“Well, we finally have your assignment, Kaiden,” said Aliza.
I tried not to betray my excitement. “Where will I be going?”
“Drumroll, please….you’re headed for Sydney!”
I was surprised and thrilled. Sydney! Never had I, an LA boy and an orphan to boot, dreamt I’d get assigned so far away from home. I was happy to be out of LA and even happier to be out of the States.
After two weeks’ training each in Miami, Montreal, and four weeks in London, respectively, I was thrilled to finally be getting my assignment.
“Thanks, Aliza. You couldn’t have given me better news. Sidney, that’s awesome!”
“Your flight leaves in three hours. Say goodbye to everyone, pack up your stuff, and off you go.”
“Thanks again.” I shook hands with her. “No, really, thanks for everything, thanks for all the help.”
She beamed. “Not a problem.”
I stopped by and said goodbye to Gerard, my temporary partner while I had been in London, and then stopped by the Director’s office. After making my rounds, I hailed a cab outside the building to my hotel. I was back at the airport with plenty of time, and got onto what was to be one of the longest flights of my life. By the end of the 28 hr flight, I was thoroughly worn out.
I got off the plane at Sidney, finally, I hadn’t been told if anyone was going to meet me or not, but I didn’t worry. Having been through three offices, I knew someone would call me or make arrangements. I got my baggage and moved to the front of the terminal. And indeed, as I walked through the terminal I saw a man with a sign held up saying “Kaiden Alenko.” I made my way over to him.
“Agent Alenko?” he said as I approached. I nodded.
“I’m Ted, the driver. I’m here to take you to the office. Is this all of your stuff?”
“That’s it.” Truthfully I didn’t have much. I had spent my trainee money mostly on suits. I had started out very poor and started work with only two suits, but since then I had increased my inventory somewhat. I also owned one suit that was of substantially higher quality than the rest; that was the one I was wearing.
Together we loaded my two bags into the car, and I got into the passenger seat (the other side! I had gotten used to it in London but it still always took me a moment of mental checking. Ted drove, of course.
“So, welcome to Sidney. Ever been here before?”
I shook my head. “Hell, no. Until two months ago I’d never even been out of the States.”
“Sidney’s great, you’ll love it.” And he proceeded to actually be a pretty good tour guide, telling me of the sights of Sidney as we drove through.
The office was downtown and it was a very impressive, ultra-modern building. We pulled up into the garage.
“You can just leave your bags here, Agent Alenko. I’ll get them to your hotel, you can get them there.”
“Why, thank you, Ted.”
“Just take the elevator up to the 8th floor. They know you’re coming.” I nodded, and did so, just carrying my laptop case with me.
The elevator opened on the 8th floor to a large square-ish area. In the center were cubicles and around the sides were rows of smaller offices, big enough each to put two people comfortably in. I assumed this was where the agents sat, and as I turned out, I was right.
“Hi!” I heard, and turned to see a rather attractive young woman, around my age, greeting me. “I’m Rebecca, one of the admins here. You must be Agent Alenko.”
I smiled. “Please, it’s Kaiden.”
“All right, Kaiden. Welcome to Sidney! Boss wants to meet with you right away. I’ll take that and put it in your office.” She took my laptop case and set it beside her cube. “Come this way.”
She walked me down the hall to one of the corner offices, which, as it turned out, were much larger than the others. Rebecca knocked on the door.
“Come in,” said a rather cultured English voice from inside.
Rebecca opened the door. “Sir? Kaiden Alenko is here. From London?”
“Ah, right on time. Escort him in, Rebecca.”
She smiled at me. “When you’re done, just come out and see me, OK?”
“Sure, and thanks.”
I went inside and shut the door behind me. I turned to see a large, very well-dressed man standing up behind a desk. He was probably twice my age, or just a little short of it.
“Kaiden!” he said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Charles McMasters, the Director of the Sidney office.”
“Nice to meet you, sir.”
“Have a seat, Kaiden.”
“Thank you, sir.” And I sat down.
“Now, Kaiden. I’ve been reviewing some of your work in your training. You come highly recommended. And you also did very well in your schoolwork. I’m glad to have you here in Sidney.”
“Thank you sir. I’m thrilled to be here.”
“Let me tell you a little bit about how I run my office, Kaiden.” And for the next twenty minutes or so, he did so, and I listened closely. If this was to by my home for a few years, I needed to learn.
