Loading...I met Jenna while I was in college. Big shocker right? That’s how most of these stories always start, but it’s true. I had been in a dorm room alone when she transferred to my room. Something had happened with her roommate (I think she died or left the school or something) then Jen requested to be moved in with a roommate. At first I thought she was a bit distant, cold even, but eventually we got comfortable with one another.
We were both 19 and while she was studying to become a photographer I was interested in fashion design. Although she was quiet and shy, I eventually found myself caring a great deal for her, just in a friendly way though. Then her nightmares started. It was in the middle of the night during midterms when I first heard Jenna crying.
We had been roommates for a few months and I considered myself her friend. I heard her sobbing in her corner of the room and I sat up to investigate. She quickly apologized and promised that she was fine. I knew better. Tears streamed down her face and I made her tell me what was wrong. It turned out that her step father had abused her (she said only physically but I suspected otherwise). She said that the dreams always came when she was stressed and the midterms were weighing heavily on her mind. We sat talking for over an hour and eventually we fell asleep together in her bed. We were just friends though, like I said. But that changed soon enough, for me at least. About a month after her nightmare issues I saw Jenna getting into a disagreement with the girl who had been my roommate before her. That bitch had demanded changing rooms after she found out that I was a lesbian. As if I would ever try to get with her skank ass.
“I saw you checking out my boyfriend, you fucking slut.” Kayla, yelled at Jenna. My poor roommate stood frozen and silent.
“Is there a problem?” I asked as I moved into place behind my friend. Jen mumbled something about being sorry and promising that she hadn’t been looking at Kayla’s boyfriend. “Leave her alone, Kay, she didn’t do anything to you and we both know it.” I spoke softly as to not make the situation worse but you wouldn’t believe the nerve of that bitch.
“Come on, Liv, lets get out of here.” Jen said as she grabbed my arm.
“You’re right. She isn’t worth it.” I agreed.
As Jenna and I walked away Kayla yelled out: “Yeah, walk away, you fucking dyke, before I beat the shit out of both of you.”
“What did you just call me?” I growled as I spun around. I didn’t give Kayla a chance to respond before I punched her right in the nose. It looked like she was going to have to pay her plastic surgeon another visit. I was not going to, nor would I ever, condone fighting. It is petty, childish, and severely immature…. But honestly, my feelings had been hurt. And the fact that she threatened Jen made it inexcusable.
After that Jenna and I were best friends for the next two and a half years of college. But it wasn’t until the end of our senior year when I actually fell for her… or realized that I had already. It was right before finals and she had another one of her bad dreams. I had become accustomed to them and Jenna knew to just climb into my bed when she couldn’t sleep. But that night was different. She was shaking so bad that my whole bed trembled under us.
“You okay, Jen?” I asked her when I heard her sobbing return.
“I’ll be okay. I just…” Her cries picked up and I knew her dreams were getting worse. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly until she fell asleep. It wasn’t until she had been sleeping for a few minutes that I realized that I too had started crying. My heart ached to see her in pain. My poor best friend would carry her nightmares forever. I hugged her body closer to me as I thought about what life would do to someone as kind and innocent as Jenna. I thought about what life had already done to her. I buried my face in her flowing chestnut colored hair and I could smell the coconut shampoo she used. Just having her with me made me feel better. I felt like I could protect her. At that moment I realized that I was in love with my best friend, hell I had probably been since the first moment I had met her. She was gorgeous. About 5’3″ with a thin build. Her skin was a gorgeous honey color and it contrasted nicely with my caramel complexion. I though briefly about what we would look like completely naked with one another. Her light skin against mine that was several shades tanner. I was also a few inches taller and my hair was black compared to her almost red-ish brown locks. I shook the thoughts away. I focused on the fact that she was my best friend and that she was straight and while she had taken the news of my sexuality well that didn’t mean she was going to join the club. I never told Jenna about how I felt about her and a few weeks later we both graduated and went on our way.
Three years later she and I were still close. I had moved to Miami Florida and Jenna traveled the world taking pictures like she had always wanted. I got a successful clothing label started in Miami and thoughts of Jenna were soon buried away, but not forgotten. I found women, I slept with women and I dumped women. Life was simple. But my life got turned around when Jenna called and said she was moving to Miami. She said something about focusing on fashion photography and that Miami was perfect. I only focused on the fact that she would be moving back. Three weeks after her move she invited me to dinner, a common occurrence between us since her return, stating that she had something important to tell me.
