Loading...As a psychology major, it never ceases to surprise me how deep human loathing can go. Often times the most screwed up ones are ourselves. For every ten people that you meet, eight hate everyone, six hate themselves, but blame everyone else, three loathe themselves with depths unfathomable, and one or two out of those ten will never let you know just how disturbed they really are.
Actors are not just on the big screen in Hollywood, they are your next door neighbor, your roommate, your best friend, your sibling. Everyone wears a mask. And because the world revolves around you without you ever intending it to, you will never look as closely at them as you should. They don’t want you to, really, they would rather hide what they see as a weakness in the darkness of their souls, too proud to ask for help; dying inside without really knowing why.
I’m in that one percent. I can admit it to myself, that’s the easy part. I have a love hate relationship with myself; I love to hate myself. My family doesn’t know it, my best friends don’t know it, no one knows it but me. Even my college professor who is supposed to understand people better than they know themselves just thinks I’m a sarcastic prick. A talented sarcastic prick, but a prick none the less.
You may say that I’m self-destructive towards myself, maybe I am, but I don’t really care. All my life I’ve found no one to make me want to care, to make me want to help myself. Not even my family was enough to save me, sadly enough. Maybe it was because my twin died at birth and in some dark recess of my mind, I felt that death as surely as I was now waiting for my own. I don’t know.
It was surprising that I kept up good grades considering that I never studied. I did just about everything a good college student wasn’t supposed to do, but at least I never got caught.
Ah, but I’m a grand actor, you see. No one knew that I was slowly killing myself. They thought I just like to have fun. I was always kind to others, if not a little sarcastic at times. Okay, a lot sarcastic, but it was always good natured. My sarcasm was never cruel unless it was directed at myself and others simply saw it as a joke.
I couldn’t stand just sitting for any length of time. I had to be doing something, going somewhere. It was a need that I couldn’t seem to control, it would take over me, leaving me in a near panic if I stayed in one place for too long. As long as my subconscious was preoccupied, I was generally okay. I think that is the only way I was ever able to make it through my classes. My roommate, Dan, always thought it was funny that I was always wound so tight. He would always ask me if I’d ever been tested for A.D.D. like it was some big joke. Of course, I would just laugh and leave it at that.
I was running late for class this morning, grabbing my book bag, a few pills shoved into my pocket and out the door still throwing a shirt on as I went. Some of the students felt it was their duty to dress up a little bit for psychology class, seeing as how most of them were planning on being future psychologists. This was not the case for me. Some baggy, torn jeans, and one ugly T-shirt Marvin the Martian was all Professor Hannigin was getting from me. The guy was lucky I was wearing shoes. As I slid into the class door near the back, I was trying to smooth down my bed head hair with one hand and grabbing a seat with the other. I was twenty minutes late.
Of course, there is no such a thing as sneaking into Hannigin’s class, it was physically impossible. The bastard had eyes in the back of his head, I swear. “Ah,” he said without turning from the black board, “So the infamous Mr. O’Malley has decided to grace us with his presence, am I correct?” You could hear the glee in his voice that he’d actually caught me at something. He was always on my case for one thing or another, but that may have something to do with the fact that I was constantly correcting him in his own class. That’s just a theory, though.
Whereas most other students would have looked guilty, sliding down in their seats and apologizing, I just popped my pills in my mouth and swallowed them down with a swig of water, ignoring the man at the front of the class.
Now Hannigin turned around, staring straight at me with a look that I think had an evil red gleam to it. I’m sure he wished the school would allow him to take a whip to me, but wishes don’t always come true, thank you God. “So, O’Malley, what is your excuse this time? Too much partying? You felt you didn’t have to be here by the required time? Did you think class should just wait with baited breath for you to appear before really starting?”
“Sarcasm really doesn’t become you, Professor. Punish me or get back to teaching, but don’t waste these students time by trying to make me feel small in front of them. It won’t work.”
It was amazing how fast his face turned from pale and ugly, to red and ugly, to purple and down right horrifying.
I cocked my head to the side. “Now, now, Professor. Remember your blood pressure.”
After taking very deep breath, the esteemed professor seemed to regain himself a bit. The class waited in strand silence waiting to see what would happen next. This was better entertainment then the summer blockbuster at the theater. “And you, O’Malley, should remember your place. Now leave my class and don’t come back for the rest of the week.”
