Tommy Crago looked through bloodshot eyes at the hard-eyed blonde as she berated him for not being ready to do again and said what a fucking waste of time he was because she wanted to rumble till morning.
Looking at the beside clock Tommy saw it was only 9:45 and was hugely relieved the 27-year old, young enough to be his daughter, was ready to cart her over-demanding pussy home. Who at his age wish to fuck all night, um in reality?
“Don’t bother about getting up,” Donna-Marie said as she stuffed her panties, bra, stockings and shoes into her backpack. “I’ll see myself out.”
“Don’t forget to ensure the door locks.”
“Up yours grandpa,” said the ungrateful bitch who’d devoured a seventy-buck lobster at the restaurant and had emptied a full bottle of champagne.
Tommy had picked her up in a bar, although thinking back he decided she’d made the play. She’d called herself Anastasia but when he’d laughed and said bullshit she’d said no her name was Donna-Marie. He had no idea if that were true and she’d not offered a surname but did it matter? Did it ever matter?
Next day Tommy awoke without his usual morning erection… Donna-Marie in two fucks had drained a fortnight’s vitality from him. Er until he next saw a good pair of tits. And hour later a woman from Follow the Sun Tours called and said in a voice that sounded young enough to be his granddaughter, “Mr Crago I see from our records it’s three and a half years since we sent you and Mrs Crago anywhere. I think it’s time you looked at our travel options that could interest you guys.”
“Think what you like. Mrs Crago died two years ago. Thank you for calling,” he said, snapping his phone shut. Cheeky bitch.
Ten minutes later he took a call from the South Pacific manager of Follow the Sun Tours.
“Mr Crago we apologize for Katie our trainee’s blunder. It was unforgivable.”
He replied it was okay. “She wasn’t to know.”
“Oh Mr Crago, how generous of you. We have a South Pacific special at a discount of 15% running this month but in view of the aforesaid embarrassment over your late wife, may I offer you a discount of 50% on all travel and land travel you book through us providing you commit within ten days from today.”
“I’m Lara Sweetman. Where would you like to go Mr Cargo?”
“I haven’t a clue. You book me somewhere for fourteen days including flights and call back for a time when I can call to finalize.”
“Oh Mr Crago. How wonderful. I’ll do you proud.”
She had a lovely voice. Tommy thought if she only fucked once before sleep and once in the morning he could be really interested. He then thought probably she was a pregnant church usher so that thought took a dive.
Two weeks later Tommy arrived at Christchurch in the South Island of New Zealand, very tired and disoriented. He went to the hotel after the overnight flight and slept all day, woke for dinner followed by an hour’s walk that left him with good impressions. He then watched some forgettable TV and then slept till dawn. It was late spring and the birds were nesting and no doubt the hems of women’s skirts and dresses were rising higher and necklines would be scooped lower. He associated that trend with spring.
Tommy had breakfast on the terrace and saw a woman in black look in his direction. She’d been on the same flight from Chicago to LA and again on the flight from LA to New Zealand. Was she an assassin for CIA or a relentless IRS officer?
He nodded and the rude bitch looked away without responding.
She looked under his age; he was fifty-five and retired for two years, thanks to the wealth he’d inherited from Trudy, his second wife, who’d aged thirty-seven had been killed during a supermarket hold-up. Silly bitch. Instead of handing over loot she’d kneed the thug crowding her in the balls and as he fell stuck him fatally behind the ear with the metal cash box she was refusing to hand over. His accomplice almost removed Trudy’s head, giving her both barrels of a shotgun. Tommy had been at home cleaning the toilets but according to media reports the murderer then fell to the ground blubbering. Two supermarket managers seized and held him till the police arrived. Trudy was posthumously hailed as a heroine and the supermarket and its insurers paid out heaps into her estate, with Tommy being the sole beneficiary.
He had really missed Trudy for the first eighteen months but now he was chasing sluts, her memory had faded considerably.
The campervan company’s pick-up bus arrived and the woman in black was seated just in front of Tommy but failed to acknowledge him as a fellow traveler. He wondered if she were a marriage counselor who ignored unaccompanied men.
At the office of the campervan company the woman behind the counter looked at the final two clients, checked her list and turning a little pale said “Jesus.”
Tommy thought that was an unlikely name for a woman in black or her city of origin.
“We’ve screwed up. We’re one campervan short.”
The woman gave Tommy and the woman she introduced to him as Mrs Laurel King a cup of coffee and asked them to sort out who’d have the campervan. There was a run on rental vehicles because of the huge international event at the alpine tourist resort of Queenstown. Therefore it was unlikely another camper could be found in Christchurch during the next few days. One of then could hire a car and a tent.
Rather than sit in silence Tommy asked the fellow American, “Where do you come from?”
“Rockford Illinois. What about you?”
“Is that in the Deep South?”
“It’s about 250 miles south of you, a one and a half hour drive in from St Lois.”
“Then it’s in Illinois?”
“Yes it was an early capitol of the state. How do you expect to find your way around New Zealand if you don’t know you way round your home state?”
“God you are rude. I navigate on a need to know basis but it do know my way round in the north according to where relatives live and where department stores are located.”
She almost scowled and said, “You are one of those men who sneer at women who are interested in shopping aren’t you?”
“No it’s just that I’m an admirer of the female logic.”
She looked at him closely and he smiled innocently.
Tommy sighed and said he would take a car and tent.
“You seem quite nice. Do you snore?”
“Can’t say I’ve heard myself do that.”
She nodded and asked did he pass wind excessively.
“Only on the John.”
Tommy remained silent, guessing what she was thinking.
Finally she said, “I’m willing to share.”
He was ready with his answer. “What about the embarrassment of watching me undress?”
