Loading...At the age of 13, I was having wet dreams of kissing my best friend. I was far too naïve to know that girls could do anything other than kiss, and far too horny to cum from less than a kiss.
My best friend Marissa was shaping up to be very beautiful.
She was Armenian, with olive-toned skin, long, black hair, and big, green cat eyes. Her breasts were fast growing large, their sloping perfection drawing my eyes continually.
The dream I would have always involved us innocently lying together in some strange place in a bed, kissing without tongue (I didn’t know about french kissing, yet), topless. I would wake up orgasming.
My health teacher had explained that girls often felt like they were in love when they were young, but that it was usually a passing phase. I found comfort in this, and never told anyone about my dreams. Eventually, after many years, I guiltily masturbated to much raunchier fantasies about women, but never allowed myself to experiment.
Marissa and I grew somewhat distant over the years, attending different high schools one year apart. I had a few disasterous relationships with boys who rushed me into sex I wasn’t ready for, and who didn’t seem to really care about me. I was such a cutie, with thick auburn hair and an ass to die for, but I had grown shy and depressed from lonlieness. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with my life after school, and felt directionless.
I had a few friends who were going to attend a concert out of town. There was camping provided, and it sounded rather fun. I went, and took acid for the first time, and that’s when I found out that I needed to get the hell out of Los Angeles. I knew there was so much more to life than I had ever imagined, and L.A. Certainly didn’t suit me.
A short time later, I found myself pregnant by a guy I had already broken up with. It was awful, yet I had a feeling that it was time to make something work out right in my life, and I loved my baby right away. I moved north as far as my small savings could take me, and ended up in a beautiful, small city on the north coast of California, full of students and artists, and made my home there without regrets.
When I was 6 months along, I was walking to the organic food store when a voice called my name. I turned and saw Marissa! We rushed into each other’s arms with delight. As I leaned back in her arms to look at her lovely face, I felt a warm tingle between my legs. I was a little shocked and scared at my response, but nothing I told myself about it would make me stop getting wet for my friend.
We got dinner and went back to my house, which I shared with some students I’d met. After dinner, we talked and I found out she had been attending the college in town, majoring in Art History. She lay on her stomach, stretched like a satisfied cat on my bed where I sat next to her, then put her hand on my belly.
“May I snuggle with you?” she asked, looking into my face with a pretend-worried expression.
“Sure,” I replied, taking her into my arms. I felt her beautiful face nestle into my neck, and felt a warm glow begin in my heart.
We talked about the baby, then. After hearing how alone I was in the world, she confessed that she had had 2 abortions, and felt terribly guilty just then, looking at how courageous I was. She looked up at me with her eyes misting over. I rested my hand on her cheek and told her to please not feel that way, it just hadn’t been the right time for her.
“My so-called bravery could also be called stupidity, you know. What the hell am I thinking, doing this alone?”
Her face suddenly brightened.
“I have an idea!”
“Hm?” I asked, feeling my heart flip a bit at the excited look on her face. I loved the way she could change moods so fast!
“We could get a place together! I could be your labor coach and help with the baby!”
I looked at her doubtfully. Many people had offered to help already, but had slowly faded away without actually helping at all. I was pretty mistrustful.
“No, please, just hear me out, Sweetie.”
She got off the bed, got on her knees on the floor, and grabbed my hands.
“I would consider it a great honor,” she said quietly, her eyes calmly imploring,” if you would allow me to help you give birth and care for you.”
I was embarrassed and so moved. Tears formed in my eyes as I nodded and whispered, “Ok.”
During the birth, Marissa and I followed our loose plan to eat popsicles, walk around, and breathe a lot. We spent most of the beautifully sunny day walking by a stream, she holding me steady during contractions and telling me how brave and beautiful I was after each one, giving me hope that I would survive this. Eventually, I felt that my pains were too close for us to risk not calling the midwife and getting to the hospital.
Baby Max was born in only 8 hours, only one of which we spent at the hospital. He was fine and healthy and the most lovely creature in the whole world, I was certain! My life had changed forever, and I was terrified and giddy all at once, feeling a kinship with every woman who had ever gone through this. I held my sweet boy in my arms and watched him nurse as Marissa held me around my shoulders, marveling at his enthusiasm and beauty. We both cried like babies, but Max never did.