“I know you are going to hate me, Liv, you are never going to speak to me again.” She said slowly as I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. She said as after we had both eaten.
“Relax, honey, it can’t be that bad.” I assured her. I reached out and grabbed her hand on the table to try to comfort her.
“I lied to my boss.” she told me. I was about to ask what that had to do with me but she motioned for me to be quiet. “I told him that I could get exclusive access to you next fashion show.”
“Oh… that’s okay. Umm… I will have to work some things out with some other photographers for the show but that shouldn’t be a problem. Why would I hate you because of that?” I rambled on like I always did when I got nervous. I would have to make sure all the other magazines got pictures of the line. Jenna would be the only photographer on site which would probably make some of the sponsors mad but it was a do-able situation.
“That’s not the only thing I told my boss. He has been hitting on me a lot lately and you know how I get when guys hit on me. I got all nervous and told him that I would be photographing the show because you are… well I might have said that I was…” Jenna mumbled and stuttered but couldn’t speak.
“Jen, what are you talking about? It couldn’t be that bad. It’s not like you told him we we’re sleeping together right?” I laughed but I knew by the sudden drop of her head that I had been right. She had told her boss that she was in a relationship with me. Great. Not only was I in love with her but I would have to pretend like I was pretending to be in love with her. Fantastic. I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? I really did love her and it would tear me apart to act like her girlfriend without really being it. The show was three days away and I would have to do crazy work to fix Jenna’s lies, not to mention that I would have to play her girlfriend.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. Please don’t be mad at me. He was just so pushy all the time and I got scared. If you want, I will tell him the truth. Just please talk to me…” Jenna finally did start to cry in the middle of our very expensive meal in the middle of a very expensive restaurant.
“I’m not mad, Jen. I just have some things I have to work out for the show. It might be best if I go.” I placed my napkin on the table before tossing money on the table to cover the bill, tip and cab fare for Jen. I kissed her on the cheek, like I always did. “I love you and I will see you later.”
“Liv, please don’t be like this. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Jenna cried as we made our way to the parking lot. I couldn’t force myself to turn around but the sound of her crying broke my heart the same way it had when we were in college. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Jen, it’s okay. I’m really not mad. I just have a lot of work to do if you want to impress your boss. I could never hate you, you are my best friend. I’ll love you forever.” I reached out for her and she immediately fell into my arms and began sobbing. We stood like that in the middle of the parking lot for at least ten minutes. “You okay?” I asked when she finally calmed down.
“I’ll be fine. It’s just that with work the way it has been, the nightmares have been pretty bad lately and seeing you reminded me of when you would help. It feels nice to have a real friend.” She forced a pained smile and we both got into my car. She still hadn’t bought one yet, she was too nervous to go alone and I hadn’t had a chance to go with her. Her small apartment was also tiny and severely under furnished and drastically overpriced.
“You can sleep at my place if you want.” I offered. “I can handle most of my work from home and I will feel better knowing that you are sleeping okay.”
She nodded slightly and I drove off to my place. I pushed the thoughts of her naked in my bed out of my head and I focused on the fact that the girl I loved needed my help. No matter how much it would hurt me to fake it, I would be whatever she needed me to be, even a fake girlfriend.
We got back to my house and I showed her to the guests’ bedroom. She quickly went to bed and I went to my room to get to work on rearranging the show. From a dozen photographers to one would be some serious work. I sent out emails and I decided that I would do other photo shoots after the fashion show. It would be less trouble and Jenna would have the exclusive shots for an extra week or so. With all the work done and emails sent, I shut my laptop and changed for bed. I had only been sleeping for a few minutes when I heard some rustling at my door. I shot up in my bed, forgetting that Jenna was in the house, and I saw my best friend standing in my door way with tears streaming down her face.
“I didn’t mean to wake you. I just thought that you might be up. I’ll go back to bed…” Jen wiped at her eyes and turned to leave.
“It’s okay, Jen. You can sleep in here.” I lifted the edge of my blanket and I waited as she crawled in next to me.
“You are the only person who ever really cared about me, Liv. Even my mom left me after she found out about what Ricky had done to me. She said it was my fault. She said I seduced him.” She whispered into the darkness as if I wasn’t there. She was finally admitting that her step dad had raped her. At that moment all romantic thoughts flew from my mind. She was my friend and she needed me to be there for her.