She looked him straight in the eye and said, “If I see something I haven’t seen before I’d be surprised.”
Tommy held her gaze and they both ended up grinning. They stood and returned to the counter.
As they left the depot Laurel said, “To tell you this truth this is a godsend. I could make myself partly paralyzed just by thinking of driving one of these things.”
“Then you would have been.”
“Terrified when driving one of these things. You’d set yourself up for failure.”
Laurel thought about that. “Like many men you appear to talk in shorthand but what you have just said makes absolute sense to me. I have been a nurse most of my working life, working mostly in accident and emergency but for the past six years I’ve managed a post-operative facility for infirm patients, mostly the elderly. I was going fine till six months ago when my husband deserted me.”
“Going off with your best friend?”
“No his best friend, a guy.”
She smiled thinly. “I suffered a confidence collapse and resigned my post. I have come out of it and decided to come here on a solo adventure to boost my confidence and independence and here I am, having just taken a huge risk by teaming up with a stranger.”
Tommy grinned and said that could be to her advantage.
She smiled and reaching across grabbed his ear lobe and waggled it.
He now felt very much aligned with Mrs Laurel King who yawned and was soon dozing as he headed north up the coast. She’d said to go anywhere he wanted so he’d decided to stick to his planned itinerary. First over-night stop was Hanmer Springs, a fairly easy two-hour ‘shakedown’ drive two hours away. The South Island was marginally larger than Illinois at 58,384 sq mi but the island was much more mountainous with plains confined to coastal areas.
He glanced at his dozing companion. Her hair was colored in three shades of brown and her chops were a little meaty but she was still good looking and he felt if she gave him the opportunity he could bring sparkle to her hazel eyes. The mouth was pleasantly large, good for kissing and anything else she had in mind.
The boobs were the bouncy type.
The belly was showing age roundness as was her ass and she appeared to have beautifully shaped legs.
Her personality was only just beginning to emerge. That ear waggle indicated she was not afraid to demonstrate emotion when she allowed herself to ride with the flow. For a woman she was taking an extraordinary risk embarking on a closely confined tour with a male stranger. Tommy resolved not to disappoint her.
“Laurel,” he called, shaking her gently by the shoulder, resisting the urge to see it she would be thrilled to have been shaken awake with him wobbling a boob.
“Oh hi. Where are we?”
“Outside a café at the rural servicing town of Amberley, an hour from the airport. We have been driving through some very picturesque countryside with mountains to the west. I thought you shouldn’t miss any more of it so have stopped for coffee and we’ll take a short walk.”
They arrived at the resort town of Hanmer Springs and obtained a fully serviced parking pad under trees.
“Look to save awkward situations when other travelers talk to us why don’t you call yourself Laurel Crago?”
“Good idea except why don’t you call yourself Thomas King?”
“And remind you of your jerk of a husband?”
Laurel blanched and said Laurel Crago was fine. “Um what is the situation about sex?”
“I’m glad you brought that up. Is that what you were thinking when dozing?”
Laurel’s color was back, actually a little excessively.
He smiled and her lips parted, so he kissed her.
“Oh you kiss so beautifully,” she cooed.
So they kissed again for confirmation.
“Let’s discuss sleeping arrangements,” Tommy said manfully, taking the leadership role.
“I would be happy to sleep with you but if you wish sleeping as singles on the sofas would be all right I suppose. I was, er, thinking of comfort.”
“Okay and what about… what about… um?”
She smiled. “Sex? You can do whatever you wish… um within reason.”
Tommy swallowed and thought she did well to hold back her laugh to avoid embarrassing him.
The camp receptionist had suggested they hire cycles and bike down to the pools and possibly have dinner there. They liked that idea.
Laurel had her back to Tommy as she changed into her swimsuit but he could see her tits were large enough to swing when she bent over. He looked down her ass and saw the lips of a trimmed pussy.
Oh yummy. He smacked down a growing erection as he pulled on his swim shorts and then dressed into jeans and a polo and tied a light jacket round his waist.
Laurel stepped up to him after pulling on her jeans and kissed him. This time Tommy was brave enough to run a hand over a tit.
“Oooh,” Laura said. “It’s quite a while since a guy has done that to me. Shall we look at the rising nipple?”
“Yeah,” Tommy said thickly.
She smiled and said so she had a man prepared to beg for it?
Rather than reply to that nonsense Tommy slipped off the shoulder strap of her swimsuit and after examining the nipple glanced at Laurel, who was looking at him big-eyed. So he bent and sucked it and felt her arm go behind his head and push him into it tighter.
“Let’s fuck,” she whispered.
He locked the door and pulled across the curtains to block off the driving cab windscreen and by the time he reached the sofa Laurel had shed her jeans and swimsuit and was on her back teasing a tit and her pussy.
He ripped off his clothes and placed a growing erection against her lips.
“Do you think you need a condom?” she squeaked, shaking in excitement.
“No,” he said firmly.
She licked his tip and gradually swallowed some of his dick while he fiddled with her tits.
Before long Laurel pulled off his dick, freeing it with a plop, and she said, “Feed it into me now Tommy. I really want it.”
Tommy happily obliged, almost gloating as she steered it in. When fully docked he began kissing her and Laurel soon had her tongue probing into his mouth.
He was overjoyed. She was an incredibly good fuck and hadn’t objected when he pushed a wet little finger into her asshole and brought her to a massive climax that left her red-faced and panting as her pulled out and splattered over her tits and belly.
“Omigod, that was so beautiful,” she wheezed, dabbing sweat off her face. “I feel like I’m a woman again rather than a complaining, and unsmiling dummy.”