The next night, I was still in the hospital. I couldn’t sleep from worrying about my ability to take full responsibility for another being. Max already seemed to be wiser than me in a strange way, as if he looked at me and could see right through me. I felt as if I was a child raising a child, even though I had just turned 21.
Marissa, who slept on a chair next to my bed where I nursed my baby back to sleep, woke up and checked on me. Seeing my tears, she got on the bed with me and held me tight, letting me whimper and talk my way through it. She kissed my tears away, almost as if she enjoyed the taste, and for a moment, I was taken aback, my heart beginning to race.
She pulled back and looked into my eyes. My heart rushed and warmed and I felt suddenly so in love, I couldn’t make my head stop swimming! I was straight, I kept repeating to myself, but I’m in love! IS it hormones? God, I don’t know…
“You are strong and wise and brave,” she said almost sternly, “and you are NOT alone! I love you, and I love Max, so much more than I ever thought I could love a child. You’ll have to kick my ass to get rid of me.”
I heard her words and fell further in love, but I was so distracted by my emotions I was almost faint. My body shook, especially my legs, still week from giving birth, and my poor pussy ached with desire and pain all at once. I thought maybe I was going nuts!
She could see I was in some kind of overly emotional state, saw my legs shake, and squeezed me harder and pushing my head into her neck.
“Ok, love, no more talking tonight. I’ll push the button for the nurse and we’ll eat ourselves some ice cream and find something to giggle about. No arguing!”
“Ok,” I whispered.
The nurse came with the ice cream and smiled a bit uncertainly at the sight of two pretty girls holding each other on the bed. We may have been living in a progressive college town, but lesbianism was not accepted yet, not really anywhere, and I was embarrassed and scared. Marissa had me cheered up in no time, though, and we were able to leave the hospital the next afternoon, Max sporting his new purple jammies and matching hat, and me wearing a beautiful silk sundress Marissa had bought for me to wear home. We were bursting with pride as we left, saying goodbye to some parents we had been in birthing class with, who waved enthusiastically. Like it or not, we were a family; a motley one, but a good one, I thought.
As if echoing my thoughts, Marissa said, “Sweetie, we are the prettiest, craziest family any of these folks have ever seen, huh?” We laughed. It was hard to imagine how my heart could be so heavy and so light all at once.
6 weeks later, Marissa was making a run to the grocery store. I sat in bed shirtless, as had become my custom when at home, since everything I wore eventually got covered in breast milk anyway. I had just started nursing Max, who looked quite sleepy from a day spent learning to smile at both of us. It was a happy, lovely day for us all, and I could barely contain my joy as my best friend leaned over and planted a chaste, but firm kiss on my lips.
She pulled back a bit, looking at my mouth and at the baby, grinned at me, and with a small, “aw!” she kissed me again, this time lingering just a bit. My face flushed and my body heated up so fast, I thought I would pass out from the pleasure of her full, red lips pressed against my smaller, pink ones. I would have done anything in that moment to keep her lips on me, but it wasn’t to be, as she pulled away and said goodbye.
I fell asleep after putting Max down next to me. Marissa came to bed sometime later, curling her long, cat-like body around my small, sleep-heated back side. Marissa slept with Max and I every night now, and her nearness drove me crazy with lust and joy and frustration. I knew that I could talk to her about my feelings, but I wasn’t sure what on earth would come of it. What if she didn’t want to be around me any more? Where would that leave me and Max?
What if she loved me back, and we were together as a couple? The whole concept seemed alien to me; how would we be safe from homophobes? Would people openly hate us? Would Max be treated badly by other kids, or worse, parents and teachers?
I didn’t know what to do or where to go for advice. But, something needed to be done soon; I no longer trusted myself with her, as I knew that one day I would break down and kiss her like a lover does, come hell or high water!
About 6 months later, I sat in our window seat watching Max crawl about the living room floor happily babbling to himself, and occasionally getting up to fish tiny things out of his mouth.
