My heart started to pick up speed as the bus got closer and closer to Brawly. The road was framed with beautiful fields of green and yellow. Tractors and trailers were moving around carrying farm supplies and farm workers to their designated destinations. Many fields were shimmering under the bright afternoon sun, indicating the presence of water as the irrigation canals emptied into them. Rows of white birds were spread all over those fields, searching for food and maybe even socializing at the local watering holes.
Occasionally a large orchard of fruit trees broke the continuity of this otherwise never-ending view of knee-high crops. Workers were busy in many places picking vegetables or fruit, weeding, or tending to other farm related activities. Many farm houses scattered along the road were also showing a lot of activity as people tended to animals and other chores of the day.
Most of the landscape, along with the landmarks that I was so familiar with, showed no signs of aging. Even the city of Brawly had the same look and feel; despite the cosmetic differences I noticed from before. There was a certain amount of comfort in knowing that as my personal life had gone through drastic changes, things around my area had stayed pretty stable.
I was excited—and apprehensive at the same time—about coming home. I was excited at the prospect of seeing my mom and my sister, but I was apprehensive about the fact that there were bound to be complaints about not having written or having called often enough, and grievances about not having visited in the last three or so years, considering I was only half a day’s drive away from home.
I had no answers for them. I didn’t write because I was busy with studies, lab work, writing programs, and having to work to supplement my scholarship and student loans. I didn’t call because most of the time there was nothing to say and whenever I thought of calling, something came up to make me postpone the call, until it became so late that not calling seemed easier than calling. I didn’t visit them because…well, because I was hiding from them, from myself, and from my past.
Our farm was about midway between the city of Brawly and the city of Imperial in the heart of Imperial Valley in California. The main highway that connects the two cities, takes people to Palm Springs on one side and to El Centro and Mexicali on the other. There is a small road that branches off of it in the direction of our farm, located about four miles off of the main highway, tucked away in the middle of nowhere and completely surrounded by a fence of tall trees—a legacy of my grandfather and his fondness for seclusion. Considering that our farm is only fifteen minutes away from either of the cities, it’s not a total isolation, but it does make socializing a bit difficult because it requires some effort from those who want to visit us.
I asked the bus driver to drop me at the start of that road. My mom and my sister did not know I was coming because I wanted my visit to be a surprise. It was going to be one hell of a surprise because I was coming home carrying a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science from the University of California, Riverside. I was on the verge of a successful career and my life was about to change forever—hopefully for the better.
The walk home was brisk, yet pleasant. Those fields brought back memories of my youth when I used to hunt doves and pigeons during the hunting season. The irrigation canal that went into our fields was still wet, indicating that the water had been through it recently. It was easy to enter through that canal into our farm and as I stepped through and made it to the other side of the trees, strong feelings of nostalgia hit me hard. This farm had the same look and shape of two years ago, which was the same as ten years ago when I was a teenager and I used to run around those very trees and trample the crops that were growing there. Our house was standing in the middle with a timeless beauty and splendor. I could almost hear my mother calling for me to come in because the dinner was ready.
I saw some workers in the fields but it wasn’t too difficult to get close to the house without being noticed. Some women were tending to the cows near our barn. I recognized a couple of them who had been with my mom for years but others were new, at least to me. One woman in particular caught my eye. She was a tall, buxom, and vivacious beauty, practically spilling out of her jeans and shirt. Her long, beautiful, blond hair was tied in a neat ponytail behind her back and she was dropping bales of hay in front of the animals with her strong arms.
I watched her silently. I don’t know what it is about a grown woman lifting things, bending over, and moving around carefree without knowing that she is being watched; but I found myself captivated. I couldn’t see her face but I found myself looking closely at her body. She was very attractive, even from behind, and she looked very sexy. Her long legs and full behind moved with such grace, I felt myself getting warm all over.
My eyes popped out of their sockets when she turned around and I realized that I had been ogling my own sister all that time. I couldn’t believe that my skinny, lanky, four-eyed teenager sister, who was barely past her eighteenth birthday when I last saw her, was a full grown, full-bodied, and effervescent woman. I almost slapped myself for the thoughts that I was having earlier and tried to shake the image out of my head of that sexy woman with her long legs wrapped around my waist as I buried myself deep within her. But not before taking a good look at her larger than life breasts. She had bloomed so much in the last three or so years. I guess my mom’s genes must have kicked in sometime during my absence.
I couldn’t contain myself and quickly came out into the open. My arrival was so sudden that for a few seconds it did not register in her mind that it was me, her brother, standing in front of her. Once it did though, she ran towards me and almost knocked me down as she took me into her arms. She had also become quite strong.
I remembered how I used to wrestle her and pin her all the time. She used to beg me to release her. But that was that other tall and scrawny girl. This one could give me run for my money any day and most likely I would have to beg her to release me.
She was screaming and I heard my mother come running out of the house to see what was happening. Once it registered in her mind as well that her son was standing in front of her, she also took me into her arms. Mind you, I am not a puny little thing; I tower above both of them; but their enthusiasm was far more overwhelming than mine as they overpowered me.
Hugs, kisses, complaints, and finally relief and happiness, all followed each other in a very short period of time. As I was being showered with so much affection, I had this strong sense of sadness at the distance that I had created between them and me, which now seemed so one sided. It was apparent that they didn’t share my feelings and the jubilation beaming from both of them told me that they actually missed me tremendously and were now over the moon at my return.
My sister’s body language clearly showed how happy she was to have me back. She was much keyed up, running here and there, getting coffee ready, bringing me something cold to drink, or taking my bag into my room. She had left her chores undone and lavished all of her attention on me, with occasional hug thrown in here and there. It was weird to see my little docile sister so animated and it was strange to receive unbridled hugs from her. I don’t know if she was aware of her soft breasts coming into contact with my chest and arms so uninhibitedly.
My mom was a little subdued though. I guess her way of expressing her happiness, or may be the regret of our separation, was through her tears. I gave her a hug of apology and tried to bring her out of it, but she had her own way of dealing with things, so I had to leave her alone after a while.