I watched him turn back towards the blackboard, dismissing me like some kind of peon. I’d love to just throw something at him, throw some kind of fit, demand he let me stay, but that would be what he expected of me. I don’t like to let him win, but I didn’t really have a choice. It was a lose-lose situation.
I gathered my bag, pushed back from my chair and headed for the door, calling out over my shoulder. “Fine, enjoy your week. Just remember, I still get an A if all the answers are right, whether you like me or not.”
I let the door slam shut behind me and stormed down the hallway. Didn’t really know where to go, or what to do. All my party buddies were still in class and I had the next five hours free. Shit.
First stop, Starbucks. It was really the only way to start the day for me. Call me a pansy if you will, but I love their White Chocolate Mocha Venti. Mmm . . .
It was a beautiful spring day and I had nothing to do. Crap! I hate not having anything to do! I can’t stand not doing something! Before long, I was walking to the very edges of campus, near the gym. I could work out, but then that would require effort and I wasn’t sure I was up for that yet. Still, I walked through the glass doors and sniffed in that overpoweringly manly sent of sweat, testosterone, and more sweat. Grunts came from several of the guys lifting the weights, the slapping sounds of shoes on rubber sounded from the runners on the treadmills. A TV played in the corner, though most of the guys were busy listening to their own music as they worked out. I recognized several guys from our esteemed football team, heaving and grunting, throwing out the occasional encouragement to each other. The apes.
But it was the crowd around the back room that really gathered my attention. Several oh’s and laughs were coming from that direction, so, curiosity as my lead, I went that way. There was a large room, the doorway blocked by several large imbeciles that were laughing and making extremely rude comments.
“Dude, look at his pajamas!”
“No, look at her. Damn, she looks fine!”
“I could take him.”
“Man, he would rip you a new asshole.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah! He’s got all that Bruce Lee shit going on and all you got is your bouncer muscles!”
“Do you know how many guys have tried to pick a fight with me and lost?”
I somehow managed to wiggle my way right up next the big brute and look into the room that held the small crowds interest. There were several students in there, practicing some form of Karate. Their movements were swift and precise. Their uniforms crisp white, tied with varying colored belts. An older gentleman led them, calling out moves they should make, carrying a large wooden type sword that looked like several thin pieces of bamboo tied together to make it up. The man, presumably their teacher, would smack it lightly across their backs, shoulders, legs, arms, whatever he found that was not correct. They would correct it immediately, never looking at him, never losing focus of what they were doing except to yell out “Thank you, Sensei!”
The guys around me laughed and mimicked what the students were doing, but I was strangely enthralled. It looked so simple, yet so forceful. Their movements were almost beautiful.
“They don’t actually think that crap works in a real fight, do they?” Several of the guys laughed. “That Chinese crap only works in the movies with special effects.”
“If you look at the décor around the room, you’ll notice the style they are practicing is Japanese, not Chinese, you big ape.” I took a long sip of my coffee, draining the cup. “And of course it works, else it would not have lasted for the last thousand years or so.”
“What did you say to me, preppy?”
“You’re in college, you moron, try not to be such a simpleton.” I gave him a withering look out of the corner of my eye while a familiar tension built up in my stomach. I was asking for it, I knew and I didn’t care. “Start using a Q-tip once and awhile and you might learn something.”
“Why you little-”
Perhaps I should have at least tried to duck, or back into the crowd behind me, but I just couldn’t seem to do it. Instead, I threw my empty Styrofoam cup at his head as he pulled his fist back to hit me; watched it bounce off his face. His vacant expression didn’t last long. I was soon flying through the door into the room full of students, my mouth throbbing, and a 6’3″ football player coming to stand over me to finish what my big mouth had started. As he came at me, I threw out a leg to catch him and let his momentum propel him up and over me, landing in the middle of the students.
I really didn’t have long to be proud of myself. I had just dragged myself back to my feet when his buddy, Dog Face, decided to ram his head into my stomach. Okay, first lesson? Pills and caffeine don’t make a great breakfast. Second lesson? If someone rams their head into your stomach just after having had both but nothing else, you will be tempted to puke everything you’ve ever eaten. Don’t give into this temptation, it won’t taste good. If you do give in, just swallow it down so you don’t ruin the floor. Third lesson? Never start a fight that will end up landing in the middle of a Karate class. The students will kick your ass, not to mention the teacher.