Finally he wound to the end. “Lastly, Kaiden, I’m going to put you with Matt, one of our senior agents here. Matt has been with the company about fifteen years, but he has only recently transferred to Sidney. However, he’s a good agent and will be able to teach you a lot.”
“Sounds great, sir.”
“Go on and get to work — Rebecca will take you to meet Matt.”
“Will do, Mr. McMasters.”
He grinned. “Oh, and Kaiden? It’s Charles.”
“Thank you, Charles.”
I headed out and was instantly intercepted by Rebecca. “This way, Kaiden.”
Following her down the hall, I was taken to one of the side offices. Currently it was empty, but there were signs that the other desk was occupied. The chair was pushed back, and there was a half-empty coffee cup on the desk, as well as a notepad with some scribbles on it.
“This is Matt’s office. You’ll be moving into here. Make yourself comfortable. Matt should be back soon.”
“Thanks, Rebecca.” I took my seat, setting down my laptop. I turned on the PC, and when it booted up, signed on to my account. Checking my e-mail, I found my friends in London had sent me a e-mail. I responded to them.
“Hello, Kaiden,” I heard from the doorway. It was an American voice, very dry and laid-back. I turned and stood to see my new partner.
Matthew was probably in his late thirties, well-dressed, but with a sort of casual air about him, as if he had just tossed his clothes on. He had somewhat weary dark eyes and dark hair but an honest smile.
“Hi. You must be Matt,” I said, extending my hand to shake. He took it and shook it firmly.
“Welcome aboard. Let’s get right to work.”
THREE MONTHS LATER
Matt and I were flying home on the plane together, tired from our weekend of escort duty. Truthfully it had been rather fun, since the lady we were escorting and her associate cared little for propriety and refused to let us sit and simply guard them. Instead, we were expected to dance with them, and party with them, eat meals with them, etc. But of course that was partly what had made us so tired.
Carmella, the lady’s assistant and secretary, had taken a very strong liking to me, and Aria, the lady, was clearly head over heels in love with Matt. They had known each other for a long time. Matt wasn’t so easily swayed, though, and I was very much aware that I was on the job and my performance was being evaluated. So as strong as Carmella had come onto me, and as much as I had wanted it, I resisted.
Now we both sat, in our own thoughts. Matt was the first to break the silence; he must have been thinking of the same thing.
“I’m really surprised you didn’t give in to Carmella.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, well, I was tempted.”
“So why didn’t you?”
I glanced at him. “We were working. Besides, you’re my partner, but I’m still new and I know you’re also supposed to give a report on me to the Director. I don’t need the phrase ‘can’t keep his dick in his pants’ on my permanent file.”
He laughed, but didn’t say anything.
“I notice you’re not denying it. Besides, what about you? I could have sworn Aria was going to drag you into bed. What is up with you two anyway?”
He shrugged. “She and I go way back.”
“I’m surprised you two aren’t an item.”
“Not really sure about it — she’s a great girl and all but…”
“I get it. Never mind.”
Matt had been married before and it had ended in a bitter divorce, I knew. Our jobs took most of our time, and outside relationships rarely worked for long. I didn’t know much about her but I knew he’d grown up with her, sort of childhood sweethearts. They had been married five years and he’d now been divorced for five years and from what I heard the divorce had been beyond acrimonious. I guessed this was a big part of why he didn’t succumb to Aria — caution and wariness.
“What about you?” he said. “I don’t exactly see you getting into any relationships. Hell, I don’t even see you chasing women.”
I hesitated before answering. Matt and I were still getting to know each other — we’d only been working together three months, though those three months had done a lot to cement our friendship already — but I instinctively took a long, long time to trust anyone.
“I don’t know. I mean, I chased, and caught my share of girls in college, but I just don’t seem to have the time or the inclination these days.”
“Really?” he said with raised eyebrow.
“Yes, really. Not everyone is in life for the chicks, you know.”
He rolled his eyes. “Not what I meant.”
“I know, I was just kidding.” I paused. “If I tell you the truth…well, it’s just too much trouble, honestly, to maintain any kind of a relationship.”
“Well, you maintain a relationship with me. Granted, it’s a different kind of relationship, but still. And your coworkers…?”
“That’s different.” I grinned. “Even the boss is lower-maintenance than most women.”