“How he finds grains of sand in everything is beyond me,” I said sarcastically, knowing full well they came from Marissa’s flip flops, which were always tracking beach sand in. She loved the beach and went every chance she could, topless, no less. It was summer, and she had taken to only wearing shirts when absolutely necessary, driving me wild.
She grinned at me and winked, swiveling to finish cutting veggies for dinner. The sight of her brown skin in the light of the setting sun streaming in through the window, her breast swinging about with her movement had me swooning. I fanned myself with my book, looking away.
After putting the baby down on a mat asleep after dinner, she set up some candles in the darkening room. We sat on the floor, full and satisfied, and chatted about nothing important.
“I met a lesbian today,” she said.
“Wah?” I asked, “How did you know she was a lesbian?”
“You know how Linda lives in that house with 4 women? Well, this woman, her name was Gloria, came up and said hi to me, and I think she assumed I was one too!”
“Oh,” I said, looking down and frowning, “Why?”
“Cause we live together. She said she thought our family was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.”
Marissa nonchalantly sucked some chocolate pudding off of her long, slender finger, seemingly unworried. There was a lesbian in town? I thought. How may of them are there? I wonder if I could talk to one of them?
The next day, we went on a trip to visit friends in Berkeley. We had a truck with a shell on the back that was a sort-of rolling bedroom, full of anything we might need for the baby. We were determined to raise him to enjoy traveling, and frequently took short trips to visit friends and family, or to attend interesting festivals outdoors.
When we arrived at our destination, a large, two story house surrounded by delicious smelling eukalyptus trees, our friend Will rushed to greet us. I could tell he was terribly attracted to Marissa, and she to him, and I knew that I would likely be spending the night with just me and Max in the truck tonight, as we had already discussed the fact that she badly needed to have sex. Will was a beautiful man, tall and handsome and slim and strong, a great dancer and acrobat, with a sweet disposition. His long, blonde hair was soft and warm smelling. I couldn’t blame my friend one bit for wanting him, and thanked heaven I could still feel attraction to men as he hugged me close.
That night was a full moon, and I had trouble sleeping alone. I missed my girl, but not enough to cry over it, since I loved her enough to want her to be experiencing pleasure. To my surprise, the door to the truck opened an hour later!
She climbed in and got under the covers, holding me so tight I couldn’t breathe, putting her hand between my breast as she spooned around me, just as always. This time, though, she was crying.
Alarmed, I turned in her arms and held her head to my chest, asking, “what’s wrong, Sweetie?”
She borrowed into me, and I could feel her warm tears trickling to my breast.
“Oh, Sweetheart, tell me!”
I tilted her face up and held it with enough force to keep her from looking away. She was obviously embarrassed about something, and it worried me, since it was so unlike her to care what anyone thought. Fresh tears spilled form her eyes, and she said,
“I couldn’t sleep with him. I lay there, wishing he had b-b-breasts!” With that revelation, she buried her head again, and whispered, “Please don’t hate me, I would die if you hated me!”
“I’ll never, ever hate you. You and Max are my world.”
“Oh, God, you and Max are mine, too!” she exclaimed, sobbing, “But I love women, all of a sudden! And I don’t want you to be afraid of me! But, I can’t help it, I want them all the time!”
I just held her and rocked, not knowing what to say except to reassure her that I wouldn’t abandon her. I couldn’t bring myself to confess to her yet. Not yet. But when we got home, I was going to find that lesbian house and ask them for advice, first thing!
I made an excuse to visit Linda at her house the day after we got back. I sat with Linda in her living room, the baby asleep in a sling around my breast.
“What’s wrong?” my blonde dreadlocked friend asked after seeing me fretting and fidgeting with my teacup.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was doing this for my family, such as it was.
“I am in love with Marissa.”
Oh god, it was out! I felt such relief!
“Is that bad?” Linda asked, genuinely curious as to why I would think it was wrong. This put me right at ease; at least somewhere in the world, someone thought loving women was normal.
“Wait, she doesn’t know?” Linda asked. I shook my head.
“I’m so scared. What if something bad happens?”
She understood what I mean immediately. She patted my hand soothingly.
“Why do you think we all live together? It’s as much for protection as comraderie”
“You’re a lesbian, too?” I asked, surprised.