Before anyone was able to land a second blow, the students were fighting back the crowd that had followed us in, several were holding us back from each other, and the teacher stood between us, arms out, a look of pure rage on his face. “You will cease this immediately! Do not disrespect this Dojo further with your insolence!”
Someone had me in a bear hug from behind, pulling me back. Who would have guessed I would have been just as eager as the jocks to jump right back into the fight that I was so badly losing?
“You three,” The teacher yelled, pointing at the three of us. “In my office now! Bryan, Will, follow just to help keep these three in line for a minute. The rest of you clear out! Class dismissed.”
“Yes, Sensei!” The students yelled as one.
“Yeah, as if they could take us on!” Moron retorted, still trying to shrug off two students that were holding onto his arms. “All those fancy moves got nothing on me!”
“Yeah, you tell ’em,” Dog Face said, nodding in agreement, trying his hardest to make his pimply face look threatening. If anything, it reminded me to pick up more Oxy Clear at the near by Wal-Mart.
The teacher got a really nasty gleam in his eye as he walked right up to Moron. Now, Moron was a good five inches taller than the teacher, but Moron still backed up with an apprehensive look on his face. The teacher came within inches of him. “Do you want to test that theory with me?”
Moron rapidly began shaking his head back and forth, nothing but obedience now. “No, sir.”
“That’s what I thought. Now in my office.” He led the way to the back of the room where a tiny little office with two glass walls opened into the dojo. With six of us all piling in, it was a good thing I wasn’t claustrophobic. The person that had held me in the bear hug was still behind me with a hand on my shoulder as I was standing next to Dog Face. I’m just glad I didn’t have to stand next to Moron. I didn’t want to take the chance that his incompetence would rub off.
The scary teacher stood behind his desk, looking at the three of us as though we were there just to ruin his day. “Tell me why you three found it necessary to disrupt my class today in such a fashion.”
Dog Face and Moron jumped right in to a large explanation, both coming up with facts as they hit their small brains. Apparently, as they were innocently watching the class from beyond the door, I came up and started making very rude comments that they were greatly offended at. After insulting both boys, I told them they were girls and couldn’t hit a fly. I then assaulted Moron by throwing my hot coffee at him, luckily not scarring his beautiful face, and threw the first punch. The fight took off from there.
My tongue darted out at the blood still seeping from my lip as I started to laugh softly. However quiet I think I may have been, apparently the teacher heard it over the two loudmouths to my right. His blue eyes bore into mine with a clarity that was startling.
“Is this what really happened?”
I shrugged. “Well, seeing as how half of the crowd were friends of these two oafs here, I’m fairly certain their story will be confirmed if you’d like to ask anyone else. So, sure, why not say I’m a big bully and picked on these two helpless idiots.” I flashed a grin. “I’m such a brute.”
Whoever it was behind me laughed, stifling it quickly at a dark look from the teacher.
The teacher looked back at me, but spoke to the two jocks. “You two will leave this dojo and not return. I catch you here again, Mr. Richards and Mr. Sampson, and I will see to it your scholarship sponsors hear about your actions. Is that understood?”
“Yeah, fine. Whatever man.”
Dog Face seconded the motion.
As they left, Moron brushed up against my arm and whispered fiercely in a stage whisper at me. “We’re not done, Preppy. Not by a long shot.”
“Just make sure you have a breath mint next time. You’re killing me here.”
Moron let out a growl.
The teacher’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “For your information, boys, I will be contacting your coach. I’m sure he’ll have something to say about your actions and will wish to deal with it personally. Should I, however, find out you’ve gone after this boy or any other student, for that matter, I can guarantee you will regret it.”
Both boys glared alternately back and forth from me to the teacher and back again, then left the room, wisely holding their tongues. When the door slammed shut behind them, everyone turned and watched the two leave the dojo, Moron spitting on the floor before he left.
When they were gone, I turned back to the teacher. I couldn’t believe he’d just let them off with a warning and open threat. How fair was that? “So . . . Can I go now?”
“After you tell me why you started the fight, perhaps.”
