Loading...I finished loading box #35. Who would believe the amount of crap you can collect over twenty five years? Well, really thirty two but twenty five in this house. Some of it easy to toss. Some of it not so much. Memories. Man, they stack up. Just like the boxes lining the garage. But, life has changed. I mean really changed.
Thirty two years of marriage gone in less than a year of a tragic, terrible diagnoses followed by non-helpful, non-curing, painful chemotherapy and then – she was gone.
All the brightness, all the laughter, all the sparkling beauty not really diminished but snuffed out at the age of fifty five.
And now a life change. Out of the three thousand foot house on the golf course. Nice view, but shit, I never played golf, we just loved the green view that we never had to mow. A couple of months after June died I had gone back to the ad agency I run. It was always fun, now it was therapy as well. The garage sale got rid of useless crap and chochkies, the rest would go to the new apartment and some in storage.
Thank God for Lisa. The woman is a machine. She runs my office more as a right hand than a secretary or personal assistant or some such drivel. And since June’s cancer got really bad, she was a moral support as well. Taking the calls, coming to the house, running the business really for the two months after June died and I did a tailspin.
Movers coming tomorrow. Kids had stayed after the funeral, but they have lives to lead and kids of their own. They live from LA to NY. So, I refused to let them come back once I decided I could not handle living in that house all alone. I finally convinced them that honest, even at fifty seven, I can really handle a move by myself. And Lisa told them that she would be there, of course.
Lisa was in her late forties, maybe fifty, I think. I mean frankly I never really asked. She passed HR five years ago with flying colors, aced an interview with me during which I never looked at her application. She was almost as tall as me, not a big deal since I am a strapping five foot nine inches.
If you asked me what June looked like before cancer ravaged her, I could probably spend an hour describing as much of her physical attributes as you cared to hear and then take off on her accomplishments and personality.
But Lisa? She was there, at the desk, on the phone and then at the house constantly . She was married before – I know that and no kids. Why? That I do not know. What did she look like? Wow. That took some thought. Let’s see. Brown hair? I guess. Built? Yeah, I guess. She is a runner as am I, so being human I have looked at her legs. Sturdy. She had nice breasts, not that small but she did not feature them in her clothes. Yes, I looked. Like I said, I’m human.
She insisted on coming on this Saturday morning to check that all was ready for the movers that afternoon. “Lisa!” I said when she called, “not necessary. I know where I want everything to go and these guys are the pros.”
Her smooth, always deep voice came back, “Bill, I know you know. But a friendly helping hand is not going to hurt and I’ve got nothing going Saturday after my run.”
She started calling me by my first name after she and June got friendly before June got sick. Now, I have to admit, hers was the only voice I wanted to hear, the only other soul I could stand being in constant touch.
I mean, the kids are great, but they are suffering loss too and it is still just too present. I knew Lisa would handle the move like she handled the office and while June’s presence would be there in my thoughts, I was glad to have the companionship.
Sure enough, right after my morning coffee in the last remaining cup, she showed up with bagels and cream cheese and more hot coffee. She knocked at the front door and there she was – baseball cap on her head, tee shirt and running shorts, Asics on her feet.
“Don’t gawk, dude!” She cried in that deep voice. “Take the freaking coffee and tell me what has to be done.”
I guess it was the first time I really looked at her. Don’t ask me why it was that moment. The cap had a long bill, but I could see those brown eyes flashing and the neat little creases in her cheeks as she smiled. When we sat at the kitchen counter, for the first time I noticed very white teeth and full voluptuous lips as they tore into the bagel. As she stood and stretched – yeah the breasts were large enough to bring the tee shirt up over her shorts and revealed a stomach that I swear was hiding a six pack.
The movers showed on time, two burly guys, two smaller ones and the truck was packed in under two hours. “Bill!” Lisa called from the driveway. “Give me the keys to the apartment and you stay and vacuum and clean up. I’ll meet you there.”
I leaned out the front door. She was standing with her hands on her hips watching the final loading carefully. “But…” I called.
She trotted up the driveway to me. “I got this! After all, it was me and that gal at the leasing office who really found this place, right? So – clean up and then come over.”
She was right of course. She did pick out the one with the garden patio – a two bedroom where one was going to be my home office. She turned and trotted down the driveway. Damn! For a woman her age, that was a really tight little ass!
Now, let me stop right here. My wife was really ill for six months. Fading daily. So, it was a little more than that since I have had sex. I am still in a state of grief, but I am also still a man. Got it? Yes, Lisa Melnick had a tight ass, great boobs and a luscious mouth. Said it.
I finished vacuuming and making the place “broom clean” for the realtor to come on Monday. In the three weeks it had taken me to find an apartment and decide I just had to get out of that house, couple of lookers – no bites. Oh well.
By four o’clock that afternoon, Lisa and the movers with a little nudge here and there from me had the apartment looking like it could really be lived in. Couch and chairs in the living room gathered around the black cocktail table, new expandable dining room table in with chairs, bed in place waiting to be made – kitchen cabinets full. Ditto the fridge. Just a load of boxes in my new home office to be opened and fill the office.
