I am diabolical. Brilliant, but diabolical. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I don't have anyone else to tell now. I mean, why go through all the effort if you're the only one who gets to enjoy it. You see, my plan was perfect and if it wasn't for old Saint Nick, I would have gotten away with it. Well, I guess I should tell you the story first, its long and I don't have much time left now.