive conflagration in the backyard, at the edge of the shoulders-high corn.

We moved around back, and I could see them more clearly. Six or seven people, surrounding the fire. One girl was holding a bottle of what looked like rum and dressed only in her shorts and a bikini top. All of the guys were shirtless.

I felt my eyes linger on the muscles under the skin of one of the boys. His pectorals bunched and lengthened in an alive way as he lifted the rum bottle to his mouth for a moment. I saw bubbles sink up through the clear liquid, and I saw a rivulet go down his chin.

I looked back down at the scruffy grass and walked over to the fire. Now that I was out of the car, I was smiling. I couldn’t shake off the sweet chemical elation of being out of that car. The mix of adrenaline and endorphins was intoxicating enough as it was.

I sat down and the boy with the muscular chest handed me the rum bottle. “Welcome stranger, who are you?”

Tricia sat down between us on the scruffy grass. “This is my friend from high school, Jamie! Jamie, this is Jake. This is his house.”

She took the rum bottle from Jake and took a swig. I didn’t look at his face for more than a second. I’ve never been very good at looking people in the eye. But I got an impression of straight low brows and blue laughing eyes and a wry but achingly full mouth. I glanced back up at his lips for a split second just to justify my first impression. They were very sensuous and full, pink. There was something very… very sexual about his mouth that was hard to ignore.

I looked back down and took the rum bottle from Tricia to take a gulp. It burned my throat on the way down. Tricia jabbered on between us, and I was grateful. It took the pressure off.

It was about seven when we got to the place. And an hour and a few shots later, I was starting to feel fuzzy.

The road just outside of the farm was lousy with cars. Cars hurrying to the grassy lot and the field where they would watch the fireworks. The farm was strung up with NO TRESPASSING signs, but the occasional car still tried to park and unload onto the private property to watch the fireworks.

I say tried, because whenever it happened Jake would go over and talk to them. Never raising his voice. He managed to evict every one. They walked away looking exasperated and frustrated. He was very professional about it. Unlike some of his drunk party guests who just hollered at the trespassers.

I shouldn’t have been looking at him, but I couldn’t stop. I had a bad crush, and I tried to quash it however I could. He was sitting on the other side of Tricia, and that helped. But sometimes he moved. Sometimes he went over to the pile of broken pallets to tear off another board to feed to the fire. I could see his muscular lower back in the light of the fire and the setting sun.

I wasn’t just fuzzy. I was buzzed. I shouldn’t have been there. It was dangerous.

Tricia put her hand on my knee.

She had been doing it all evening. Brushing up against me, touching me, laughing hard at whatever I said, joke or otherwise. The scent of desperation came off of her in waves. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to embarrass her, but whenever I shrugged off her hand, she just put it back on me as soon as she could. I just gave up eventually.

It was easier.

My hands were on her shoulders, her thin sunburned shoulders. I could feel the straps of her tank top. I was confused. Was I holding her? Or pushing her away?

Her lips were against mine, tasting like limes and rum and sour watermelon lip gloss. Her tongue tried to work into my mouth and I pushed it out with my tongue. I pushed her away, feeling disgusted. I was drunk. I was way too drunk.

Her hand was on my crotch, trying to feel through my jeans. I pushed the hand away and then I was pushing her head away as she tried to lower it to my crotch.

“Tricia!” I spat, pushing her away.

It was cold and it was dark. The sweaty heat had turned cool and humid after the sunset. We were at the edge of the cornfield, sitting on a big glacial boulder. She had brought me here easily, telling me that she needed to ask me something. I felt disgusted that I had fallen for it. And disgusted by the pathetic way she kept trying.

“Stop it.” I pushed her away hard enough so that she nearly fell off of the rock.

“Jamie? What’s wrong?” She couldn’t suppress the whine in her voice. I gritted my teeth as she drew out the last word in a pathetic bleat.

“I don’t want to.” I grunted. I got up to go back to the fire. I wobbled unsteadily. I hated how drunk I was. Any nice feelings had long since been replaced with feelings of depression and weariness.

She was crying. It wasn’t kind or levelheaded of me. But I hated her right then. I wanted to call her a squealing cunt. I wanted to call her a brainless bitch. A desperate slut. I hated her.

“Why not! Y-You… You’ve been snuggling with me all night asshole!”

I gritted my teeth. “You’ve been hanging over me. There’s a difference.”

