I always thought that Jessica had a beautiful body, although I tried my best to pretend not to notice. I was 24 then, and she was 21. We’d met at church 5 years earlier, and had been best friends from the beginning. Jess was one of those “comfortable with her body” people, which made it difficult for me to pretend I wasn’t attracted to her on some level.
Anytime we were at her house, she found some reason to undress, leaving me feeling awkward, and trying to desperately fix my gaze on something other than her. I was a church girl, and church girls weren’t supposed to think the things I thought while trying not to look.
“So are you gonna stay over tonight or what,” she said while pulling a black tank top up over her head. “My grandparents are gonna be gone until Sunday, so we’ll have the house ALL to ourselves…and you know what THAT means.”
I could tell she expected me to answer. And, I would have. But, I honestly had no idea what that was supposed to mean. I pulled my eyes away from the magazine I was pretending to read, and focused intently on her face, trying to ignore her exposed breasts just below.
“THAT means we can do whatever we want, sleep in the den, and my grandmother won’t be around to bug us all night.”
She quickly sat on the bed opposite me, and positioned her hands in the classic prayer posture, imploring me to not let her down.
“You gonna stay?”
Was I going to stay? I was undecided. I had to work early the next morning, and knew that if I stayed the night, I’d get no sleep. It was hard to resist her begging, though. I’d been feeling guilty about dodging her invitations to hang out on the weekends. Between that, and the fact that I knew she didn’t like being alone at night, I felt I didn’t really have much of a choice.
“I GUESS so,” I said, feigning indifference. She didn’t buy my apathy.
She leaned in quickly to give me a hug, her breast brushing against my arm.
“Whoo! We’re gonna have so much fun.”
She jumped up fast, finished changing clothes and bolted out the bedroom door. Instead of following her, I lay back on the bed and shut my eyes. I was tired. It was only 10 o’clock but I was already counting down the hours until I had to wake up.
“You wanna watch a movie,” I heard her yell from the kitchen. A movie….no. Not now.
“Sure,” I said without much conviction. “Pick out whatever you want, but I’m warning you I’ll probably fall asleep!”
I got up from the bed and moved to the dresser. Our spontaneous slumber parties were so frequent, I’d kept spare pajamas at Jess’s house for years. I opened the bottom drawer, and rustled through the barrage of assorted t-shirts, shorts and panties. I chose what I thought would be the most comfy and headed to the bathroom to change. I met up with her in the doorway, just in time to see her eyes roll to the ceiling.
“Kelly, I’ve told you a thousand times…you don’t have to go the bathroom every time you change clothes. I don’t care if you change in front of me.”
Whereas Jessica had drawn the card of the leggy blonde at birth, I hadn’t been so fortunate. Instead, I drew the card of the chubby girl with the pretty face, and at that time in life, was painfully self-conscious of my body. In fact, during all the time we’d spent together, Jessica had never seen me naked; something that seemed to almost offend her.
“And, I’ve told you a thousand times,” I said, giving her the sweetest look I could muster, “I’ll be right back.”
With that, I stuck out my tongue and headed for the bathroom. Although Jessica was always telling me how beautiful she thought I was, I didn’t buy it. I brushed her flattery off to my best friend in the world, trying to make me feel good about myself. She was supposed to tell me those things. So, I ignored them.
“You’re gonna love this movie,” I heard her shout. “It’s one I’ve wanted to see for a while, but could never watch when my grandparents were home.”
Naturally, that got my attention.
“I taped it from HBO about a month ago…I think I told you about it.”
I made my way back to her room, and tossed my clothes in a corner. I felt her presence behind me before I felt her whisper in my ear.
“I said I think I told you about it.”
I turned around to find her standing close, her face inches away from mine.
“What movie is it?”
She wiggled her eyebrows up and down a little while answering, “Better Than Chocolate. That lesbian movie.”
“Ewwww,” I said in mock disgust. “You really wanna watch that? You want to watch lesbian porn?”
“It’s not lesbian porn,” she said, hitting me with one of the pillows she was carrying out the room. “It’s a love story, and I’ve heard it’s good. It just happens to be about two women.”
I picked up the remaining two pillows from the bed and followed her out the door.
“You can say it’s not lesbian porn if you want…but, if there are two women doing the nasty…I reserve the right to call it lesbian porn.”
I hated to admit it, but I suddenly wasn’t tired. As a matter of fact, I was probably pretty perky. I’d always wondered what it would be like to watch two women having sex. Although I tried my best to fight it, the idea had always appealed to me. Maybe I wouldn’t regret my lack of sleep in the morning, after all.