“You didn’t do anything, Jenna, and it sure as hell wasn’t your fault. You mom is a stupid cunt if she thinks otherwise.” I couldn’t control my anger. How could a mother turn on her only child like that? She had left Jenna alone in the world.
Jen didn’t say anything but she did wrap her arms around me as she finally began to fall asleep. I lay in the bed for a few extra hours wondering what would become of Jenna and me. She was my best friend and I was madly in love with her. I only dated girls that looked like her and I had called them by her name more times than I could count. But could I ruin the only real relationship that she had? What if she didn’t feel the same way? How could I ruin our friendship? I wouldn’t, I decided. I would play the part and then things would go back to normal. I had managed to go three years hiding my love and I figured I could keep on doing it.
The next two days went by in a flash. Between me working on the show and Jenna sleeping with me at night, things got into a nice routine. The day of the show came and it went marvelously. My clothes were a hit and I had some major boutiques interested in picking up the line. Jenna did great with the pictures and the sponsors were thrilled with her work. Everything went fabulously until the after party. We were at a small club, owned by a personal friend, when Jenna’s boss walked over and ‘congratulated’ me and Jenna who was by my side.
“I thought Jenna was lying when she said you were a couple but I guess she wasn’t.” He said as she glared at us. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist, the way I would do to a girl I was dating.
“So how long have you known each other?” He asked with mock interest. He was obviously trying to catch Jenna in her lie. I didn’t know why he was so interested.
“We were college roommates.” I answered smoothly. He was far from intimidating or interesting. He asked a few more questions but I answered them all easily. She was my best friend after all. Jen excused herself to go to the bathroom and that’s when Mark, her boss, tried to pull a fast one.
“Did Jenna tell you about her shoot in Prague? She got pictures of most beautiful…” Mark started to speak but I stopped him.
“You must have her confused with someone else. Jenna has never been to Prague, or any other country in the north eastern part of Europe. She isn’t a fan of the cold weather, she actually hates it very much. That’s why she moved to Miami.” I laughed at his stupidity and wrapped my arm around Jenna when she returned. Mark, flustered and angry that he had been caught, didn’t know what else to say. “Well, I think it’s about time we leave, don’t you baby?” I asked Jenna as I pulled her closer to me. She must have been really comfortable with me because she didn’t flinch when I pulled her only inches from my face.
“Sure thing. I am really tired.” Jenna said honestly. Every night since she had began to stay at my house she had had nightmares. But I never understood why she just wouldn’t sleep with me from the beginning of the night. She always did the same thing: She would go to bed in the guest bedroom then in the middle of the night she would creep into my room, wake me, then get in bed with me.
We both left the party and went back to my place. I was in a good mood, between the fabulous show and having Jenna by my side it was like a dream come true, and that made me a bit cocky.
“Since you’re my girlfriend for the night you might as well sleep with me.” I laughed as I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Jen laughed and asked for a bottle as well. I threw her hers.
“I sleep with you every night, you loser.” she giggled as she drank from the bottle.
“I guess you’re right. Come on, let’s go to bed.” I quickly sobered to the fact that she would never see me as anything but a comforting friend. It crushed me but I didn’t let on. “You might as well sleep with me now instead of waking us both up later. I have things planned for us tomorrow.”
Jenna reluctantly agreed and we both went off to bed. The next day we had more fun than even I had planned. I convinced Jenna to move into my place. Her apartment was expensive, tiny and she didn’t need it. Then we went to a few of my favorite stores and I bought Jen more clothes than she had ever owned, being a successful designer afforded me the luxury of having a large bank account. And even though Jen complained about spending my money she let me have my way. Then we went to dinner and right before we went back home something caught Jenna’s eye from the sidewalk. She noticed a pet store with a cute puppy in the window. We went inside and soon found out that it was a mutt but since it was cute they were asking top dollar for it. Jenna looked at the puppy’s $900 price tag and slumped her shoulders. She was doing okay for herself but she didn’t have an extra thousand dollars lying around to blow on a puppy. I secretly footed the bill and arranged to have the puppy dropped off by my house in an hour. Jen wasn’t very good at hiding her disappointment about the dog. It was a mutt and it didn’t make sense to either of us why it cost so much. I guessed it was a pit-bull mix but I really had no idea, although it was huge for a puppy. So we went home. We made small talk in the kitchen but I could tell she was still thinking about the dog. I tried to hide my smile when I heard the door bell ring a few minutes later. The owner of the pet store was standing at my door with the dog, food, toys and an assortment of things I had paid for without Jen’s knowledge. I grabbed the stuff and tipped the owner. I tossed the extra things to the ground by the door but I carried the dog into the kitchen where Jen and I had been talking.