I started to walk back. “What about before? You used to be my boyfriend, when did you become such an asshole?”

That was too much. Just too fucking much.

I turned on my heels. “Boyfriend?” My outraged voice cracked on the last syllable, but I didn’t care. I was so furious. “We were FRIENDS. You got me drunk and sucked me off before I puked. After I told you I was gay. And then I went to college. How fucking de– How fucking deluded are you? You stupid–!!”

I was going to say bitch. But I couldn’t finish. Not with the screwed up look on her face. I just turned around and wove back to the fire, feeling like the worst person in the world, and feeling queasy. I thought I was going to puke.

They had a rain barrel at the side of their house. The roof gutters emptied into it. Very eco-friendly, but I wasn’t concerned about gardening or lawn mowing. I was just interested in the big plastic barrel full of rainwater.

I put my hands on the rim and dunked my head in the water. It was so shockingly cold that I yelled under the water and got some in my nose. I dunked my head three more times and shook like a dog.

Water ran down the back of my shirt, cooling the sticky sweat between my shoulder blades, trickling into my hot armpits.

I looked down at the barrel. The water was brownish, with leaves floating in it. It smelled earthy. I dunked my head in it again, and tried to see how long I could hold my breath. It was quiet down here, calm. Noises were muffled and softened, filtered through the water.

I exhaled slowly, feeling the bubbles tickle my cheeks and forehead on the way up.

A rough hand grabbed my shirt, right in the middle of my back, and pulled me out.

It was as rough and rude of an awakening as being born. I gasped in the cool night air and promptly fell on my butt in the long grass.

“What the hell?” I sputtered, wiping water out of my eyes.

I opened my eyes and promptly shut up, looking down. It was Jake. Standing over me, glaring, holding one hand to his chest. Somewhere, he had gained a t-shirt. It was black, with a smiley-face on it.

“Jesus fucking Christ, were you trying to drown yourself?”

His voice was hard and low. I shook my head back and forth, realizing what it must have looked like. “M’sorry.” I mumbled, wiping my eyes. The water helped, but I was still out of it.

He held out a hand and I tentatively took it. He pulled me up so fast that I got dizzy.

“Crashing?” He asked sympathetically. I nodded, keeping my eyes at knee level. “Here then, lets go inside and I can get you some water.”

“The fireworks…” I trailed off. I realized that I didn’t care if I caught the start of them. I just wanted a drink, and then I wanted to lie down, sleep it off.

“What was that?” He asked softly. I looked up and caught a glimpse of his blue eyes and full lips before looking back down.


No one was inside. The door had stayed unlocked, but people only went inside to grab a drink or use the bathroom. Now we had it to ourselves.

The water was icy cold, and it tasted like minerals, almost metallic. It was delicious. I drank until a dull spike of pain lodged behind my eyes, a painful cold headache.

“You okay?”

He was standing on the other side of the kitchen, a mere ten feet away. Leaning on the counter and peeling an orange. I watched his nails bite into the ripe orange flesh and tear off a thick peel, a little juice squirting from the cut he had made into the membrane itself.

I took another drink once the headache faded. “Yeah.” I said quietly. “I think I’m coming down from it. I shouldn’t have had that much to drink.”

He laughed softly and offered me an orange slice. I took it and held it, but didn’t eat it yet. “You must be a bit of a lightweight… You didn’t have the bottle that much. Tricia had at least half again as much as you did. She still seems to be functioning okay.”

I felt sick at the mention. I had treated her like shit. I wanted to go back and apologize, but a cowardly part of me just never wanted to talk to her again. I popped the orange slice into my mouth. The juice was shockingly sweet and acidic.

He tore off another slice and tossed it to me. To my surprise, I managed to catch it.

“I’m gonna get a smoke out in the field. Wanna come with? It might do you some good to stay away from the party for a bit.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to go back to the fire. “Yeah, and the fireworks are gonna start any minute now.”

I followed him out. His t-shirt was too tight, and I could see the outline of his muscles through the back. It was exciting to watch. I could feel my mouth getting dry. He was half a foot taller than me, and so much bigger.

I ate the other orange slice he had given me, and it helped a little.

The sky was a dark bowl of stars, and there was no sign of the fireworks yet.