“I didn’t-”
“Yes you did and we both know it. If you had not started the fight, you would not have tried to start another one a minute ago. Do not lie to me.” It was those eyes again looking at me, as though they could see through me. Creepy was saying the least!
“Fine, I won’t.” This started the staring contest, a game I was very good at. Not many could beat me at this, not even this teacher.
When it became obvious I wasn’t going to answer his question, he sighed and shook his head in disappointment. Like I cared. “What is your name?”
“Sean O’Malley.”
“Are you ditching class, Mr. O’Malley?”
“Nope. I got thrown out for a week. You can call Professor Hannigin if you’d like to confirm it.”
“That’s not necessary. I am well aware of how Hannigin likes to throw out the occasional student in a fit of temperament.” He shook his head, a smile haunting his lips. “However, I will be contacting your Professor to inform him that while you are not in his class, you will be in my dojo learning some discipline.”
Surely I hadn’t heard right. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me well enough.”
“That’s not fair! You know damn well it was those two steroid junkies that made the mess and yet I’m being punished for it? What the Hell?”
“Life often seems to be unfair at first. I will confer with your Professor. Be here tomorrow morning at the same time as your other class would have begun.” He looked beyond my shoulder to the person standing behind me. “Bryan, please walk him out.”
“Yes, Sensei.”
“I’m sure I can find my own way,” I sneered, pointing through the glass to the door at the front of the room.
“Come on, Tiger, let’s go.” For the first time, I looked behind me at the one who’d pulled me from the fight. His dark brown hair had golden hues to it, framing his face in a way that should have made him look feminine but did quite the opposite. His caramel colored eyes held amusement in them that was sure to be directed at me. The gi he wore opened invitingly down past his collar bone, showing a bit more skin that he really should have been.
I disliked him instantly. Him and his stupid, unfair teacher. “It’s Sean.”
His smile widened in a charming manner. “Okay, Sean, after you.”
I glared over my shoulder at the teacher, then headed through the door Bryan was holding open, leaving Will behind to talk to his Sensei. In a rare sense of decorum, I removed my shoes before crossing the dojo floor, even though I had worn them in.
Near the entrance, I sat down on a chair to pull my shoes back on. Bryan remained standing, leaning on his leg on the chair beside me. “That was a pretty nice move you did earlier.”
“Huh?”
“You know, the kick throw you did, making the big guy fly right over you.”
“Oh, that. My brothers and I do that to each other all the time. No big deal.”
“Huh.” Bryan leaned in, close enough that I could feel his breath brush my hair. An odd tingle went down my spin. “Ever thought of joining the class?”
“What? This class?”
“Yeah.”
I laughed and stood up. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because it’s fun.” Bryan shrugged. “And because if you are going to start fights, you should at least know how to finish them.”
“I can finish any fight I want.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah!”
Bryan’s eyes began to twinkle as he leaned in close to me. “I may have to take you up on that challenge sometime.” He breathed in deep, giving me the oddest feeling he was smelling me. “Until tomorrow, Tiger.”
I watched as he walked back through the dojo to a little room in the back that I assumed was the class’ locker room. There was something weird about that guy. He made me uneasy, but in a good way, oddly enough.
The next morning was dismal with rain pouring down like there was no tomorrow. I vaguely wondered if there was a row boat somewhere near by I could catch a ride with to head over to the dojo as my shoes sloshed through the puddles. I as soaked by the time I got there ten minutes early, a first for me. Even my Starbucks mocha didn’t cheer me up. I still didn’t understand why I had to go to this stupid Karate class. I wasn’t enrolled in it. What gave that stupid teacher the power to enforce this? Crap, sometimes I hated my life. Okay, so I generally hated my life as a rule to live by, but this was pushing things!
Students were ambling in, taking off their shoes and headed for the locker room at the back, laughing and talking with each other. Several threw me odd looks as they headed back, no doubt wondering what the hell I was doing in their class. I was tempted to shout that I didn’t have the foggiest idea, but thought that might be a little dramatic this early in the morning.
“Hey, glad to see you made it, Tiger.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to look at Bryan who was looking sickeningly dry as he shook out his umbrella. “I’m only here under duress.”
A smirk tugged at his mouth as he looked me up and down. Somehow, it felt oddly dirty and took way too long. “Just a tad wet there, aren’t you?”