While she pulled out the sofa bed, I grabbed some blankets from the hall closet. In five minutes, the bed was made, the movie was starting, and Jessica was beginning to take off her shirt. I’d forgotten about that part. She had a habit of sleeping in the nude, and just a week earlier, had convinced me to start doing the same thing. She looked at me as though to ask what I was waiting for.
“Take it off, girl.”
I paused for a moment. I didn’t feel like hearing her whine about my being so shy, so I jumped in the bed, pulled the sheet up over my head and removed my PJ’s, opting to leave only my panties. I then tucked the sheet tight under my arms, ensuring that I was completely decent. I glanced in her direction. She had her back to me, and was in the process of sliding off her underwear. Since she was facing the other way, I took a moment to take in the view. My eyes slid down her back, settling on her ass. To my horror, I felt my clit tighten for a moment, and immediately looked in the other direction. What was wrong with me?
“You ready,” she said, climbing in the bed.
The movie had already started and she settled into her pillow after giving me a big smile. She thought nothing of allowing her breasts to remain exposed, and allowed the sheet to settle around her lower torso. The lights were out, but the glow from the television allowed me to see that her nipples were somewhat erect. I couldn’t help wondering if her nipples being erect stemmed from the chill in the air, or the situation we’d found ourselves in; the two of us naked for the most part, in the same bed, about to watch two women make love for two hours. I decided that she probably thought nothing of the situation, and tried my best to concentrate on the movie instead of her body.
For the first hour, that wasn’t too difficult: what was happening on the screen was beautiful; two girls kissing and touching….licking and sucking each other…it was titillating. I found myself more aroused than I’d ever been in my life. My pussy was aching to be touched…but, I wouldn’t dare risk her catching me. Instead, I repositioned myself on my side, pulling the crotch of my panties into me and hard against my clit. That way the incessant throbbing would at least be met with some kind of pressure. It was then that I noticed how wet I was. It was shameful…and I wondered if the movie was having the same effect on her.
Neither of us said a word for the duration of the film. We merely exchanged a few nervous smiles, and when the end credits finally rolled, she turned the television off, then in the darkness crossed to the far end of the room and turned on a small lamp. I stared into my pillow as she climbed back into the bed. I was in agony. She mumbled a brief “goodnight” and settled back into her pillow.
15…20…30 minutes went by, and I still hadn’t fallen asleep. And, from the soft glow of the lamp, I could tell she wasn’t asleep either. She was very alert; her eyes boring a hole into the ceiling from her vacant stare. I very deliberately shut my eyes, knowing that I had to wake up in a few scant hours. It was at the moment, she chose to speak.
Her voice was barely audible.
“What do you think it would be like?”
I leaned up on one arm.
“What do I think what would be like?”
She turned her head in my direction.
“The movie…” her voice sort of trailed off.
What was she talking about? I thought I knew, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions. So, I played dumb.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, trying to put some confusion into my voice. She sighed in frustration, and turned over to face me, one hand pushing the hair out of her eyes, and the other supporting her head.
“You know…like,” she searched for something to say, and finally stammered out, “I don’t know…kissing a girl?”
I took a sharp intake of breath, and then tried to fake an heir of nonchalance I wasn’t feeling. “I don’ know. I guess it would be like kissing a guy, except without the stubble scratching your face up.”
She didn’t laugh. She rolled her eyes and sank back into her pillow, only to pop right up and ask me sternly, “I’m serious. Have you ever thought about it?”
How was I supposed to answer that question? Of course I’d thought about it. I’d thought about it a zillion times. But, I couldn’t be honest. Instead, I played it safe, and answered her question with one of my own.
“I don’t know…have YOU ever thought about it?”
She didn’t hesitate when answering.
“Yea, I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
That wasn’t the answer I expected. I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she was getting impatient waiting for me to answer. So, I bit my lip and confessed.
“Okay…I may have thought about it a time or two. I’m sure everybody’s thought it before.”
I tried to explain myself, but she cut me off with another question.
“Yea, but have you ever like…WANTED to do it? Like, really wanted to…beyond just thinking about it?”
She seemed annoyed now, and her abrupt change in demeanor was making me nervous. I didn’t know how to answer, so just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She slumped back into her pillow and a few minutes passed before she said another word.
“If I wanted to kiss you…would you let me?”
Her question left me stunned. I didn’t answer. I lay my head back into my pillow and looked up at the ceiling. What was happening? I was confused…and excited…and frightened. She pulled herself closer to me, and again leaned up, resting her head in her palm. Her face was just a few inches away from mine, and I could feel her naked body pressed against my arm. All the irritation in her voice was gone when she asked again,
“Would you let me?”