The corn stalks were thick, and hard to push through. Each individual stalk was as thick as my wrist, and almost as tough as wood. I thought that we would be able to part the stalks like grass, but we ended up just standing near the edge of the field while he smoked his cigarette. He inhaled, and the ember lit up his cheeks and eye sockets. His face looked hollow and skull-like for a moment, and then the ember faded and I couldn’t see him. It was so dark. The sky was dark, the moon was new, and we were far away from the bonfire or the streetlights. The only light was his little red ember.

I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. But that was alright. I felt relaxed for the first time all night.

“Want one?” He asked softly, offering a cigarette.

I wanted to take it, but I’d never smoked before. I shook my head, and realized that he probably couldn’t see me. “No thanks. I don’t smoke.”


I moved slightly. I just wanted to upwind of the smoke. My feet tangled in a fallen cornstalk and I lurched to the ground.

Or I would have, if he hadn’t grasped my wrist and pulled me up. My head was spinning and I still wobbled after being pulled up. I started laughing. A shaky giggle of relief.

He chuckled. “Careful. You have had a lot.” He was so close, still holding my wrist. I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or not when he pressed my hand against the crotch of his jeans.

I could feel something hard and hot and throbbing through two layers of cloth.

“What?” I whispered. I looked up at him and he still had a cigarette butt between his lips. The glowing ember lit up his blue eyes into a strange deep purple-grey. He let go of my wrist and pinched the butt out.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. He started walking back towards the fire, just as my brain started to realize what had happened.

No. I couldn’t let him get back to the fire.

Despite the alcohol, my cock was swelling. I could feel it straining against my tight underwear and nylon shorts. I walked quickly after him. He was nothing but a dark shape against the dim light of the fire on the other side of the house.

When I caught up to him, I shied away. I knew what I wanted. And I wanted it so badly. But I didn’t know what to do.

“Jake.” I murmured. He turned around, surprised to find me right behind him.

I tucked my head out of sheer instinct, but I forced my line of sight back up. I looked into the darkness where I knew his face was. The dim firelight lit up random dark hairs on his head, and the tanned skin on his neck. But his face was unreadable. Unseeable.

“Jake.” My voice was hesitating, numb.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He sounded ashamed.

I shook my head so quickly that I got dizzy. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t find the words. So frustrated and terrified and horny.

I reached for his shoulders, and I rested my hands on them. Carefully, as if he were a wild animal that might bite. I tightened my grip, and felt the way the muscles moved under his shirt and under his skin.

I aimed my face for his. My lips touched his chin first, but I moved up and pressed my lips to his.

I broke away, shaking. I had never done anything like that ever. He was perfectly still for a moment.

“Jake?” My face was flushed. My legs felt shaky. I was having a hard time breathing. My lips were wet from his saliva. I had been rough enough to force open his lips.

He was moving. His hands were on either side of my head, and then we were kissing harder. Our teeth clicked together, and then his tongue was in my mouth. I could taste his cigarettes. It was like his mouth was on fire. I could taste something bitter, and minty. I couldn’t place what it was.

I could barely breathe.

He broke and I gasped. My lips felt swollen, bitten. My cock was so hard, I felt like I could come at a touch.

“The corn.” He whispered. He was walking, and I was stumbling backwards. I nodded, and turned and sprinted for the corn. I couldn’t get there fast enough, and he was behind me.

I could hear his feet hitting the weedy lawn. I felt like I was running away from him, but I was going slow enough. I wanted him to catch me.

Into the cornfield, forcing my way through the woody stalks. I could hear him behind me, and I was running. Running to lead him, running so I could be caught.

I nearly stumbled. I was in a rut. A place where the corn was parted, trampled and pushed aside like the hairline of a giant.

He crashed behind me, and I tensed up for an impact, turning around to meet him. It was so dark. I couldn’t see a thing but a dust-grey fringe where the tips of the corn met the sky.

Then his hands were on my shoulders, pushing me gently, but firmly down. My knees buckled, and I knelt in front of him, looking up, barely able to see the pillar of his body against the sugarcoat of stars.

Then I saw a sliver of light in the sky, and the first firework went off.

The explosion made me flinch, and Jake’s head was haloed by a massive red corona. I could see his face, and the lust.

I reached for his crotch, tentatively. I didn’t know what to do. I was even more surprised when he got to his knees as well. We were on the same level, kneeling. He stripped his shirt off, and I could see his defined muscles in the fading red light of that first firework. Then his muscles were outlined in blue, and then in brilliant magnesium white.