“Who was it?” she asked with her back turned to me. I didn’t answer and she was forced to turn around to find out why I had remained silent. She yelled and giggled like a little kid then she ran over and hugged me. I wasn’t a big fan of pets but seeing the look on her face made it all worth it. “I can’t believe you paid that much for her. You shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to. Besides, you deserve to have the things you want. To you it’s just a dog but to me it’s being able to see you smile. You don’t do that enough now a days.” I told her. I was taken aback when she got on her tippy toes and kissed my lips softly. I usually kissed her on the cheek or on the forehead but she had never kissed me on the lips before. “Jen, what are you doing?” I asked as I stepped back sharply.
“I thought that was what you wanted.” She said. Once again she was on the verge of tears. “I always thought you liked me. I’m so sorry…” she ran off to her room and I was left in the kitchen with that stupid dog in my hands. I didn’t know what to do. Thoughts swirled in my head and I was completely lost as to what to do next. I had to talk to her. She deserved better from me than “what are you doing”. I went to her room with the dog still cradled in my arms. It was pretty heavy for a four-month old. I knocked on Jen’s door before entering.
“I’m sorry, Liv, I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just wanted to show you how much I care about you. I’m sorry.” She cried from the bed without looking at me. I decided to tell her the truth. She needed to know.
“Jen, I need to tell you something.” I told her softly as I dropped the dog to the ground. Jenna sat up in the bed and looked right at me. “The reason I didn’t want you to kiss me is because it means something very different to me. You wanted to thank me and that’s what you thought I wanted. Even though you are right, I couldn’t let you do it, because I would just want to do it again and again and I don’t think you want that. Maybe we should pretend like it never happened. You won’t have to regret it and I will try not to want to do it again.” Our eyes met and I saw something in them that I had never seen before. I could see the love she felt for me written all over her face, too bad she didn’t love me the way I loved her, or did she?
“Liv, I wouldn’t regret it, I don’t. That is if you don’t hate me.” She searched my face for answers but I didn’t have the right words. So I blurted out the truth once again.
“Damn it, Jenna. I have been in love with you since college, I could never hate you. I’ll love you forever.” I said a little too loudly. I immediately clamped my hands over my mouth as if it would erase the words I had just said. I stared at Jenna who just looked back at me in silence.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. But the whimpering of that damned puppy snapped us both back to reality. Jen placed it on the bed behind her but she still didn’t say anything to me.
“I’m sorry, Jen. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that pretending to be your girlfriend reminded me of how much I really love you. I understand if you are upset. It’s getting late I should probably go to bed.” I stood up and walked to the door before turning around slowly. “If you need me you can come to my room. You know I would never do anything you didn’t want me to but I understand if you don’t want to. I really do love you, Jen, and I am sorry if I messed everything up. I’m really sorry.” Just as I was about to leave Jenna jumped up and grabbed my hand.
“You shouldn’t be sorry. You are the only person who’s ever loved me and I love you too.” Jen brushed her lips against mine once more but I could feel her hesitation. I held her back a bit.
“I know you love me but you aren’t in love with me. It’s okay. I don’t want you to do something because you want to make me happy. Having you here with me makes me happy enough.” I kissed her forehead and sighed.
“No, Liv, I really do love you. I never loved anyone before you and I never found anyone after. I didn’t know the difference but I think I really am in love with you.” She forced her lips against me once more and this time I could feel her passion. Maybe she did love me.
“Jen, I don’t want to hurt you. What if you realize you don’t love me? I can’t lose you as a friend.” I told her as I pushed her back for a third time. I had prayed for her kisses for years and now in one day I had pushed her away three times.
“You could never lose me. I love you.” She grinned and wrapped her arms around me. She hugged my body tightly and rested her head on my shoulder.
“Jenna, I…” I didn’t know what to say. I rested my back against the door and I waited for something to happen. I prayed for a sudden moment of clarity when I would have the answers I needed. But that moment never came. I stood hugging Jen for at least ten minutes before she stood back and looked at me.
“Are we going to bed, or what?” She asked with a warm smile. It was almost like nothing had happened. I nodded and we went to my room. We changed in silence, we had been naked in front of each other hundreds of times and this one was no different. I crawled into bed and Jen was close behind after she fixed a bed for the puppy in the corner of the room. I turned out the lights and I lay in the dark silently. I still had no idea what Jen wanted from me.
