Loading...Security guard isn’t the most glamourous job in the world, but it suits me fine. After all, who else gets paid for sitting around watching a monitor all night? It’s a bit monotonous, but it gives me time to think. You can go into a kind of zen trance watching all the nothing going on. Lately I had been working this university gig – campus cops. It wasn’t bad. I got to walk around a bit, and the worst I had to do was break up a frat brawl or escort a panicky girl back to her dorm.
It was Tuesday night, so things were particularly uneventful. I was on my usual 1 AM sweep of the campus. The only sound was the wind flowing between the branches of the auburn trees, knocking off a few more leaves. I flicked my flashlight around, casting a sweep of light over the ground, not really expecting to find anything. But I did.
She was lying on the grass of the quad, covered in a blanket of leaves. Her black hair fell around her in clumps. Looking serene in sleep, she was unconsciously sucking on a blade of grass between her pale pink lips. I stood there for a minute, stunned at both her beauty and the strangeness of the situation.
The girl slowly began to open her eyes, stirring at the beams of the flashlight. She sat up, yawning and stretching her arms, then seemed surprised that it was still night. “What’s going on?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” I said. “You need some help getting home?”
She stood up, flushed, and dusted herself off. “No – no, I’m fine. I’m so sorry, it’s just…” The girl trailed off.
I tried to smile cavalierly. “Don’t worry, I see it all the time. Here, I’ll take you to your dorm.”
She stared at the ground. “I don’t have a dorm.”
“Well then, do you have a friend here you could stay with or–”
And that’s when she started crying. I stood there stiffly. I was never any good around crying women. I wrapped my jacket around her and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Here. Let me take you into the office and we’ll get this straightened out, okay?”
She nodded dumbly. Well, it was a start.
—
My office wasn’t really an office, just a small amount of room behind the security desk, but since it had a computer I liked to imagine it was an office. I lead the girl to a seat and told one of my co-workers that I would take over manning the desk. He shuffled off to get his sixth coffee of the night.
I turned to the girl, who was pulling her thin jacket tight around her. “So, who are you?”
“My name’s Rebecca,” she said.
I gave the officious response. “Nice to meet you, Rebecca. I’m Joanne, Campus Security.” They said doing it like that was supposed to help you remember the person’s name. “Why don’t we see about getting you home, or at least somewhere safe and warm for the night?”
“Don’t got either of those.” Her eyes were green like verdigris, and a little frightening in their intensity.
Upon prodding Rebecca provided her last name – Rose – and I did a quick search on the campus database. It turned up two parents as emergency contacts. “Why don’t you stay with your parents? It says here that they live in the city…”
“My parents kicked me out,” Rebecca said, trying to act casual. “For being a dyke.”
My throat dried. “I’m so sorry. Do you have any friends or anyone else that you can stay with?”
She shook her head. “Nah. You’d think I would at least wait until I had a girlfriend to come out, but no. I just wanted that happy touchy-feely moment of family togetherness and acceptance so bad.” She laughed bitterly. “Didn’t really work out the way I’d planned.”
On impulse I grabbed her hands and squeezed. “Hey. This isn’t your fault. Whatever ends up happening, remember that they’re the assholes here, not you.”
Rebecca looked a little amused. “I thought you were a security guard, not a shrink.”
“I’m a woman of many talents.”
“Whatever… anyways, the past week or so I’ve just been sleeping on campus. It’s actually kind of nice. You know, sleeping under the stars, communing with nature – all that shit.”
“What are you going to do when winter comes?”
That shrug again. “Haven’t really thought about it yet.” I felt sorry for Rebecca, but there was a part of me to reach across the desk and throttle her when she said things like that.
I tapped the desk. “Hang on there. I’ll make some calls, see if we can work something out.”
“It’s not like I’ve got anywhere to go,” Rebecca said. She was right. Beyond her personal situation, campus at these dead-of-night hours was like a cage – no buses, few cars, nothing around for miles but student slums and highways. You had to wait for whoever let you in to come around and let you out again.
I did indeed make some calls, but of course no one was answering this early. I left messages hoping they wouldn’t be overlooked or chucked into the labyrinth of university bureaucracy. I returned to my room to tell Rebecca the no-news, but she was already asleep in her seat, head tilted to rest on her own shoulder. She looked really cute. I’ll confess that I sat there and stared for a couple minutes, taking in the smoothness of her face, the serenity of her closed lids, the heave of her sizable chest as she breathed… it felt a little wrong, but I figured there was no harm in looking. Looking was all I was getting lately after all.