He gave me his balled up shirt. I took it, confused. He cupped his hand behind my head and gave me a kiss that bruised my lips and made me lightheaded. I moaned through my nose and thrust my tongue into his mouth, where he bit it gently.

We were so close. I didn’t hear his first word because of an explosion of yellow sparks above our heads, but I caught most of it.

“–behind your head, so you’re more comfortable.”

With that, he pushed me to the ground, lying on top of me as he did. Kissing my stinging lips. His light stubble scraped at my chin and the skin around my mouth. He took his balled up t-shirt from my numb hands and put it behind my head as he finished pushing me down. I could feel the rough ground and prickly grass and weeds under my t-shirt, but my head was cushioned by his.

He broke the kiss. I could smell earth, and sweat, and his body, and sulfurous smoke from the fireworks wafting down.

His head was lifted slightly. His shaggy outline was in profile of three starbursts. One fading, one starting, and one in it’s prime. I could hear the shrill whine as another was launched into the sky.

“You ever done this before?” He panted.

I reached up and touched his chest. I could feel wiry hair in a neat dark triangle on his chest. I could feel his soft perky nipple surrounded by a little nest of more hair. “No.” I whispered.

He didn’t hear me, so I just shook my head. He was grinning crookedly. I felt like I was melting. He was on his hands and knees, his legs straddling my hips and his hands on either side of my head.

“I hope you like it.” He murmured, bending down to kiss me again. He straightened his legs so his crotch was right against my crotch, and he was resting the weight of his lower body against mine.

He was so hard. I could feel his cock. Another man’s cock, pressed into my abdomen.

I whimpered into his lips as I tightened my muscles, pressing my groin further into him. I panted. If I didn’t stop humping him, I would come.

Soft golden waterfalls of sparks trickled down from the sky as Jake wiggled down a little and kissed my chin. He was holding my wrists to my side, so I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but stare wide-eyed at the sky as this sexy man slid down my body.

I stared at a magnesium-white flare, burning my eyes as he slid my t-shirt up. The night air was cold, and his body was hot and hard, sticky with sweat and rough with hair. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, seeing dim red explosions behind the thin caul of skin as I moaned, the sound getting swallowed up by the cacophony above us.

He kissed my tummy, right under my ribcage, right in the center of my chest. He ran kisses down to my navel, where he stuck his tongue inside. I yelped, and remembered reading somewhere, that a fragment of the genital nerve was located in the navel.

He was fumbling with my belt, my zipper.

I could feel the rough ground and prickly grass through my underwear as he yanked my pants down a little. I looked down, and I could see his shaggy head outlined in gold as he gently pressed his lips against the outline of my aching cock through my briefs. I felt him sucking, felt the slight pressure through the cloth, and I whimpered, tensing up tight, clenching my legs and ass.

The night air was cool against my exposed skin. I moved my hands and tangled my fingers in his messy hair. I didn’t want to guide him, I just wanted to feel him.

He pulled down the front hem of my underwear, and I could feel the release of pressure as my cock bounced up and hit my stomach with a near-audible thud. Felt his fingers curl around the base, felt the tug at the base of the pubic hairs as he accidentally pulled a few with his stroking questing fingers.

I looked up at the waves of sparks being shot from the ground. Blue and gold and red and white and green.

I looked down and he was looking at me, licking his sinfully full lips. Then those lips were parting gently around the swollen pink glans of my cock in the brilliant shifting lights of a dozen explosions.

I cried out, and my cry was swallowed by the noise. He was going so slow, his mouth was molten and wet. I whimpered and squirmed and trembled as he licked and sucked me like a lollipop.

I was so close, but it was like he could tell how close I was, because then he slowed down. He withdrew and I felt a cool breeze on my wet cock, chilling it. He stroked my slippery cock, and cradled my soft fuzzy ball sack. I nearly squealed when he squeezed just short of painful.

“Please?” I moaned. “Please Jake.”

I didn’t even know if he could hear me, but then I knew he wouldn’t be able to, because the finale started.

The shadowy corn was lit. A glowing pallet of colors with stark dancing shadows. I could see every hair on his head, feel the tiny burnt pellets of the fireworks pelting us. Feel the explosions shaking my skin and bones and hair follicles. The sky was on fire, and so were my nerve endings.

I arched my back and I screamed. I screamed knowing no one would hear me, except maybe Jake. I was coming into his mouth. I felt like I was being scraped dry. Like everything was draining from my aching cock into his sweet hot mouth.

