The first time Stacey saw her it was out of the corner of her eye. It was one of those moments when you see something but aren’t sure. Your hair maybe falls forward and moves into your line of sight but when you really look there is nothing to see.
The second time she saw her it was a little more defined, the moment wasn’t a second as before but she could have counted a full five seconds before she disappeared.
Stacey didn’t think she was going crazy, she knew she already was, deep down. Actually, all her life she had been able to sense people. Whether they were there or not wasn’t the point. Stacey knew. It was her sixth sense. Other people might joke about it, call themselves crazy but Stacey knew. She had been visited many times as she grew up. The fears of a monster under a child’s bed was nothing in comparison to the fears of someone visiting you who wasn’t alive, who didn’t have flesh and blood. As she grew up and realized the enormity of her ‘gift’ she began to study on the subject to understand it better and to perhaps lesson her fear. She realized then that there were a lot of crazies in this world and many of them spouted things they had no business sharing. Many of them had no real clue about the hereafter or about visits from beyond. The enormity of what she experienced from time to time sank in during her late teens. When everyone else was worrying about boys and schools and a million other little things of teenaged angst, Stacey was dealing with the fact that she was some sort of conduit to supernatural beings.
It didn’t happen all the time but often enough that she accepted the inevitable and didn’t start in surprise to find someone in her home or even out on the street who wasn’t really there. She usually looked at them curiously and wondered why they appeared to her and her alone. Sometimes she realized that with a start of surprise they too were amazed that she could see them. There was nothing remarkable about Stacey that this gift should be given to her. She was 5’4″ tall with braces on her teeth and freckles on her nose and a pair of glasses that she was constantly pushing back up on her nose. She was short and dumpy and unremarkable in the fullest sense of the word.
Her teenage years were as miserable as anyone else’s. She would never be chosen for the cheerleading squad, even if she had wanted it. She wasn’t popular, she wasn’t pretty, and she went through high school with fairly average grades hoping to be unnoticed by all. She had very few friends and none of them knew of her ‘gift.’ She knew better than to share that bit of information with anyone, they would have locked her up in a heartbeat. Besides the usual teenage angst, she saw things that weren’t there, who could possibly understand her?
The summer before her senior year of high school though something amazing happened. One of the apparitions spoke to her. She realized she had been hearing them for a long time but not listening. There is a big difference between hearing and listening and a lot of people don’t realize that, whether they are alive or dead. Stacey learned it that summer. It was when she met HER. The first time as a glance, the second for a full five seconds as though she were testing Stacey to see if she were worthy enough to see her, to hear her. The apparition came as an attractive blonde haired woman when she was finally able to actually see her, all of her. Stacey sensed right away that this time was different, that this one meant business. Strangely she wasn’t afraid. The woman was dressed in modern almost futuristic clothes with black leather pants on her slender waist and a blue satiny looking blouse that crossed over her breasts and tucked in the pants beautifully and she looked at Stacey as though waiting, waiting for something…
Since Stacey was alone this particular time she smiled and said “hello” out of politeness.
The strange woman smiled in response. Stacey stared. The woman had understood her and responded! Her other appearances by apparitions had never responded and instead usually disappeared shortly after appearing. It was how Stacey had learned to be unafraid, they never stayed long.
“You understood me?” Stacey asked and then was surprised when the woman nodded. Holy cow! she thought as she stood there and wondered what to ask next. Then of course she thought of the many times she had wanted to ask her ghostly visitors the one question they never could she said “is there something I can do for you?”
The woman smiled her beautiful smile again and nodded.
Stacey looked at her or rather through her as she floated there. She had always thought it silly that ghosts on tv were depicted as though they would bob there in thin air. Her ghosts had never done that and this one certainly didn’t. She kind of shimmered but she was standing there just as anyone else would. She looked to be about 5’7″, her hair was a deep chestnut brown and strangely Stacey could see the highlights in it as it hung almost to the woman’s waist. She had long elegant fingers, was thin, and had one of the most arresting faces that Stacey had seen in a long time. She started realizing the woman had been standing there waiting as Stacey examined her. “what can I do for you?” she asked not expecting a verbal response, her apparitions never spoke.
“Actually I am here to help you” the woman spoke in a melodic voice that Stacey immediately found soothing.
Her heart though was beating uncontrollably. “Your here to help ME?” she asked incredulously.
“Stacey!” her mother beat on her door “who are you talking to in there?”
The woman disappeared in an instant and Stacey blinked a moment before answering her door.
“No one Mom, why?”
Her mother opened the door suddenly and looked at her suspiciously and even peered over her shoulder to see if she were hiding someone in her room. “I thought I heard voices” she said confused.
Stacey shrugged and out waited her mom knowing she would give up soon and she did as she walked away shaking her head at hearing ‘things.’ Stacey smiled as she closed and locked her door hoping to see the woman again.
It was a week of boring summer vacation before she saw the lovely woman again. She was dressed the same and this time Stacey noticed she was wearing anklet boots in a really cool style. Stacey wished she could pull off that look but with her dumpy little body there was no possible way.
“Hello” she said to Stacey first this time.
“Hi” Stacey breathed actually pleased to see one of her ghostly encounters for a change. She didn’t know why but she was intrigued by this one.
The woman smiled and it made her face even more beautiful if that were possible. Her long hair, her matching plucked eyebrows, her short forehead and her amazing eyes seemed clearer this time to Stacey.
“You said last time that you were here to help me?” Stacey asked. It had bothered her all week and she had to know.
The woman nodded. “I was sent in answer to a request you made” she responded in her amazing voice.
“A request?” Stacey asked confused. She didn’t remember making a request.
The woman nodded again and said as she pointed at the mirror over Stacey’s dresser, “you asked to be prettier and to meet someone someday” she mentioned.
Stacey felt the shock. She had said it one day as she looked in alarm at her braces, her freckles, her acne, and her dull brown hair as well as her dumpy figure. She had said it when she was alone and down in the dumps after an awful day at school. She certainly didn’t expect a response.
“I know it’s hard to understand but I am here to help you achieve what you wanted” the woman told her.
Stacey looked at her incredulously and asked “do you wave your magic wand or what?”
The woman laughed a genuine laugh at Stacey’s question. Its melodic tones did something to Stacey’s insides. “No, it’s not like that but I am here to offer help and advice. You can take my suggestions or not as you wish.”
Stacey looked at her as she considered what they were talking about. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and it was then that she realized there was no reflection of her visitor in the mirror. It was drilled home at that moment that her visitor wasn’t really there. She knew it wasn’t in her mind, she could actually see her, and she could almost touch her. “What do you suggest?” Stacey asked then realizing it couldn’t hurt to follow the woman’s advice.
The woman smiled as she realized Stacey had accepted her help without a fight, without argument. “When do you get your braces off?” she asked.
“In two weeks my two years of servitude to them will be over” Stacey said in resignation.
“That will change a lot of your appearance that you so detest” the woman said astutely. “There are other things we can do if you are willing.” She waited for Stacey’s response.
That night at dinner Stacey only ate salad. Her mother fretted over this almost immediately. They were a meat and potatoes household and she thought perhaps Stacey was coming down with something. Tempted as Stacey was to fill her plate with the normal beef, potatoes, and other butter filled vegetables she remembered her new friend’s advice and stayed on the salad. She had two helpings to be sure and the lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots didn’t seem to fill her full but she followed it with large glasses of water and this filled in the empty feeling in her stomach.