“Well you can have it as much as you wish,” Tommy said, wiping his cum off her while forgetting about that much young fuck-machine Anna-Marie who’d recently depleted him when she looked not even warmed up.
“Oooh,” Laurel cooed in appreciation.
During coming days they went on to Kaikoura about two hours north and went whale watching and then round near the top of the island and spent a night in the wine-making region of Marlborough and then spent three nights in the equally attractive tourist region of Nelson and then down the very rugged and picturesque West Coast that reminded Laurel a little of the coastline from San Francisco north.
Tommy was having such a delightful time that he changed Laurel’s flight home to coincide with his and upgraded her ticket to be with him in business class. The campervan hire firm extended their hire term.
After visiting the Fox and Franz Josef Glaciers they continued south and camped without facilities and later crossed the Southern Alps via Haast and heading southwards again went through mountainous and lake country and reached Wanaka on the edge of Lake Wanaka, an acclaimed tourist town.
Despite it being late spring there was plenty of snow and Tommy took Laurel for her first time on skis and after four hours she was doing quite okay on the gentler inclines of Treble Cone. He then went off to find some more challenging skiing while she rested in a café, sipping wine.
“Oh darling that was such…” Laurel stopped abruptly, the bit of sunburn and wine-flushed cheeks being deepened by an embarrassed flush.
“Darling is cool… I rather like it darling,” said Tommy, pausing before biting into his lamb burger.
“Omigod, I so much love skiing. It tested me terribly and eventually I felt I was getting the hang of it and you were so wonderfully patient with me and many times you saved me from falling heavily. You were so heroic.”
“And you looked the best fuck I’ve ever seen on skis, more or less,” Tommy grinned and bit into his burger again, thinking Christ why aren’t American’s big into eating lamb burgers for decent variety.
* * *
Laurel looked at Tommy as from the warmth of the café he eyed passing skiers coming off the mountain, most of them colorfully dressed and they included seniors and of course kids who should be at school. She knew what was happening to her… she was falling in love.
It had happened the second night in Nelson when they were watching the colors of sunset and Tommy had placed and arm around her, as he’d done many times before, but that time when she snuggled against him she’d felt supremely content and gave a secret smile. She felt a tenderness that had long gone from her life and she welcomed its return. She wished she could have told him about it but she was anxious not to put him into flight.
Tommy sipped coffee and she finished her wine.
“I’d love it if you really learned to ski,” Tommy said looking at three couples in a group looking ever so happy, their emotions showing.
Laurel almost choked. Oh god, Tommy was sounding as if he were thinking a longer-term relationship. She knew he was four years her senior. He was what she’d call ruggedly handsome, with plenty of lines on his face and a bald spot was beginning to show through his thinning fair hair. But the good news was he was virile and interesting and thought and talked like a younger man rather than an ageing man worrying about an uncertain future. His blue eyes could send shivers through her when she was sure he was thinking sex, um with her, and she considered him just a shade slippery but basically honest. He’d earned a black tick when he’d shoved a finger into her ass that first time without seeking consent.
She decided to take the risk. “I’m very happy being in your company Tommy and we have had a wonderful time since leaving on this great journey.”
“What has been the best thing?”
The scenery of course and the great areas of wilderness and just how isolated one could feel in New Zealand because it was so sparsely populated. But she guessed that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
Laurel framed her reply confidently. “The best thing for me has been the fucking.”
Tommy looked at her and his eyes appeared to bulge a little.
She nodded and said he must think she was awful.
“Oh yeah,” he said, positively leering.
Laurel told herself she’d hit a home run.
They’d returned all the hired gear and later back into their park-like full-serviced camping site Tommy smiled as Laurel pulled the curtains across although it was only 4:15.
“What do you wish to do?” she said innocently.
“I’ll make up the bed.”
“I was hoping you’d think that,” she said, snaking a hand round him to squeeze his ass.
Tommy was surprised to find just how wet Laurel was as the foreplay had not been excessive. They fucked missionary lazily and then she climbed on to her hands and knees and said, “Take my little hole.”
Keenly interested Tommy had to frown and say, “I should use a condom.”
“Darling look under the tea towel on the bench.”
He found a tube of lube and condoms.
“Be gentle with me Tommy. It has been a long, long time since I’ve had a dick in there. Lube my fingers.”
Tommy was only too happy to oblige and eventually Laurel had the orifice widened to accommodate her three fingers and the gap looked pliant and relaxed.
She pulled out her fingers and said, “It’s all yours.”
Once Tommy had his dick inside quite some distance and she’d ceased puffing and was relaxing, he began to work up-tempo and lengthen the thrusts. Soon she was grunting and pushing back and they were away until they collapsed into a towering crescendo after she bashed her clit into submission with good timing and screamed at him to ejaculate.
They lay back puffing, she snuggling against him and she confided, “I imagined your semen seeping out of my ass.”
“Good for you,” he laughed and squeezed her affectionately.
* * *
After that first anal excursion, as far as Tommy was concerned they were full-on lovers.
Their second week was spent driving up the North Island and they loved the volcanic-thermal activity at Rotorua and learning a bit about the native Maori culture, spending a night on Waiheke Island in the gulf just out from the country’s biggest city of Auckland and then the light-hearted banter of pretending they were part of a racing crew on a former America’s Cup class yacht.
“God that was awesome,” said the wet and chilled Laurel when they landed almost three hours later, surprising Tommy. Laurel had never before been on a yacht of any size and he’d expected her to have been terrorized as the wind had been stiff and wave slop had covered them with spray at times. But no she was fine and he really thought she wasn’t lying when saying she’d really like to do that all over again.
On the flight home he was sad about losing Laurel after having just having her. He waited for her to give him some hope of a longer relationship but she left him hanging and he didn’t feel it was his place to make the pitch because she was still married.