“No, I’m bi.”
“What’s that?”
“Are you serious? You don’t know? Oh, goodness, girl. Where were you raised? It’s when women can love both sexes. It’s really not that big a deal!”
I was so embarrassed. I had heard the word a few times, but wasn’t sure what it meant. I felt very uncool. I also felt oddly ripped off. Why had no one ever talked to me about these things? Why had my mother raised me to be so naïve, yet always assuming I was somehow guilty of something dirty? I shook my head angrily.
“I swear, I am NOT raising my son to be as ignorant as my stupid parents!” I exclaimed.
Linda chuckled.
“Good! Now, what are we going to do about you? How do you think she feels about you? Because, let me tell you, I have never seen a mere ‘friend’ devoting her entire existence to another ‘friend’ the way I’ve seen you girl do. If she isn’t in love with you, I’ll eat my hat!”
“God, I don’t know. She is…attracted to women, a lot, and was really messed up over it a few days ago. Please don’t tell anyone I said that! She was so upset that I would hate her!”
“No, I won’t tell anyone! But, hey, you have to know that most of the town already thinks you’re in love. You do, don’t you?”
I must have looked a sight! I had never heard anyone talk to anyone in town about lesbians, let alone considered how it might look! I was red with embarrassment.
“Do they hate us?” I asked.
“God, no!” said Linda, waving her hand dismissively, “If anything, everyone seems to get a bit of a thrill from it, especially the men; they think you guys are sexy.” She rolled her eyes, “Men are pigs.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to do,” I was dazed, and needed a moment to think and breathe.
We walked out to her garden and talked about love, what it isn’t, what it might be. She turned to me at one point and begged me to take a chance, saying she would stick by us, no matter what happened. This made me feel a little less nervous, and I began to hope.
“Okay. So. What if she doesn’t want me?” I asked.
“I hardly think that’s going to happen, but let’s just pretend for a moment. What do you think you might say to her to get her to understand that it’s alright for her to not want you back?”
This gave me food for thought, and also gave me a plan. I had already mostly worked out every other fear I had about telling her how I felt, and I somehow knew that Marissa would never abandon me, no matter how weird things might get when they were out in the open.
I picked a borage flower and ate it, thinking about dinner that night, and wanting to pick up some supplies. I left Linda with grateful hugs and went to the grocery store to prepare.
My heart sang as I finished making dinner, “My love! Come home!”
And she did, rushing in with a bouquet of wildflowers in her hand, her usual grubby cutoffs leaking sand on the floor, her warm skin brightened by another afternoon in the sun.
“What’s this?” she asked, seeing that I had made dinner already. I leaned up to her cheek and kissed it, taking the flowers and filling my head with her gorgeous scent of beach combined with myrrh. I busied myself putting the flowers away in a mason jar; she knew I loved purple, and all the flowers were purple.
She looked around at the hardwood floor spread with our favorite table cloth, candles ready to be lit, plates and cutlery arranged, a Goddess statue surround by flowers in the center. She looked at me with a curious, happy smile.
“The baby is with Linda tonight. I pumped some milk for him. I thought it was about time for us to just be grown-ups for a while. With any luck, he’ll stay sleep for a while.”
Marissa grabbed me and hugged me tight, almost upsetting the plate of food I had in my hand. I laughed with joy.
We ate salmon and wild rice and chocolate souffle’ with gusto. Who knew how much time we had left before the baby might need to come home? I was nervous and excited and almost…sad at the thought of our old life about to change in a way I couldn’t predict. We had been happy here, far happier than any time I could ever remember being.
I had to start; it was now or never.
“Let’s do a hot tub,” I suggested.
“Ooh, yeah!” she agreed, and immediately stood and took her clothes off. God, I loved it when she did that! She was so unembarrassed about her body!
We got into the tub, and I watched her lovely tits float in front of her, hoping my milky c-cups would be tempting enough for someone who liked breasts. I looked down at mine, watching droplets of milk slowly mingle into the water.
“Are you inspecting them?” she asked, smiling.
“Heh, no,” I said, “but the milk drips into the water and makes this kind-of smokey pattern before dissipating; it’s kinda cool.”
