She wanted to die, without him her life felt black and gray, like the sky. She sat in her little house looking out at the rain as it left icy trails down her window. She thought the tears on her face must look just like that, cold, wet rivers of pain. She wished someone would come and rescue her from herself. Rescue her from those dark feelings that invaded her head like parasites. She needed to be beaten, to be abused and hurt for the bad things she'd done and said to him.