After dinner she took the dog for a long walk around the blocks she had grown up with as a kid. She knew exactly when the woman appeared as her dog stopped dead and refused to walk another step. She looked up with a smile at her friend and turned so that the dog didn’t have to go anywhere near the apparition that had scared him. As it was he looked over his shoulder fearfully the entire walk home. Stacey had to assume that her new found friend followed them the whole way.
Stacey asked and was allowed to make an eye appointment. When she told the optometrist that she wanted contacts or laser surgery he fitted her for the contacts. She was pleased when they arrived two weeks later and she could try them out. She was amazed at the difference with her glasses gone and her braces off how much her face changed in appearance.
Stacey started going to the local pool but she chose a time she knew none of the local kids would be going. As a result she met a lot of senior citizens and despite the age disparity she actually enjoyed talking to them. She did laps every day and as summer progressed was able to do more and more as her stamina increased. Her diet of fruits, vegetables, and salads kept her on the straight and narrow despite her mother’s worry that she wasn’t getting enough to eat. Her nightly walks got longer and longer.
Her nightly talks with her new friend too were longer and longer and more involved. Stacey could ask her anything and learned a lot about the ‘hereafter’ or so she thought she did. She realized though that the woman wasn’t really telling her any secrets, nothing she hadn’t learned herself from her careful research over the years. She could share with the woman though as she never could before with anyone else. The woman practically knew everything about Stacey already but still they found things to talk about.
Within a month Stacey had taken to wearing a belt, her jeans no longer could be held up without one. Within the second month she no longer had to keep her shirts untucked to hide her weight, she could tuck them into her belted jeans. Her mother fretted that she was starving herself thin but she pointed out that it was her healthy routine that was the cause and not a lack of food. She still ate a lot but it was of vegetables, fruit, and salad with plenty of water during the day.
As the summer came to a close Stacey was instructed by her friend on makeup, personal hygiene, and clothes. Her normal clothes no longer fit without massive alterations. Her mother this year let her take her allowance for school clothes and shop alone. She felt she was old enough and responsible enough to do it all herself, after all she was going to be a senior in high school this year. On the advice of her ghostly friend she also got her hair styled, and with the streaks from the pool in it, it looked incredibly professional and good on Stacey. With a makeover and new clothes Stacey didn’t recognize the fat little girl who had previously inhabited her bedroom as she gazed in her mirror. The diet, the exercise, and the friendship had helped mold a chubby little girl into an attractive young woman. With the braces gone her teeth were perfectly straight. With her glasses gone she was no longer pushing them up her long nose which looked amazingly pretty with its dusting of freckles which she could hide if she so chose with the makeup she had learned to apply. Her eyes now looked fantastic with the eyeliner, the shadow, and the mascara expertly applied. Her eyebrows no longer looked caveman and bushy and were impeccably plucked and sculpted. A new thinner Stacey appeared in the mirror before her. She felt confident and proud. She sensed she wasn’t the only one pleased with what she had accomplished as she looked over her shoulder at the now familiar woman.
“Are you pleased with what you have accomplished?” she asked in her beautiful voice.
Stacey nodded as she turned to look at her friend “you know, all this summer we have talked and shared but I still don’t know your name.”
The woman smiled in response and nodded “it was not for me to volunteer, I could not tell you until you asked.”
“You couldn’t?” she asked confused.
“No, it is one of those weird little rules I told you about” she smiled in remembrance of one of their many conversations.
Stacey waited and then asked again “well, what is it?”
“It’s Renata” she laughed her tinkling laugh and it made Stacey smile in response. They had talked all summer and she just finally had asked for her strange friend’s name. It was kind of funny. The name ‘Renata’ though fit her perfectly. She looked like a ‘Renata’ whatever that was but to Stacey it suited her.
Stacey’s first day back to school after the long summer break was nerve racking. She hadn’t seen Renata in a few days but she knows she is there whether she ‘sees’ her or not. She had already helped Stacey choose what to wear for her first day back. For once in her life she is going to wear a short dress and heels to school. Her backpack contains all her school supplies and a little packet containing blush, shadow, liner, and lipstick, the essentials just in case she needs to refresh her look at some point during the day.
“You look very nice” her mother compliments her when she saw her at breakfast. She actually is very proud of what Stacey has done this summer to transform herself. She had been worried as any mom worries about her teenage daughter but Stacey was healthy and she seemed happy.
As Stacey made her way to the bus stop she saw many of the neighborhood kids waiting already. No one had really noticed her this summer and since she didn’t ‘hang out’ with anyone really it had been easy to be ignored all summer long. That wasn’t the case now as she walked to the stop, several people were standing there shocked with their mouths open in surprise.
“Stacey?” a pretty girl approached her in surprise.
“Hi Maddy” Stacey responded with a smile which showed off her now brace free perfect smile.
“What did you do to yourself?” she asked trying to mask her surprise and failing.
Stacey shrugged “I got rid of my braces and glasses” she made little of the transformation but inside she was thanking Renata for all the inspiration and advice. She knew the pretty girl in the mirror was her now and everyone couldn’t help but see.
As she got on the bus a silence came over it as those she had known, some since kindergarten took in her transformation.
“Hey yo, Stacey” Ellie called making room for her on her seat.
“Hi Ellie” she smiled as she sat down carefully so her short skirt didn’t ride up. “How was California?”
“Beautiful but apparently I missed something this summer?”
Stacey laughed but didn’t reveal her secrets, she was going to enjoy every bit of this.
Time and time again all day long people were stunned stupid at her new look. A few teachers even were surprised, some she had all four years of high school didn’t recognize her right away when they called her name for attendance and looked for her in the crowd. It was a totally wonderful day for the teen and Stacey hugged the feeling to herself.
It was weeks later that Renata appeared so Stacey could tell her everything. Renata’s smile over Stacey’s enjoyment of her first few weeks of school was a sight to see. A few weeks later though it presented a problem that Stacey had never had before, guys were asking her out for the homecoming dance. She had never in her four years of high school even gone to a dance. Renata showed her how to dance not only a waltz and other older dances but new ones to current music. Watching her see through friend dance to hip hop music was a sight to see and Stacey collapsed in laughter time and again. It wasn’t that Renata wasn’t good, she was, but seeing through the ghostly apparition was funny.
Allan Cummings took her to her first dance. It was pleasant and he made sure he gave her a wrist corsage but for Stacey it was all about seeing everyone dressed up in their finery. She didn’t especially care for Allan and she knew he expected a kiss at the end of the night which she obliged him with but there was no spark, no electricity with him. After the dance he asked her out a few times and she went for forms sake but again, she felt nothing when he kissed her and pawed her teenage body that was turning curvaceous.
“Damn Renata, is this all there is?” she asked in disgust. She had gone out with a couple of other guys at this point and Christmas vacation was looming. None of them did anything for her and she could tell that she kissed better than most of them at this point. Apparently some things came naturally to some people.
“Someone will come along who sparks that interest, I promise you, you just need to be patient” she said with her soothing voice a hint of a smile on her lovely face as she discussed things with her friend.