“True!” he laughed. “I guess I can see your point.”
“I’m not really one for the casual sex, I guess.”
“What about a long-term relationship?”
I shrugged. “What’s that? Never had one. Never felt inclined to try.”
“Honestly, maybe you just haven’t found the right person.”
I shrugged. “Possibly. Oh, look, we’re arriving.”
The plane landed on the tarmac at Sydney. We gathered our one bag each, and our suit hangers, and headed out into the bright sun of Australia. It’d been nice to visit Tokyo for a day or two, but it was nicer to be back home.
“What are you doing for dinner?” I asked.
“Don’t know, probably take-out. You?”
“Want to go to Tattersall’s?” Tattersall’s was my favorite club, and we often went there late at night — they were open day and night, 24/7.
“Sure. Let me go home and get changed, and I’ll meet you there — say around 10 PM?”
It was shortly after 8 now, and I nodded. “Of course.”
I also headed home. I had put a down payment on a home on the beach, way beyond my means, but I rarely spent money on anything else and was determined to live in the manner I liked. I had faith in my youth — I was only twenty-five — and my ability to work for a good long time and make the money I needed.
As I showered and unpacked my bags, I reflected on what Matt had said about not finding the right person. He was closer to the right track than he thought. It wasn’t that I hadn’t found the right person so much, though, as that I wouldn’t let them find me. I was so careful with even the least of my emotions that girls looking for more than sex were turned off — they only found a cold and distant man, not willing to give anything of myself. And truth be told, I liked it that way.
I had grown up an orphan on the streets of LA. I had lived in an orphanage, and a fairly good one as they go, most of my life, but the experiences of my youth had indelibly stamped my soul and I really never trusted anyone but one person, a local pastor who had been very kind to me, the way pastors are really supposed to be. It was he who had helped me with my scholarship and college loan applications, and it was because of him I had been able to qualify for the position I was currently in — an international government investigator. I, and Matt, worked for a coalition of governments. More than that is unimportant for this story, but my grades had been such that I was aggressively recruited, and I had never thought of going anywhere else.
The first person I had begun to put my faith in had been Matt, and that was difficult for me even though I knew it was necessary. I knew one needed to trust their partner, and moreover, I really wanted to. So, Matt and I had become close friends, as close of friends as I could have ever hoped for. Sometimes I was afraid of him finding out how much he had come to mean to me. He was my first real friend, and that at age 25, as corny as that sounded.
All that went through my head as I changed into slacks and a loose button-down shirt. Tattersall’s was not a place where you ever went dressed casually in jeans, and I rather liked that. It was all part of my campaign to make myself over into a gentleman. I wanted people to look at me and never ever be able to see where I came from.
I got back in the Mureno and drove out to Tattersall’s. It was only a ten-minute drive at this late hour, and arrived around 9:30 or so.
Going inside, I waved to the bartender. “Hey, Jimmy, how’s it going?”
“Good to see you, Kaiden.” He waved back. Many was the late night I had spent here, nursing a glass of wine and working on learning a new language (my degree was in linguistics, and I always tried to improve) or even just sitting and watching the park out the window.
I took my customary seat by the window. When the single waitress came over, I smiled at her. “Hi, Carol. How are you tonight?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Mr. Alenko. Yourself?”
“Very well, thank you.”
“What can I get you?”
“I’ll take a glass of the burgundy, but I’ve got a friend coming, so I’ll hold off on the order for now, all right, Carol?”
“Sounds good, Mr. Alenko. Just signal when you’re ready.”
I sat back, relaxing, looking out the window. The pianist was playing a soft, moody tune, as was the norm here, and I began to feel Tattersall’s working its magic on me. I came here because it felt more like home than any place, ever, in my entire life. When I came here, I dropped my guard, and became more like myself, the true me, that I rarely let show. And funny enough, I didn’t mind, even afterward, that I had done so.
Carol brought back my wine and I swirled it lazily in the glass. I had been stationed in London for a week before I came here, and my temporary partner there, Gerard, had taught me a bit about fine wines and how to savor them. I wasn’t anywhere near his level of knowledge, but I rarely drank beer, and I found wine to be much more palatable.
I waited around twenty minutes before Matt came striding in. My seat had a commanding view of the whole downstairs floor of Tattersall’s, and I saw him before he saw me. I had a chance to get a good look at him.