Things settled down by the time I finished my refreshments. My sister led me to my old bedroom where she had already placed my bag. They had installed a new bathroom and I decided to take a long, hot shower to rid myself of all the tiredness from the journey. In the meantime, she went back to finish her chores and mom busied herself with dinner preparations.
It didn’t take long for the news to break out and we had a steady stream of well-wishers all through the evening. I hadn’t realized the importance of my achievement, or rather it hadn’t hit me quite so strongly as it did when all those people kept telling me how proud they were of my success and how they wished me a prosperous future. They congratulated my mom and my sister and I could see in both of their demeanors that they too were very proud of me. I felt good, for a change.
I couldn’t help but notice how industrious my sister had become in just a few years. She was running around serving drinks, making tea and coffee, letting people in or seeing them off, and all the while finding plenty of time to chat with the visitors. It all seemed so effortless. She was wearing a skirt and a blouse, instead of her jeans and shirt from before, and this new dress made her look even more womanly than before. I had trouble keeping my eyes off of her, as did many of the guests, both male and female.
It was close to midnight when I went to bed. Years of living in a squalid hovel at UCR student housing compound had changed my sleeping habits quite a bit from the days I used to live here. I no longer wore night clothes and I had developed this habit of hanging my clothes in the bathroom, to be used the next day, while I slept only in my briefs, also to be used the next day, to cut down on my laundry time. I started to do the same that night as I prepared for my sleep when my sister came in to wish me goodnight.
Fortunately I had only removed my shirt so I greeted her in my undershirt and pants. She placed her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug. She said: “It is so nice to have you back home, KD. This place was so empty without you.”
I put my arms around her waist. My sister had a fairly thick waist, so my arms held her snug and tight. I said: “It is nice to be back, Sis. I missed this place and the people living here.”
Once again, I felt strange at the warmth and softness that I found now penetrating my chest. It was amazing to have her in my arms. Even though she was my sister, her body in my arms had the same sweet effect on me that any other woman would’ve had. She felt nice and try as I might, I couldn’t keep my blood from rushing to my briefs.
I did feel guilty though about being excited at what could only be innocent affection of my sister. She probably didn’t even know that her breasts were having that kind of effect on me. She gave me a gentle squeeze and held herself against me a little harder before she pulled away. I slowly opened my arms and released her.
She stood a short distance away from me, looking down on the floor. It seemed she was a bit hesitant and didn’t know what she should do next. I just waited for her to decide because I didn’t know what was on her mind. I thought that maybe she didn’t want to leave yet, but then if she wanted to stay longer, there was nothing stopping her. I would have enjoyed her visit if it were extended a little longer. There was some reason why she thought it would be wrong for her to stay, if that was what she was thinking, but I couldn’t think of any.
After a brief pause, long enough to be noticeable but short enough to not be uncomfortable, she looked in my face with what I can only describe as vacant eyes. She said, softly: “Well…goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sis.” I found myself almost choking.
She quickly turned and made her way to the door. I couldn’t stop myself from peeking at her behind to refresh my memory of the view when I had seen her with those bales of hay. The skirt hid her curves well and there was only a vague presentation of her nice ass, but it did reveal some of her calves and they looked quite sexy. She had, what some would describe as shapely legs. Her skin was vibrant and her stride was very graceful.
As she was about to exit, she stopped and turned to look at me. She asked: “If there is anything you need, let me know.”
“I will. Thanks.” I said and smiled at her.
She gave me a quick, but full, look before she closed the door behind her. I was a little perplexed at the hesitance in her movements. I was also a bit confused by her look, which seemed to be coming from a stranger, not my sister. Although, after such a long separation and after being as distant as I thought we had become, we were kind of strangers. On the other hand, siblings can only be so distant before that genetic bond comes forward and reclaims the space.
As I dozed off that evening, I was keenly aware of the softness on my chest and the tension that I felt in my briefs. It was a mixture of warmth and guilt; sort of sweet and sour feelings. Neither of which I could help, but neither that should have really been there. For a brief second, as I drifted to the shadows of my dreams, I wondered if she was also feeling a similar effect.
The onslaught of visitors continued throughout the next day and the next evening. I didn’t get a chance to sit with my mom or spend time with my sister because I was kept busy by my well-wishers and my fans—apparently, some girls realized the potential inherent in my degree and came to subtly make their availability known to me, to my amusement and to my mom and my sister’s annoyance.
Once again I could only go to bed around midnight, but this time I checked myself and waited for her to come before getting ready for my sleep. She was smiling when she asked: “So, how does it feel to be the center of so much attention.”
I laughed: “Weird! I didn’t know we had so many eligible girls in this town.”
She also laughed: “Well, most are tied up with one person or another. But, can’t blame them for trying their luck, now, can we—considering you are probably the only real eligible man in this town.”
“You must be joking.” I was surprised to hear her comment. “I remember a ton of guys who must be grown men by now, ready for commitments.”
“Nah. We only have boys here. No grown men. And none ready for any kind of commitment.”
I sensed some anguish in her comment and decided to just drop the subject. She didn’t pursue it any further either.
“Well, I came for my goodnight hug.” She moved towards me with her arms raised. She was wearing another skirt and blouse combo and looked rather good in it, as before.
This time I held my sister in my arms; not that sexy, blond woman. As a result I was a bit more comfortable in holding her against me. My mind and my body did register the size and softness of her breasts and my arms did notice the warmth of her body, but she was my sister and there was nothing more to it. Even the residual lingering on her part after our big hug failed to affect me.
I did feel good, though, with her body in my arms and I did enjoy the smell coming from her hair and clothes, but that was my sister’s sweet aroma and even though it was as intoxicating as that of any other woman, my mind knew that I was holding my sister. Her softness was arousing but only at the primal level. Although, I did wonder, briefly, about her lingering at the end of our hug but I didn’t make too much out of it.