During the wee hours Tommy gave her something to remember him by, becoming the guy who admitted her into the notional Mile High Club. She’d felt every so naughty fucking under a blanket while everyone around them slept but had accepted Tommy’s assurance that ‘everyone does it’. When she said she’d never done it on an aircraft before and had never heard any of her friends and relatives declare they’d had mile-high sex, Tommy had laughed and said they must have been traveling on the wrong airline.
They arrived in LA tired and kissed goodbye, as Laurel was staying in LA with her sister for two nights. She invited Tommy to stay with them but he declined, saying she ought to spend some quality time with her sister.
“I’ll miss you,” Laurel said, appearing ready to cry and Tommy said well he’d reintroduced her to life and it was now up to her to seize the moment.
They looked at each other uncertainly as if willing to other to line up future dates but that moment wasn’t seized either and they had themselves to blame. Then Tommy’s flight was called, Laurel burst into tears and said she’d see him off but he told her to go to where she knew her sister would be waiting.
“It’s over Laurel, get used to it,” he smiled, hugging her with one arm and brushing aside her tears.
“I love you Tommy.”
“No you don’t; that’s just the aftermath of a romantic holiday that never could last. You’re a lovely lady Laurel and to tell you the truth I feel privileged to have been in your esteem company.”
Tommy gently unhooked and walked off and twice turned and waved and twice thought how could he bare to do this like a fucking executioner. But he knew this was for Laurel’s own good. She had to make her own way to get back on track. If she kept on using him as a prop she’d never make it. He often suspected some of his theories were crap and hoped this one was a decision of substance.
* * *
Tommy arrived home to his substantial home in a sought-after suburb and Mrs Marks from across the street knocked five minutes after his arrival and said, “It’s lovely to see you home again Mr Crago.”
“Thank you Mrs Marks. I’ve been to New Zealand.”
“Oh is that somewhere in Texas?”
“A bit further on by quite a few thousand miles.”
“Oh so you didn’t ride your bicycle there?”
“No Mrs Marks. And how is your garden?”
“Thank you for asking. It’s taken a bit of a beating from adverse weather.”
“Oh too bad. Well I must get on unpacking.”
“”Yes of course. Oh I fed your cat while you were away. She looks much fatter now.”
“Mrs Marks, I don’t have a cat or a dog or a wife or kids.”
“Oh well it looked like the kind of cat you’d have. She’s asleep in our TV room at the moment.”
“And that’s where she should be. Goodbye Mrs Marks. You are so kind.”
After dinner and feeling the loneliness of the house that had been shared so happily with his deceased wife, Tommy decided to sell. There was too much around him that reminded him too much of Trudy. Perhaps he ought to shift into one of those new condos were displaced women congregated after their divorces and were available to be taken to expensive restaurants and then to bed by any guy who had the money and firepower. He wondered what kind of house Laurel would want to live in and then gasped, “Laurel, Christ why am I thinking of her?”
Tommy felt quite shaken.
* * *
Mid morning Saturday Laurel arrived at O’Hare to find daughters Jo (Josephine) and Elizabeth waiting for her, looking sweet and excited. They would take her home to Rockford, a two-hour drive away, and stay for dinner.
The young filly Jo, only twenty-two, outstripped her 27-year sibling to reach their mother first. Big kisses were exchanged and then Elizabeth moved in for a hug and a much more sedate kiss.
“We need to plan for your fiftieth birthday mom,” Jo said, “so we’ll stay the night.”
“Oh darlings, how wonderful.”
“Mom I’m pregnant.”
Jo and Laurel gaped at Elizabeth. Laurel struggled for the right words under shock while Jo said sounding quite impressed, “I had no idea you did it beyond cunnilingus and fellatio.”
“My standard began to slip eighteen months ago,” Elizabeth confessed.
“Oh darling that’s wonderful news about pregnancy,” Laurel said, hugging Elizabeth. “Do we know him?”
“The point is does Liz know who he was?”
“Jo, apologize this instance,” Laurel fired back glad to have that diversion.
“Sorry Liz. My excitement raced away on me.”
They went for coffee but Laurel ordered mineral water for Elizabeth.
“Does he know?”
“Any complications over, um, the situation?”
“We discussed abortion.”
Laurel turned white. “And?”
“Mal is away home this weekend to discuss the situation with his parents who have always wanted him to marry the girl next door.”
Jo boggled. “You’re joking.”
“Across the street actually. The families have been close friends for more than twenty years.”
“Had Mal promised to marry the bitch?”
“Mal says the mothers have spoken about it for at least ten years. He and Muriel have had sex for as long as that, but off and on.”
“With sex don’t you mean on and off?”
Jo was ignored.
“Omigod, this could involved legal issues,” Laurel said. “No wonder your man has gone home to sort things out.”
“Unless Muriel lies she will confirm what he says and that is Mal and Muriel have never discussed a relationship extending before fucking.”
“Mom do you hear the f-word?”
“Shut up Jo, Elizabeth is stressed.”
“I’m okay mom. I’ve had a few days to get over the shakes and I’ve decided to keep the baby and be a solo mom if Mal decides not to marry me.”
“If he says no mom and I’ll go after the jerk with shotguns,” Jo said defiantly and her sister and mother smiled at her affectionately.
“Mom you’re looking fabulous,” Elizabeth said, squeezing her mom’s arm. “You look nothing like the woman who left here a less than three weeks ago.”
Laurel had decided not to tell the girls about her seducer but she’d been put into as speed wobble over the pregnancy and she blurted, “I met a man.”
Elizabeth looked horrified. “But you’re married.”
Jo snorted, “Our father’s gone queer and mom knows the marriage is over. God mom you’re looking this good because you’re having sex again and good on you.”