“Liv?” Jenna asked a few minutes later. I assume it was a few minutes later but in reality I was so consumed in my own thoughts that it could’ve been hours.
“Yeah.” I croaked out. I was horrified she would take it all back.
“I’m not sorry I kissed you. I’m sorry if you are mad but I’m not sorry that I kissed you.” she whispered to me as she reached out for me in the dark. She grabbed my waist softly and turned me towards her. “Are you upset with me? I really just want to know what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t know, Jen. I just don’t know what to say. I am so scared that you are wrong about how you feel.” Tears fell from the corners of my eyes and I waited for a response.
Jenna kissed at the tears that fell, making me cry more. “It’s okay. I understand that you aren’t sure but you will be eventually. Let’s go to sleep, now. We can deal with this tomorrow.”
During the next week Jen put herself through a gauntlet to prove herself to me. The first day she ordered me a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers. The second day she took me to my favorite little restaurant, where she insisted on paying. And the other five days she spent trying to convince me that she knew me better than anyone, which I didn’t doubt. What I was unsure of was her feeling towards me but every time she felt my hesitation she would kiss me. Now matter where we were she would plant one on me. It didn’t matter if we were alone in my house or in the middle of a crowded store. On the night of the seventh day we were sitting on my couch watching one of my favorite movies, a sappy chick flick, when I got the heavy feeling that everything between us was a lie. Okay, so she knew my favorite movie and flower and desserts but did that mean she was ready? Would I be okay if she wasn’t?
“What is it?” she asked when she felt me stiffen behind her, she was lying in my lap.
“I don’t think I can do this, Jen.” I tried to speak clearly but my voice trembled.
“What are you talking about? You love this movie.” The look on her face broke my heart. She looked hurt and lost but mostly hurt.
“I don’t mean the movie. I mean this. Us.” My words seemed to cut into her. Her facial expression changed to something I had never seen before. She looked betrayed.
“Why don’t you believe that I really love you? I don’t know how else to prove it. I don’t know what else to do for you to believe me?” Jen stood sharply from the couch and turned her back to me.
I hung my head in my hands. “You don’t get it do you, Jenna?”
“Get what, damn it?” She yelled as she turned back around to face me. The pain in her voice killed me inside.
“I’m not the one that has to believe it. You are. I will always love you, Jen. No matter what. But you have to be sure because we can’t just go back to the way we were before.” I looked down at the ground in front of me and I didn’t move. Jen walked back over to me and grabbed my face in her hands.
“I don’t want to go back. I want this.” She pulled me up to her and she kissed me again but this kiss was different from all the others. She didn’t pull away from me after a moment. She pressed harder against me and I kissed back. When she finally let me go, she laughed. “You are a pretty good kisser when you put a little effort into it.”
That was all the invitation that I needed. I felt it. The moment of clarity. I finally felt that she cared as much as I did. I don’t know how to explain it but it was there. Her love was finally there. I grabbed her and kissed her again. This time I licked at her lips and she opened her mouth to my wandering tongue. I had never kissed anyone the way I was kissing Jenna. I was in no hurry. We had forever. I explored her mouth slowly and soon her tongue made it’s way into my mouth and we began kissing in earnest. We eventually get short of breath and I reluctantly had to relinquish my hold of her mouth.
“You want to go to bed?” I asked with a devilish smile. Jen’s face took an immediate turn for the worse and my heart sank in my chest. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way after all. She would make out with me but she wouldn’t go to bed with me.
“It’s only 10 o’clock.” she mumbled softly. I decided to give her one more chance, thinking that maybe she was just a little unsure of my intentions.
I leaned up close to her and whispered into her ear. “That’s the point, beautiful.” Jen froze and I watched as she looked horrified at the thought of sleeping with me. I grabbed her and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay.” I let her go and made my way upstairs. First I changed out of my jeans and top then I changed my soaked panties. Kissing Jen was hot to say the least. I pulled on an old concert t-shirt and crawled into bed. I stared out the window and thought about what would’ve happened if Jen had gone with me to bed. I thought about peeling the clothes off of her gorgeous form. I imagined kissing every inch of her immaculate body. I dreamed of touching her everywhere I could get my hands. But in the end I shrugged the thoughts away and focused on the fact that I was alone in my bed. Alone.