“I got to take a shower and do laundry at the same time. What’s not to love?” I bent down and began to take off my shoes, wishing he would follow the other students soon.
“Um, since I can see puddles forming around your feet, better take off the socks, too. You won’t be needing them, anyhow.”
“Ah, Sean. I’m glad you could join us.”
I glanced up at the teacher with barely concealed venom as I finished peeling off my socks and stuffing them in my shoes. “Yeah, as if I had a choice.”
“The world is full of choices. No one made you come here today. You just did not like the consequences of the other option so you chose to come.” The bastard actually smiled at me. “The choice was always yours.”
“I love it when he manipulates people!” Bryan laughed.
“Bryan, please take our newest student to the back and get him a gi. Class will begin soon, see to it that he is ready.”
“Yes, Sensei.” He grinned at me, looking altogether too pleased with the situation. “Ready, Tiger?”
“Would you please stop calling me Tiger? My name is Sean, ass wipe.”
“Sean, you just earned yourself thirty minutes extra training today.” The sensei smiled and walked back to his little office. “Remember to play nice, boys.”
“Dick.”
“Who? Me or him?”
I glared at Bryan and headed back to the locker room, carrying my soggy shoes with the socks stuffed in them. “I’m beginning to think both.”
The back room looked like a kindergartners class with cubbies! Where the hell were the lockers? Did people actually think this was safe? What if someone kidnapped my Venti White Chocolate Mocha and held it for ransom? I just might have to kill someone before the day was through.
“Here, put this on while I find you a belt.” Bryan tossed a plastic covered white gi, the packaging saying small.
I frowned down at the garment in my hand. He hadn’t even asked what size I was. I didn’t look that anorexic, did I? I stripped down to my briefs and unceremoniously began ringing out my clothing on the floor. I wasn’t going to shove it into the cubby just to sit in a puddle of water. Without even attempting to fold the mass of wet cloth, I shoved it into the nearest empty cubby, gingerly setting my mocha in front of it after taking a loving sip.
Okay, the pants part of the outfit was fine. One leg, then the other. It was the top I was having problems with. For some reason, my sleep deprived mind could not seem to wrap its self around how the four ties hanging off of it were supposed to go together to get the damn thing to close. With a growl of frustration, I’ll admit it was childish, I grabbed the strings in each hand with a vicious yank and kicked the nearest bench.
“Fudge buckets, froogle frat!” Didn’t know I had a tendency to make up my own cuss words, did you? Well, now you know.
With my big toe throbbing, I hopped up and down holding my foot. Just as Bryan came around the corner with a white belt in his hand, a look of curiosity as to what all the commotion was, the foot I was hopping on found the damn puddle I’d made when I was ringing out my clothes. In the span on two seconds, I was flat on my back, the air knocked completely out of me as I stared up at the ceiling.
Stifling a laugh, Bryan rushed over and knelt beside me. “Are you okay?”
I bit my lip and counted to ten. It was either that or very rapidly become uncivilized. A deep breath in, I tried to ignore the fact that he was still trying not to laugh, whereas other students still in the locker room weren’t quite so restraint. “I should have known. I’m sure if you look at the paper and read my horoscope it would say not to leave bed for today will be hell otherwise. The rain should have been my first warning. Then the fact that Starbucks had to remake my mocha three times before they got the damn thing right. But no, I blew all that off, ignored that little voice in my head that said today was not going to be my day, and I came here.” I raised my arm to look at my watch and sighed. “Oh, look. It’s hardly even nine yet. Goody. That means I still have several more hours of Chaos before this day will officially end. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky and a bus will hit me early so I don’t have to suffer the rest of the day. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
No longer trying to hide his laugher, Bryan rose up, grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. “Optimistic guy, aren’t you, Tiger?”
Yanking my arm from his grip, I glared at him. It was prudently apparent I was not going to get him to stop calling me that ridiculous pet name. My friends never gave me a nickname, so I wasn’t sure why this guy felt compelled to do so.
With a sigh, I realized my pants were now damp from landing in the puddle. Oh, yes, this day was certainly looking up. “I couldn’t figure out how to get this damn thing tied and things went bad from there. How optimistic should I be?”
“Well, you didn’t crack your head open, that’s a plus, right?” As the students started heading out into the dojo, Bryan stepped closer to me and grabbed the ties, a smile still on his lips. “Here, let me help you.”