Laurel turned the color of beetroot and wished her youngest wouldn’t talk so loud.
“I-I didn’t s-say what we d-did,” Laurel stuttered and both daughters were clinging to each other laughing their heads off.
Oh god, how embarrassing. She could tell by Jo’s flashing eyes she’d seized the initiative and she would now be screwed to tell all.
In the car the truth came out. Laurel voluntarily adding a couple of ‘shockers’ for her daughters that the guy Tommy was a little older than her but blond with curls, with a hard muscular body who was into gym work and cycling and he appeared to be wealthy.
“Gym and cycling mom, that’s definitely not you,” Jo said sounding very concerned.
“Well we did have other common interests.”
“Like what?” smiled Jo, barreling in like a Great White Shark to extract every morsel from her mother.
Elizabeth waited patiently and when the other two were done asked, “And how do you figure he was wealthy.”
“His signet ring and neck chain appeared to be quality gold and when I asked him what he drove he said a late model Porsche.”
“None of those things display the casualness of the truly rich,” Elizabeth said, her lips pursed.
“Well he did upgrade my ticket from New Zealand to LA to business class.”
Elizabeth’s mouth went slack and she said, “Mom you know I was a flight attendant for three years. That’s a really long sector and would have cost the poor Joe anything from six to eight grand to upgrade you.”
“Are you sure darling? I thought just a few hundred.”
“As I said, possible eight grand.”
Laurel should have expected it from Jo but was caught napping. “Did this guy Tommy gain you entrance into the Mile High Club?”
“Mile High what? Never heard of it,” Laurel scoffed but could felt guilt glowing from her entire body.
“Omigod, mom did it at 30,000-plus feet in a crowded aircraft,” Jo accused.
At that Laurel lost it. “No it was quite that bad… there were a few empty seats and Tommy made me promise not to yell.”
“Omigod mom how could you?” Elizabeth said.
Laurel, in the front passenger seat, hung her head.
After dinner that night Jo returned with a couple of boxes of invitations from a 24/7 store and they addressed them and wrote in details of the occasion, Laurel’s 50th.
“Oh you girls have been so lovely assisting me with this. I feel the sense of an occasion building.”
Elizabeth said severely, “I have held two cards back, ready to address. Mom our father and partner’s address please.”
“No way, I don’t want that jerk and his weak-ass boyfriend at the restaurant.”
“Mom it’s the right thing to do although we all know dad would be two shamed-faced after just six months to show up here.”
“Very well, but I make the gesture reluctantly.”
Elizabeth then smiled. “And this guy Tommy’s address please mom.”
Laurel appeared to be stunned. “Y-you are willing to meet my gentleman who was left with the impression we’d not meet again?”
“Yes mother,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Your daughters wish to assess what this Tommy is like and his suitability, if any, for associating with you. We are unlikely to allow you to go off and shed your panties for every Tommy, Dick and Harry.”
“Yes and I’ll need to try him out to assess just how suitable he was for you and whether the relationship should be revived.”
“Jo please don’t be so disgusting. All right, here’s the address but you can be assured he’ll not come here.”
“He will if we enclose a pair of your soiled panties in the envelope to wrinkle up his nose in memory.”
“God Jo, who let you out,” her mom sighed.
Tommy entered the small restaurant were twenty-seven people were gathering for Laurel King’s 50th. In his usual lazy style he’d not replied acceptance and when Laurel spotted him enter her face creased into a wide smile. She was dressed in white lace with a high neckline and low hem knowing her mother and two aunties would approve and have confirmation she wasn’t attempting to attract male attention.
The daughter’s caught their mom’s reaction from some distance away as she excused herself from the group around her and rushed toward the entrance.
Recently engaged Elizabeth looked at Tommy, her eyes narrowing and lips pursuing, and she said to fiancé Mal (Malcolm) Macduff, “He’s at the entrance now… look but don’t stare.”
Mal said easily, “Why not, is he allergic to stares?”
“What? Oh Mal go easy, you know I’m really under stress over this. I feel my mother is in dire straights… risking being taken from us. I knew the bum would show up.”
“Why to recklessly possess your mother?”
“Liz don’t you think you are being over dramatic? Why would the guy come all this way for a quick bang? You say he’s wealthy and by the look of him he could possess almost any woman from thirty-one to sixty-one.”
“Well certainly not me,” Elizabeth frowned.
“I purposely said from thirty-one… you are thirty,” smiled her boss from the marketing department of a department store.
Over-sexed Jo was in a huddle with her over-sexed cousins Mary-Lou and Barcelona when she noticed her mother straighten abruptly and break into her No. 1 smile. She followed her mom’s gaze to the door and her mouth dropped open, “O-m-i-g-o-d.”
“What?” Barcelona asked.
“Mom’s gigolo has just entered,” Jo said, coloring in excitement. “Mom, do the right thing, grab his arm and leave.”
“Omigod,” Mary-Lou said, after swiveling to look towards the door. “Gee he appears to have the horsepower to do us three in a groupie.”
“Shut your dirty mouth,” Jo said quietly although appearing to be partly panting. “This is mom’s White Knight.”
“Oh god, how romantic,” Barcelona cooed, but then frowned. “He hasn’t bought her a present. Damn that means he doesn’t have a sensitive side to go with his lust.”
Many in attendance had heard about ‘Laurel’s man’ and, as if orchestrated, guests near the center of the room stepped back and a channel opened between Birthday Girl and Mr Handsome.
Only the blind would have failed to notice the electrifying smiles that passed between the still separated couple.
The stranger tossed something a small parcel he’d taken from his pocket to the advancing Laurel. Although she was hopeless at catching she stopped to attempt to catch it from almost thirty feet away and the accuracy of the throw had it hand into her hand.