“Yeah but when?” Stacey said exasperated, she wasn’t thrilled with them pawing her and a lot of the time swapping spit with them was gross.
“All in time, all in time” she smiled and asked “you didn’t really think you’d meet the man of your dreams in high school did you?”
Stacey looked up and through her friend and sighed “no, I guess not.”
“Then relax and have fun, high school is a testing ground for this sort of thing. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want to do and enjoy what pleasures you get” she advised.
Stacey had to admit Renata was right. In fact when she thought about it, she was always right. That was okay, she hadn’t steered Stacey wrong even once since she had met her and since Renata came into her world she had stopped seeing so many other ghostly images which suited her fine.
Stacey did have a lot of fun her senior year. She made a lot of friends but no one she knew that would be lasting. If they hadn’t seen her in years past she knew they were only seeing her now because of her looks. She didn’t want superficial friends like that and was pleasant to everyone. She got invited to a lot of things she wouldn’t have before because of her looks and while she went to a lot of parties and other social niceties she took it all with a grain of salt.
Her first year of college would have been terrible but Renata appeared that first week and comforted the homesick girl. She had chosen a college well away from home to get the full ‘college’ experience and now she was lonely for all that was familiar her whole life. Renata was the one comfort she could count on.
She made friends, some of these were genuine and not based on her looks. No one knew the Stacey of old with her braces and glasses and chubby looks. Now they only saw the pretty girl whose personality drew them like magnets. With Renata’s coaching she began to enjoy college life and she began to date some of the college men she met. As in high school no one seemed right. By her first spring she resented the men and boys who touched her and thought perhaps there was something wrong with her but Renata assured her there wasn’t, to be patient.
Stacey decided to concentrate on her studies, after all she was at college to get a degree so she could go out in the world and get a decent job to support herself. It was her sophomore year that she met Melanie who had a similar experience with the men and boys on campus that she shared with Stacey one night over chem lab studies. Stacey hated chemistry and Melanie was a whiz at it so they teamed up and Stacey was passing with flying colors. She helped Melanie with advanced calculus with the same devotion that Melanie helped her with chemistry and they both were happy with the arrangement.
“Stacey, have you ever felt an attraction for someone you shouldn’t be attracted to?” Melanie asked her one night as they studied late.
Stacey looked up from her books where she was trying to remember things for the following day’s exam and considered Melanie’s question. Shrugging she shook her head “I don’t think I have…”
“I’m so sick of guys pawing over me thinking they are going to get laid” she sighed exasperated.
Stacey grinned, with that she could agree! “I know what you mean, it’s like they think we are there for their convenience.”
“I’ve just about given up on men” Melanie said.
Stacey frowned and asked “are you going to become a nun?”
Melanie laughed and said “no, I don’t think so, I think I might like to jump the fence.”
Stacey looked at her puzzled and asked “jump the fence?” not sure what that meant.
Melanie grinned at her friend’s naiveté “you know, go over to the other side?”
Stacey shook her head still not understanding.
“Date women” Melanie said in exasperation at Stacey’s obtuseness.
Stacey’s eyes opened wide. Of course, that made sense! As the reality of what Melanie said sank in on her consciousness she realized that that was what was wrong with the whole dating scene for her. The men she thought she was attracted to just did nothing for her. Maybe this was the answer!
“Are you shocked?” Melanie asked worried.
Stacey shook her head and said “I don’t think you are wrong.”
“I’m not?” Melanie was surprised at Stacey’s answer.
Stacey shook her head and said “no, if men aren’t doing ‘it’ for you, why not try women?”
“I’m surprised you are that open minded about it” Melanie answered.
“Me too” Stacey answered with a little laugh.
They discussed the possibilities back and forth but as they were essentially done studying for the night it didn’t interfere with their tests for the next day. Both of them discussed various women on campus that might do ‘it’ for them. They really weren’t thinking about sex but rather women they could be attracted to who might even return that attraction. The thought of actual sex with a woman was the farthest thing from their minds at this point in the beginning of their discovery.
Stacey had an ace up her sleeve though that Melanie couldn’t understand. She had Renata to talk to. While living in a dorm with a stranger each year Stacey’s newest roommate spent more time getting laid with the frat boys than studying so Stacey frequently had her dorm room to herself and could talk to her ghostly friend.
“Renata” she whispered hoping she would appear. She looked around and saw nothing. Rarely did her ghostly friend appear on command when Stacey wanted it but rather when she needed it. Stacey’s interpretation of need and Renata’s apparently differed. It was weeks before Renata appeared and Stacey was relieved to finally see her. She had come to depend on Renata but at the same time she resented that she couldn’t see her any time she wanted to.
“Hi there” Renata greeted her appearing one late night after a long night of studying and conversation with Melanie.
Melanie had gone ahead and met someone and had been sharing with Stacey the delights of ‘making out’ with a woman versus a man. She hadn’t gone ‘all the way’ but she was rapidly heading towards it.
“Renata, thank goodness, I thought you had left me forever” Stacey greeted her with a smile. She would have gone to hug her but it was a little difficult when she wasn’t totally there. She had accidentally walked through her once and the feeling against her body was something she didn’t care to repeat. It she didn’t know that she had that sixth sense, she would have been frightened by the icy cold fingers that went through her own solid body at the touch of Renata’s.
“I’ve told you, I’m with you always” Renata responded with a smile at Stacey’s enthusiasm.
“I need to talk to you, I have been talking with my friend Melanie” she halted for a moment unsure how much her friend knew, but then she knew everything didn’t she? “You know Melanie?” at Renata’s nod Stacey went on to describe the many conversations that they had had regarding dating women and while Melanie had gone ahead with it Stacey hadn’t the nerve.
“Do you feel comfortable with that idea?” Renata asked soothingly.
“I don’t know but I know I’m intrigued by the idea” Stacey said thoughtfully. “I know dating men hasn’t appealed in a long time, I resent the feeling that they are taking over my body when they grope me, that they are in ‘control.'”
“Perhaps you need to find a man that while physically appealing needs a dominant woman” Renata advised.
“You know I thought of that, I actually did and then I realized that a man like that actually would lose my respect somewhere along the way.”
“You have thought about this a lot haven’t you?” Renata asked cautiously.
Stacey nodded. Next to her studies this whole complicated mess that people called dating occupied too much of her time. With that thought she looked at Renata and asked “are you disgusted?”
Renata gave her a look that Stacey didn’t understand as she shook her head “no, I’m not disgusted at all, who am I to judge? If this is what you want my friend, I support you 100%.”
“Have you ever been with a woman?” Stacey boldly asked her friend.
Renata laughed and spreading her hands asked “like this?”
Stacey joined in her laughter, how would a ghost make love when there was no physical anything to hold onto. It wasn’t until a long time later that Stacey realized that Renata hadn’t actually answered this particular question.
The thought of being with a woman occupied a lot of Stacey’s mind that sophomore year in college. She watched and listened as Melanie had first one lover and then a few more. She heard her lament that women were as catty and insecure as men but she never once complained about their touch. In fact she sung their praises to the heavens how glorious it was. Stacey stuck to the tried and true and still dated men but she found no one that ‘tripped her trigger’ as Renata so quaintly put it.