With a sigh I sat down and started up another round of Tetris.
—
Morning came, and with it a round of answers, none in the affirmative. There were no free spaces in residence she could use, no funding to get her a hotel room, nothing but condolences and helpless shrugs from the few staff or agencies that bothered to reply. The campus LGBT organization said she could stay in their clubroom, but that didn’t sound like much of an improvement, unless these kinds of organizations had come far from the dingy plastic-chairs days of my youth.
Rebecca woke up and grumbled that she needed some coffee. I went with her to the nearest coffee shop, not mentioning that my shift had been over for an hour. She tried to pay with a pile of change, but I waved her off and got it. She mumbled a thanks.
“Well, the bad news is that I haven’t been able to find a place for you yet,” I said as she slurped up her coffee tongue-burningly fast.
“I already did the rounds,” she said. “Believe me, this is my best option for now. Thanks for pretending to care though.”
That desire to strangle her was back. “What do you mean pretending? I’m really trying to help you here.”
“Well,” Rebecca said. “Unless you’re living out of a dumpster too, you’ve probably got a place to stay. But of course, that’s too good for me.”
I hadn’t even considered having her over at my apartment. Up until this point I was just working, thinking of what I could do as part of my job. Sure, helping strays wasn’t technically part of the job description, but I had been thinking of myself as Guard #372193 and not as Joanne Dickinson, as an institution and not a person. Which raised the question – did I actually care, personally care, about Rebecca? Beyond my job?
It was unfair of her to ask me, of course, and at first I wanted to curse her for the grenade she had thrown in my lap. But I didn’t, just staring out at the campus walk as it slowly filled with students. Rebecca was pointedly watching me.
If I let her crash on my couch, I would feel like a sap, like someone whose kindness and loneliness turned them into a doormat. But if I turned her away, I’d feel like a bitch, someone so low as to let a young girl sleep on the streets. It didn’t take long to choose which bad things other people (well, mostly me) would say about me.
“Alright,” I said to the table. “You can sleep on my couch. But only until you find somewhere else, okay?”
Rebecca got up and flung her arms around me, pressing her cheek to mind. An illicit thrill, a wave of warmth went through me as her breasts descended to touch mine. “Thank you so much! I knew when I saw you that you were a good person. Trust me, I’ll be out of there in a few days, I promise.”
“Don’t worry, there’s no rush,” I said, feeling benevolent. “And I’d save all those comments about me being a good person until you see my pigsty of an apartment.”
Rebecca finally gave me a smile. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
—
I woke up as the sun was beginning to set. My bulk took a little while to respond to my thoughts, but I eventually managed to haul myself up out of bed. I was briefly puzzled as to why I could hear the dull chittering of the TV – I couldn’t have left it on, could I? Belatedly the events of last night came back to me. I remembered coming back here with Rebecca in the morning, despite her playful protestations about breaking her perfect attendance record. She had been wide awake, having spent most of the night snoozing in my office, but I needed to hit the hay.
I wandered out into the combination living room/kitchen of my tiny one-bedroom apartment. Rebecca sat there in the same clothes she had worn yesterday (and for who knows how many days before then), watching the 6 o’clock news while digging into a bag of no-name cheese puffs that had been sitting on top of my fridge for a couple weeks. “Hey, have a good afternoon’s sleep?”
I shrugged. “The usual.”
“I had a shower and some of your food. Hope you don’t mind.”
I shrugged again. It was all I could do this closely removed from sleep. Having made sure Rebecca hadn’t burnt the place down, I went to the bathroom for my usual start-of-day routine. It was pure basics, not like the elaborate make-up rituals some of my girlfriends did. Had done, I supposed, back when they were still my girlfriends. They were getting older too and might not have the energy (or immaturity, I thought) to fight an increasingly uphill battle.
Back to the main room, with Rebecca looking oh-so-sweet. “So Joanne, you didn’t tell me you were gay.”
I stopped dead, hand reaching halfway towards the drawer with the cereal. “How do you know that?”
“Photos on the fridge,” said Rebecca. “Pretty sure that other girl isn’t your sister.”