He was dressed in a sportscoat and casual slacks, showered and cleaned and freshly shaved even. He was a handsome guy, and I reflected that Aria probably would have preferred to spend the evening with him tonight. Oh well.
Matt was about eleven years older than me, and had been with the Agency for fifteen years. He had started right out of a four-year college, as opposed to me, who had done some graduate work and obtained a master’s degree before I joined. On his face I could sometimes see the years reflected. I had guessed about his ex-wife before anyone had ever told me. He’d been shocked, and he’d laughed wryly when I told him it was more or less stamped on his face. I was good at reading faces, perhaps from schooling mine so often.
He saw me, and raised a hand in greeting. I gave a small gesture to Carol, who nodded, and began making preparations to come to us.
Matt sat down in front of me.
“Hey, man, hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”
I shook my head. “No big deal, don’t worry about it.”
He rolled his eyes. “Aria called. She wanted to make sure I got back in all right.”
“Man, she really has a thing for you, huh?”
“Well, I guess you’re lucky.”
“What do you mean, you guess?” Just then, Carol came over, and we placed our dinner orders.
“I’ll just take the house special, whatever it is, sweetheart,” I smiled. She returned the smile with one of her own. “As you wish, Mr. Alenko. Mr. Paxton?”
“Hmm. I think I’ll try the shrimp and sirloin combo, Carol. Make the steak medium.”
“Sure thing — I’ll let Jimmy know, gentlemen.” She whisked away and was back with Matt’s drink and my refill. She wrote nothing down, never did, and in three months of my coming here, had never made a mistake in my presence.
“So.” Matt sat back. “You were about to explain your comment.”
“Which comment was that?”
“The ‘I guess you’re lucky’ comment.”
I mused. “Well, please don’t take it the wrong way. Aria is a lovely, beautiful girl, and any man would be happy to have her. It’s just that…”
“You’re not any man.”
“Yeah, something like that. Not that she’s pursuing me anyway! But you know, I kind of pick on you to give in and date her, but honestly, I kind of sympathize with you, too. If a woman chased me that aggressively, I’d run for the hills.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that about you.”
I shrugged. “I have a problem with…intimacy.”
“Really?! No way!” He pretended to be shocked and I rolled my eyes at him.
The food came then, and we sat and ate and talked for other things for a few minutes. Afterward, I suggested some pool. On the second floor Tattersall’s had a sort of lounge, with pool tables and a reading area. We headed up. I waved to Jimmy — he knew I always paid on the way out, and besides, he had my credit card on file. The few times I walked out without paying, I had left instructions for him to charge it and to always take a 20% tip. Tattersall’s was well worth it.
Upstairs we easily found an empty table. That was another thing about Tattersall’s – it was never crowded. It was one of those places you wondered how it stayed in business.
Matt was a bit of a pool shark, and the very first time we had ever played, he had taken me for twenty bucks. Now I refused to bet against him, but I still played against him as often as I could. I was competitive and ambitious to a fault, and while I endeavored not to be a sore loser, I still wanted to win.
I laughed at some joke or other that he said, and he looked at me funny. “What?” I said.
“Come on, tell me what. Don’t act like a woman.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “Just…you act so differently here. I mean, you’re laughing. You never laugh at work. Here…you’re almost normal.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“No, I mean it. You’re relaxed. And laid-back.”
I sighed. “I know. I like it here a lot. If they had an apartment, I might almost consider moving in, except I like my house so much.”
He smiled. “I might not mind. You’re way more likable here.”
He beat me in the game of pool, as he always did. I wasn’t hoping to beat him yet, but improve to the point where I had a hope of it.
“Well, we can go in late tomorrow. I guess we should call it a night.”
He considered. “I’m not ready to yet. How about a beer, or sorry, something like it? Come on over to my condo.”
“Sure, I’d love that. I’ll follow you home.”
I stopped by Jimmy on the way and paid my debt, and, waving goodbye to Carol, headed out. I followed Matt to his house. On the way I stopped and picked up a case of Sam Adams — I knew that’s what he liked, and it was palatable to me, too.
I pulled up at his condo. I had been here once or twice before, though not often. Once a suspect had broken into my house and come after me — I had dealt with him, but he had smashed two windows and I crashed at his house on the couch for the night, since the alarm system was useless until the company repaired it the next day. Another time was much less dramatic – we had stopped by briefly after a case.