Ivy her mom called, “What it is dear?”
Laurel opened the box and said, sounding confused, “I really don’t know.”
Tommy said dead-panned, “It’s the key remote to the new Gold Mist Chev Equinox LTZ AWD that’s parked outside to replace Laurel’s ageing RAV-4.”
“Omigod,” Laurel gasped and ran to kiss Tommy amid the murmurings of people asking why would this guy give Laurel a vehicle when apparently she’d already given him what he wanted.
Clasping Tommy round the waist Laurel said, “Family, relatives and friends, this is my new friend Thomas Crago who only answers to the name Tommy. Please say hi to him during the evening. I ask my daughters please come to me to be introduced to Tommy.”
* * *
When the birthday invitation arrived a week after he’d returned from New Zealand, Tommy’s initial reaction was it was a joke, probably the wit of one of the daughters. Laurel had mentioned she had two daughters, one fairly serious the other irrepressible.
But then he thought well one’s 50th was a landmark birthday so probably mom and daughters have finished with one invitation card over so the irrepressible daughter had asked for his address and written out the invitation, her mom smiling and thinking of the great time she and Tommy had had together and simply complied… only to have severe recriminations next day for being so stupid. He pictured Laurel running down the street after the disappearing mailman in a vain attempt to repossess his invitation.
Well no problem Laurel, he wouldn’t be attending.
He returned from the bathroom and looked at the attractive blonde in his bed, disfigured by diamond studs through her nipples and a tattoo of a pink flower above her bald vulva. Of course he’d not stumbled over those disfigurements until he and Fangel (at least that’s what he thought she’d said her name was) were sprawled over his sofa the previous night, both panting for it so by then it had been too late to walk away in protest at disfigurement. For some reason the stupid bitches called that stuff ‘adornments. Christ, they should grow up!
Why was he doing this? Only the selfish or uncaring ones lined up for guys like him. The top babes wouldn’t stoop so low while others were home helping to build a family or were dedicated to building a career or were working both on a career and grooming some lucky guy for matrimony.
So, once again, why was he doing this?”
So he turned away and dressed and went off for breakfast. When he retuned Fangel or Angel or whatever her real name had gone without apparently stealing anything.
Mrs Marks from across the street called and said it was exactly two months since he’d last been over for lunch so he accepted the invitation, thinking lunch with Mr and Mrs Marks once every second month was the neighborly thing to do and every three months or so he took them to a restaurant for dinner.
Mr Marks kept saying “What’s that son?” because he was deaf and refused to get a hearing aid and Tommy was relieved when Mrs Marks introduced the cat to him the cat hissed at him and scratched her so was booted out of the room.
When the conversation between Tommy and Mrs Marks died he said, “I’m going to put my house on the market.”
“What’s that son?”
“Tommy intends to sell his house,” Mrs Marks said with weary patience.
“Your sister ought to buy it. Then you can talk to her all day instead of to me.”
Dawning enlightenment spread over Mrs Marks’ face.
Four days later the sister and her husband agreed to purchase Tommy’s house.
Tommy had never felt entirely comfortable fucking other women in the home he shared with his late wife so was relieved he would soon be shifting out permanently. But relief turned to panic when he wondered what now, did her really wish to move into a condo and associate with fuck-happy women, so of whom could carry STDs?
Oh shit. What had he done? Then he thought of an answer. He’d go to Laurel’s birthday party on Saturday and next day would ask her advice about what he should do. He couldn’t think of what present to give her. A box of fancy chocolates seemed inadequate.
That night Tommy watched a film and the heroine gave her husband a car because she’d inherited a great deal of money and was guilty about the affairs she’d been having with his male and her female friends.
Jesus what crap they put into movies these days, he thought, but giving Laurel a SUV was a good idea. She’s told him she drove a four-year-old Toyota. She ought to be driving American.
At the party Tommy had been pleased at the reception he received from Laurel and her immediate family. He accepted Laurel was overwhelmed by friends and family and several times saw her look at him dismayed as the next group of guests pulled her into their fold.
Ivy the mother looked him up and down and muttered, “You’ll do” whatever that meant although he had a fair idea he’d passed the most important test of all. He’d already decided to keep his distance from both daughters.
The elder one, Elizabeth, was too scrawny to be a happy woman and looked shocked when he said she ought to put on more weight now she was pregnant. Her system of management of his fiancé appeared to be autocratic, almost bullying, and Tommy guessed the poor guy was one of her team at the office. The poor guy looked to reek of guilt and was wearing his manhood round his ankles instead of his groin. Poor guy.
The youngest daughter was a walking time bomb. Tommy recognized her type. She’d have sex at the drop of a hat if she felt so inclined and at present her entire social being was framed around sex. The over-sexed young bitch ought to grow up.
Was the family dysfunctional? He decided no, it was simply in the throes of repositioning in the wake of the patriarch turning out to be inadequate for the role.
Jo the young one sauntered up to him and said, “Do you want to get out of here and take me to a club?”
Apparently she was used to males looking at her tits and smelling her arousal and so would acquiesce like robots. She looked staggered to be rebuffed and seemed confused. Tommy decided to turn lecturer.
“Do you have a lovely cunt?”
Jo looked relieved to hearing him talk on her wavelength and said yes, she thought so.
“Well if you keep on giving it freely to all and sundry then it will be stretched, collapsed and worn out all too soon and that means goodbye to a fruitful marriage.”
Jo looked horrified and scuttled away, looking back and showing fear in her eyes.