Softness, tension, warmth, and sweetness, all accompanied me once again to my dreamland. I was able to lessen the guilt by accepting my reaction as normal, as long as our hugs stayed just innocent goodnight hugs. Although I couldn’t imagine for them to be anything more than that; I mean how could they be. There was no way for my sister and me to actually go any further.
The number of visitors dwindled the following day. There were a couple of fans who came for a repeat visit; otherwise it turned out to be rather a quiet day. I still didn’t get to spend time with my mom or my sister, but I was able to retire to my bedroom a lot earlier than midnight.
I waited for my sister to come for the goodnight ritual she had started. She was wearing a one piece dress. The material was thinner than her previous outfits and because there was no double layer of clothing around her waist, I could feel the contours of her lower back more clearly than before. When I held her against me and my arms wrapped around her waist, I found the palm of my hand caress the small of her back ever so slightly.
She squirmed at the feel of my hand caressing her back and the movement of her body, slight as it was, caused her breasts to caress my chest. The whole thing was involuntary, the movement of my hand or the movement of her chest, but the effect was quite strong. There was a shock in her body language and I tensed up in response. I released her prematurely thinking I had done something wrong and she pulled away rather hurriedly. It was quite obvious that we felt awkward about something, whatever it was there to feel awkward about.
“Sorry,” I uttered, again involuntarily.
She stood a short distance away from me, as she had done on the first day, looking down on the floor. Once again, it seemed she was a bit hesitant and didn’t know what to do next. Without looking at me, she said goodnight and left the room.
“Goodnight, Sis.” I found myself saying to a closing door.
I knew there was nothing wrong with what had happened. My caress was pretty innocent and her movement was accidental. At the same time there was something definitely wrong with what was in our minds—well, at least in my mind. That’s why I reacted out of panic, caused by the slight guilt that was nagging in the back of my head for feeling the softness of her breasts; and that in return had made her react out of unease, definitely caused by something that was nagging in the back of her head. I couldn’t guess what it could be, but there must have been something, and that something must have been on the same lines as my guilt.
I tried to sleep but sleep was miles away from my eyes. I was feeling ill at ease and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do next. I didn’t want her to feel awkward around me. I didn’t care if it meant the end of our goodnight ritual, but at least we could feel comfortable knowing that everything was quite chaste. I wanted to convey that message to her but I didn’t know if I had enough of a reason to even bring it up. Definitely it needed to be brought up, but how? I couldn’t resolve that dilemma.
Around midnight or so, my door opened and she peeked in. She whispered: “KD, are you awake?”
I got up to a sitting position and said: “Yes, I am. Come in.”
She walked in slowly and stood next to my bed. She had changed into shorts and a rather formfitting T-shirt. I guessed them to be her night clothes. Her T-shirt was showcasing her upper body very nicely. Her broad shoulders, a natural result of her larger than average chest, were striking as was her waist and stomach. I am a sucker for that small outward curve some girls have below their bellybutton as their stomach recedes down to their pubic zone. My sister had that and her T-shirt had a few folds around that part which actually drew more attention to it. My eyes jumped from her breasts to her curve below the bellybutton and on down to her knees and the bit of her thighs that was visible below her shorts. You can tell how sexy a woman is from the way her thighs, her knees and her calves come together. My sister had rather lovely knees and her thighs and calves made very attractive curves around them.
She said: “I couldn’t sleep. I guess I have gotten used to sleeping after midnight and now I am feeling a little edgy about sleeping earlier than that.”
I pondered her use of the word “edgy”. It conveyed more meanings than simply not being able to sleep early. What was it that was making her feel edgy, that’s what I wanted to know?
I threw my two bits worth at her: “Yeah. Me too. I am having trouble sleeping as well.” In a way, I tried to tell her that I was feeling “edgy” as well, hoping that she would read into it and realize that something was up on my side as well.
By coming back to my room, she had made the first move to end the awkwardness that had crept up between us. Only it was an indirect move and there was no clear-cut way for me to respond to it. I just sat there quietly, thinking of what to say next, as did she while standing next to me.
She was the first to come up with something after a long pause. “You haven’t seen the farm yet. How about tomorrow I take you around?”
I smiled with relief. “Yeah, that would be nice. I’ll look forward to it.”
She smiled as well, as the tension faded from her body.
“Good. So, it’s a date.”
“Yeah, it’s a date.” I felt quite at ease.
She folded her hands behind her back, bent a little forward, and swayed her torso as she said: “Shall we try our goodnight thing again?”
There was a glint of playfulness in her eyes and a touch of naughtiness on her lips. She looked cute and I was moved by her subtle way of bringing up a subject that I had no idea about how to bring it up. There was acknowledgement of the fact that we had overreacted and of the fact that there was something to overreact to; only we shouldn’t have and she was now trying to undo whatever that needed to be undone. In other words, she wanted to start over and get past the earlier incident. I felt relieved, especially for not being the only one who had felt awkward.
“We can, only that I am not as decent now as I was earlier.”
She laughed a good, hearty laugh. “Well, in that case, I will only look above your bellybutton.”
“No, really.” I said with seriousness. “I am not decent. I am only in my briefs. First turn around and let me get decent.”
Once she realized my seriousness, she quickly turned around. I was reluctant in getting out from under the blanket, but I eventually did. I went to the closet and put my pants on quickly and then retrieved my undershirt from the dresser. Once I was “decent”, I said: “Okay. I am now ready.” As a joke, I wrapped the bed sheet around my waist pretending to do it for the sake of modesty. She had another laugh as I stood in front of her.
She put her arms around my neck and I placed my arms around her waist. As she pressed into me, I realized that her T-shirt was even more effective than her one piece dress in enhancing the contours of her back. At the same time, there was a lot less material between her and me, so the softness was even more penetrating than before. Her breasts felt good on my chest even though her bra was taking away some of the heavenly feelings oozing out of her T-shirt.