Getting out of the car, I locked it and went up to his place, carrying the case. I knocked on the door and after a minute, he opened it. He glanced down at my hand. “Oh, you didn’t have to.”
“Don’t sweat it — just use it to replace what I drink tonight.”
He laughed. “Like you ever drink a lot. Come in, make yourself comfortable.” He took the case from my hands and took it into the kitchen, while I continued on into the living room.
I took a seat, and after a minute, he came out and joined me. He sat uncommonly close to me on the couch. I noticed, but didn’t think anything of it.
Sighing, he leaned back on the couch. “What a weekend.”
“Seriously. Those girls were almost more work than a real suspect.”
He turned at that, and looked me dead in the eye. “So tell the truth. Why didn’t you sleep with Carmella? She practically threw herself at you.”
I smiled sheepishly. “Not that I didn’t want to, Matt. But all I could think about was you coming back from your dinner date with Aria and seeing the still relatively new agent, instead of working, having sex with the assistant of the girl we’re supposed to protect. I don’t need that kind of reputation around the office.”
“And if she came onto you when we weren’t working?”
“Well, that would be a whole different kettle of fish, now wouldn’t it? I mean, she’s damn hot.”
“What about you? From everything I hear, Aria’s been into you for a couple of years now.”
He shrugged. “I just don’t know.”
Silence for a moment. I was surprised to find I was very aware of his body, near mine. I could smell his aftershave, faintly, and I realized that around Matt at least, I was beginning to feel comfortable and at home.
I wondered what the company shrink would say about that. Matt interrupted my thoughts.
“So have you given any thought to what I said?”
I searched my memory but wasn’t sure what he meant. “Sorry, I don’t remember.”
“Yeah. Thanks for listening to me.”
“Sorry, man! Like everything you say is important.”
He laughed. “Touché. I was talking about you maybe not having found the right person.”
“Well….” I hesitated, then took a swig of my beer and decided to go for it.
“I might find someone who was ‘right’ for me if I let them try, I guess. I just never let anybody close enough to me. Everyone gets turned off by the attitude you’ve noticed.”
“So the evil truth comes out.”
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Have you ever considered something else?”
“Like…have you ever considered you might be queer?”
I glanced at him cautiously, but there was no censure in his eyes. On the contrary, there was sympathy, and curiosity. I bit back the sarcastic comment I had meant to say and instead considered his comment seriously. I looked down into my lap.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’ve never been attracted to a guy before.”
“Before? Before what?”
I caught my breath. Had I added the qualifier? Really? There was a pause, and the air was heavy with tension. Not entirely surprised, I felt his hand on my chin, and he gently turned my face to his. He was only a few inches away, and I held my breath.
Matt looked into my eyes for a long moment. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he leaned forward and kissed me on the mouth, gently, almost timidly.
I had a secret that I had never ever told anybody. I had never had anything like a “first kiss”. I had kissed girls but there had never been the least romance behind it, it had only been in the course of seduction or during sex and when I could I tried not to at all.
So this was the first time I had ever been kissed by someone so romantically and sweetly, someone I trusted this much, and I have to say, it was wonderful.
Matt’s mouth was warm and soft, and the kiss seemed almost shy. It only lasted a few seconds, and then he pulled away from me. I realized my eyes were closed. I also realized I had followed him, ever so slightly.
I opened my eyes to find him still sitting close to me, looking into mine. His hand was still cupping my face.
“I hope that didn’t offend you.”
I exhaled. “I-” I stopped, and started again. “Where did that come from?”
“Just been thinking about doing it for a while, and you’ve seemed incredibly lonely ever since I met you.”
“I didn’t think you were gay.” What an inane thing to say.
“I never said I was.”
“Bi?” Why did I even care, at this point?
He smiled. “Let’s just say I think sexuality is a flexible thing and, for me, anyway, has more to do with who you care for than what sex they happen to be. But you didn’t answer my question. Did I offend you?”
I shook my head. “No. No, you didn’t offend me.”
“Did you like it?”
“I…I don’t know. I didn’t hate it or anything like that.” I hastened to add.
“Should I try again?
I raised my eyes back to his and started to speak, then instead just nodded. “Please,” I whispered.
He did not disappoint and his lips met mine again, still warm and soft, still so undemanding.