“Can I talk to you?” I heard Jen say from the door way. I stayed silent, hoping that she would think that I was sleeping. But she knew better. “Liv, please talk to me.”
“Yeah.”
“I know you are upset…”
“Upset? Why would I be upset? You don’t want to sleep with me. Why would that upset me?” I complained without turning to face her. I knew I shouldn’t be so mad at her but I couldn’t help it. I had wanted her for years and when I was finally within reach she shot me down.
“Liv, it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t… I have never…” her voice trailed off and I turned around to see what had happened to her. Tears were streaming down her face and I shot up and hugged her. No matter how angry I was, I loved her.
“It’s alright, Jenna. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I will wait until you’re ready.” I kissed her head but she forced me to look at her while she struggled to control her sobs.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I haven’t been with anyone since…” it finally dawned on me. She hadn’t been with anyone since her stepfather had raped her. I felt like a monster for being angry at her.
“Oh baby. I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I fluttered kissed all over her cheek and forehead begging her to forgive me.
“I want to be with you but I don’t know what to do.” She eventually confessed. I smiled and pulled her down into the bed with me. We made our way under the covers and began kissing like we had been earlier. She was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. We made out like a couple of teenagers for hours before finally Jen moved away slightly. “Can I touch you?” she asked sheepishly. My heart soared and I pulled off my shirt leaving me in only a bra and panties. My hands cradled her head softly as we kissed again, this time with her hands gingerly placed on my chest, over my bra. She really didn’t know what to do but that made no difference. Having her touch me was like my dream come true. And although it might disappoint the interested reader, all we did that night was kiss. She felt me up a bit over my bra but I didn’t push her any farther. I would have to take another road with her and it didn’t involve ravaging her at my first whim. It would take a finer touch. It would take some planning but in the end all I had was time.
The next night I put my plan in motion. After we returned for work I had a large meal set at the table. We dined while making small talk. We spoke of stories of our past and plans for our future. I no longer doubted the sincerity of her feelings. If she was sure then I would be too. After dinner I sent her to take a bath, alone, while I got our room ready. My room was no longer mine, it was ours. Everything I had was ours and vise versa. She even said that that damned dog was ours, although I would’ve preferred if she retained full ownership, but I eventually came around to it and I grew to care deeply for that mutt. But continuing. While Jen bathed, I filled the room with candles. So many candles that I lost count. There were dozens of small candles on every surface that I could fit them. (Except the bed. Bedding and flames make me nervous.) Next came the music. I put on some soft music, more for atmosphere than for actual listening. I stripped out of my clothes next and changed into a matching red lace bra, panties and garter set but I modestly hid them under a silk robe. I waited while Jen bathed and although it only took her about 20 minutes it felt like an eternity to me. But when she finally emerged in only a robe and a flimsy towel in her head I smiled. She was gorgeous, even with no makeup. Her hair was a mess when the towel tumbled from her head. She stood in shock as she watched me move closer to her. I wrapped my arm around her waist and I pulled her close to me.
“I want this to be perfect for you.” I whispered to her before I kissed her softly. There was no urgency in that kiss. No hurry, no rush. Just love. I wanted her memory of that night to have no ties with anything negative. I wanted her to remember our first time together as perfect.
“I don’t deserve you.” she murmured as we continued to kiss.
“You’re right, you deserve much more.” I replied while leading her to the bed. I instructed her to lie on her stomach and she agreed reluctantly, she was beyond nervous. I retrieved some body oils from the night stand and (after removing the robe) I made a painstakingly slow job of rubbing it into her body all over. She was still nervous about being in front of me completely naked but I whispered soft things into her ear as my hands worked slowly and skillfully along her body. After maybe an hour of rubbing I sat up in the bed languidly. The rest of the night would depend on her. “What do you want to happen next?” I asked. “If you want this to continue then tell me and I will show you a little surprise but if you want to stop we can do that too. I love you no matter which you choose.”
She reached for the blanket and covered herself while she sat and looked at me for a moment, obviously contemplating her choices. A sly smile crossed her lips. It made my panties wet. “What kind of surprise?”
I stood back and toyed with the belt that tied my robe together. “Do you really want to continue? We don’t have to.” she nodded but I got serious. “Are you sure? We have forever to do this.”
“Tonight is perfect. Now show me what’s under that robe.” I didn’t need more invitation than that, I pulled off my robe and did a quick spin in my red lace outfit. “You are gorgeous.” She said as her eyes went wide. “But you still look a bit over dressed.”