I was on the verge of pulling away and telling him I wasn’t a toddler that couldn’t figure out how to tie their own damn shoe when I realized that’s exactly what I was. It would just be foolish to push away his help. But that odd fluttering in my stomach was back. Man, I hoped I wasn’t going to hurl. That would really just top off the moment for me.
“This one goes here with this one,” He pulled a string on the left over to the inner right, his fingers brushing across my abdomen, making the muscles jump. “Ticklish?”
“Um, no not really,” I said, staring at the ceiling. Oh, that was far from a tickle I’d felt. What the hell was wrong with me? I hated this guy (not to mention the fact that he was a guy) so fluttery feelings were not welcome! I really needed to cut back on the caffeine.
Before I knew it, he had my top tied. “My very own ninja pajamas, just what I’ve always wanted.”
On a snicker, Bryan began to put the belt around my waist. “Now watch. One square knot is all you need and there you are! All set.”
“Great,” I said without much enthusiasm.
Bryan swung his arm companionably around my shoulders, leading me to the door. “Don’t worry. I’m sure the class will go easy on you so you won’t go home with too many bruises today.”
My ever present glare swung in his direction. “Yeah, that just makes me thrilled to be here.”
*****
Thud!
I’d already lost count how many times I’d hit the floor. All I knew was that I hurt and I didn’t want to do this anymore. It was my good fortune to have come into the class the day they were doing sparing for blocks and throws. The Sensei took pity on me and gave me to one of the newer recruits. The bastard actually told the kid to try and take it easy on me since it was my first day. One would think I’d get to learn some of the moves before being thrown to the lions, but NO! To add insult to injury, the kid I was sparing with was a goddamn girl at least a year my junior, if not more. I think it was only my bruised and battered pride that kept me getting up for more as snickers from some of the other students needled me.
“Okay, hold on.” Will, who was apparently high up enough in the ranks the Sensei let him help teach and guide the students, came up behind me. Wrapping his arms around me, a hand hooking onto each wrist, he maneuvered my arms. His feet kicked lightly at mine, moving me into the stance he wanted. “Now, move like this. Becky, come at him slowly.”
My face was burning with humiliation, but I didn’t say a word as he moved me like a doll. His day would come, oh yes, it would come. Karma was funny that way.
When he finally let go, I took four steps away from him, glaring daggers at him. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. “Go ahead and try to block her, Sean.”
Why did I have this strange impulse to stick my tongue out at him and tell him I didn’t want to? Still, I put myself into the stance he’d shown me and when she came at me, I blocked.
Will shrugged. “Sloppy, but at least you did it.”
“Oh, go screw yo-”
I was cut off by the sensei calling out the end of the class. Thirty more minutes and I was out of here.
As students went into the back to change and began filing out, I watched the sensei disappear into his office to take a phone call and Will going over to help two other students who’d stayed behind. Bryan hurried over to me with his ever present grin. I wondered if he even knew how to frown.
“So, how was class, Tiger? Looked like you were having fun,” he said with good natured sarcasm.
If it were possible, I think my glare actually got darker. “I hate you.”
“What did I do?”
“You were chipper.” I walked past him to the cooler full of water and plucked out a bottle. My body hurt from head to toe. How did people call this fun, I wondered.
Apparently, he’d followed me. I jumped a little when I felt his hand on my neck, gently massaging the tense muscles there. God, it felt like heaven! With a little squeeze, he motioned his head back out into the room. “Come on, I’ll spar with you a bit.”
“And I would want to do this why?”
“Well, it’s either me or Will and you are here for another half hour. Promise you I won’t be too rough.”
With a scowl, I realized he was right. I’d gotten the distinct impression that Will didn’t like me, so I was probably safer with Bryan. Pain wise, anyhow. “Fine.”
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic there, or I’ll half to hose you down.”
Thirty minutes later, I was even more sore than I had been when we’d begun. With all too much laughter, he’d thrown me over his shoulder and knocked me to the floor countless times, the bastard. He was actually enjoying this! And of course, he would soften the blows enough so that I knew what he was doing but could do nothing about it, cushioning my fall with a foot or pulling me back up just before I hit the floor.
The other students were still engaged with Will when I stormed back into the locker room.