I shivered and put my hands up on his chest. “Wait.”
He stopped immediately, pulling back just a bit. His face was still inches from mine.
“I don’t know how we got to this point, Matt. I uh, I need some time. I’m sorry.”
He covered my mouth with his fingers. “I understand.”
I stood, somewhat clumsily, as did he. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said, heading for the door. At the door he called me. “Kaiden.”
“Please stop apologizing, first of all. It’s perfectly OK. Secondly, I should be the one to say sorry. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
I hesitated, then nodded, and headed out the door.
I drove home in a fog. Kissed by a man! And I had liked it! How had I gotten through all these years without having the faintest inkling that this might be something I liked?
I let myself into my apartment. I didn’t turn on any of the lights and went straight to the bedroom. I stripped down to my shorts and lay on the bed, thinking.
I still remembered the way his dark eyes had looked into my own, the way he had been almost tender. And how easily his mouth fit against mine, and the feeling of his hand on my cheek.
I realized I was hard just thinking about it. God Almighty, what had happened to me?
I expected work the next day to be awkward, but when I got in, Rebecca informed me that Matt had been sent on an unexpected business trip. “So, he’ll be back tonight, no worries. In the meantime I have a couple of things for you to work on. You’ve been here long enough to handle it…”
I admit, I was grateful for the work. It distracted me at least partially.
The day went by, and then the evening. I went home and had dinner alone, and then sat and watched TV for a while.
At 9 PM I was standing outside of Matt’s door. I knew he’d be home, I’d asked Rebecca when his flight returned. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door.
Silence for a moment, and then the door opened cautiously, and he peeked out. “Oh, it’s you. Come on in.” He turned and went back in the house, leaving me to follow.
“Have a seat. You want a beer?”
“Sure.” I sat, unsure of what I was even doing here.
He brought it over, and then sat opposite me and opened his own.
“So how was your trip?”
“Busy. I had to be in downtown Sydney all day long. You remember the case we worked on three weeks ago?” And he reminded me of the specifics of the case.
We talked for a bit, but the conversation was desultory and distracted. Finally I interrupted him.
“Matt, about last night…”
He subsided into silence. Getting up, he placed his beer on the table. He looked at me and gestured. “Is it all right if I come sit near you, or are you going to run away again?”
I laughed, and the tension relaxed a little. “I’m sorry. If I told you the amount of times I’ve run away from someone who got a little too close…”
“I got the idea.” He came over and, instead of sitting next to me, sat on the coffee table right across from me. He put his folded hands into his lap and leaned forward, looking right into my eyes.
“So. Last night. Did I scare you?”
“Um, you kissed me. Totally out of the blue. It was a bit shocking, yes.”
He smiled wryly. “I take it you’ve never been kissed by another guy before?”
I rolled my eyes. “If I had, would I have reacted like that?”
“So…should I do it again?”
My breath caught in my throat. I felt like I was fourteen years old and just beginning to explore my sexuality. I hesitated, and then nodded. He chuckled.
Sliding forward to the edge of the table, he took my hands in his. Mine were sweaty and probably a bit clammy; his were slightly rough and cool. He gripped them tightly, and without hesitation his mouth went for mine.
He kissed me, and this time, I welcomed it, closing my eyes and letting him take charge. He kissed me and I felt his mouth open and his tongue gently brush against my mouth before he moved back — not all the way to where he had been sitting before, mind you, just a little.
“How was that?” he whispered. “Going to run away now?”
In response I leaned forward and kissed him back, somewhat clumsily. He responded, chuckling. I felt him shift and move onto the couch next to me, and then he folded me into his arms, drawing me close to him.
His mouth opened slightly and I felt his tongue flick along my lips. I shivered and realized I was fully erect, and my pants were suddenly uncomfortable. I opened my mouth and tried to catch his tongue, and he chuckled, warmly, into my mouth.
“Plenty of time, Kaiden. Don’t rush it.”
I sighed. He let his mouth roam to the edge of my mouth, which he kissed, then followed the line of my jaw to my ear. I felt his hot breath on my skin, and my arms came up almost involuntarily and gripped his biceps. I felt them, tense, under my hands.
“You’re desperately lonely, aren’t you?” Matt whispered in my ear. “I see it in your face, especially when Aria comes onto me. You look so…hungry. You just won’t admit it to anyone, not even yourself. You’re a total glutton for punishment.”