I felt the water slosh toward me as she surprisingly moved right up next to me. This, of course, caused the milk drops to disappear, and I laughed at her.
“Ok, I’ll hold still,” she said in a rather hushed voice. I felt a little thrill of hope as she waited patiently, staring at my nipples, waiting for the milk to drip. The awareness of her gaze made my breasts feel fuller, and I soon had more milk coming out than I expected.
Marissa swallowed. She swallowed! my head sang, that has to mean something! Oh, she’s licking her lips! Oh, Goddess!
I lifted the breast closest to her and said, “Do you want to taste it? I mean, I know you’ve tried it once or twice, but not straight from me. Do you want to try?”
I held my breast, nervously watching her face. She blushed, looked at me with a mix of fear and…what is that? Lust? Could it be?
She simply nodded and leaned down to tentatively lick my nipple. She slurped the milk a bit, looked nervously at me, then did it again. I almost closed my eyes as a wave of ecstasy rushed through me, but knew I had to do this right. I didn’t just want my Sweetheart and I to rush into something; it was Love, and I was planning to tell her everything.
I reached out to her soft cheek and stroked it. I led her face near mine and looked searchingly into her green eyes with my brown.
” You do know I love you, right?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she breathed.
“I want to talk to you about something, and I need you to keep being my friend afterward.”
“Of course!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around me, unwittingly pressing her sweet breast against my leaking one, “You are my family, I’m not leaving you! What will I have to do to convince you?” she added, looking seriously into my eyes.
I smiled reassuringly.
We put on towels and reclined on cushions, snuggled together tightly. I could feel myself aroused and comforted all at once, and I struggled to keep from pressing my pussy furtively against her long thigh. I was hyper aware of our near nakedness in a way I had never been before, my skin tingling and burning. Suddenly, I could feel her respond to our closeness. I didn’t know how I could feel it; perhaps it was this new awareness in my skin, but I knew she felt something for me besides sisterly love.
My heart sang and flipped about with joy and apprehension. What if I was terrible? What if I lost my nerve at the last moment? What if sex with a woman wasn’t quite suited to me? What if one of us met a man and fell in love?
“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Tell me, you’re worrying me.”
I struggled with how to start. A million voices filled my head with words. I concentrated on her eyes in the candle light. My hand shook as I placed it on her cheek, and I understood that this was the first time I had ever touched her with pure desire. It gave me courage.
“I…,” I stared at her face, her lips parted, her perfect eyes, her sweet nose, her rounded cheekbones.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Her eyes widened in surprise. I could see her wondering if she was hearing right.
“Go on,” she urged, lifting her head to see me more clearly, her hand supporting it.
“I love you so much!” Tears formed in my eyes, but I couldn’t stop now!
“I need you to know, it’s not just..friendship anymore. Maybe it never really was, I don’t know. I just know that I love you and I think about kissing you all the time, and I’ve been terrified of losing you!”
I covered my eyes with my hand for a moment. That was not the way I meant to say it, I was going to seduce her, convince her, and here I was, acting like a child!
She took my hand away from my face gently, and put it back on her cheek. She put her arm further around me and leaned over me, forcing me to look at her. She had the beginning of tears in her eyes, as well, as she leaned in a bit closer.
“I love you too,” she said quietly, “I’m so fucking in love with you, I feel like my heart’s going to burst into flame sometimes.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as she bent her head slowly toward mine. Our lips touched, and she slid hers along mine. The sensation was so erotic, and my feelings were so turbulent. Relief, fear, lust, burning love all mixed together made me want to smother her mouth with mine, yet I wanted this moment to last forever. How long, I wondered, could we keep from tearing at each other in a frenzy? God, why did I wait so long?
Words started puring out of us between increasingly eager kisses:
She: “I didn’t know! I thought it was just me! You seemed so frightened of lesbians!”
Me: “I would have told you, but I thought Max and I might lose you, and I couldn’t live without you!”
She: “I didn’t know how long I could stand not touching you; you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”
Me: “God, you’re so perfect! What are we going to do about…”
She covered my lips with hers again, silencing me.