Halfway during her junior year in college Stacey met Yolanda. She was a foreign exchange student from South America and fun to be around. Her shaved black hair on the sides with the tail of hair down the back should have given Stacey a clue of Yolanda’s sexual proclivities but Stacey was still naive where those things were concerned. Melanie finally had to give her a heads up regarding that since Yolanda was now dating one of Melanie’s exes. It didn’t bother Stacey as she had a few gay friends now thanks to Melanie. It was at one party though that Stacey realized where her own road was leading her. She was dancing with Roland, one of the big frat brothers on campus and enjoying herself immensely when a song came on that he couldn’t dance to. Normally Stacey would have joined him for a beer as they sat out but Melanie and friends got up to dance and Stacey stayed to enjoy the dance with them. Yolanda had broken up recently with her current lover and she began to dance with Stacey.
“I love this American music” she said with her beautiful accent.
Stacey nodded, too out of breath to carry on a conversation but she gave Yolanda a smile not realizing that Yolanda took it as a ‘come hither’ smile and would act on it.
As the music played, the beer flowed and Stacey enjoyed herself with her friends both men and women. It was with great surprise though that she found herself out on the porch in a corner alone with Yolanda.
“Ja know” she said with her delightful accent “I’ve been watchin you for a long time.”
“You have?” Stacey responded dumbly. She wasn’t drunk by any stretch of the imagination but she was feeling no pain.
Yolanda nodded as she leaned in to kiss the surprised Stacey on the lips. When she felt no resistance she moved in for more. She felt no resistance though because Stacey was shocked. While she had thought about this type of interaction she had always thought she would be the one to initialize it. She didn’t realize she had with her smile earlier. She didn’t resist though and Yolanda took that as acceptance. She deepened the kiss and began to caress Stacey. Stacey could honestly say she didn’t feel threatened by it, not at all like when the men she had dated had tried something. She didn’t feel overwhelmed or like she couldn’t breathe.
“Ju like?” Yolanda breathed when they came up for air.
Stacey nodded dumbly not sure of what she could say. She enjoyed the feel of Yolanda’s lips on hers, her body against hers. She wasn’t sure how far she wanted this to go though. Fortunately Yolanda must have sensed that Stacey was a novice and backed off.
“We go on a date ja?” Yolanda asked but Stacey wasn’t sure she was asking so much as telling.
Stacey nodded and left it at that. It gave her a lot to think about in the coming nights. Something had been turned on though as her body apparently liked the idea of going on a date with Yolanda. She frequently found herself as horny as her roommate these days. She started having very sensual dreams. She seriously considered buying some toys to fill the emptiness her crotch was experiencing. She frequently found herself rubbing her clit but it wasn’t nearly satisfying, she knew she was missing something.
“You do that a lot?” Stacey heard the amused voice of Renata who had appeared after months of being absent.
She looked up at her coolly dressed friend, she always wore the same leather pants, the cool anklet boots, and the cross over blue satiny blouse over her big breasts. She grinned sheepishly, at least Renata had allowed her to finish before she made her presence known, that thought though had Stacey wondering how often Renata watched her or how much she saw. She shrugged nonchalantly “now and then, I need some relief” she said almost defensively.
Renata smiled a knowing smile and said “you’ve met someone that inspires you?”
Stacey looked at her friend or rather through her and nodded “I think so.”
Renata had a look on her face that Stacey couldn’t define and said “are you going to allow her to go all the way?”
“Who says it’s a ‘her’?” she asked rudely, again almost defensively.
Renata smiled knowingly and sat down on the end of the bed. Stacey scooted her feet up to make room for her friend. “You’ve been wondering about girls for a long time now, you’ve met someone that gets your juices flowing, it’s only natural that you think about going ‘all the way’ with her.”
Stacey looked down at her drawn up legs. She felt a little ashamed to be talking to Renata about this but then she could say or do anything with Renata as had been proven to her time and again.
Renata sighed loudly to get Stacey’s attention “its okay, you know I don’t judge you. It’s natural, don’t let it bother you.”
Stacey started to tell her about Yolanda when suddenly Renata disappeared. She heard a key in the lock and barely had time to pull up her sheets to hide her naked lower half when her roommate came drunkenly in.
“Holy shit this room reeks of sex!” she said but barely made it to her bed before collapsing on it.
Stacey was actually glad she passed out as she quickly opened their window to air out the room and took the opportunity to pull on her pajama bottoms. Her roommate wouldn’t remember a thing in the morning and Stacey was embarrassed but relieved.
Stacey never did follow up with Yolanda. She found her attractive but also too butch for her tastes. She instead found that she liked girlie girls. Ones called femme’s. While she never acted on it during her junior year she thought about it enough through her senior year. She suppressed it though, she knew instinctively she wasn’t ready for it even if she masturbated to frenzy over thoughts of certain girls.
“Congratulations Ms. Warrens, welcome to the firm” the senior partners shook her hand time and again as they welcomed her into their midst. Her summer’s spent as an intern had paid off and now Stacey had a terrific new position. The pay wasn’t bad either and she could rent a decent apartment. She didn’t need to have a roommate and for the first time in her adult life she was looking forward to being self-sufficient and on her own. She was a confident young career girl and going to take the world by storm.
She was lonely. She didn’t date. Her whole life was wrapped around her work. It wasn’t nearly as fulfilling or satisfying and she seriously needed to find someone to share things with. Renata appeared from time to time but it was less and less these days. Stacey guessed she didn’t need Renata like she once had, but she missed her. She had plenty of off time and she spent it putzing around her apartment or walking in the parks of the city. She kept up her healthy routine established in the summer before her senior year thanks to Renata and as a result she had a fantastic woman’s body that many admired, both men and women. She had frequently been asked out by the men in the firm but kept a strict ‘business only’ demeanor and refused them all. She realized she wasn’t physically or sexually attracted to any of them anyway. Women were what did it for her but she had never done anything about that either. In this day and age of sexual freedom, Stacey was still a virgin.
It must have been all that pent up sexual frustration that started the dreams. Many was the time that Stacey woke up with her fingers between her legs and a pool of cum on the bed. It was only after a long time she began to remember her dreams and realized she was fantasizing about women. She needed to get laid she realized but she didn’t want some random femme or dyke to take her. She didn’t want to give her virginity to just anyone. She wanted it to mean something, it least in her mind.
Stacey started to go out on the weekends. No more would she sit lonely and bored in her apartment making sure her plants were watered. She slowly discovered the lesbian scene. She was welcomed with open arms, after all she was fresh meat, and attractive. She got hit on by all kinds, aggressive dykes that look like men, more feminine ones that were a bit more subtle, and femme’s that ran the gamut of aggression to timidity. She made a lot of friends but she didn’t spread her legs for any of them. She knew she was searching for the one, and she didn’t know where she was hiding. She thought perhaps she might wind up alone at this rate.
The dreams though never quite went away. She wanted them so badly she began to have them in the daytime as well. Staring out her window at work she could barely remember some of the night dreams that got her so hot and bothered but with her daydreams she was in control of them. Many was the time she had to go to the restroom and change her panty liner from the sopping one that now lined her panties. This mystery woman that came to her in her dreams, the faceless one that occupied a lot of her daytime dreams kept her hot and horny and aroused.