I cast my eyes to the photos she was talking about. Me and Kristin, taken almost a year ago, the two of us smiling with our arms around each other. God, I should have taken those down. We had been broken up for months after all. Plus there was something almost taunting about those images – her ethereally pretty form, slender and young, next to my chubby body and butch-plain features. But there was always something more pressing than cleaning up my place, or even paying attention to it.
“No,” I said. “She’s not my girlfriend either. Not any more, anyway.”
“Sorry to hear it. She looks hot.”
“You know, I’m not one of your straight friends. You don’t have to try and act dykey to shock me or look cool or whatever.”
She looked genuinely hurt at the accusation. “What? I just thought she was a cute girl, is all. Not everything I say has an ulterior motive.”
She was right, I guessed. But the kind of shamelessness she displayed still irritated me. “Sorry. You’re right, she was pretty cute.”
Rebecca looked triumphant. “So, you got anything to eat around here? I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s kinda suppertime. I would go and get something myself, but I’m running a bit low on funds right now, as you can imagine.”
“Well, for me it’s kinda breakfast time. But there’s this diner place down the way that serves all day breakfast, so we can go there. I’ll pay.”
“Thanks for offering, but after weeks of campus fast food I kinda want a home-cooked meal.” The girl was infuriating. What did she think I was, a waitress?
I grudgingly opened my fridge. It was pretty bare – either Rebecca had done a number on it during the day or I needed to go grocery shopping soon or both. But I had both bread and a quarter-eaten brick of cheese hiding in there.
“How does some grilled cheese sound?” I said.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” she said.
“All right. You make the sandwiches and I’ll fry ’em up.” Rebecca looked a little surprised at being conscripted for the cooking – maybe she did think of me as a waitress after all – but dragged herself off the couch and did her part.
While I was waiting for the frying pan to warm up I wondered why I was doing all this for a girl I barely knew. The standard shrink answer would be that I saw a younger version of myself in her, but I really didn’t. When I was her age I was reserved, brimming with subdued anger, and in the closet to everyone I wasn’t fucking. For me lesbianism was something you did in private and didn’t talk about, not because it was shameful but because it created unnecessary complications – it wasn’t an identity you claimed without any experience. I was still like that, to some extent.
The other answer was that it was lust, that I was hoping to get this baby dyke in bed. But I was pretty sure that wasn’t it either. I mean, she was hot, but I could get plenty of girls that looked like her without all the hassle. So why was I cooking for her?
After we had finished making the simple meal we sat on the couch and ate, as the news blared on the television. “Man, this reminds me of home,” Rebecca said. “Thanks a lot.”
“No problem, kid.”
She gobbled down her sandwiches at twice the rate that I did. It was understandable, I guess. When she was finished Rebecca sat the plate down on the table and put a hand on my thigh. I froze. Even through my jeans I could feel the warmth and a strange kind of shock.
“What are you doing?”
She rolled off the couch and knelt between my legs. “Well, I figure since you’re taking such good care of me I should repay you somehow. And this way sounds best to me.”
“Rebecca, I don’t need a whore.”
I don’t know what I expected her reaction to be – relief, anger, something at least – but her expression didn’t change one bit. “It’s not like that.” She undid the button of my jeans. “Don’t make a big deal about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”
I wanted to. I really wanted to. But at the same time, I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. Rebecca didn’t know what she was doing, not really. I stood up abruptly, grabbing a fistful of denim to stop my pants from falling down. She looked up, confused.
“Look, honey, in this situation I think it’s better if we don’t…” Had I just called her honey? I never said things like that.
Rebecca nodded glumly. “I know what you mean. But I just don’t want to be your charity case, you know.”
“You won’t be. Trust me, something will open up soon enough.”
—
Of course, nothing opened up, at least nothing above the level of a homeless shelter. I wanted to leave Rebecca somewhere she would be safe, but with my salary there was nothing left to offer but my couch. Hell, affording food for two people was straining things as it was. The situation wasn’t sustainable for long, and I knew it. But what was I going to do, kick her out?
I woke up a bit more than a week after first meeting Rebecca to a smell that instantly made my mouth water. After throwing some clothes on (one of the things I missed most was being able to wander around my place in various states of undress), I stepped out to discover Rebecca with two frying pans over the oven. Pancakes and bacon. She was wearing an apron and had her hair tied back in pigtails, looking like some kind of domestic goddess.
“Wow,” I said.
Rebecca looked over and beamed at me. “Just thought I would make you something for your 6-PM-breakfast. You like?”
“Smells great,” I said. “Where did you get this stuff, though?”