“We’ll worry about that later,” she said in a voice tinged with smokey lust, “Right now-this-this is just for us. This is our time. Let’s not let some closed-minded assholes get in the way of something so… sacred”
We stared at each other, and a stillness came over us, like time had stopped for a second. I knew, suddenly, that this was one of those magic moments I would never forget; it would be tattooed on my soul.
The next kiss was… “holy”, was the only word I had to describe it. I felt ribbons of love, desire, destiny, union slipping into me, wrapping themselves into every cell of my body, claiming and owning me. The beauty of it brought fresh tears to my eyes, which my Love kissed and drank before dipping back into my mouth. She tasted and smelled of honey and the ocean and myrrh.
Her hand touched my throat, and slightly gripped. I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her thigh between mine moved higher, pressing slowly up into my pussy. Hot bolts shot though me and I gasped. I realized that I had never been so turned on, and, for a second, I almost worried if I could stand it all, if there was some limit to how much a body could take. But, when I felt her damp pussy against my thigh, I stopped worrying about anything.
She pulled our towels off, almost angrily, then slowed her movements again, coming to rest almost all the way on top of me. We began to move together slowly, looking deeply into each other’s eyes, our breath matching, our breasts touching. I wanted to feel our pussies together so badly! Before I could try to make that happen, her lips came down on my breast, which I realized had been leaking, and she hungrily sucked my nipple into her mouth.
I cried out a little as I felt my milk come down more, and pressed her head deeper into me, arching my back to get more of my tit inside her. She groaned and suckled rhythmically, driving me wild. She arched her back up then, giving me a beautiful view of her hips rising behind her head. Her fingers lightly brushed my hot, damp pussy, spreading my wetness around without putting much pressure. I tried to raise up a bit to get more contact, but her hand moved away.
She switched breasts and suckled more. I cried out louder now, my body arching and undulating. I was so close to losing control of movements; I wanted to simultaneously scratch and bite like a wild animal, and collapse and surrender. I wondered crazily how much time had passed; could it really only have been minutes?
She leaned up, brought one of her legs under mine and used it to lift my thigh. Suddenly, I knew what she was trying to do; get us both slick and wet before bringing our pussies in contact. I also knew that, with anyone else in the world, this simple contact would not have satisfied me nearly enough. But, with my Love, it would be more than enough.
We rocked together, looking at each other, watching out breasts sway, watching our expressions shift from adoration to gratitude to lust and back around again. The sight of this perfect woman, my Darling, looking at me as if the world began and ended with me was indescribably wondrous! We moaned and whimpered and panted together, and she struggled to get words out…
“I fucking love you!” she whispered fiercely, “I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife, I want to make love to you every fucking day!”
We shoved together more forcefully now, her words spurring us. I felt…owned by her as I joyfully ground my pussy against her.
“Yes!” I cried out, “I’m yours! You’re my life!”
Then it began, the final descent into what I knew would one of the most defining moments of my existence; we started to cum together.
“I love you, oh god, I do!” I cried out desperately as I started to cum.
“I love you, I love you, I love yooooou!” she uttered again and again, until my whole body, soul, heart, mind exploded with exquisite ecstasy.
She fell on me, her head on my chest, her sweat and tears mingling with my milk, which had streamed out as I came. We both cried and rocked in each other’s arms overwhelmed with love and gratitude. We eventually ended up locked together with her face against my breast, her mouth idly sucking on my nipple.
The phone rang. I knew I had to answer, that it was probably Linda about the baby. Luckily, we had brought the phone close to us, so I didn’t have to untangle too much.
“Ohhh,” Linda said quietly after I panted a “hello” into the phone, “You sound good! But, Maxie wants his mommies now. I’ll be there in a few minutes, sweetie.”
I sighed heavily, starting to move, but Marissa stopped me and gripped tighter.
“No. We’re not getting up unless we have to. I don’t care if she sees us like this. Here…”
She pinned my wrists with one of her hands and grabbed a blanket with the other, pulling it over us, then snuggled back into my embrace. I fought off embarrassment, telling myself that Linda wouldn’t care what she saw, and would even be happy for us, and the baby would just be happy to have us close to him again. His Mommies.