I sat down in one of the wing chairs facing the couch, which faced the flat screen. Lisa flopped in the other one. “Well done Miss Melnick!” I said.
“You too, Mr. Kraft,” She replied.
“Look,” I said leaning toward her. “If you’ve got to be somewhere – you are way beyond the call of duty for today, lady.”
She leaned in towards me, the deep brown eyes lasered in on mine. “I am a single lady, once divorced as you well know, sir. With no significant other and an open Saturday night. Can I just sit and relax a minute? Besides I must smell like I just ran a marathon.”
I was still wearing the old New York Marathon tee shirt and sweat pants in which I started the day. “Wow! Never gave that a thought. I stuck my head into the tee shirt. “Whew! How the hell do we stand each other?”
We both laughed.
“Well,” I gestured, “Umm…the towels are already in the closet. I think you put the soap in the stall shower, right?”
She nodded.
“Well then,” I shrugged, “umm…go take a shower. I’ll open a box or two, okay?”
She gave me a sweet look with her head cocked to the side and stood. “So, you’re not going to send me home all dirty and sweaty?”
“Not unless you want to leave.”
She gave me the throaty laugh and headed for the master bathroom.
****
I had just unpacked the first office box and began to load my desk when I felt the presence behind me. I stood and turned around. She was wrapped in a large white towel. Somehow she looked smaller, although in bare feet she couldn’t have been much shorter than in running shoes.
She smiled and I swear a little pink began to show on her cheeks. “I didn’t bring any other clothes.”
I realized I was staring at her. “Umm…I don’t really have any…”
She came a little closer. “I’m really comfortable this way, but if it makes you…”
I shook my head and began to smile. “Well no, I don’t think uncomfortable gets it, quite.”
She moved a step closer. “Well then, Mr. Kraft, what does ‘get it'”?
Now I have to tell you. Like I said. I’m fifty seven. I like, make that love, sex – well, more lovemaking, really. But once in a while it is tough to get it up. I mean even the last time June and I tried before she got too sick and tired to even think of sex, I couldn’t. Tried but couldn’t. And now, standing here in an office packed with boxes, with a woman with whom I have worked for five years with no physical reaction of any kind – I am getting a fucking hard on!
She stopped about a foot away. Her hands were folded in front of her. “Ya know? I stammered. “I think I better get a shower myself. Mind?”
She tilted her head like she always did when thinking over a question I would ask. “If that does it for you – go! Did we put the wine in the cabinet?”
“If it’s there, it is because you did,” I said, walking around her and into the short hall to the bathroom. I went in, closed the door and took a deep breath, There, piled neatly on the floor were Lisa’s clothes. Shoes on the bottom, then shorts, then damp tee shirt, then bra and panties. Now, for God sake, don’t ask me why! I picked up the bra and held it out. About a thirty four C. I picked up the lace panties. And then, Goddam it! I put them up to my face and took a deep breath in. I did!
I slid out of my stuff and jumped in the shower. The soap was still wet. Yeah, it felt funny washing my crotch with soap so recently doing the same thing to Lisa. The thought started to give me half a heavy. God! Maybe I’m not dead after all!
•****
When I came out of the bathroom, wearing a pullover sports shirt and some baggy shorts, I heard soft music coming from the television set which had been set up in the madness of moving in by the local cable guys. I stopped at the new washer and dryer and dropped Lisa’s sweaty clothes in with mine. I turned on the washer and moved the few steps into the living room.
She was curled up on one end of the couch, head back, holding a glass of red wine. The Merlot bottle was on the black lacquer cocktail table and a full wine glass was on the table at the other end of the couch. She opened her eyes when I sat down and smiled. “Feeling better?” She asked in a low voice.
I smiled at her and nodded. I don’t know why, but it just did not seem awkward sitting her with Lisa Melnick, my executive assistant with whom all of our relationship, while friendly, was strictly business. Until today. But there she was, curled up on my couch, wine glass in hand, wearing nothing more than an oversized towel.
She leaned over just a bit and touched my wrist. I did not remember the last time we had touched each other. I mean after five years we don’t exactly shake hands every morning! But the electricity that shot through my body made me recoil.
“Sorry!” I said. “you startled me.”
Lisa drew back. “No – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Now I reached out and grabbed her hand, It was warm and a bit moist. “Lisa – it’s just – well, funny thing…I don’t think we’ve ever touched before. It was like ‘wow!’ But no, were you going to say something.”
We were still holding hands. She squeezed mine. Strong grip. “Just – Bill – how are you really doing?”
I looked into those dark eyes. “I…I fucking don’t know.” I felt the tears start to come up. “Sorry – but you touching me – the warmth – I’ve been – goddam it! Lonely. If you weren’t here right now…”
She grabbed my hand even tighter and scooted closer to me. Her other hand came up and she laid it on my cheek. “Bill. You know how much I respect you. How much I’ve always admired you. I’ve wanted to reach out ever since June got sick – but I never wanted to cross a line.”