“Back of your fridge, back of your cupboards. Hope the bacon’s still good.” Rebecca had become a regular excavator of my home, finding little treasures I had forgotten about months ago. She was wearing some of them now – Kristin’s old clothes, found crumpled on the floor of my closet. My clothes were too big for her, but my ex’s fit her eerily well.
The food was great. Rebecca served herself some too, but spent most of the time watching me eat. I almost suspected the apron of being another ploy to attract me, play into some kind of fetish thing. She had been pulling out all the stops over the past week – brazenly changing right in front of me, dropping innuendo at every opportunity, walking around after a shower with a tight pink towel wrapped around her body, riding up above her creamy thighs, dangling precariously off her generous breasts, the type of thing that you could just grab a corner of and gently tug and there she would be for you, unwrapped like a Christmas present, in all her glorious–
I needed to stop. The apron was, I assured myself, just to stop grease or whatever from getting on the clothes. I couldn’t let my filthy thoughts get away with me. “So how were your classes?”
“Good,” she said. “I’ve got a ton of reading for next week, but I should be able to get it done. Thinking of taking a Women’s Studies minor. I dunno, after all this it just seems really… relevant, y’know.”
I did not, in fact, know. Rebecca was an English major, one of those students I had resentfully glared at before. I had never gotten to go to college, but if I did I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have wasted four years and God knows how much money studying old books and feminist screeds. Which reminded me…
“So, what’s the deal with your tuition?”
Wrong question. Rebecca looked up at me with a frown. “Well, my parents already paid it for this year, and that’s locked in. But after that…”
The silence loomed. “I’m sure they have scholarships for people in your situation,” I said, trying to make myself believe it as well as her. I’m not sure why it was so important to me that she get her useless degree, but for that moment it was.
Rebecca shrugged, but the shrug couldn’t hide her sadness. On impulse I swept her into my arms and gave her a bear hug. She took refuge in my body, pressing herself close. For all she tried to affect nonchalance, I realized, she was going through some tough times.
I released her and she looked back up at me with a smile, looking refreshed. Well, that was my good deed of the day. I guess she could have accused me of leading her on, but it wasn’t like that. It was just a hug. A hug between friends.
—
It was a couple days later, and I had just gotten back from escorting a staggering girl back to her dorm. She kept rambling about how drunk she was and about some boy named Dylan, and I wondered why girls like this got dorm rooms and free rides when Rebecca (or I) didn’t. Well, I never expected the world to be fair.
When I got back to my station I found Lewis waiting for me. As far as I can figure out he’s my boss, heading up the university security team, although with the mystic academic bureaucracy it’s sort of hard to tell who’s actually in charge around here. “Hey Joanne. Mind if I talk to you for a minute?”
I nodded, trying to dispel the sinking feeling. He invited me into his office (he actually had an office, albeit a closet-sized one) and had me take a seat.
“I don’t want to worry you,” he said, which is never a good start to a sentence, “But we’ve been getting some reports about you having… a relationship with one of the students.”
Rebecca. How had they found out? “It’s not a sexual relationship, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“Well, a couple students have said you’re living with this girl, which I think may be cause for some concern, given that you’re an authority figure here.” Who were these students? Why did they care so badly about who I was living with?
“Look, all I’m doing is giving her a place to stay for now. Would you prefer she was homeless? Because that’s the alternative. I’ve tried getting her some space–”
He put up a hand to stop me. “Okay, okay. Look, it’s just not a very good looking situation all right? Don’t put her out on the street, but try to find another place.” There was an implicit or else in his tone, for all he tried to seem friendly. The message was pretty clear.
—
When I returned from night shift Rebecca had just woken up. For some reason she made sure to be awake whenever I came in and pester me with a bit of conversation when all I really wanted to do was get to sleep. Today was no different. She sat on the couch in her T-shirt and a pair of my boxers which went down past her knees.
“Good morning Joanne,” she chirped. “How was your day?”
“Fine,” I said automatically. “Say, have you been telling anyone about our… I mean, you staying here? Any professors or people like that?’
Rebecca shook her head. “Well, no professors, but I might have mentioned it to some friends… some people I met at the LGBT org… they didn’t get it though, they thought I was being manipulated or something.”