Mommies…the word was music to my ears, yet sparked some distant fear of Max being in school and trying to describe what it meant to kids and teachers. I shuddered and decided to leave that thought for later, but the fear did linger some.
I realized she was still suckling at me, and laughingly told her to save some for the baby. With a pout, she leaned up and kissed me one last time before the door softly opened to Linda with our sleeping boy in her arms.
We “ohhhed” quietly as she placed him between us. He woke enough to look around, saw my nipple pointing right at him, and settled into suckling himself to sleep again. We all chuckled a bit, looking at him with the kind of adoration a beautiful baby deserves. Linda leaned down and kissed us both on the cheek, then quietly slipped out the door, saying softly,
“Good night, beautiful family!”
We eventually decided to move into bed, and got ourselves settled in. Max was asleep enough now to be in his own little bed next to ours, but Marissa spooned around me as we stared down at him.
“I hope it’s okay for me to say this, my Love, but Max feels…more mine, now.”
I turned to look at her, smoothing my hands through her soft hair, letting her know I was listening.
“I don’t mean that possessively..”
“Oh, I know!” I said reassuringly.
“It’s just…I feel even more like we’re a family now, like he’s our baby, he belongs with us.”
I smiled with genuine joy filling my heart.
“My Sweetheart, my darling Love, if anyone has earned the right to be a parent, it’s you!” I said, stroking her cheek. She kissed me hard and squeezed me tightly.
“When did you know for sure, Love?” I asked her.
“I already knew I felt turned on by your beautiful body back when we were just kids. And I felt like, once we were here together when you were pregnant, we were bonded in a way I’d never felt with another person before, but I didn’t want you to know how sexy you looked. But, I didn’t know how bonded we were until the day Max was born. You got into the position you wanted and got ready to push, looked deep into my eyes, and I swear I saw the whole universe being born right there inside you! I saw darkness and stars and galaxies! When the baby slipped out and you turned over to hold him, and we both fell madly in love with him, that was the moment I knew…”
I kissed her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“There was this second when you were holding him, the nurses and midwife were done checking you and the afterbirth was done with, and they left us alone. Remember?”
I nodded and grinned.
“I saw all this glowing golden light surround us, watched Maxie get pinker as he breathed and nursed, and I held you around your back, and I felt like a proud dad must feel at that moment, like the world couldn’t be more miraculously perfect.”
Brushing tears out of my eyes, I said, “Even all bloody and fat, you still fell for me?”
She chuckled at me, and tickled me a bit, making me squeal.
“YOU, my sweet, have never been fat, and even if you weighed 200 pounds, you would still be the sexiest creature I’ve ever laid eyes on!”
“”Ha!” I laughed, “Go look in the mirror sometime! The stares you get walking anywhere make me afraid someone’s just going to walk up and kidnap out of desperation! When have you not had some guy falling at your feet?”
“No guy is getting near me as long as you’re in front of me,” she held me down possessively, my spine thrilling. I felt so feminine when she pinned me!
“I can’t fucking see anyone but you when you’re around me!” she went on, “I’m pathetic! God, there are times when I watch you walking with the baby in his sling, and I think my heart will burn away with love.”
I leaned up and pressed her mouth into mine. It was so strange kissing a girl, and so not strange, all at once. I told her so, and she said,
“Yeah, I know what you mean. You know I have loved kissing guys, but this is so different, yet more similar than I thought it would be, ya know?”
I nodded enthusiastically.
“There were moments,” she went on, her voice and face full of wonder, “where I almost forgot my gender, where I was a man and a woman all at once. I wanted to posses you, take you.”
“You did,” I said, wrapping my arms around her neck, “you do.”
She looked at me eyes, and kissed me deeply, reawakening my body so fast, I was breathless when she pulled back.
“Sweetie,” she whispered, then broke into a yawn, “We need to sleep. Maxie will get us up soon.”
I sighed and snuggled into her neck, smelling her scent combined with my own.
“You’re right. I’m exhausted.”
We burrowed in, locking our limbs as tight as we could.
“I love you so,” I whispered.
“I love you, Laura.”
Our hands caressed each other’s breasts and necks until sleep overtook us.