“Do you want to do the honors?” I asked. She nodded and I crawled into the bed next to her. We kissed passionately and her hands found their way to the clasp of my bra sheepishly. The harder we kissed the more sure she was of her self. Her fingers fumbled at my bra, she obviously had no experience removing another woman’s bra. But I loved it. I loved how inexperienced she was. I loved knowing that I had forever to teach her.
“Oh god, I love you, Liv.” She said when she finally unsnapped my bra. I had to suppress the tears that tried to fall from my eyes. I had dreamed of that moment for so long. I had dreamed of touching her and of having her want to touch me. I had dreamed of those words.
Jen pushed me back a bit and peeled the bra off of my body. She paused and stared at me for a minute. She seemed to hesitate but I waited.
“I don’t know.” she whispered. My heart sank and I felt like crying but I didn’t. I sat back and smiled.
“Don’t worry about it. We don’t have to do this.” I said gently as I took her hands in mine. I kissed her fingers.
“No. I do want to do this. I just don’t know… what to do.” she confessed. I almost laughed but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“How about this, you let me take care of you then you can see what you’re comfortable with? If you want me to stop just say so.” She gave me a nod and I eased her back into the bed. I slipped out of the red clothing. I crawled into the bed over her and kissed her gently. I leaned down slightly so that she could feel my breasts touching hers. My hard nipples rubbing into her flesh. I kissed and sucked gently at her neck. She pressed me hard onto her but I remained gentle. I knew how careful I had to be. I couldn’t do anything to scare her.
I found my way to her fleshy breasts and I kissed them slowly. Making a painstaking job of furthering her arousal. She moaned loudly as I licked around her nipple and she gave a sharp intake of breath when I finally closed my mouth around it. I had never been so happy in all my life. No one had ever made my heart flutter the way Jenna did.
I kissed lower, around her flat yet yielding stomach. She breathed erratically and lifted her hips, trying to increase our contact. I took the opportunity and slid my arms under her small frame. Essentially hugging her. I licked and kissed at her soft skin until she was panting. I nuzzled my face on her stomach after one final kiss.
“You doing okay, Jen?” I asked softly. I needed her to control things, no matter how bad I wanted to.
“I’m good.” She said slightly out of breath.
I continued my work, moving slowly. Inch by inch, I moved my way to her hips until only my tongue was moving on her. She tangled her fingers into my hair and pulled me tightly to her body. My arms were still wrapped around her body, not at her waist. I bit at her slightly exposed hip bone and she laughed briefly. Her laughing stopped when I moved my head between her thighs. I let go of my hold on her body and raked my fingernails along the insides of her legs, kissing and licking as I went. When I finally reached her pussy, it was dripping sweet syrupy fluids onto my bed. I had succeeded in my task to arouse her.
“You good, baby?” I asked one final time. Jen answered me by lifting her hips and pressing her wet sex towards me. I took that as my cue and began kissing her most private of areas. Her fingers were in my hair once again and she tried guiding me. But I was the one with the experience and it was my job to please her. I grabbed her hands in mine and held them on either side of her on the bed. I wasn’t pinning her, I was holding her hands. Our fingers were locked together gently, there was nothing controlling about it.
I licked the length of her slit before concentrating on her clit, not having my hands put me at a deficit but I was managing just fine. I knew when Jen was getting close to orgasm. Her hold on my hands tightened, leaving my knuckles white and starved for blood. Her hips started to move with my mouth, grinding on me. Then suddenly her back arched, she squeezed my hands tightly, and moaned a slur of words I didn’t understand. Her body went rigid but I kept on the course, sucking her clit into my mouth while running my tongue along it. When her body finally relaxed and her breathing came in short gasps I crawled back up her body and laid next to her, still holding her hands.
“You okay?” I asked as I kissed along her neck as she continued trying to regulate her breaths.
I got a weary nod from her and I smiled. “I love you.” she murmured.
“I love you too, beautiful.” I continued to kiss along her neck and shoulders until she was completely relaxed. She then let go of my hands and held onto my neck, trying to guide me to her mouth. Our lips met, this time with a totally different context. It was sweet and gentle and I felt I could live that moment over everyday for the rest of my life. With some luck maybe I would. I knew she could taste herself on my mouth and tongue.
“I want to do something for you.” Jen told me as soon as I resumed my work on her shoulder. I kissed her lips once more and silenced her.