A surge of anger hit me. She was going around bragging to try and make friends, and it might cost me my job. And she just said this to me so fucking innocuously, like she had done nothing wrong. It was just the perfect end to days and days of irritation as this inconsiderate carefree girl waltzed through my life without any concern as to what she might be stepping on, in her tight little towels and revealing clothing and…
I grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her down to a prone position. She looked startled, like she hadn’t been expecting me to get angry at all. “You want to play dyke so bad? I’ve given you everything I can out of the kindness of my fucking heart and you can’t even keep quiet? You realize that I might lose my job now, right?”
Rebecca was shivering. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”
I grabbed her boxers by the hem and pulled them off her in one smooth motion. Her young cunt was there quivering along with the rest of her, with the lightest thatching of brunette hair, so pink and fresh and promising. “You want me to fuck you so badly?”
She nodded. The little bitch actually nodded. “You desperate little slut,” I muttered, and without prelude shoved two fingers into her. She tensed up against me. For a second there I thought she was going to beg off, that she had realized she was in over her head. I paused, giving her a chance to relent. But once again, she couldn’t appreciate what she had.
“Well go ahead,” Rebecca said. “Give me your best shot, if you’re such a tough butch.”
That was it. Her shaky bravado had blown away any reason I had left. I pulled out my fingers and thrust them in again. Despite my harsh motions they went in easier this time – the little minx was already getting wet.
Another thrust, the edge of my wrist slamming into her delta, and Rebecca let out a jagged gasp. My fingers inside her began moving in a slow rhythm, thrusting in and out. She was beginning to writhe against me, thrusting her hips up for more. I kept up the slow and deliberate rhythm, wanting to see her squirm.
I leaned down and kissed her on the neck, biting in just enough to make her feel a little pain with her pleasure. Her gasps began to sound less shocked and more aroused, as my anger was changing into a violent arousal that yearned to get out. My fingers began to move increasingly fast, thrusting into her waiting cunt, truly fucking her.
After I had left my teeth marks on her neck I sat up and began picking up the pace of my fingerfucking. I wanted to see her as she moved, flushed and hungry, desperately trying to capture any part of me she could. I slipped a third finger into her and she instantly moaned her appreciation.
Her clit stood straight up, desperate for affection, as did her nipples underneath her shirt, but I ignored all that for now, just fucking her faster and harder. Rebecca’s breath got shallow and rapid. “Please… please…” she said with a moan, clearly on the edge of orgasm but unable to make the final step over.
“Please what?” I said, ceasing all motion. “Please stop?”
“Noooooo…”
“I dunno what you want then.” I loved being cruel.
“Please Joanne… make me cum.”
“Sorry, did I hear you right?” I said. “You want me to make you cum, you little slut?”
“Pleeeeaase!”
I shrugged and started ramming my fingers into her as fast as I can. My thumb brushed up against her clit, and that was all it took. She exploded against me, letting out a deep yell as her hips bucked up and down uncontrollably. I kept fucking her as she came, and just when it looked like she was done she squealed as another climax took her. I pulled my hands out and watched as Rachel thrust her hips up uncontrollably, fucking the air.
It took her a while to calm down and take some deep breaths. Her body was practically glowing – she looked well and truly fucked. For a moment I felt a sense of pride.
Rebecca sat up and leaned over to kiss me. I brushed her away. She let out a murmur of disappointment.
“I need to sleep,” I said, as callously as possible. Rebecca looked hurt and uncomprehending. I was kind of glad about that.
As calmly as I could I walked to my room and closed the door behind me, stuffing my laundry hamper in front of the door to stop Rebecca from following me inside. I practically dived onto my bed and shoved my hand down my pants and into my soaked cunt. I finger-fucked myself to a quick but electric orgasm, having to bite down on my lip to stifle my moans as my hips bounced uncontrollably off the mattress.
After I calmed down I realized I had crossed a line, and felt a little ashamed, but not as much as I would have expected. For the most part I just felt really lucid, like a slow syrupy calm had come over me. All the anger and frustration and repressed desire had been exorcised, and now we were on the other side of that chasm with no way of getting back.
—
I didn’t remember precisely when I fell asleep, but I must have at some point, because I woke up in the afternoon with the kind of weird soreness that comes from sleeping with your clothes on. I realized that I would have to face Rebecca again. Well, I could always hide in my room forever, but that plan wasn’t too appealing to me either.
I changed quickly and tentatively ventured out into the living room. No sign of Rebecca. I remembered that she had night classes today, and wouldn’t get back until eleven-ish. I guess I should have felt relieved that that confrontation was avoided, but I didn’t.