“Renata, I haven’t seen you in ages” she smiled in welcome at the apparition that had appeared in her apartment.
“I’ve been here” Renata told her with a return smile.
It was at that moment that Stacey realized the faceless woman of her daydreams had a face after all. It was Renata’s. It struck her like lightning. The one woman, the best friend she had all these years was Renata and now she had been fantasizing about her. She was ashamed. There could never be anything between them and yet her heart was tearing at the thought.
“What’s wrong?” Renata asked her with concern seeing the sad look on her friend’s face.
Stacey looked down at her short manicured fingernails. It was one of the many things that Renata had taught her so long ago. “I’m sorry Renata, I don’t think I am myself these days.”
“What’s wrong?” her friend repeated as she came to sit on the couch where Stacey was but keeping a distance between them. She wasn’t unaware that there could be no physical contact between them. Stacey would have gone right through her.
“I don’t know if I can tell you” Stacey felt uncomfortable.
“You know there is nothing you can’t tell me, haven’t you shared everything with me over the years?”
Stacey nodded knowing this was true. Renata was the one friend she had shared all her childish fantasies and many of her adult ones, she wasn’t sure though that she could share what she suddenly realized she had been dreaming about.
“Come on Stacey, you have my curiosity aroused” Renata cajoled her.
It was the word ‘aroused’ that made Stacey want to squirm but Renata never judged, she was always ‘there’ for her, Stacey sensed her without even seeing her many times over the years. She was her closest friend. Even Melanie and other friends had never heard the stories or shared the intimacies she had with Renata. No one knew about Renata but Stacey.
She started hesitantly, still staring down at her nails “I’ve been having dreams for a long time now, night dreams, day dreams, all about women. I started going to gay bars hoping to find a woman that could fulfill those dreams but she just doesn’t appear, she just isn’t real” she said with real anguish.
Renata would have reached out to touch her and console her if she could have, as it was her hand began to move towards her shoulder and stopped in time.
Stacey thought she had to get it off her chest, she took a deep breath and looked up into Renata’s eyes, or rather through them and said “it’s you Renata, it’s you I’ve been dreaming about, fantasizing about, wanting for longer than I realized. I know there can never be anything between us but I don’t think I can help myself. You’re my best friend, your closer to me than anyone else has ever been. How can I feel this way about a ghost, about someone who isn’t there but in my own mind?”
Renata could see the anguish that was hurting her friend. As Stacey watched thought the expression on her face turned to shame. Stacey’s honesty deserved some of Renata’s own “I’m sorry Stacey, this is my fault” she began.
“Your fault? How is it your fault that I’ve fallen in love with a ghost?” Stacey looked at her puzzled and unsure.
“Because those dreams you have at night, I caused those” she said looking with a pleading expression at Stacey for her to understand.
“What do you mean you caused my night dreams?” Stacey was confused.
“I couldn’t resist, do you remember the first time you dreamed about women, when you first started having wet dreams about them?” Renata asked.
Stacey thought back to her realization that she just might be gay, her conversations with Melanie. She realized even before that she had some of the dreams. She looked at and through Renata with incredulity “even then, those were you?”
Renata nodded shamefully “I couldn’t help myself, you had become so beautiful to me. I stayed away but only when I knew you couldn’t consciously be aware of me and my presence. You’re too astute, you sense me too easily. I think it’s because I had fallen in love with you but I know that’s not the case, it’s because you are so aware of the other side. I began to appear in your dreams, I’m sorry, I know this isn’t fair, I might have unduly influenced you to choose women over men but I wanted you for myself and I indulged my own feelings and not what you might have wanted.”
“You mean I might have chosen men after all?” Stacey said wonderingly and then realized with all the conversations she had with Melanie she knew that wasn’t the case. She knew the first time Yolanda kissed her that women were right for her. The countless women she had kissed and fondled at the clubs, she knew that felt right, but not enough to make love to them. This woman, this woman she couldn’t have, this was the one she wanted and desired.
“I don’t really know if you would have chosen men or suppressed your attraction to women. I know how hard it is to be in a relationship with the same sex, perhaps I did you a disservice by messing with your dreams.”
Stacey shook her head “No, Renata, I think I was born gay. I know that sounds like the party line but I realized a long time ago that I wanted women in my life and not a man. I can appreciate a man aesthetically speaking but I have no desire to feel his naked body against me and the thought of his sperm” at this she shuddered “I’m just not interested.”
“But if I had stayed out of your dreams you might have come to that conclusion yourself. I’ve messed with the natural order of things. I crossed a line.”
“No Renata, I think perhaps you showed me the way. I want a woman, but not just any woman, I want you and I can’t have you” she sobbed momentarily at the unfairness of the situation “you showed me how to take pride in my appearance. You gave me confidence. You provided me with real friendship all these years. I owe you a debt of gratitude I can never repay. Is it any wonder that my dream woman is you? Is it any wonder I want and desire you?”
“Don’t you see, it’s just because of the dreams, I caused them, I went where I didn’t belong” Renata said forcefully taking the full blame of the situation on her shoulders.
“Don’t you see?” Stacey parodied back. “I might have fallen in love with a totally unacceptable woman instead of my dream lover. I don’t know what we are going to do now that we are both aware of it but I know this Renata, if you were here, if you were on the physical plain, I would want you forever” Stacey said passionately.
“I’m sorry Stacey, it’s not possible, and I’ve crossed a line. It would be better if I never bothered you again.”
“What are you saying, are you saying you’re going and I will never see you again?” Stacey asked alarmed.
Renata nodded sadly never having wanted to take this woman in her arms more. “It’s only fair that you are given the chance to find someone on your level, someone real to love and cherish. I’m sorry I indulged myself, I’m sorry I caused you this pain. I loved you too don’t you see?”
Stacey looked into Renata’s beautiful face and could see her fading before her own eyes. “Don’t go Renata, I love you, please don’t go!” she pleaded but to no avail. The ghostly image was gone.
That night Stacey cried herself to sleep. That night she had the best sex she had ever had with her dream lover. For a change she was aware that it was Renata but as she made love to her this last time they both realized it was for the last time and couldn’t last. Stacey woke up when it was over and was crying from the loss.
Over the following months her friends and coworkers realized Stacey had suffered some tragic loss of some kind. She was a fairly private person so no one really knew what it was. They only saw her depressed state, her trudging along and barely surviving. No longer did Stacey have daydreams with Renata as her lover, her face was already fading from her consciousness and no matter how hard she tried to hold on, it slipped from her memory until she could barely remember what she looked like. No more did she have wet dreams over her dream lover. She stopped going clubbing, the friends she had made that had hoped to become more than friends missed her but no one sought her out. Stacey became wrapped in her own cocoon of misery.
“What HAPPENED to you?” Melanie asked in concern. She was visiting and all she saw was the shell of the woman she once knew.
Stacey shrugged it away unable to explain and was surprised when Melanie grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to look her straight in the eye.
“SOMETHING happened, TELL ME!” she breathed into her face in anger.
Stacey sighed and sat on her couch, the same spot she had been in when Renata faded from her life. How could she tell anyone? How could she explain about Renata when everyone would think she was nuts? She didn’t miss the irony of the moment when Melanie sat down in the same spot that Renata had been sitting all those months ago when she disappeared.