I went limp, and the sky went dark, but the afterimages danced brightly in my eyes.

A dark shape blotted out the afterimages. His head was floating above mine. He gently kissed my lips, and I could taste my semen. He wasn’t spitting it into my mouth, but letting me taste it.

“Lets go inside.” He whispered, touching the side of my face. His voice was a little sad. “It’s late, and I don’t trust Steven to get you home. You can crash here.”

He helped me up, and I nearly fell over trying to pull my pants up. I hadn’t realized how drunk I was. How drunk I still was.

He led me through the corn, and to the farmhouse. Out of the smoky madness, and into someplace else.

He stopped me in the kitchen and poured a tall cold glass of water. His elbows were green. Grass-stained. He was still naked from the waist up, and I felt guilty and ashamed.

“Your shirt.” I mumbled. I turned to go get it, but he grabbed my elbow.

“Right here, I remembered to grab it.” He was grinning, but his eyes were detached with something. Shame or sadness or regret.

“Drink this. All of it, or you’re gonna get a bitch of a hangover.”

I started to gulp it down like a horse, but then I got cold cramps and a cold headache and I whined low in my throat, leaning heavily against the counter. Feeling miserable and lost. I swore then that I would never get drunk again. Something amazing had happened, but I was too dazed to even register it properly.

His hand was on my shoulder. It soothed me.

“It’s alright. Come on, drink the rest of it.”

I managed to drink the rest of the water and he led me upstairs. I asked him blearily where his parents were, and he said that they were in New York on vacation. Then I was in his room. I barely registered posters of cars and a few movies before collapsing on his double bed, fully clothed.

He laughed very softly. I giggled too, even though I didn’t feel very funny.

He took off my shoes and socks, tucking the socks in the shoes and putting them in line near the doorway. He carefully stripped my zip-up hoodie and t-shirt while I lay facedown in the bed, sliding them off as I made a futile effort to help. He rubbed my back with one hand.

“I have a sexy half-naked boy in my bed.” He joked quietly. I reached out and touched his hand. I felt so tired.

“I’m sorry. I shoulda. I shoulda done you.” I was slurring a little.

He plumped up a pillow and lifted my head with one hand so he could slide the soft pillow under. The pillow felt like a cloud that I was going to sink into.

I heard the door opening. He thought that I was asleep, and he was sneaking out. My suspicions were confirmed as he snapped the light off.

“Don’t!” I bleated. “Please… Please come back?”

The light flicked on and he was sitting on the edge of the bed in a moment. “You okay? Do you need more water?”

“Can you stay here tonight?” I would never have asked that if I wasn’t so drunk.

I could see him smiling. He stripped down to his boxers and turned off the light. A second later, I felt him sliding in behind me. I turned around, and kissed him clumsily.

He tucked my hair out of my eyes. “Jamie? I appreciate the effort. But you are exhausted and drunk. And I’ve taken advantage of you enough for one night. Get some sleep, and see if you still want to make out after the hangover.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right here.”

My eyes drooped, andI snuggled into him.


My head.

My poor head.

My mouth tasted like a small animal had crawled in and died. My limbs ached. My face felt greasy and rough with stubble.

In short, I felt nasty.

I opened my eyes slowly, and Jake’s face was in front of me. His eyes were closed. He was snoring softly. His one arm was slung over my hip. I could see a thin line of drool going from the corner of his mouth to the bedspread, and I smiled, laughing soundlessly.

I managed to roll out of the bed without waking him up.

I looked around. He had a Clockwork Orange poster. An Inception Poster, and a Firefly poster. I didn’t recognize any of the sleek cars.

I slipped out of the partially opened door, and stumbled to the bathroom. I pissed for what felt like a solid minute, and I took a drink of water from the sink. I splashed water on my face and wiped it with a towel before looking up and into the mirror.

My dazed brown eyes were looking back at me.

I was naked from the waist up. I touched the skin right under my navel. It was red from where he had sucked, given me a hickey. It was sensitive. I reached my littlest finger into my navel and pushed, gasping at the sharp unpleasant sensation. It was unpleasant, but it sent a sliver of sensation right to the head of my cock.

Apparently there was a fragment of the genital nerve there. Interesting.

My cheeks flushed, and I felt my cock perk up a little. It had felt much better when the moist tip of his tongue had started that sliver. My nipples had hardened from the sensation. I touched them, and they felt a little sensitive. I had never really played with my nipples before. They felt strange.