I deliberately caressed the small of her back and she squeezed me on purpose to show that it didn’t matter this time. Just to drive the point home, we held each other longer than we had done previously. She lingered on as I was reluctant to open my arms. Our conversation about not being decent and about looking above my bellybutton had put some ease into our hug. We were relaxed about it and it was okay with both of us to be in each other’s arms like that. She was comfortable with my pretend semi-nakedness and I was comfortable with her breasts pressing into my heart. It was after all only a goodnight hug. Nothing more.
When we eventually separated, she said enthusiastically: “Well…goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sis.” I responded with equal zeal. I had no guilt about hugging her and I enjoyed the softness of her body and warmth of her breasts with more contentment.
She stopped at the door and turned around to give me a full look. Then said: “Tomorrow. Early.”
I smiled and replied: “Yes, early.”
I had trouble sleeping again for a long time, but this time the restlessness was for different reasons.
We were barely two acres away from the house the next morning when one of the help came running after us. My mom had sent her to inform us that I had a special visitor. My sister asked her: “Who is it?”
“It’s Maria,” she replied.
I was surprised to hear that name. I didn’t expect her to come and see me, but she did come and I had to go and see her.
My sister wasn’t happy at this interruption in our plans and particularly because it was Maria who interrupted us. She said, rather gruffly: “What the hell does she want?”
“I’ll go find out,” I replied as I came back to the house.
Maria was my past and my sister knew the history. My heart was still bleeding from the breakup, when she had told me that she couldn’t wait for me while I went away to study. I had never quite gotten over her or over the fact that she didn’t even wait that long before getting married to someone else. Apparently, neither did my sister, who never forgave her.
After Maria’s visit, which lasted a couple of hours, another surprise came looking for me. The dean of the Imperial Valley College came to see me with a few of the faculty members and they took me for a tour of the campus. I ended up spending the whole day with them which was followed by a nice dinner afterwards. I didn’t get back home until late at night when everyone seemed to have turned in by that time.
I took my time freshening up as I mulled over the day’s proceedings. When I came out, I only had my towel wrapped around me, thinking that no one was coming into my room. I was somewhat surprised to see my sister sitting on my bed waiting for me. I felt a little self-conscious, but she seemed upset for some reason. I wanted to at least put my undershirt on, but seeing the gloom on her face, I decided to just tend to her. That seemed more urgent.
She asked: “So, how was the visit.”
I replied in a tired voice: “It was nice. I have the opportunity to start a new department at the college. Even though I only have a BS, the dean and the faculty are willing to …”
She cut me short: “I am talking about the other visit.”
I had to think for a second before realizing that she meant Maria. “Oh, that. It was okay.”
“Okay.” She was very serious. “What do you mean okay?”
“How shall I put it?” I thought carefully before giving my answer. “It was sad.”
“Sad,” she seemed surprised. “How so?”
“You know how crazy I was about her. Well, I am still crazy about her, but it wasn’t the same. I used to think…no, I used to feel that my life ended with her loss, but now I can’t help but wonder why I used to feel that way, or rather that strongly.”
She just listened while looking at me, again with those vacant eyes of hers.
I continued: “I don’t think she is happy with her life, and I find that sad as well.”
“Well, it serves her right. She doesn’t deserve to be happy.”
I found her remark to be rather cruel, but I decided to let it go. I didn’t expect her to hold a grudge on my behalf, but apparently she did and she was feeling some sort of resentment towards Maria. I couldn’t help but notice that there was more to her seriousness and I couldn’t figure out what it could be or why it was that way.
I looked at her and found her deep in thought, staring at the nails of her right hand. Her hair was a little disheveled. I stood in front of her and moved one strand away from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. I asked: “What’s the matter, Cris? You look upset.”
She didn’t answer. Instead she bit one of her nails and dropped her hands to her knees. I felt like there was something she wanted to say, but couldn’t. Another strand fell and blocked her other eye. While I moved it away and tucked it behind her other ear, she reached forward with her hand and gently held the edge of my towel which was hanging in front of my thighs. I felt this sudden rush in my groin.
The way she had reached out nonchalantly and held the flap in her fingers, tugging at it a little, feeling the fabric, I found that to be very erotic. Whether my mind wanted to or not, my body responded and I felt some movement between my legs. The longer she held that flap, the more aroused I became and my cock stiffened along with it. I could see the towel rising slowly and steadily. Because she was sitting at almost eye level with it, I was afraid that she would probably notice my reaction. I didn’t want her to see my erection but at the same time I didn’t want her to move her hand away either.
She asked, softly: “So…how did it feel to be in her presence?”
I looked at her carefully before answering that question. Her interest in Maria wasn’t just casual. Apparently, she was fishing for something, but what, I could only guess. I guessed she didn’t want me to entertain any ideas of picking up with Maria, knowing that she was now married. Most likely she didn’t want me to get hurt again because it was quite devastating the last time.
But there was something else that troubled me. There was a shadow on her face that betrayed her emotions. If she didn’t want me to get hurt, all she had to do was to just come out and tell me to be careful. It seemed like she didn’t want me to feel about Maria the way I used to feel for some other reason; something deeper and more personal. It was almost like she was being territorial, but what gave her that right, I couldn’t fathom. Even her being territorial was rather passive; almost like she was hoping for me not to be interested in Maria any longer, but if I was, she would have to accept it.
She had stopped moving her fingers around the flap of my towel; she only held it while waiting for my answer. I was fully erect by that time. My heartbeat had increased considerably and my breathing had become uneven as a result. I decided to say nothing. She was looking at her fingers, which meant she was looking at my towel, which further meant that she was looking at the bulge in the towel. She waited for my answer as I waited for her next move. There was something very attractive about her portfolio at that time that I found myself drawn to the image in front of me.
She looked up to see my face, basically to see why I wasn’t answering her. I was at an arm’s length from her. When her face came up, I moved closer, slightly pushing her hand towards her with my thigh. I reached with both hands and held her face with them. I said: “Don’t worry, Cris. Things are not the same as before.”