She leaned a little closer and the top of the towel began to open. I got a glance at two upright, taught breasts. I reached out impulsively, took my other hand and laid it on her right breast. It was warm to the touch. I felt the nipple and it got hard. I stopped looking at the breast and looked back at her.
She was still staring at me, her eyes wide open and her lips parted. I pulled my hand back and put it on her cheek. “Oh God! Lisa – I’m sorry – it’s just…”
She took my hand and put it back on her breast. The towel began to drop away. “Just what?” Her eyes were half closed.
Suddenly we were all over each other. The towel fell to the floor. My shirt came up over my shoulders and dropped on the towel. I was lying on my back with her naked body on top of me. My hands reached back and grabbed her butt cheeks – taught little cheeks and pulled her into me. Our lips were locked in a kiss that saw my tongue and hers getting to know each other.
She sat back, took a deep breath and smiled. My hands reached up and encircled her breasts. God! They are magnificent! She shuddered, scooted back on the couch. My hands lost contact. She reached down and pulled my shorts down to my ankles. My penis stood at half-mast. She looked at me and smiled. She reached down and put her soft little hand around my not quite hard shaft. She began to stroke me slowly.
Bingo! Up it came! Oh my God! I have a full sized boner! A goddam hard on!
I started to sit up and she pushed me back down. She scooted back and put her hands under my knees. Then she leaned forward and I felt the flick of her tongue on the tip of my penis. It was another electric shock. Suddenly my penis was inside her mouth and her tongue was licking and swirling and her lips were pulling and my back was arching and I felt it begin deep within me and I didn’t want to – not yet – but it had been so long that I ….came!
She didn’t stop until the sensitivity was too much for me and I had to reach down and pull her head back. I sat up and held her head in both my hands. “God – Lisa, I’m so sorry – it’s just that it’s been so long and I…”
She put a soft hand on my lips. “Sweet – shush. I know. And I have wanted you for months but would never show it, certainly not while June was still with us and today, well today I felt it and you felt it and I had to show you that I understand and this was a…”
I pulled her to me and kissed her and put both my arms around her and pulled her down on top of me once more. “I don’t know why, sweet lady – but I never realized that you felt that way and I am such a schmuck that I didn’t realize what was happening to me. Caught up in grief and confusion and suddenly tonight when I touched your hand…”
“It happened to me too. And I am so glad.” She buried her head in my shoulder and began to cry, softly.
I lay there for a full two or three minutes until the crying stopped. Then I slowly rolled her over and climbed off the couch. She wiped her eyes and looked up at me. I reached down and picked her up in my arms. She did not resist. She said nothing. I carried her into the bedroom. The bed had nothing on it but a mattress cover. I laid her on the bed and looked down. She was beautiful. Lying on her back, she looked up at me. I reached down and put my hand on her stomach. That taught beautiful stomach. She put her hand on my wrist and moved my hand lower.
I felt the little rim of pubic hair. She pushed my hand some more. Her legs slowly spread. I reached down and was stroking her damp vagina with my thumb. Her legs came farther apart, I slipped my thumb further in, turned my hand and my index finger joined my thumb. Slowly I stroked and watched as her nipples got hard and she started to breathe faster.
She reached up and grabbed my other arm and pulled me on top of her. My hand slipped out of her and I was on top of her. She reached down and grabbed my penis. Oh God! It was getting hard again! It had been years since…
She slid my penis inside her. She was wet and I was incredibly hard again. Slowly I began to move on top of her – in and out, in and out, faster and faster. Her legs wrapped around me and she began to squeeze just above my hips. She thrust herself up and I went deeper. She began to writhe and move faster. Her hips thrust up at me in perfect rhythm.
I felt her fingers dig into my back. She muttered and then let out a huge breath and began to shudder. Her whole body writhed, her hips pushed higher. She grasped me even tighter. “Bill!” She screamed. “Oh God!” She screamed. And then together with one rising, writhing, clutching motion we both climaxed, together.
I lay on top of her panting. She moved her hand to my head and stroked my balding pate. “Oh, thank you.” She whispered.
I looked down at her. There were tears in her eyes again. “No lady,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
o*****
After a quick supper of scrambled eggs, some ham and coffee, we sat at the new dining room table just looking at each other. “Lisa,” I began.
“Shush,” she said quietly. “It’s too soon, too early. Promise me – not a word. Let’s take tomorrow to regroup – alone. Monday when we see each other at the office we’ll know – one way or the other. I’m glad you thought to dry my stuff during dinner. I’m going to get out of this towel, put clothes on and go. Please darling – not even a kiss goodbye.
And that was what happened. No call either way that Sunday. We worked together on Monday and for the next five months. Yes, one week after “moving day” we went out to dinner, back to her place and made delicious love. During the next five months I began to feel like a whole human and Lisa seemed to blossom.
That was five years ago. Whoever said that love and marriage was better the second time around had it right. Dead right.