Bryan followed me in, taking off his belt as he went. “You know, we could always have a rematch, if you’d like.”
“Screw you, buddy!” Having been humiliated, beaten more efficiently than the jocks could have, and all around having a bad day, I let my anger again get the better of me as I turned around and pushed him into one of the lockers. I was so not in the mood for his condescending tone, his chipmunk smile, and sickeningly optimistic outlook on life! With a not so rare flare of anger, I shoved him into one of the lockers, the sound ricocheting around the empty locker room. “I hate you! I hate you so much it hurts! Do you know that, you happy-go-lucky bastard? Go fuck yourself ten ways from Sunday with a jumbo dildo and then lets see you’re new outlook on life!”
“Damn you’re sexy when you’re angry,” he laughed. I barely had time to go “Huh?” when he grabbed the front of my gi in a fist and pulled me in for the most electrifying kiss I’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving.
Resistance never even entered my mind as I griped his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he literally sucked the breath from my lungs. His tongue plunged into my mouth, taking no prisoners as it dominated me, making me rise to the occasion in a matter of seconds.
When he pulled back and took in a deep, shuttering breath that matched my own, I opened and closed my mouth several times. I’m sure I wanted to say something to him, but for the life I me, I couldn’t figure out what that something was. Backing up until I hit the bench, I shook my head, turned and grabbed my Mocha and walked out of the locker room headed for the door. The only thing I knew was that my coffee was cold and I needed to leave right then and there before I did something I would regret, even if I was highly tempted.
I heard him open the door behind me. I knew he was watching me leave, not daring to say anything with the other students still in the room. It was better that way for me. If he had said one word, just one, I probably would have turned around and jumped on him, audience or not.
It was still raining outside and I really didn’t notice it until I stepped into a large puddle with my bare feet. “Crap!”
The only thing I’d grabbed from my cubby was my coffee! My clothing and shoes were still there probably sitting in a wet puddle of their own. I could either turn around and go back in to grab them, or leave them there and hope they were still there tomorrow. Hmm, decisions.
The walk to the coffee stand left me soaked to my skivvies. Coffee won in the battle of whether I should retrieve my clothing or not, so here I was without a dollar on me, in a wet karate gi, no shoes, and a hell of a temper.
“I’m sorry, sir, but without shoes on, I can’t serve you.”
Alright, that was it. Reaching across the counter, I grabbed his lime green polo shirt and pulled him until his face was a mere inch from mine. “Listen, you little prick. I come in here every day, you know this. I order the same thing at least three times a day. You know this, too. I have had a really bad day an it’s not even noon yet, so I need my damn caffeine. Give it too me now and put it on my student comps.”
He plucked my fingers from his shirt. “Maybe caffeine is the last thing you need.”
“I swear to God!” I nearly launched myself over the counter, but he held his hands up and began readying my order. Not many could get away with this abuse, but I could tell he saw I meant business. Never get between me and my White Chocolate Mocha.
Ten minutes later, I was laying on my bed, happily enjoying my Mocha, still in my wet clothing when I snapped. I can’t explain it any other way, really. I had to have lost my mind, it was the only thing I could think of.
I picked up my cell phone, called the student directory, and found Bryan’s number.
“You prick! You bet you’re ass we’ll have a rematch! And after . . . After . . . Well, after that! You deserve to have you’re ass kicked and soundly. I play dirty, I’ll have you know, so don’t think you’ll take me down so easily!” With a deep breath, I let my head fall into my hand. “When you get this message, please just delete it, forget you ever heard it, and know it was a complete moment of insanity that had me calling you in the first place. Don’t even mention this message to me, for I will not remember it by sheer force of will.”
Click.
How dumb was I? What in the hell possessed me to call him? Jeeze!
Imagine how badly I jumped when not three minutes later, someone was knocking on my door.
Bryan stood there, laughing of course, with my wet clothing and shoes in his hand, cell phone in the other hand, and water dripping from his hair into his face. “So, I guess I shouldn’t mention the message or the rematch you so admirably challenged me to? And why are you still in your wet gi?”
Well, this was just too much temptation, what with him looking all wet and sexy. I grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss, moaning low in my throat when he dropped my clothing into a wet puddle in the hall and pulled me closer to him. Walking backwards into the room with him, I heard him push the door closed with his foot.