“But you said that you are still crazy about her,” She said in a sad voice and I could see a little quiver in her lips. Something dawned on, as if I understood what was going on in her mind. It was as if she was feeling jealous and wanted me to reassure her for something that I never thought I would have to worry about, that my feelings for Maria meant nothing.
I looked straight into her eyes, feeling soft and gentle towards her, still holding her face in my hands, and with as much sincerity as I could muster in my look, I said: “Maria means nothing to me, Cris. She was my past and she is now history. So, don’t worry.”
With those words, I reached down and held her hand that was holding my towel and gently pulled her up. She was reluctant to get up but I persisted until she gave in and stood in front of me. I then took her other hand in my other hand and brought both of them to my waist. After placing them there, I reached around her shoulders with my arms to give her a hug and waited for her to move into me; which she did, after some hesitation. I held her gently against me as she rested her head on my shoulder.
We stood like that for a long time. I had to shift my weight from one foot to another while holding her like that and found us both swaying to silence. It was a very tender moment between us, with me holding her knowing that she needed a hug, and her resting into me, almost melted into me, happy to be held and thankful for the emotional support, whatever reason there was for her needing such support. I had successfully diffused her dilemma while creating a new one for myself.
When we did separate, we didn’t quite let go of each other. I held my hands on her arms and her hands fell down to my hips, at the top part of the towel that was wrapped around me. We stood there like that for a while; me trying to figure out from her face what she was thinking, while she looked at my chest as if trying to avoid my gaze.
I noticed that the front of her T-shirt had gotten wet from the residual water on my body that I hadn’t quite dried completely. Wherever the moisture went into the fabric of her shirt, it clung to her body in a very sensuous way. That was the second erotic thing for the evening.
At first I thought of not saying anything, but the moment seemed right for me to show some additional tenderness towards her. I reached slowly and rubbed my hand on her T-shirt, while saying: “I am sorry, Sis. I made you wet.”
She looked down on my hand which was caressing the area between her neck and her cleavage, and replied: “It’s okay. I kind of like the feelings.”
I knew we had bonded at a different level. It wasn’t a brother offering a shoulder to his sister. It was—and the realization sent a chill through my body, almost a wave of fear—a man providing just the right response to a woman. I had created a new dimension in our relationship and I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. May be our relationship now included friendship as part of its ingredients, or even more. If that was true, then it was indeed a very special thing for us both in addition to being brother and sister.
There was no denying that there was a certain amount of intimacy between us, but there was no way for me to consider it sexual, although my responses were quite clearly sexually motivated. I was feeling aroused. I had a tremendous erection. My body was warm all over. My breathing was irregular. But, nowhere in my mind were the thoughts of actually having sex with my sister, and I wasn’t entertaining any fantasies about laying her.
Yes, we were overly affectionate, but I attributed it to the rubber band effect of our separation. We had extended quite far in one direction because of the distance I had created between us, and were now just snapping back in the other direction. But, I expected us to soon stabilize and get back to our normal, natural state of being. The moment seemed perfect for me to pull her into myself once again for another hug and she responded by moving against me. We held each other once again, listening to the silence of the night and the sounds of our breathing.
I don’t know if she came back to my room later that night or not because I fell asleep soon after hitting the bed. When I woke up the next morning and looked for her, she had gone to the city for some errands. I wanted to take her up on that tour offer but I had to leave it for another day.
I did finally get a chance to spend some time with my mom.
She gave me breakfast and joined me with her cup of coffee when I finished. We made some small talk and then finally I asked her: “So, how are you mom?”
She replied: “I am okay son. It is nice to have you back.”
“No, mom. How are you, really?”
“I am okay son.” She repeated her answer. I guess she didn’t quite catch my emphasis. “A bit lonely, but okay otherwise.” Then again, maybe she did.
“Well, this place can do that to you. Have you made any efforts to counter that?”
“There is not much one can do about it. This place is too small and the possibilities are little to nil.”
I sort of knew what she was talking about but I didn’t want to dig too deep. It was my mother we were talking about and I had a limited number of suggestions before things became uncomfortable for the both of us. I just listened.
“Things have changed quite a bit in the last few years. People have changed as well. It is becoming harder and harder to determine the true nature of friends and acquaintances.”
“Surely there are some people one can trust, or hang out with.” I offered my opinion, rather reluctantly.
“Used to be. Even youngsters today are having the same kind of problems that I am having.”
“I find that hard to believe. I mean, forget about the normal hangouts. What about the college? There must be a ton of smart intelligent youngsters one can associate with. Even some adults like you.” I was basically shooting in the dark. I felt odd talking about the youngsters like that; as if I was from a totally different generation.
“Well, the normal hangouts no longer exist because of two main problems that seem to be plaguing the young people of today: drugs and gangs. The college scene requires more energy than it is worth. Students there are temporary; they have nothing long term to offer.”
“But, what I remember from a few years back, there must be plenty of people one can hang out with.”
“Son, I am not talking about sex here. There are plenty of guys willing to go to bed with you…well, with us, me and your sister that is. We are talking about something deeper, something that doesn’t make you feel cheap and tawdry.”
Well, that is not how far I wanted the conversation to go. Since it had gone that far, I had no choice but to carry it further.
“So, Cris is also going through the same things as you are. But she is a beautiful girl. She shouldn’t have any problems.”
“Sadly, she does. We both are in the same boat. Only, she is not as bad now as she used to be.”
“What do you mean? What has changed for her? Maybe the same can change for you.”
She was quiet. She didn’t want to answer me even though I could sense the words just stuck on her tongue.
I prodded further: “What has changed for her, mom? How are things different for her? Why is she not as bad as she used to be? Whatever the reason, it can also benefit you.”
She deliberated for a while, then said: “She is happier, or rather more content, now. She doesn’t seem to be as moody or as volatile as she was before. She has found a placebo for her so called ailment, and this placebo is helping her just like the real medicine would.”
“Okay, now you are talking in riddles, mom. You need to make some sense.”