For the rest of the day I was on auto-pilot. It was a good thing my routine was so undemanding that I could go through it without really paying attention to anything. I’m sure some kid got mugged five feet from me that night and I just walked on by.
I was at the desk watching monitors when Rebecca came in. She looked different, although I couldn’t quite place it – maybe it was the jacket or the bookbag slung over her shoulder. But it suddenly seemed like she wasn’t just some girl I lived with. She looked like a student, and I was just a small part of her life. Or maybe it was just the look on her face, miles away from the usual mocking exuberance.
“Hey Joanne,” she said quietly. “I just wanted to stop by and yet you know… I called my Dad and we talked and I’m gonna be moving back in with him this weekend. Thanks for everything and I’m, y’know, really sorry if it caused you any trouble…”
“That’s great to hear,” I said. “I mean, not great that you’re leaving, but that your family is, you know, accepting of everything and willing to take you back…” The discomfort on her face told me that I was far off. “They are, aren’t they?”
Rebecca sighed and stared at the ground. “Well, my Dad wants me to go to this ‘re-orientation program’… you know, the whole pray the gay away bit. Don’t worry, I know it’s bullshit… I figure I’ve just got to mouth the right words and keep the girlfriends on the down-low and I’ll keep a roof over my head.”
“You know you don’t have to–”
“No, it’s fine,” said Rebecca. “I know you want me out of your hair.”
“If this is about last night, I’m sorry. I got mad and it won’t happen again.”
“No, that was fun,” she said, momentarily grinning. “But I mean, I can’t keep imposing on you, and I miss my family. I love them, even if they are bigots.”
I reached out to stroke her cheek on impulse. She jerked away. “Rebecca, you can’t just go back in the closet.”
“Well, I can try,” she said with a chuckle. “Anyways… I should let you get back to work. Later.”
I felt like stopping her as she walked away, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. So I just watched as Rebecca’s subdued form slipped into the night air.
—
To say the next couple days were strained would be a gross understatement. Rebecca seemed to avoid the apartment whenever I was in it, going out to get dinner on her own every night. She was always sound asleep when I came in at dawn, or at least pretended to be. It felt like I was living with a huge weight on my chest, a weight that no one else could see and I had no idea what to do with.
Finally Saturday morning came. Rebecca was flitting around the apartment looking for anything of hers that she had missed, although it wasn’t like she had brought much. She was dressed in the clothes she came in, Kristin’s spares tucked away in a bottom drawer for another couple months of gathering dust. Normally my nocturnal schedule would have me in bed right now, but I was staying up with the help of a generously sized cup of coffee.
“I think you have everything,” I said with a raised eyebrow. “It’s not that big of an apartment, really.”
“Let me just check one more time,” Rebecca said, continuing to pace.
“You do know that you don’t have to do this, right?” I said for what seemed like the fiftieth time. “I mean, I’m not going to kick you out.”
“No, you were right,” she said. “I don’t need to be so in-your-face about the lesbian thing.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so upset about someone telling me I was right.
There was a knock at the door that nearly made me spit up my heart. Rebecca’s head jerked up, an uncertain expression on her face, and then she went to answer it.
“Daddy!” I got up and turned to see Rebecca embracing an older man. With his casual dress and salt-and-pepper hair he didn’t really look like the fearsome patriarch I had been envisioning.
“Sweetheart,” he said and kissed her on the forehead. “We’ve been so worried about you. I’m so glad to see you’re safe.”
I hesitantly stepped in view as Rebecca went to grab her bag. When her father saw me his expression changed dramatically. I could only imagine myself from his eyes: with my short hair and big masculine build I was the perfect image of the bull dyke corrupting his little daughter. He stepped forward, the corner of his lip twitching.
“So you’re the one responsible for this, huh?” he said, face flushing.
“Uh, Dad, this is Joanne. She’s been letting me crash here and taking care of me.” Rebecca interposed herself between her father and me, obviously trying to cut off any confrontation at the start.
“Taking care of you my ass,” he said, shouldering past his daughter. “Listen you. How dare you take advantage of my daughter. She’s young, she’s confused, and she doesn’t need to get dragged into your sick sexual escapades. What have you done to her?”
“Dad, it’s not like that,” Rebecca said, tugging futilely at his sleeve.
His voice had raised to a yell. “Well, how about it? What have you done to my daughter, you freak?”