I couldn’t believe what was happening. I felt my pulse quicken, and the throbbing in my clit, which had subsided, returned with brutal force. I couldn’t speak. I merely looked at her, and gave a faint nod of my head. I heard her breathe in raggedly, and within a few seconds, her mouth was descending onto mine. Our lips barely brushed against each other at first, but the effect was dizzying. Her breath was ragged, and hot. Shyly and slowly…she applied more pressure with her lips, causing mine to part ever so slightly. She gave me tiny kisses this way for a few seconds, and then I felt her tongue graze my bottom lip. My ragged intake of breath must have scared her. She looked worried and afraid when she pulled back.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No…I don’t want you to stop,” I said, leaning up to regain contact with her mouth. I felt her moan as my mouth again met hers.
As her tongue licked at me, I settled back into the pillow, and slowly parted my lips to allow her the entrance she was seeking. I was scared. Even though I’d thought about this for years, the fact that it was finally happening unnerved me. I lay there stiff as a board, hoping she couldn’t tell how frightened I was. I felt a hand go into my hair, as her mouth traveled to my neck. Her hot tongue on my ear lobe sent a jolt of pleasure through me. Every nerve ending in my body was on acute alert, and it confused me. Yes, I’d had sex before, but nothing I’d ever felt made me feel like this. This was genuine arousal; nothing I had to fake. I was more aroused by her kissing my neck than I’d ever been from having sex with a guy.
“Kelly,” she whispered in my ear. “What do you want to do?”
I didn’t know how to answer. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel her body pressed against mine. I wanted the release that my body was aching for. But, what did she want?
“I don’t know,” was all I could muster. “What do you want to do?”
Her hand went to the sheet that was still tightly tucked under my arms. She pulled at it lightly, causing it to give just a little. I felt flurries of panic in my stomach.
“I want to look at you,” she said, and slid the sheet down a bit more.
Although everything inside me cried out to make her stop, I didn’t. I just lay there, and looked down at my breasts. She pulled the sheet slowly. I watched as my dark areola came into view, and I cringed. I’d always been jealous of Jessica’s light pink nipples. We were complete opposites, she and I. Everything about her was light; everything about me, dark. I wondered what she would think. I watched her face as I felt the sheet slide over and off of my hard nipples, then settle low on my hips. This was the first time Jessica had ever seen my body, and I was petrified. Her lips parted slightly, and I saw that her eyes had a glassy quality to them.
“I knew it,” she said, leaning down to kiss my lips.
I felt her hand cup one of my breasts, causing me to gasp against her mouth. Her kiss was urgent this time, not languorous and soft like before. She again traveled to my neck with her tongue, giving me an opportunity to speak. What was she talking about before? What did she know?
“You knew what,” I said, sounding more concerned than I wanted to.
She laughed a little, and sat up on her knees. Her hand reached down, and I watched as she circled my erect nipple with one finger.
“I knew that your nipples would be the color of honey.”
It was my turn to laugh. She reached down and grabbed my hands, urging me up on my knees in front of her. We sat there for a moment, staring at each other. Neither of us had been in this situation before. She grabbed my hands, and put them around her, drawing us close together. Her skin was hot and smooth against me; our breasts pressed against each other. I somehow found the boldness to finally touch her, and ran my fingertips up and down her sides. She shuddered, and I somehow found my voice, beneath my uncertainty.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
My hands traveled to her full tits, and I scratched her nipples with my nails. I brought my tongue to her neck, licking and kissing just below her ear lobe.
“And, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to touch me,” she whispered into my ear. “You don’t know how I used to lie in bed after you fell asleep, thinking of all the things I wanted to do to you, and the things I wanted you to do to me.”
This surprised me. She continued.
“I remember one night, when I knew you were asleep, I lay there next to you, fingering my pussy…and I wanted so badly for you to wake up and catch me.”
I felt her hand leave my body as she spoke. Then, I felt her legs part a little. I looked down to see her fingers stroking the outer lips of her cunt. She slowly leaned back a bit, while spreading her legs a little more. I watched in awe as her thumb made its way inside her. I could hear her wetness as she circled her clit, which made the agonizing ache in my pussy even worse. I groaned as I watched, then gasped out of surprise as I felt her other hand make it’s way between my legs. Her fingers slowly stroked the thin material covering my pussy.
I’m not sure what happened to me then, but suddenly any nervousness or uncertainty I’d been feeling left me, and what we were doing seemed like the most natural thing in the world. To her protest, I pulled myself away from her, and sat back against the top part of the sofa, my legs spread out in front of me. I then worked my panties down and tossed them onto the floor. I suppose we were thinking the same thing, because when she came close to me, she held onto my shoulders for balance then straddled my lap. She leaned down to kiss me as one of her hands traveled to my breast, and the other between my legs. When she broke the kiss and rose up, her breasts were even with my face. God….they were beautiful.