“I don’t want to put words to things that are better left alone, son. She has found a solution to her dilemma. It doesn’t matter if the solution is somewhat unorthodox. What matters is that she has accepted the solution as her only recourse under the circumstances. As long as she is fine with it, no one should care, or know for that matter.”
“But you know, mom. Doesn’t that make a difference?”
“Well, I am her sister-in-arms, so it makes no difference that I know. I just hope she is more secretive where others are concerned.”
“But you approve of it, or rather, you don’t disapprove of it.” I was starting to get a hint about what my mother was talking about and I felt a chill run down my spine.
“I have decided that it is probably the best thing for her; as long as things stay under control. There is nothing that I want more than to see my daughter get some joy out of her youth.”
“What about you then? Doesn’t the same thing work for you? Don’t you want to get some joy out of your youth?” My heart skipped a beat as I finished those sentences. I was quite sure I knew what we were talking about, and it made me feel petrified.
“I have thought about it, but I am afraid—no, I am sure—I will not get the same response as her, and I won’t be able to undo the damage as easily as she will, being young and wild.”
I took my mother’s words in and carefully thought of the significance of her confession. It must have been very difficult for her to tell me as much as she did. At the same time, my mind was having trouble grasping the enormity of her words or the implications hidden between the lines.
I thought for a while and then asked: “But, how is this going to be a substitute for the real thing. I mean, the placebo has its benefits, but it can’t replace the real medicine when only the real medicine will do.”
“It is not a replacement for the real thing, son. It is the real thing—while it lasts. That is the difference between your sister and the rest of the world. To her, it will be the same as if it happened the way it happens to other people. As long as it is pure and respectful, and hopefully passionate as well.”
I was buried under her words. It took a long time for me to dig myself out. Finally, I managed to utter my question: “But, what about you mom?”
“I’ll live, son. I’ll live.”
I sat there, contemplating what she’d said. My mind raced this way and that as a new dimension opened up and I walked right into it, curious, afraid, enthralled, and unnerved beyond belief.
I went up to my mom and gave her a hug.
Now there was a woman who really needed a hug. She’d been a pillar of strength for both of us and I don’t remember ever thanking her properly for her devotion, or rather for her sacrifices. If things looked bleak for Cris, imagine how gloomy they were for her; considering her age and the lack of prospects for people of that age. As I held her body in my arms and felt her head on my chest, I couldn’t help but wonder about the potential hidden in that body of hers. It seemed like she was willing for it to be realized; only there was no acceptable way of approaching the subject. It would be quite thrilling, if one could, but she had made it clear that there was no way to start. I couldn’t help but picture her lying on a bed, legs up and spread, and a lot of pure and respectful passion making its way through her belly.
I was aware of my erection pressing into her thigh but I didn’t think I needed to worry about it. She stood pressed into me and pressed into my erection, apparently she didn’t worry about it either. I was hard as a result of the images I had playing in my head. My mother was in need of something that hard to play in her body. My mother had breasts that were much bigger than Cris’s and they were covering a lot more area on my chest. I was swimming in a sea of softness and warmth and this one had motherly touch to it.
That evening when Cris came for our goodnight hug, I held her tenderly and when—eventually—she tried to leave, I held her hand and asked her to sit and chat with me for a while.
“I haven’t had the opportunity to tell you how nice it is to be back with you and mom.” I started to say something, anything.
“Sure you have. You told me that the very first night.” She smiled as she replied to my comment.
“Well, I haven’t told you how much I like the changes that you have gone through.” It was my turn to smile at her. I wanted to catch her of guard, and apparently I did.
“What changes would those be?” She tried to sidestep my point.
“Well, the way you have grown into a beautiful young woman, the way you have managed the farm, the way you have transformed this family. Should I continue or is this enough?”
“No, continue, continue. Especially about the beautiful young woman part.” She laughed.
“Well, you probably don’t know this, but that day when I saw you for the first time after all these years, I didn’t even recognize you. I thought you were some other woman.”
“Well, I have changed a lot. Hard work and good food have managed to transform me into this.” She moved her hand up and down while pointing at her body to indicate that she was talking about her physical changes.
“Yes, as wonderful as those changes are…” I paused for effect, “You have also grown a lot mentally. You are very mature for your age.”
“Well, I am not that mature. I have these childish thoughts and longings, but I know I’ll get over them one of these years.”
“At the same time, those thoughts and longings may keep you young forever. Hey, who doesn’t want that?”
“Well, we’ll see.” She tried to change the subject.
“Listen, how about I take you up on your offer of giving me a tour around the farm? I promise I won’t let anyone interrupt us tomorrow.”
“Okay, I am game.”
“Maybe we can even make a picnic out of it.” I knew I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t want to seem anxious.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” She actually seemed quite enthused about the idea.
We spent most of the day on the farm. I helped her with a few tasks but mostly I just watched her at work as she told me about what she had done or what her plans were about different parts of it. She was quite the worker and she had some very good ideas. We had our picnic under the shadiest tree and spent a lot of time talking, about my university, people around town, things happening in the city, my plans with the college, and her life in general, about our mom, about some of our relatives, and so on. I listened to her very attentively and I complimented wherever a compliment was due. She showed a lot of enthusiasm about my prospects and how she was feeling proud of the way things were turning out for me.
We discussed everything, except our personal lives, romantically that is. She didn’t ask me anything about matters of my heart and I didn’t bring up the subject of her social life.
By the time we came home, we had become quite close, friendship or otherwise.
Over the weekend she asked me to go with her to the movies. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when she was finally ready to go. She’d spent time on making herself up and she’d dressed as if we were going on a real date. She looked gorgeous and I told her so repeatedly. I could tell that she was very happy with the compliments that I paid her. I even went so far as to buy her flowers when we were in the city. I even took her to dinner afterwards and it turned out to be quite a romantic evening.
During the following week, I took a trip to Palm Springs and asked her to go with me. We spent a nice day around town and I treated her first to a beautiful lunch and then to a nice dinner. We spent some time going around galleries and other nice spots.