Tommy thought that was him done for the night, having blown any chance of having a normal relationship with either daughter, so he left for the Hampton Inn deciding he’d have a couple of quiet drinks and not fuck any woman on offer because it would just be his luck to find the woman would turn out to be Laurel’s best friend.
Anyway, he was growing old. It wasn’t necessary to fuck every female who presented herself.
He was awake well past midnight wondering if someone from the family had the sense to drive Laurel home in her new vehicle when his phone went.
He saw the caller was Laurel but decided not to tease her and ask was she a call girl.
“Hi. You had a great birthday.”
“Oh yes, it was magnificent. I’m very grateful for your present but really it was a zillion times over the top. What am I expected to do in return?”
Tommy wanted to say she had to fuck him for the rest of his life, to cherish him and to obey him… but that was no way to speak to a lady without first stoking her up.
“I don’t require you to do a thing. I just felt generous, that’s all. Just enjoy it.”
“Tommy I really can’t…”
“You can accept it with no strings attached darling, believe me. You brought me such great happiness when we were in New Zealand and I felt finally released from my nagging despondency. That in itself was a great gift Laurel of untold value.”
“I-I’m pleased to be told that. I’m sorry I was unable to spend more time with your at tonight’s function… just a handful of minutes in all.”
“I could see and assess the situation so no sweat. You performed like the ultimate party girl, sharing your time with everyone.”
“My mother likes you.”
“I gained that impression. Ivy appears to be quite a hard case.”
“From whom I inherited my contrasting softness. Will you come to dinner tonight? My houseguests will go after lunch and I would like to dine with you and my daughters. They’ll return to Chicago about 8:00.”
“Yes I’d like that. So what did they think of me?”
“I’m unable to tell just yet. When I asked them both an hour ago they appeared to be somewhat shell-shocked. They must have consumed too much alcohol. So 5:30 tomorrow for cocktails?”
“Good night darling,” she said, sending Tommy’s mind reeling. The warmth in her voice in voicing that endearment had been unmistakable.
“Good night my lovely birthday girl.”
Tommy thought yeah, Laurel appeared to be just right for him. She had class, humor and was soft and forward-looking and liked to wine and dine and possessed a great attitude towards sex. God half the women her age were already thinking they were old and becoming immobile. Above all, she was fun to be with and to share with.
Just after 8:00 that morning Laurel’s daughters jumped into bed with her, as they continued to do whenever they visited.
“Thank you darlings for helping make my Big 50 such a wonderful occasion.
Elizabeth said everyone could see her mom had been really enjoying the occasion and looked so happy and was so inclusive.
“Yes mom, you were quite the birthday babe. You appeared to be celebrating your Big 40.”
“Oh darlings how sweet of you. Everyone appeared to be having a good time. Oh before I forget, what is your impression of Tommy?”
There was silence.
“Mom he knew I was pregnant. Why did you tell him?”
“Oh but I haven’t told a single person darling; it’s your affair.”
“I didn’t,” Jo sniffed.
“Then it’s true,” Laurel smiled. “When we were looking at mountains colored by sunset and sipping the most adorable Pinot Noir wine imaginable Tommy told me his grandmother lived on a small farm of milking goats when he was young and said she taught him how to tell when does were in gestation which takes approximately 150 days.”
Elizabeth and Jo looked horrified but after initial shock Laurel smiled and told Elizabeth she must make allowances for Tommy because he had lived alone for two years and probably had not associated with younger people for a great number of years. But despite that he was usually well mannered and fairly sensitive for a man. He was probably surprised to read Elizabeth was pregnant.
“Read? What do you mean,” Elizabeth demanded. “You know I’m not showing.”
“Darling,” Laurel began diplomatically. “How can I put this…?”
“Oh god,” said Elizabeth, “But I am to a guy who knows goats.”
“And perhaps deer,” Jo joked because that misfired and Elizabeth demanded to be told what did Jo know about deer breeders.
When that was sorted out Laurel asked gently, “And your first meeting with Tommy when well Jo and he complimented you on your good looks, youth and vitality?”
She looked away, visibly shaken.
Elizabeth pounced. “Omigod he identified you for what you are?”
Laurel cautioned Elizabeth but too late. Jo burst into tears and turned to be hugged by her mom and Elizabeth reached a hand across sympathetically to pat her.
“It was awful and although no one would have overheard him I was ready to die of embarrassment… I mean shame.”
“Omigod,” the other two women said.
“I invited him to take me to a club and h-he… the asshole spoke to me as if he were my dad.”
“You father left that sort of thing for me to handle and that’s been partly the problem,” Laurel sighed. “What did he say after turning you down darling?”
“He alleged I appeared oversexed and if I continued to have sex excessively at my young age, later on I might not be in a fit condition to marry and have children.”
Laurel spluttered, “He can’t say that to you. That’s outrageous.”
“Yes, a little over the top but do we doubt the accuracy of the comments?” Elizabeth asked, choosing her words carefully.
Jo was raked with sobs and said, “You think he’s right don’t you mom?”
“A woman’s body is wonderfully resilient darling but who really knows what harm we do to ourselves? You two know I have always told you what my mother always has told me and that is, ‘everything in moderation’. Do you think it might be best for you to find a really nice guy and proceed… um, well normally, not wildly excessively?”
“I’m already thinking there is more to life than sex and I do want to have darling babies.”
Elizabeth said, “Well it’s only that asshole’s theory. I mean what the hell does he know?”
“Mum?” Jo sniffed.
Laurel looked embarrassed. “Now you must not repeat this. Tommy was a flight engineer in the Air Force and his record of sexual promiscuity became of such concern to the off-base authorities in Germany they asked Tommy’s superiors to have him reassigned and instead his commanding officer arranged for Tommy to gain early retirement on compassionate grounds. He worked in civil aviation and married a doctor who divorced him when she found he was having sex with several of her female patients.”