I went back to kissing her neck, more licking actually. My hands were working freely around her body, touching and rubbing everywhere I could get my hands. I reached between her legs and slowly rubbed up and down her still moist pussy. She moaned and pulled my head to her mouth. Then she kissed me passionately while I dipped my middle finger into her. She gasped into my mouth as I started moving my hand in and out of her, slowly fucking her. I used the heel of my hand to rub her clit as my hand continued to move in her. She tried her best to continue kissing me but at some points she could do little more then moan. But I didn’t mind.
“Oh god.” she moaned after a few minuted of having my hand buried in her. “I’m gonna come… right there… please don’t stop…”
I moved my hand a little faster and I rubbed against her a little harder. She lolled her head back and I used the opportunity to kiss and suck on her exposed neck while her pussy convulsed around my fingers. She hugged my neck tightly as I continued to lick and suck on her neck. She lay panting under me, when I finally rolled over onto my back next to her. I slowly yet meticulously licked my fingers clean.
“Are you still okay?” I asked as I rolled over onto my side to face my gorgeous friend.
“I think so.” she replied with a smile. She reached over and kissed me one final time before cuddling up next to me. She placed her head on my collar and made circles around my nipple, absentmindedly. I snaked one of my arms under her head and the other over her back onto her ass. I kneaded her flesh gently as we cuddled together.
“Hey, Liv?” she asked when I had almost fallen asleep. I kept my eyes closed but I answered.
“What’s up, baby?” I asked in return.
“When did you know?”
“Know what?” I couldn’t stop myself from rubbing her ass as we spoke, causing Jen to wiggle a bit.
“When did you know how you felt about me?”
The question caught me a bit by surprise but I tried to think of an answer. “You mean when did I know that I was in love with you?” I asked to make sure we were on the same page. Jen nodded onto my shoulder. “Well, I knew in college. I always loved you but I knew that I was in love with you a few weeks before we graduated. You couldn’t sleep one night and when you got into my bed I realized how worried I was about you and how much I loved you. That night I realized that I had probably been in love with you since you walked into my dorm-room.”
“I was just wondering. You know I love you, right?” Jen kissed my chest, right over my heart. It was the most loving act I had ever seen in my life. The actual movement meant nothing, it was nothing special and it could’ve been duplicated on any other body part. But the way she smiled and touched her lips to my chest felt like she had reached my actual heart and I loved her for it.
“Yes, I know.” I grabbed her ass harder and used it to pulled her up to me slightly so that I could kiss her.
“What happens now, Liv?” she asked when she was once again comfortable on my chest.
“What happens now is that we are going to bed then when I wake up, I’m going for seconds.” I laughed and reached between her. “Everything else we can deal with as it comes.”
“It’s not really seconds you know. You’ve already been there twice maybe it’s my turn soon.” Jen kissed me again, this time rather close to my nipple. It sent shivers through me. Her tongue snaked out and flicked my hard nipple. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
“You must have missed the memo, beautiful, we are going to bed. Tomorrow my body is yours to do with as you please.” I played with her hair while she laughed at me.
“Okay. But I’m not done yet, I like the way your skin tastes.” Jen locked her mouth nipple and sucked hard. I bit my lip to contain the moan that threatened to escape my mouth. When Jen finally let go she looked up at me with an evil smile. “You okay, baby?” she asked in her most patronizing voice. I didn’t know whether to kiss her or push her off the bed.
“You are one step away from sleeping with that damn dog, young lady.” I said in as stern a voice as I could manage through my laughter.
“Oh you’re threatening me now, are you?” Jen looked slightly amused as she rolled me over onto my back and laid her body on top of me with her head on my chest. She used her arms as pillows so she could stare right at me. “By all means, go to sleep now.”
Once again I was torn between kissing her full succulent lips and just tossing her over onto the ground. She was adorable. She looked at me the way I had always hoped she would. With a half smile and loving eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and shifted her so that she was half on me and half next to me. Her face was right next to mine and I kissed her gently. Our lips pressed for a minute before I pulled away but I enjoyed it so much that I did it over and over and over again. Jen brought her hand to my face and moved the hair back softly so she could look at me.
“I love you.” she said one final time as she wrapped her arm around me.
“I’ll love you forever.” I told her with a few more gently place kisses. We both fell asleep soon after that. I was in no rush or hurry to get her to do anything to me; we had forever and forever is a very long time.