Needless to say, we were dating, without formally asking each other out. It didn’t matter to others if I was with my sister, we were just spending time together, although all of our excursions were planned to keep intrusions to a minimum. The three cities we had to worry about were Brawly, Imperial, and El Centro. So we made trips beyond or away from them.
All the while our goodnight ritual continued, only with each visit out, our contacts became more leisurely. It was nice to be with my sister and to hold her in my arms when the night came, but it was all platonic. Our contacts did hold physical pleasure, but the impression was not that of sexual involvement. There was no way for us to justify such involvement and there was no way for us to approach the subject without a clear-cut hint from the other that it was okay to approach the subject that way. I couldn’t give her a hint like that without breaking a legal and moral trust. I would risk a lot of embarrassment and humiliation if everything was one sided only, although I was sure beyond belief that everything was not one sided.
I tried to read into her behavior to see if anything betrayed her motives, even though I remembered my mother’s conversation very clearly. But, nothing was black and white. My mother’s words were my mother’s; they had nothing to do with my sister and I couldn’t just act based on what my mom said. What if my mother read things wrong? Again, humiliation and shame would follow. Although, I was quite sure that my sister would not outright shun me. She may admonish me for being un-brotherly, but we had advanced quite far to be reproached severely. It is just that I didn’t want our relationship to change into just a brother-sister thing. I liked what we had. It was refreshing and invigorating.
As a result of our “dates”, we became very comfortable with each other and as a result of being together in movie theaters or in restaurants, or just being with each other on long drives, our physical contact became more frequent and our touches became less restricted.
She also started to spend more time in my room during the nights before going to sleep. Our goodnight ritual in the beginning involved her coming to my room, our hugging each other, and her going back to her room right after. As our familiarity increased, our ritual changed where she wouldn’t leave immediately after the hug, but hang around talking to me about different things and we would hug again when she would leave for the night.
At times we even found ourselves hugging more than twice. This physical contact was noted by both of us and it was clear that we both wanted it—or that we wanted more of it—only we couldn’t come out and admit it to each other. The taboo was still very strong despite our crumbling it down so far.
What we needed was a triggering point; a stimulus of some sort; something to initiate the events that would remove that boundary between us; a coup de grâce mind you.
She came to my room one night wearing a long T-shirt which came halfway down to her thighs. She wasn’t wearing any shorts so I assumed she was wearing her panties underneath. There was something about her that night that looked very alluring. It wasn’t her long and inviting legs or even the way that T-shirt clung to her curves; instead it were her nipples protruding through the thin material, quite visible, quite enticing, and quite vocal in declaring the lack of a bra.
That was the first time she had come in front of me without a bra. Her supple breasts had more freedom of movement and their shape was more defined, or rather refined, without the usual constrictions. She looked very sexy. Her breasts were much more fluid than usual and they practically danced with each move.
It was a bold step for her as she tried to be as casual with me as she had been during our previous goodnight encounters. Only her body was tense, her face flustered, and her demeanor was a little sheepish. It was obvious that she was feeling self-conscious, not knowing how I would react. It was also obvious from the looks she was giving me that she wanted me to react. She had made the first move, even though it was a very subtle one. But she has taken the first step to make our relationship more than what it had been up until then.
I had this strong urge to hold her in my arms and feel those breasts on my chest. I knew that she was probably expecting me to do something different and probably was ready for whatever it was that I would do. Throwing caution to the wind, I went ahead and took her into my arms. It was a usual move for me, because a hug had become such a big routine for us, but this time, I held her differently. I held her strongly, with my arms wrapped around the upper part of her body. I squeezed her into me with more force to increase the contact between our chests. I then did something new. I pressed my hands on her shoulder blades and gave a sudden push to force her breasts even deeper into my chest. It was a deliberate push and it would clearly give her the message that I was making our hug a sexual one.
She had her arms around my neck and she hugged me back with equal force. When my push on her shoulder blades squeezed our chest together so tightly, I felt a sudden burst of her breath near my ear and I think I heard a muffled sound as well, as if she was trying to silence her own reaction. It was clearly a positive response, and even an approval of what I had done.
I started to caress her back, softly and gently. I didn’t stop at the small of her back, I actually traced my palms over the entire of her back. I moved my hands cautiously, but passionately, stopping short of touching the top of her butt. I was holding a sexy, blond woman in my arms instead of my sister, and it was very intoxicating and very arousing. I shifted my upper body from right to left and then from left to right, ever so slightly and ever so gently, so that her nipples could trace lines across my chest. At one stage, I am pretty sure, my nipples must have caressed her nipples; both of our nipples were fully erect under the pressure of our emotions.
That was a big progress in awakening our sexual desires for each other, but there was still that boundary of us being brother and sister that we couldn’t move to the next level. We were still hugging each other under the disguise of a good night ritual. I wanted to kiss her but I just couldn’t make that move. I wanted to run my hands on her ass and thighs, but I just couldn’t make that advance. Even though we had given a strong hint about the possibility of moving to that level, there was this hesitation that I just couldn’t overcome at that particular moment. As a result, we had to finally separate, even though we did so very reluctantly.
We were sitting in a movie theater the following weekend when an idea came to my mind. We have become very close after that special hug of ours and I decided to see if I could increase our intimacy a little further. I moved the arm of the chair that was between us up and back, thus removing it from between us. I moved myself a little towards her to indicate that I wanted us to sit pressed into each other. She responded by moving towards me so that our legs were pressed together. Since there was no armrest between us, I just put my arm on her knee. I was testing her and if we were on a “date”, that would be my move after being together so many times. She didn’t take too long before she placed her hand on top of mine, as if accepting my move.