“Gee Jo, it was a case of one sex maniac talking to another.”
“He must have many good qualities otherwise mom would not have associated with him.”
“Thank you dear. He wanted children but his wife found she could not conceive and regarded that as an omen. However his second wife wanted children and…” Laurel began crying uncontrollably. Her daughters comforted her.
When Laurel calmed she told them how Tommy’s pregnant wife met her death heroically during and aborted supermarket robbery.
At that point all three of them were crying.
During the next period of calm Laurel said, “I don’t want you mentioning anything about what I’ve just told you because Tommy will be joining us for dinner tonight.”
“Well you can count me out,” Jo said defiantly and Elizabeth said she would have to think about staying for dinner.
Laurel was adept at managing them. “I shall just leave you girls to decide in your usually mature and responsible manner.”
Both daughters fought to hide their grins.
* * *
As usual, Jo answered the doorbell and had in mind to snarl, “Oh it’s you.”
But Tommy looked dazzling dressed in a beautifully fitted charcoal and white pinstriped jacket, white collarless shirt with a gold medallion hanging high on his neck, off-white pants with a black plaited belt with stainless steel buckle and burgundy loafers.
He kissed the mouth-opened young woman on the mouth and she gasped, “For me?” as he handed her one of three bouquets of white roses he was carrying. Some jerks in the past had given Jo a single flower but this was the first time any male had given her flowers. She appeared to wobble on her knees and she screeched, “Mom!” and stood politely aside, taking more glances at this handsome ageing man.
Laurel and Elizabeth arrived beside her and they were kissed and handed flowers.
Jo noted only Elizabeth was kissed on the cheek. Was that Tommy picking his favorites? A fuzzy feeling came to her. She served the drinks and dinner went splendidly, everyone being on charm-alert and avoiding getting up anyone’s nose.
When they were resting between mains and dessert Tommy asked, choosing to appear nervous, “Elizabeth and Jo; have you any objection if your mother invited me to stay tonight?”
“No of course not,” Elizabeth smiled and Jo looked at her pink-cheeked mom and said, “No and I believed that is meant to happen.” A silence followed, broken by Tommy grinning and said, “Well thanks but I guess I should be truthful and say any objections would have been ignored and I would have stay whether or not I received an invitation.”
Laurel looked at Tommy from the other end of the table and said, “I trust you have booked out of your hotel Tommy. Please stay here with me tonight and as many nights as you wish.”
“Well that’s produced smiles all round,” Jo smiled. “We have half an hour before we need to return to Chicago. Tell us about yourself Tommy, warts and all.”
“That will be my pleasure,” Tommy said. “Being so young you need to be satisfied you are leaving your mom in the capable hands of someone she can trust.”
The resume took almost ten minutes and included those three ‘black’ spots in his life that Laurel had mentioned to her daughters.
“So there you have it in brief,” he said. “All I can say is with Tommy Crago what you see if what you get.”
When the girls were leaving Elizabeth kissed Tommy on the lips and said, “You are a lovely man Tommy” and his mother and sister knew that was pretty cool for Elizabeth to say something like that.
“Thanks. May I touch your belly?”
“Look after this little bundle, it’s probably not twins. I was please to see you not drinking alcohol. I think you’ll make a splendid mother and you have a fine role model to follow.”
The three women looked at Tommy keenly but nothing was said.
As to be expected, Jo pressed into him without embarrassment, kissed him quite passionately and said, “Goodbye. You are quite off the top shelf from what I can see Tommy. Mommy is very lucky.”
“Thanks baby. Just set some obtainable, desirable goals for yourself huh?”
Jo just smiled at him hugely.
Laurel and Tommy waved the girls off and Laurel led him inside.
Tommy removed his jacket. “Well let’s attack these dishes.”
Laurel almost whimpered, “Um don’t you want to do something else first?”
“Thanks for being so keen honey but in this instance work comes first. To misquote, into the kitchen dear friend.” She laughed. “God you are like a fresh breath of air in this family. Have you any idea what a huge hit you have been?”
“Oh don’t be misguided. Jo is what I call a butterfly impressionist but she is likely to mature well.”
“No, I mean with Elizabeth. She was the one who most yearned for my husband to act like a real father and has always been tentative with any male for the first month or two after meeting him. Tonight you had her eyes shining and she hung on to very every word as if you were an oracle.”
Tommy was startled. “Oh Christ, she’d not to see me as what I’m not.”
The appeal in the dark brown eyes persuaded Tommy to back off. “All right I’m prepared to offer the role of mentor but dammit Laurel a mentor is considered to be a wise and trusted person.”
“Darling all I ask is for you to just be yourself. Elizabeth is quite used to being kicked around verbally and you are really mild in comparison, I’m telling you. I believe both my daughters would benefit from some close immersion with you.”
“Okay but you keep between Jo and me. That young women regards sex as open social intercourse.”
“No if it happens, it happens but I would prefer not to know.”
“Jesus Laurel that is really heaping me with responsibility.”
He began filling the basin with water with Laurel loaded the dishwater and thought about what she’d just said.
“Darling you called me. So it’s still fully on?”
“Yes,” she said simply.
“Well say the words.”
“Tommy I’d like you to move in here with me and share half of the house-running costs if you stay longer than a month.”
“You mean live like a married couple?”
“That’s what I had in mind.”
He smiled and said, “Then let’s do it. I’m already halfway here as I arranged to sell my house the other day and so only have to tie up some things and adjust my financial affairs and I’ll be free to leave town for good.”
Laurel kissed him and said that made her very happy. “In the meantime could you come here some weekends?”
“Yeah why not? We’ve already proven we can live together amicably.”