“I still hate you, you know,” I said against his mouth in between kisses.
It was like a war of the tongues, both vying for domination and this time, I wasn’t about to lay down and roll over. He struck something in me I couldn’t describe. It was better than any girl I’d screwed over the last five years. Granted, some of them were pretty good and one of them I still badly wanted to get back with, but Bryan was in a different category all together!
With very busy hands, he soon had the top of my gi pulled down to my biceps, effectively pinning my arms. My breath hissed between my teeth as he nibbled at my collar bone.
“You want to hate me, but you can’t can you?” He teased my left nipple with the tip of his tongue before sucking it in to his heated mouth to torment it with gentle tugs. “Most people don’t throw themselves at me when they hate me.”
“I didn’t throw myself at you!” Pushing him back against the door, I nipped at the side of his neck, making him quiver and take in a ragged breath. “You started this, remember that.”
“Jeeze-us! You do play dirty,” he whispered, gripping his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Damn straight.” With a few well placed shrugs and wiggles, I managed to dislodge my imprisoning top, leaving it bunched around my waist. I tugged impatiently at his wet sweater, pulling it over his head with a vicious tug. When it plopped onto my roommates bed, I began to attack his jeans. I wanted him badly; I wanted him naked and I wanted it right now. His own hands were trying to untangle the knot he’d created in the drawstring of my pants with his shaking hands. It was empowering knowing that I was having as much of an effect on him as he was having on me. Made me smirk when I had his pants undone around his ankles while he was still wrestling with mine.
Pulling his hands away, I turned him around and shoved him onto my bed. I think he managed maybe one bounce before I pounced on him, taking his chilled skin in my hands, feeling it pulse against my palm.
He sucked in a breath and bucked his hips.
“Ooo, impatient, aren’t you,” I smirked, sitting on his legs. He jumped and I remembered that my pants were soaked and probably cold as all Hell. My smile just widened.
“Fuck, what are we doing?” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying desperately to get his body back under his own control. “I planned on feeling you out first, then maybe a little romance, a bit of wine, some seduction. And here we are with you jumping on me? What the hell, Tiger?”
I leaned in close, licking his ear lobe, delighting in his shiver. “I’ve no idea, but I’m enjoying the hell out of it, aren’t you?”
“Oh, God, yes,” he breathed when my hand began to move again. I loved watching his face tense almost in painful ecstasy. The emotions, the lose of control in my partner was one of the most rewarding things about sex to me. I loved every moment of it as I took him to the brink only to bring him back.
Moving over to his other ear, I let my tongue trace every sensitive part. “I’m going to fuck you, you know that, don’t you.”
“If you don’t, I may die right now.”
With a yank, I managed to pull my pants off, busting the drawstring in the process. I settled myself in between his legs, pulling his knees up to wrap them around my waist. With a grin, I entered him in one thrust.
Crying out, he lifted his hips, gripping the bed under him forcefully. His ass convulsed around me, making me grit my teeth in response. When his muscles began to loosen, I began to move, penetrating him deeply. With every thrust, I hit his prostrate.
“Yes, Tiger, yes!”
“Say my name, Bryan.”
“Mmm,” His lip was clenched between his teeth again, his eyes scrunched up tightly.”
“Show me those beautiful eyes and say my name,” I panted over him watching every emotion flicker across his face like the pages of a book.
With one last mighty thrust, I felt him begin to come as he cried out loud enough for everyone on the floor to hear him, “Sean!”
As he came, he clenched around me sending me over the edge. His orgasm was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and even as I was loosing myself in my own, I swore to myself I’d see him come again.
Several minutes later, we lay there panting together, holding hands on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I looked over at him with a grin. “So, you ready for another rematch?”
“Only if you are, Tiger. I wouldn’t want to ware you out.”
With a grin and a growl, I showed him just how much energy I still had.
In the month that followed, we began to see each other a lot, even when I was no longer attending Karate class. We hung out, got to know each other, and finally he convinced me to date him officially. And, believe me, it took him awhile to convince me. I stopped killing myself on caffeine, and even started taking better care of myself because I knew I’d see him again. Somehow, he managed to make me care, not just about him, but about myself again. That is something I’ll cherish forever. I just hope he’ll remain by my side, and I’ll work to make sure that happens.