After a short while, I turned my palm upward so that it was the back of my hand on her leg and I invited her to place her hand into mine. She did so without any hesitation and I knew, clearly and unequivocally, that we were ready to move forward. I started to rub my hand against hers, slowly and sensuously. She responded by doing the same and soon I found her fingers in my fingers and we were holding hands like a boyfriend and girlfriend. As the movie progressed and the darkness of the theater made it easier to continue our contact, I started to rub my hand on her thigh. My heart jumped into my throat when she opened her legs to allow me to get between her thighs. As I rubbed my hand on her thighs, I looked towards her to see how she was doing. I could see that she was breathing a bit heavily and she was trying to hold it in. When she noticed that I was looking at her, she looked towards me and held her gaze. I moved my face a little towards her and she moved her face towards me.
Our faces were so close to each other that we could feel each other’s breathing. I moved my face so close to hers that our noses we touching on the sides. I didn’t open my mouth, I just moved in until my lips were almost touching hers. I waited to see what she would do next. She touched my lips with her. Just a light touch; a caress. We held our lips so close, barely touching, and I moved them side to side to trace on her lips with mine. She was the first to open her lips slightly and take my upper lip between them for a soft, dry kiss. I opened my mouth a little and kissed her back, taking her lips between mine and applying gentle pressure on them.
We started kissing each other, gently and softly, while holding each other’s hand. Nothing hurried, nothing fast. Just slow kisses, as if we had all the time in the world. We kissed pretty much all through the movie and walked out the theatre hand in hand, like a couple.
That was a good start. We went to a restaurant to eat and kissed a little more in the car. We drove back to the house and before exiting the car, we kissed some more. All this time, we only touched each other’s hands and kissed with our lips.
I went to my room and she went to hers. I brushed my teeth and freshened up a bit and waited for her to come.
When she came, she opened the door gently and stepped inside. She didn’t come too far, instead she held the knob of my open door in her hand, which was extended behind her, and closed the door by backing into it. Then she stood there with her body leaning into the door. Her face was flushed and she was breathing rather heavily. She didn’t want her heavy breathing to be noticeable so she tried to breathe through her mouth instead of her nose. She bit her lower lip as she stood there silently, looking at me rather intensely.
I was drawn to her like a magnet. I took her into my arms and she melted into me. I caressed her back as she caressed my shoulders. I rubbed her hips and her ass and she ran her fingers through my hair and over my face and my neck. Our movements were hurried, and somewhat disoriented as we tried to cover a lot of the surface area in very short time. We were trying to make up for all that wait we had gone through to reach this stage and now that we were there, we were like two hungry people who wanted to eat as much as they could in as short a time as possible.
I made the next move. I had been feeling her breasts through one kind of a barrier or another. Now I wanted to feel them without any obstruction in the way. I lifted her T-shirt and exposed her body all the way up to and above her breasts and quickly lodged myself against them. I could only moan with pleasure as I felt her nipples first and then the rest of her supple and pouting beauties. I then placed my hands on her buttocks and pressed my erection between her legs, right onto her pussy, as I pulled her pelvic area into me while pressing mine out into her. She gave a loud moan as her lips quickly found mine and soon thereafter we started to kiss passionately.
We kissed each other hard at first, rather softly afterwards, while our hands explored each other’s bodies. She ran her hands down my back and soon I found her go down inside my briefs and run her fingers lovingly on my buttocks, taking special care to trace along the crack. My hands found their way to her breasts and soon I had my hands full of her soft, shapely breasts, with my palm rolling her nipples around as my hand squeezed her breasts gently but firmly.
Our passions erupted, to say the least, into a firestorm. Her shirt came off, my briefs came down and her panties flew across the room. Our kissing continued as I lifted her up and led her to the bed. Her legs were clamped around my waist as I tried to push my cock into her as we made our way to the bed. I couldn’t wait for her body to hit the mattress as I tried to insert myself into her. We continued kissing as she fumbled around between her legs and quickly guided my rock hard penis into her vagina. I screamed almost in agony as I felt her open and my head made past her opening. She pulled my face down to hers as she grabbed my ass and urged me in deeper. With one huge thrust, I pushed myself as deep as it was physically possible while she took my tongue into her mouth and sucked on it as hard as she could.
Our mouths were still locked in that wonderful kiss as I started to move in and out of her, with a force that I didn’t know my body possessed. It was as if I was trying to push her into the mattress. She reciprocated my thrusts with equal force as she and I fucked each other like there was no tomorrow.
I don’t know how long we were at it but finally the lava started to flow. I came hard and my sperm shot into her with a lot of force. Her whole body shook violently as she convulsed and thrashed for a while until her spasms subsided. I held her in my arms, as my cock spurted into her periodically until every last drop had been exhausted; all the while, kissing and caressing her gently and passionately.
Once my penis softened out of her, I moved off of her and lay next to her. After taking a breather, I started to kiss her across the entire length of her body. I took her breasts into my mouth and sucked gently while rubbing my tongue all around her nipples. I sucked on her belly, her thighs, her back, her butt, even her feet. I then proceeded to suck on her pussy and lick it all around while taking my sweet time on her clit. She had her second wave of orgasms through my oral stimulation. By that time I was hard again and I mounted her for the second time and proceeded to make love to her with as much passion as I could muster.
We made love to each other until the wee hours of the night.
It was a beautiful union. It was as pure, respectful, and passionate as my mother had hoped for it to be and I could tell by looking into Cris’s face as she slept in my arms that she was very happy. She had this look of satisfaction on her face that showed through even while the rest of her body was recuperating from all that exertion. It was, as they say in the movies, the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When we woke up next day in each other’s arms, I could only see smiles a mile wide. When I saw her in those jeans of hers, knowing that I had been inside that body of hers, I felt even more attracted to her than ever before. I not only could imagine the potential in that ass and legs of hers but I had actually experienced it, and it was wonderful. She was wonderful. Actually, she is wonderful. We are still together and still experiencing the pure, respectful, and passionate feelings we have for each other.
Author’s Note: This is a revised version of my original story. A lot of my readers didn’t like the ending, so I’ve changed it to make them happy and I believe, this is a lot more satisfying ending than the other one.