I took a deep breath.

My first sexual conquest was sleeping in a room not twenty feet away. I barely knew him. And I had been reeling drunk.

I was still wearing my jeans. I reached in the pocket and checked my phone. Not a single call or text from my parents. One confused poorly spelled text from Tricia.

I didn’t even try to read that one. It was all one text, but so long that it had been sent to my phone in three chunks. I closed my phone and put it back.

I felt guilty digging in his drawers, but my mouth did taste awful. I found a tube of toothpaste. I squeezed a little bit of it onto my finger and brushed my teeth with my fingertip, relishing the minty taste.

Finished with my makeshift sprucing, I quietly padded down the hall to his room. I entered it only to find him sitting up, running his hand through a mussed birdnest of a brown hair. Looking around for me.

“Hey.” He whispered, sleepily. He started to get up, but I moved quickly, wincing at my headache. I sat on the bed and kissed him. I sensed his surprise, and tasted his bad breath. He rested one hand on my shoulder and broke the kiss, blinking with a look of pleasant surprise on his face.

“I see you found the mouthwash. I’m gonna do the same.” He pecked me on the cheek. “Relax, and I’ll be back in a minute?”

“Kay.” I murmured. Lying back down on the bed. My cock was semi-hard in my jeans, aching pleasantly with the memory of last night.

As soon as he was out of the room, I weaseled out of my jeans. I had red lines on my right hip. The seams digging into me as I slept on that side. I rolled my jeans around my creased briefs, and put it on top of my shoes. I got back in the bed, naked and queasy-excited with how daring I was.

I didn’t know how to act, but I didn’t want to lose him. Not after I finally found a gay man who was even willing to touch me.

I could hear the shower running and I pouted. I waited impatiently for the water to stop, and then I got an idea. A crazy idea.

I got up, and tiptoed back to the bathroom. Acutely aware of how naked I was.

I knocked on the door, first timidly, then louder when he didn’t hear me.

“Yeah?” His voice was muffled with water. My cock was so hard. I flinched when it brushed against the cold metal of the doorknob on accident.

“Can I come in?” I blurted.

“Can’t hear you, come in.”

I opened the door and slipped in. The shower wasn’t a stall, but a bathtub with a curtain around it. He poked his dark wet head around the edge of the curtain, and his eyebrows soared so high that they almost disappeared into the shaggy wet fringe of his bangs.

I shrank slightly into the door, using every fiber of restraint not to cover my groin with my hands. I could feel the circle of the doorknob digging into my buttock, and the wood grain of the door on my shoulderblades.

“Can I come in?” I repeated.

I waited for rejection, but he just smiled wide.

“Get in here Jamie.”

It was so dark and close in here. I had imagined more light, but the curtain was opaque, unlike the one I had at home. So it was a lot darker.

I could still see the water coursing down his broad shoulders. Down the shallow divide between his pectoral muscles. Down his flat, slightly defined stomach, dripping off of his thick untrimmed pubic hair and the semi-erect shaft of his heavy cock. He was uncircumcised. I had never seen an uncircumcised cock except for pornography.

He laughed nervously. “Like what you see?” I didn’t see why he was nervous. He was so hot. The way he had cornered me last night, he had to have done it before. He had known that I was gay. Or at least guessed well.

“Yeah. I like it a lot.” Half-breathless with my own daring, I stepped in close, gasping a little as our bodies met. I could feel his groin rubbing against me. I kissed him, and felt the water running down our faces, into my eyes.

I felt his hot tongue, fresh and minty, in my mouth, rubbing against mine. I gently humped my hips, and reached down. I carefully grasped his cock, another man’s cock, for the first time.

I grasped mine as well, and suddenly the whole of my cock was rubbing against his underside. The ultrasensitive tip was pressed against his spongey head.

He was panting heavily. “Jesus Jamie…” He dropped his head and kissed the side of my neck in the shower. I whined softly as he sucked. I nearly came right there as I slowly stroked our cocks together.

He started to get on his knees. When he was down on one I dropped down, too.

“Shouldn’t it be my turn?” I asked, feeling my cheeks flush as the warm water streaked down.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really done this before.” He looked so shy when he said it. I was shocked. I had always thought of myself as sort of submissive, and he had struck me as a dominant type. But now he was kneeling. stroking my cock and looking so unsure.