“Do you remember me telling how in high school I was a short, fat, little girl with braces and glasses?” she began
Melanie squinted her eyes in remembrance and puzzlement trying to understand where this was going but she nodded hoping that Stacey would go on.
Stacey licked her lips as she stared down at her fingernails “in the summer before my senior year I lost the glasses, got contacts, I lost the braces, I worked out in the pool and walked daily and lost my baby fat. My hair lightened from the pool and I got a decent haircut” she glanced over to see Melanie watching her avidly.
Melanie nodded to show she was listening but was wondering what all this had to do with how her friend was looking now.
Stacey licked her lips again before continuing. “I didn’t do it alone though, I had help.” She glanced up again before adding “all my life I’ve sensed ‘others’, other beings that no one else could see. This time though, the same one appeared and gave me advice.” She waited for a moment to hear if Melanie thought she was nuts. Glancing up she only saw polite and concerned interest on her friend’s face.
“This, this thing, this ‘other’ was in the form of a woman…” she began and then was shocked to hear Melanie speak.
“Renata?” she asked softly.
“How did you…how did you know?” she stuttered her question in surprise.
“You talk in your sleep sometimes” Melanie informed her with a little smile at her surprise.
“I do?” she asked stunned “why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Melanie laughed a short bark and said “because it was so interesting, I’ll tell you later, finish your story.”
Stacey told her everything. She told of Renata’s helpful advice regarding hygiene, makeup, clothes, everything for the last six years of her life. How Renata had been her best friend, her confidant, her pal. She told her of her dreams though too, especially once she owned up to the fact that she was attracted to women.
Melanie smiled and said “I know” to the last part.
“What do you mean? You know?” Stacey asked.
“Sometimes when I’d stay over and we’d be up all night talking, you’d fall asleep and murmur in your sleep. Over the years I can’t tell you how curious I was about who Renata was, this explains so much. I knew you were making love to this mysterious Renata. I didn’t realize though that she actually spoke to you, that you carried on conversations with her, that you’ve actually seen her. That’s so cool.”
Stacey shook her head at the revelation that Melanie had known for years about Renata and never said anything. “Why didn’t you ever ask who she was?”
“Because I figured if she was that important to you that you were keeping her to yourself, you would share when the time was right. This must be the time. I can’t tell you how many times when we were sharing over a beer I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to pry or embarrass you. I can see by the shock on your face that you thought it was your secret.”
“Did others hear it? Did others know?” Stacey asked cautiously wondering how many times she had been the subject of ridicule and not known.
Melanie shrugged “I talked about it a couple of times with your roommates but they never really realized what it meant. Apparently they shrugged it off since you were mumbling. I don’t know what else they saw of course.” She leaned forward to confide “I’m pretty sure though I watched you make love to Renata once or twice over the years from the sighs and moans that were coming out of you as you slept. I think I watched you have an orgasm or two in your sleep.”
Stacey reddened in embarrassment. Then she realized that everything she had told Melanie was confirmed by her observations.
“She’s left me now” she told Melanie and explained their last conversation.
“She won’t be back?” Melanie asked concerned.
Stacey shook her head and covered her face with her hands and cried. Melanie took her friend in her arms and held her, rocking her until the sobs subsided. It was a long time in coming, Stacey was crying, not over the death of her friend who was already dead but rather over the death of the relationship with the woman she had loved for so long. Stacey consoled herself with this small thing, the fact that a human could hold her, she could feel her holding her and Renata never could.
Her work didn’t suffer, she threw herself into it with abandon. She became the best assistant account manager they had ever seen and was soon promoted to account manager with her own team of people to manage them. She was a rising star at the firm but there was this sadness about her.
“This is the Whitmore account” her boss explained as though Stacey hadn’t spent a month studying it until she could recite it backwards. “I don’t need to tell you how important it is.” No, he didn’t, he had told her every day for a month and she knew that very very well. “I just don’t want to screw this up” he threw in for good measure.
Stacey and her team went to the meetings and her knowledge and expertise won them the account hands down. The Whitmore people were so impressed they insisted on Stacey handling the account personally. Her firm couldn’t have been more pleased with Stacey’s performance. Within a month the Whitmore people were over the moon with Stacey’s professionalism and expertise. It was then that she was allowed to meet Ms. Whitmore.
“Stacey, I’d like to personally introduce you to Ms. Whitmore” her contact at Whitmore’s insisted as she walked into the luncheon.
Stacey’s confident walk halted as she gazed at the woman before her. Ms. Whitmore was none other than a human version of Renata, her ghostly friend that she had lost so long ago. Right down to the clothes she had always seen on Renata, the leather pants the anklet boots, and the crossover blue satin blouse. Stacey looked into Ms. Whitmore’s eyes to see if she recognized Stacey but there was only polite interest from the introduction. As they shook hands though both women were aware of the electrical current between them and the look they shared acknowledged it.
Stacey found a hard time being able to eat at that luncheon. Her thoughts for the first time in a long time were taken up with thoughts of Renata. She finally had a clear view of what her features would look like on a real person. No more was her view impeded by seeing through the apparition. She was clearly defined. She was beyond beautiful, she was breathtaking. Stacey tried not to stare. She suppressed her incredible attraction for this woman and remained the professional.
“I hear we have you to thank for putting together these excellent deals that Whitmore has benefited from” even the voice was pure Renata’s and sent shafts to Stacey’s vitals.
She smiled and said “you did hire our firm for the best, it would be poor business not put Whitmore’s at the top of their field” she answered.
Business was conducted in a casual professional atmosphere and they got a lot of work done. Stacey found Ms. Whitmore to be highly intelligent and interesting. Her laugh though twisted Stacey’s insides as it had of old. At the end of the meeting Stacey was firmly thanked by all of them and Ms. Whitmore last of all.
Shaking Stacey’s hand again she said “I want to thank you for all of your hard work that has enabled our two firms to do business” she smiled and Stacey looked at her oddly for a moment.
“You’re certainly welcome, we appreciate Whitmore’s business enormously” she smiled in return.
Ms. Whitmore examined Stacey for a moment as she released her hand wondering at the odd look in her eye.
Stacey returned to work and collapsed in her chair behind her desk in her office. She was exhausted from having to maintain the facade. She felt drained from having met Ms. Whitmore. She didn’t know how she was going to maintain any semblance of dignity around the woman. She had hoped that her staring and quiet had gone unnoticed. She prayed she had remained professional.
“How’d it go?” her boss popped his head in.
She smiled “brilliantly” she answered with false enthusiasm.
“That’s great to hear, I’ve heard Renata Whitmore eats account managers for lunch” he laughed before adding “we are very pleased with what we hear you’ve done for them.”
Stacey thanked him and pretended to go back to work, effectively dismissing him. She got very little work done that afternoon, her thoughts were raging.
“Hey, we are going OUT tonight, it’s Friday night and you are NOT staying in that apartment one more moment!” Melanie told her in a tone that brooked no argument.
“I really don’t feel like…” she began but was overruled. She found herself at Charlie’s Bar in the village sucking on a cool martini.
“And she looked EXACTLY like Renata” she was telling Melanie.
“I think you have Renata on the brain kiddo. You need to forget her. There is nothing you can do or say to bring her back.”