I heard myself sigh again slightly….he pulled me even closer to him, until my body pressed against his. He put his arms around me and I could feel his heart beating. I stiffened at first, unsure of how to deal with the hug.
“I don’t know why I like you, Kaiden. You’re a pain in the ass and hard to deal with. But fuck, you’re hot.”
And thus saying, he covered my mouth again with his own, this time, gently biting my mouth until I opened it and then sliding his tongue inside. The feelings rushing through me were stunning and I didn’t know how to react. I stiffened as I felt his hard cock rub against my leg, through both our pants. But there was no denying it; my own cock was hard as well, just from the rush of emotions.
His hands were exploring my body. One of them reached around behind my neck and cupped my head, and pulled me roughly toward him; I felt him pull my hair a little and I gasped. His other arm rested loosely on my shoulder, the fingers slipping just underneath my collar, touching my bare skin.
I was lost, and he brought me back to the moment when he bit my mouth, playfully. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “Where did you go, Kaiden? Stay with me, we’re just getting started.”
With that he pulled roughly at my shirt, letting the buttons slip one by one from their openings. I started to say something, I wasn’t sure what.
He cocked his head. “Are you going to tell me you’re still afraid? Look, just doing this doesn’t make us married, you know. But if you want me to stop…”
I shook my head. “No…just go slow. Please. This is all new to me.”
Without preamble, he gently rested his hand on my cock. “I can tell you like it, though.”
My cock seemed to want to surge through my pants. To my shock, I actually blushed.
True to his word, he moved slowly. He took his time, slipping each button of my shirt open and then planting wet kisses down my chest and flat, muscular belly. I shivered as I felt his teeth scrape along my ribs, and then efficiently and neatly he had somehow divested me of my shirt and I felt his fingers at my belt.
“Matt…” I breathed, but it was no longer a sound of protest. Now it was more like a plea as he slipped my belt through the loops and undid my pants. He opened them, gently, and pulled my shorts down, and my cock sprang into view, harder than I had ever felt it, fully erect.
His hand curled around it, gripped it, and began to stroke it. So very very different from a woman…almost comforting in a way. And then I felt his mouth close over the head and I lost all thought.
“Ohhh…damn, that feels good,” I whispered as his mouth engulfed my cock, working down the length of it. He pulled at my pants, and I shifted so he could move them around my hips, and then I felt him take me down all the way, his warm wet mouth stroking me, loving me.
I shifted my hips, pushing forward into his mouth a little more. Instead of gagging or protesting he moved with me and let me sink into his mouth further. I groaned again and put my hands in his hair and gripped his head…oh, he was so good. I began sliding in and out of his mouth, slowly at first, then building up, moving faster, until I was actually fucking his mouth. And he took it! I couldn’t, however, and with a grunt I slammed to the back of his mouth and came, powerful thrusts filling it. I could feel him swallowing around me and I shivered all over.
He didn’t let go of me even then, but gently cleaned me off, sucking on me until I was spent. Only then did he move up my body and look down into my eyes…and then kissed my mouth, greedily. I could taste my own come on his tongue and I felt myself begin to stiffen again already.
“Would you like to move to the bedroom?” he whispered softly.
I nodded, wordlessly. He helped me up, and as he did, divested me of the rest of my clothes, slipping my shoes off my feet as well. Of course I felt a little self-conscious, naked except for my socks, but he said nothing about it, merely kept his arms around me in a very reassuring way.
In the bedroom, he gestured for me to lie on his bed. I did, leaning back, and watched him.
Standing at the edge of the bed, watching me, he pulled his shirt up over his head, unbuttoned his jeans, let them drop with his shorts, and kicked them away with a delightful lack of self-consciousness. It took him less than a minute. My eyes immediately dropped to his cock, which was as hard as my own was when he took it in his mouth, jutting out from his body.
He came to me, crawling across the bed, his dark eyes smiling slightly. “Do you like what you see, Kaiden?”
“I do, though I’m not sure why.”
“I think you just like guys,” he said, as he guided my hand to his erect cock. My breath caught as I held another man’s cock in my hand for the first time ever.
“Maybe I just like you, Matt.”
He stopped, and smiled down at me, his cock sliding gently in and out of my hand. “Maybe you do. Either way, if you don’t already, I’m going to make sure you do.”