I shrugged. “Me either.”

He looked at me, his stunned expression mirroring my own. “But I’m a virgin, I only went after you because I was drunk and I heard you say that you were gay to Tricia and I thought you were trying to drown yourself.”

“I’m a virgin, too. I only did what I did because I had a huge crush on you and I was drunk.”

We both started laughing at the same time.

He held his fist out. “Rock-paper-scissors?”

I laughed so hard I had a hard time breathing. I leaned against him, shaking with it. “Who g-goes down? The loser? Or the w-winner?” I choked.

He smiled, and pretended to think about it. “Winner, obviously.”

I held out my fist, still giggling. He got rock, and I got paper.

“I’ve never done this, so don’t blame me if I suck.”

He laughed at my weak pun. And he stood up, slowly stroking his heavy cock. I stayed on my knees, stroking my own, and unsure where to begin.

I wiped my wet hair out of my eyes. I reached out, and he let his hand slip to his side as my hand took over. I was so careful. I mapped out his length with my fingertips. I felt the difference in texture between the soft head and the steely shaft.

I reached out and licked the tip. It was a purely tactile experience. With the shower water, there was no taste. I could feel how rough and soft the tip was. I licked harder, and this time I could taste a bit of slimy precome. It tasted good.

I reached down and cradled his testes. Carefully. They were heavy, and the skin was so soft, scattered with wiry hairs. I squeezed gently.

Now that I had affirmed him, tested him, felt him, I was ready.

I went down on his cock. I felt it pushing at the back of my mouth, and I almost choked. I moaned. I was so horny. I could feel my cock pulsing, but I didn’t touch it. One hand was cradling his balls, and the other was stroking the base of his cock.

He moaned and put his hand on my head. I was glad, water ran down his forearm and kept some of the water out of my eyes.

I choked, feeling his cock at the back of my throat. By forcing myself down, I could feel the head slipping into the back of my throat. I was able to hold it for a few seconds before withdrawing with a weak gag and a cough.

“Oh Jamie… That felt amazing.”

I closed my eyes and did it again. He swore. I could feel him trembling. I liked this. I liked the feeling of submission simultaneous with the sensation of control. I liked his thick cock between my lips, and the taste of his precome.

He pushed my head back, panting. “Sorry!” He mumbled. “I… I didn’t want to come too soon.”

I stood up, hearing my knees pop. I kissed him hard, tasting him, and knowing that he would be able to taste himself on my lips.

“How am I?”

He laughed breathlessly. “Amazing.” He turned around and turned off the water.

“Lets go to the bedroom.” He whispered. “I wanna try something. If it’s okay.”


We were both naked. We both had railspike erections.

He was digging around in his underwear drawer, and I was appreciating his handsome ass flexing as he did. I nearly yelped when he brought out a condom and a small bottle of lubricant.

“I thought you said you were a virgin?” I asked.

He sat on the bed, his cheeks red. “I just kept a condom around in case. And I use the lube when I… Well, when I experiment with this stuff.”


He sighed softly. “This is the problem.” I… I’ve met a few gay guys before. Even a few who were interested. But… But I’m a big guy so they always think… Well, they always think that I like pitching.”

I looked at the lube and condom again.

“You want me to fuck you?” He nodded, smiling sheepishly.

My mouth went dry. I had tried fingering myself a few times, but it always just burned. I had always thought of myself as a bit of a bottom, but now at the thought of screwing his muscular ass…

I looked at him, and the bed. “How do you want to do this?”

He laughed. But I saw relief in his eyes, also, he was a bit unsure.

He crawled onto the bed, looking self-conscious. He knelt and then bent over. He had his arms crossed and he looked back at me nervously. His muscular ass was stuck in the air. It was a very vulnerable open position.

I crawled next to him, and smacked one round cheek. He had an absolutely beautiful ass. He grinned wryly at me and pushed his ass out further, a lustful look on his face.

I got behind him, ignoring the lube and condom for a second. I felt between his legs, and gently caressed his low-slung testes, and his cock. While he was kneeling like this, his cock hung under him like a torpedo. I stroked it a few times, and then I put one hand on each of the rounded muscular globes of his buttocks, stroking them. Pushing them apart.

He had some fine light hair on his buttocks, but in the crease, they were longer and crinkly. Paler than the hair on his head or his bush. I ran one finger slowly from the base of his testes to the dimple above his ass crack, pausing to tease a tiny twitching hole.