“See, this is one of the reasons why I never told anyone about her, you don’t believe she existed.”
“Hey babe, it’s not that I don’t believe she existed but she dumped you. You need to move on.” Melanie said practically.
Stacey sighed. Melanie was right. She needed to move on. Ms. Whitmore was NOT Renata. Renata was a ghost, a dead person. She had done Stacey a lot of favors and moved on. Stacey needed to move on too.
They turned around to watch the dancers on the floor and check out possible future dates. It was only fair, they were being checked out too. A group of ‘elite’ customers were in the lounge, a private area that was for the privileged few that paid an extra charge to be left alone. This way the wealthy or the famous could enjoy a night out in the bar without being bothered. Stacey glanced curiously into the lounge when the lights came up from the end of the song and gasped.
Melanie looked at her in alarm and concern “what’s wrong?” she asked.
Just then the lights dimmed again for the next song as Stacey replied “I just saw, or rather I thought I saw Ms. Whitmore.”
Melanie looked around and asked “where?”
Using her chin to point she said “there, in the lounge.” With the lights dimmed again it was impossible to see into the little alcove, it remained in almost total darkness, they could barely make out that there were people in it.
“I think you have Renata on the brain again kiddo, you need to stop, or better yet, maybe it’s time for you to get help.”
“I am NOT crazy Melanie, if you don’t want to hear anymore…” Stacey began, naturally enraged at her friend’s suggestion.
“Hey babe, I’m with you 110%. If you’re going to drive me crazy I’m along for the ride. Relax. If you think you see Renata, then you see Renata, okay?” Melanie backed off realizing it wasn’t worth upsetting her friend. Besides, she didn’t want a scene and Stacey looked very capable of making one at this point.
“I’m sorry Melanie, I just told you what I saw” Stacey said contritely.
“Well, point her out again when the lights come up” Melanie advised.
Stacey didn’t have to. The woman in question came out of the lounge with a couple of friends in tow who then immediately proceeded to the dance floor while the woman headed for the bar where they were sitting. Melanie had been glancing at the alcove and saw Stacey stiffen and realized this must be the woman that was causing her friend so much anxiety.
“Stacey?” the woman smiled as she held out her hand in greeting.
“Hello Ms. Whitmore” Stacey recovered her shock to see her there, a lesbian bar. “Nice to see you.”
“Please, won’t you call me Renata?” the woman replied and Stacey stiffened up. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Melanie did the same.
“Renata, I’d like you to meet my friend Melanie” Trying to sound natural Stacey covered her surprise.
Renata Whitmore held out her hand to Melanie and said “hello Melanie, what’s wrong, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” She took in the shocked expression on Melanie’s face and her stiff posture.
Melanie recovered and said “you look like someone I know” she answered as she shook the beautiful woman’s extended hand. Stacey had of course described what her ghostly friend had looked like but this was overwhelming, and the coincidence of the name….was it a coincidence?
Renata laughed delighted “I get that all the time. They say everyone has a double, I would like to run into her sometime!”
They all smiled at her joke.
“Would you like something?” the bartender had noticed Renata standing there.
Renata ordered a sloe gin fizz and waited with the girls for the bartender to blend it. “Seems like a great crowd” she mentioned casually into the quiet the other two women were creating.
Stacey recovered enough to answer “yeah, usually they don’t get rocking until after midnight.”
“Oh, you come here often?” Renata inquired with interest.
Stacey smiled and shook her head “no, awhile back I came occasionally. I haven’t been here in a long time. Melanie insisted I get out tonight.”
Renata looked at Melanie and asked “are you two a couple?”
Melanie looked even more surprised than the stunned look on her face from before and answered “us? A couple?” and then started laughing as though Renata had told the funniest joke. Partly it was relief from the tense moment they were feeling, partly it was from something she actually found funny.
Stacey glared at Melanie and when Renata turned to try and understand what Melanie was laughing at she explained “Melanie and I are just friends, I’ve known her since college. We are both single.”
“Oh, that’s good” Renata replied as the bartender returned and said “put it on your tab Ms. Whitmore?” Renata nodded as she took a sip. “Ah, that tastes refreshing” she commented.
Stacey’s eyes had narrowed slightly at Renata’s comment “that’s good?” she asked for clarification to remind Renata of what she had said.
Renata looked her straight in the eye as she said “that you two friends can go out together and that you’re single because I’ve been watching you since you came in and hoping you would dance with me.”
Stacey blinked in surprise and then smiled as she answered “I’d like that.”
Behind Renata’s back Melanie was giving her the thumbs up sign and Stacey grinned a little because of it.
“Let me finish this one and we can dance” Renata said cheerfully and Stacey grabbed her own martini to finish it off.
As Renata grabbed her hand to lead her to the dance floor Stacey felt like she was floating on air. This couldn’t be really happening. The live embodiment of her fantasy, of her dead friend, of her love was holding her hand. In person. In the flesh. Things didn’t happen like this. This couldn’t be happening, right? And yet she accepted it. It was right, it was deserved. She had been through hell and back and she would enjoy every moment of this for as long as it lasted. If she was dreaming, it was a hell of a dream and she didn’t want to wake up this time. A slow song started as they got on the dance floor and Renata never hesitated to pull her into her arms and shuffle along with her as they adjusted to each other’s steps.
God Renata felt good against her. Stacey closed her eyes so she could feel with her senses and all six of hers told her it was right. She could almost feel the ghostly Renata there as well smiling down on this moment. She almost wanted to crush the live Renata to her chest to prove she was live, she was real, and she wasn’t Stacey’s imagination. Instead she held her carefully, almost delicately, felt her warmth, smelled her perfume and unique body essence and relished every second of it.
“I’m glad you were here tonight” Renata breathed in her ear and Stacey could feel the warmth of her breath and feel a small smattering of goose bumps go down her spine.
“Why?” Stacey asked from her own mouth which was by Renata’s right ear where her head was almost resting on the taller woman’s shoulder.
“Because I felt instant attraction to you at today’s meeting. Almost as though I’ve known you before” Renata replied with her soothing voice.
“I felt the same way, I would swear we have met before” Stacey replied bending the truth a little.
“I’m relieved you’re in a lesbian bar…” Renata began before pulling back momentarily to look in her smaller partner’s eyes and ask “you ARE a lesbian aren’t you?”
The alarm she heard in Renata’s voice made Stacey smile as she shyly nodded. “However I only think it fair to warn you, I’ve never been with anyone.” She looked down in shame as though she had committed some social faux paus.
Renata lifted Stacey’s chin with her fingertips so she could look deeply into her eyes. “No one? Ever?”
Stacey shook her head as she looked deeply into Renata’s deep blue eyes. The lights from the dance floor and her blue blouse brought out tints in those blue eyes that were making Stacey’s legs go weak. She whispered “I have never been with a man or a woman.”
Renata found herself becoming greatly excited. The thought of being the first woman with this delightfully pretty woman was intoxicating. “Why not?” she felt she had to ask.
Stacey shrugged “I’ve been waiting for the right woman.”
Renata felt odd, almost as though something had come over her. She realized she must proceed with caution. After all, she worked with this woman. She also didn’t want to scare her off. “Is it possible, I could be that right woman?” she asked hesitantly.
Stacey smiled and then shyly nodded.