As she worked her finger around my clit, I leaned in to kiss and lick one erect nipple while my fingers caressed the other. I found myself mimicking the movements of her finger on my clit, with my tongue. I licked in soft circles first…then a little harder…a little faster. I then pulled it into my mouth, sucking it gently a first, and then harder, while circling with my tongue. When I grazed her nipple with my teeth, I heard her moan, and felt her body tremble. I then focused on the other breast, taking no time to suck her nipple between my lips.
I was so enraptured with what my tongue was doing to her, that I scarcely noticed when her hand left my pussy. Somewhere in my head, a faint sucking noise registered and I glanced up in time to see her slowly sliding a finger out of her mouth, then back in again. I stopped everything I was doing and watched her slowly suck and lick my wetness off her finger. She saw me watching, then quickly dove into my pussy with her free hand, moving her fingers around inside me to lubricate them.
Instead of bringing her hand to her mouth like I expected, she surprised me by tracing my bottom lip with one glistening, wet finger. Her other hand went around my neck as she drew her face closer to mine.
“Taste it, Kelly…you taste so fucking good,” she said, almost incomprehensibly, as her hips began to grind against me.
As she slid her finger into my mouth, my hand instinctively moved between her legs. I ground her clit between my thumb and forefinger, as for the first time, I tasted my pussy on someone else’s skin. It was almost intoxicating, and I found myself licking at her finger feverishly as she spread her legs wider to give me more access to her hungry cunt.
I slid one finger inside her as my thumb continued its assault on her throbbing clit. Her hips began to move in a grinding circular motion, and I could tell she was going to cum soon. She hastily removed her finger from my mouth, only to replace it with her tongue. She kissed me hard, and I felt her whimper into my mouth as she convulsed around my finger, her hot juices flooding onto my hand.
She lay limp against me for a moment, her breath hot against my neck. She whispered huskily into my ear.
“I want you to cum.”
Although I hadn’t cum, at this point, I felt fully sated. It didn’t matter to me whether I was going to cum or not.
“I want your pussy,” she whispered almost shyly. “I want it in my mouth…I want you to cum in my mouth, Kelly.”
Her hands slid to my thighs, as her body inched down little by little, her mouth leaving a hot trail of kisses down my neck…my breasts…my abdomen. And, although I was intensely aroused, I was terror stricken. No one had ever gone down on me before. I was never comfortable enough with either of the guys I’d been with to let them put their face between my legs…their mouth on my pussy. It was the most intimate thing I could possibly imagine, and I simply couldn’t allow myself to feel so vulnerable; so exposed.
She tugged at my legs, signaling me to lower myself on the bed, and miraculously, I did. My breathing was uneven, and I felt like I was on the verge of panic. But, as she parted my legs, and ran her hands up and down my inner thighs, I felt my fear subside, and slowly realized I wanted nothing more in the world than to feel her tongue inside me.
She seemed uncertain at first, while softly caressing my lips with her fingertips. Then I felt her breath on my skin. Then, I felt my lips part slowly. I immediately stiffened, afraid of what was happening. Then…I felt her tongue descend on me…licking up one side of my pussy, and down the other. She let out an appreciative groan, and her tongue quickly traveled deeper. I thought I’d die as I felt her lapping at me, tasting…licking…sucking my juices. And when her tongue finally made its way to my clit, I could tell that I would cum soon…and hard.
Never had I felt anything so exquisite. I spread my legs wider in reaction, opening myself to her completely. Her tongue moved rapidly…in circles, then in a stabbing motion…over and over and over, causing me to arch my back and grip the sheets beneath me. And the instant she sucked my clit between her lips, I began to cum. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and the first orgasm I’d ever experienced that wasn’t caused by my own hand. Without my control, my hips lifted off the bed, as if trying to push myself deeper into her mouth. I heard myself let out a guttural moan that sounded foreign to my ears.
“Jess…oh my God…stop…stop…stop,” I was mumbling incoherently.
She then lay on top of me, her thigh between my legs, and kissed me softly. I loved that I could taste myself in her mouth, and languorously kissed her back for what seemed like hours. When she finally pulled away from me, she inched herself down and rolled to the side. Nuzzling into my neck, she whispered, “Thank you,” and almost instantly fell asleep.
I lay awake for a long time, in shock over what had taken place. I was afraid of so many things: Did this make me a lesbian? Was I going to burn in hell for eternity? Would it be weird when we woke up? Would this ruin our friendship? Emphatically, I decided that this would probably never happen again.
“This is never going to happen again,” I mumbled, as I drifted off to sleep. Little did I know…that night was only the beginning.