He moaned softly and spread his legs a little further apart. It took a bit of courage for me to start, but I had always wanted to do this. And I hoped, in the near future, to have it done to me.

I kissed one cheek, and then the other, then I heard him gasp and felt him tense up as I leaned forward and licked his hole.

To my relief, he tasted clean. I swirled my tongue around the hole, up and down, using one hand to stroke his thick shaft hanging down between his legs as he trembled and made these gasping noises that were just so fucking sexy.

His foreskin was so soft and loose on his cock, I loved stroking him, feeling it slide back and forth. I felt the tip of his cock, and he was slippery with precome.

I pressed my face into his ass, smooshing my nose and plunging my tongue in just as deep as I could. I held my breath and wiggled my tongue in and out, feeling him squirm and hearing him groan my name. Tasting him.

I took a break for air, and I grinned. A complete virgin yesterday, and today I had been able to turn this man into a sexy quivering pile of jelly.

He turned around, and smiled shakily at me. “That was amazing. Please?”

I nipped his sexy buttock. “Please what?”

I was totally turning the table. I was five eight, maybe a hundred and sixty soaking wet. I was domineering this huge muscular boy, and loving every second of it.

“Please fuck me.” He whispered. I grinned. He was loving every second, too.

I put the condom on my aching cock. He was bigger than me, but our cocks were about the same size. Mine was a bit thinner, but we were both about eight inches. I picked up the lube bottle and poured some on my fingers. I played with that little red hole with my fingers, feeling the ring of muscles soften and flex as I relentlessly massaged his sphincter.

I slowly slid one finger in, and his only response was to wiggle around for more.

Two fingers, and he hissed a little. I thrust them in and out, wiggling and massaging the muscles. He was so hot and slippery with the lube. I stroked his ass cheeks as I dribbled more lube on my fingers.

He squirmed. “Please Jamie… I’m so ready for this!”

“Well… As long as you’re sure.”

I got up and poured a lot of lube in my palm. I slicked up my packaged cock, and rubbed the rest into his crack, and into his asshole.

I got on my knees and lined up my cock with his twitching red hole. I leaned over him, My stomach against his sloping back. I got up to his head and I whispered. “Tell me if I’m going too fast, okay?”

He just groaned. “Please Jamie!”

I bit his shoulder to tease him, but I got upright so I could see what I was doing.

I watched, amazed and enraptured, as I pressed hard, and the tip of my cock disappeared inside the twitching ring of his sphincter.

“Oh! Oh God.” He panted, burying his face in his arms. I felt beads of sweat on my forehead. All I wanted to do was grab his thick muscular hips and wear his ass out. Instead, I put my hands on his lower back and carefully slid the tip of my cock in and out, trying to get him used to the sensation of opening and closing.

It was me who yipped and moaned as he thrust back with his hips. His hot tight ass enveloped about three inches of my dick. I nearly came, and he barked with the pain.

I playfully slapped his shoulder. “Not so fast Baby.” I leaned over and pressed my cheek against the writhing muscles of his back. I pushed in slowly, moaning, and feeling his feathery-quick heartbeat through his back. I was doing my best not to hurt him, and he kept crying out. His cries sounded sexy, not hurt.

After the first few awkward strokes, I developed a rhythm. After a few more strokes, I kissed his shoulder. “I’m in all the way Jake… This feels amazing.”

He wanted it rougher. So I gave it to him rougher.

He cried out into the fabric as I pounded in and out of him.

I couldn’t stand it for a minute longer. I reached around his waist and clumsily fondled his cock. I gasped as I came, and I felt his cock spasm in my hand as I did. The come slicked up my hand even as I continued to pump in and out for a few more strokes.

He went limp, belly-down on the bed. I rolled onto my back and got rid of the saggy condom. I took a few deep breaths, before snuggling into Jake.

He yawned and turned so he was facing me. He gave me a bear hug that squeezed all of the air out of me. Then I turned around and he spooned me, surrounding me with warmth and his big comfortable bulk.

“When we wake up? Do you wanna go get lunch or something?” He asked sleepily.

I agreed, and he was snoring in a moment.


I was going out to get lunch with this sexy submissive hunk of a man.

Lunch meant that it wasn’t over.

I rested my head on his big meaty bicep and closed my eyes with a big smile on my face.

I could get used to this.

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