Renata leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She couldn’t believe how that one little kiss would affect her body though. She felt electrified by it. There was something about this woman, there was an overwhelming attraction. The handshake that afternoon had started it. The way the woman stared at her during the meeting. The way she was looking at her now. All of it indicated intense interest. Renata couldn’t help but return that interest if it was anything like she was feeling.
They danced several dances together, oblivious to those around them. They danced each of them slow as they got to know each other and lightly teased each other’s bodies by dancing closely. Even though everyone around them were rocking out to the beat, they continued to dance slowly. This elicited a few chuckles from those around them but everyone could see the looks between the two of them, the intensity, the conversation, the happiness and let them to it. They were oblivious to those around them anyway. Some envied them what they obviously already had, some knew who the players were and were surprised they had hooked up. Melanie watched and prayed her friend wouldn’t get hurt, again.
“So you see you look just like her” Stacey was explaining to Renata about…Renata.
“You believe you see ghosts?” Renata asked to clarify what Stacey had been sitting on her couch explaining.
Stacey had felt the need to explain in full before this went any further. She and Renata had spoken for hours in the club and it was only natural that Renata invited her back to her co-op. They were sitting with a fine bottle of wine on her cozy and expensive living room couch so they could continue their hour’s long conversations.
“Yes” Stacey answered simply thinking this might be just too much for the sophisticated woman she was talking to. To her amazement though Renata smiled, that endearing smile that Stacey had never seen enough of over the years.
Renata breathed a large sigh before saying “that’s a relief.”
“A relief?” Stacey asked puzzled.
Renata nodded as she answered “I thought I was the only one.”
“You’ve been visited by ghosts?” Stacey asked astounded, she had never met anyone who admitted that. She had never confided this with anyone other than Melanie though.
Renata nodded again “my whole life I’ve seen them but in the last six years or so just one but with no face and no name.” She looked intensely at Stacey and said huskily in awe “I think it was the embodiment of you.”
Stacey blinked rapidly at the emotions that were swirling around her, she had an idea she had to share with the beautiful woman before her “maybe my ghostly Renata was visiting me, letting me fall in love with her so I would someday be ready for you, and maybe, just maybe she was also visiting you in the form of me so you would be ready for me?” She waited anxiously to hear what her new found friend would say.
Renata smiled, that dear and familiar smile that Stacey loved so much and would never, ever tire of, the one she had missed so much. She leaned in for a kiss and whispered “I think you are right, I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you…”
That kiss was just the first of many. Stacey had fantasized and dreamt so much of this woman, that making love to her was not awkward, not unfamiliar. She knew the spots she needed to touch to make her writhe, to make her squirm, to make her moan. It was like a dancing partner she had had for years, they knew each move the other would make before they made it, anticipate it. Despite Stacey’s virginity status, neither of them were unknowing of the other, they knew each other’s body intimately. As they moved it to the bedroom, shedding each other’s clothes, they couldn’t help but stop to admire the body presented to the other. Renata, brunette, tall and curvy and sexy as hell, Stacey, blonde, short and petite and sexy as hell. They were incredibly matched and both appreciated the beauty of the moment as they came together naked on the bed.
Stacey kissed those lips she had dreamt over, day and night. They felt so warm, alive, and real. The tongue that snaked out into her own mouth she caressed, she licked, she adored in return. Renata sucked on hers, she caressed it, and she made Stacey feel alive in ways she had never dreamed of. Kisses along the jawline and to the ear followed as they licked, sucked, and caressed each other. Breast to breast, hip to hip they touched everything they could reach and rolled over to touch more.
The first touch of lips on her breast had Stacey gasping in pleasure. As she ardently followed suit on Renata’s pert nipples on her huge breasts she was amazed at how much the blouse had hidden. Not in her wildest fantasies had she imagined what these two beauties would look like unbound from a brassiere.
The first touch on her hip by Renata’s fingertips had her longing for more. She shifted slightly, hoping that Renata would understand her need, her desire for more. Renata must be a mind reader as her fingers gently but firmly made their way between Stacey’s legs. That first touch on Stacey’s clit by someone else other than her own hands was mind boggling and very welcome. Especially because this someone was the one she had been waiting for all her life. Even before she knew she wanted this woman she had been waiting for her. To have her actually in her arms, to know she was real, had her body reacting in overdrive. She had never felt this ready before. Even before Renata touched her clit, or cupped her hand on the warmth between her legs, Stacey knew she was inordinately wet. She felt like she was gushing. The sound Renata made as she discovered this flood was like music to Stacey’s ears.
“Oh my God” she breathed as she sucked her way down Stacey’s body. Her fingers plunged in to play.
Stacey’s body rose to the occasion, welcoming those fingers, first one, then two, then amazingly a third.
Renata had hesitated to add that third finger, mindful of Stacey’s virginity she didn’t think she could take it with just her fingers. But the body is an amazing thing and Stacey’s was begging for that fullness. Renata wanted only to please her. As her mouth sucked, licked, and nibbled its way down the smaller woman’s petite body she wanted to give her the ultimate pleasure. As she made her way with her lips and tongue to Stacey’s clit she was pleased that her body arched in supplication, begging for what Renata and only Renata could give her. Her tongue reached out for that first taste and Stacey released a huge pent up sigh. When Renata’s lips captured her clit and as she felt that warmth enfold it she let out a little sob she hadn’t known she could make.
Renata wasted no time in thrusting her fingers inside Stacey’s gushing body. She reached up and gently petted a spot she knew was there and Stacey arched back in supplication and cried out, if possible she was gushing more. She greedily sucked and licked as much of the nectar as she could manage and still it poured out of Stacey’s body. Her tongue and lips created magic on Stacey’s painfully erect clit. She kept up the combination of the stimulation. She could tell by the writhing of Stacey’s body that she was close.
Stacey had never been able to cum by herself in this manner. This was a whole new level that she couldn’t have fathomed. Having the woman of her dreams in her arms, the foreplay, the actual touch, it was all overwhelming. She didn’t last long as she peaked, bucking and screaming out in her ecstasy before going limp in her lover’s arms.
Renata had never made anyone faint and she was at first alarmed, a little scared, and then as she saw Stacey coming to, a little proud of herself for making this happen on Stacey’s first time with another person, with another woman, with her. At this moment, if it were up to Renata, Stacey would never ever experience it with anyone else.
“What happened?” Stacey asked confused as she woke up in Renata’s arms. Renata was gently caressing her hair back, occasionally the side of her face soothingly.
“La petite morte” Renata smiled down as she was propped up on her elbow holding the smaller woman.
“What?” Stacey asked, she still felt a little fuzzy but at the same time, incredibly relaxed.
“The little death, you fainted from your orgasm” Renata told her, her eyes dancing in delight at the prospect.
Stacey felt overwhelmed. She had heard of that but certainly never experienced anything like it. What could she say? “Wow” about summed it up.
Renata grinned “do you feel okay?”
“Wonderful” Stacey answered with a grin and then asked “but what about you?”
“You don’t think we’re done do you?” Renata asked as she rolled on the petite blonde pressing breast to breast, belly to belly, mons to mons, and wrapped her legs around her smaller lover’s, rubbing them enticingly as she rubbed her mons against Stacey’s, clit to clit she moaned loudly.