The voice was familiar. It was my voice, the steady internal monologue that had drummed since I had first seen Rebecca, the song of shame and embarrassment. But somehow, when it was outside myself, in the hands of a scared middle-aged man shaking a quivering finger at me, I found the courage to speak back.
“Sir,” I said, managing to keep my voice level. “Your daughter loves you, and I’m sure you love her. But you have to accept that she’s a lesbian. You have to accept that because it’s not going to change, no matter how much shit you put her through.”
He slapped me. It didn’t hurt, but the look on Rebecca’s face was all the pain I could handle. Her mouth hung open as if her lower lip was pulled by fish-hooks, her eyes were dazed and horrified. Rebecca’s father looked embarrassed about the whole situation. He turned on me without a word and walked to the front door again.
“Come on, Rebecca,” he said. She didn’t move. Her eyes were rooted on the couch where she had spent the past several nights. “Rebecca?”
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” I said quietly.
Tears started leaking from Rebecca’s eyes and she rushed her hand up to bat them away. It was then that I understood. All her bravado, her youthful cockiness, all of it was a frantic desperate shout, her last line of defence against this terrible smothering silence that had now engulfed the room.
After what seemed like an eternity, Rebecca stepped back. Back towards me. “I’m sorry, Dad,” she said. It was only a murmur but we all heard it clearly.
Her father left without a word, letting the door slamming behind him do all the talking. In the last glimpse of his face I felt not the hatred I should feel for him, but sympathy, maybe even some recognition. He looked like I had felt lately – that vague sense of having fucked everything up and not being sure how to start repairing the damage.
Rebecca turned to me, eyes shiny with tears she was doing her best to hold back. “I’m sorry Joanne, I know I–” I cut her off by swallowing her in my embrace, pressing her thin form as close to mine as I could.
“I’m sick of hearing you apologize,” I said, and then kissed her on the lips.
Rebecca was cold against me, shocked stiff, but soon her lips parted and yielded to my invading tongue. And then she suddenly started giving as good as she got, tongue lapping hungrily at mine, both of our hands flying over each others bodies rapidly as if we needed to feel every inch of the other’s flesh or else it would disappear.
We stumbled down the hallway, lips and bodies locked, until we stumbled over my bedroom. I almost tripped over a pile of dirty clothes, but managed to turn it over into a waltz-like step and deposit Rebecca on my bed. She looked up at me with a grin of exhilaration, and then reached down to take off her top.
It was the first time I had seen her breasts, fully and openly, not just the tops peaking enticingly out of a towel. Like Rebecca herself, they were both less and more impressive behind the wall of seduction and bravado. They stood up straight, vaguely conical, topped with dark red nipples. They were, I thought, the perfect size for playing with, just right to fit snugly in a hand or mouth.
Rebecca noticed my pause and looked at me, probably wondering if something was wrong. I assuaged her fears by climbing onto the bed on top of her and immediately diving into her chest. Rebecca gasped as I left kisses and nips in the valley between her breasts, then leaned over to take one in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the nipple like it was an ice cream cone. She responded with a mewl and a hand in my hair, making sure I kept at it.
I lavished love on both her tits until she was bucking desperately against me, back arching uncontrollably. I smiled and sat up before unbuttoning her jeans. Rebecca leaned back and put her feet on my shoulders, letting me tug off her pants and panties with one smooth motion. And then she was there in front of me, my little minx, nude except for her innocent white schoolgirl socks. Her body was youthful and vibrant and flawless, and at that moment absolutely nothing could have stopped me from having it.
I ran my fingers lightly through her soft pubic hair, passing over her clit but not lingering there. I wanted to treat her gently, to make this different from that anger-fuelled fucking on the couch. As my hands were passing over her pussy lips, showing definite dampness, she reached down and grabbed my wrist. I looked up, surprised.
“You always try to fuck me with all your clothes on,” Rebecca said with a teasing smile. “Come on. You’re overdressed.”
“Really, I’m fine like this…”
She sat up and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. The girl wasn’t taking no for an answer. There was nothing I could do but raise my arms and suck my gut in.
I expected a look of revulsion to cross her face. She would try to hide it of course, but there was just no getting around the fact that I looked chubby and washed up, especially next to her perfect young body. But instead she just doggedly moved on to my pants, tugging them off until they were balled around my ankles. The positions seemed to have switched – she was on her haunches leaning over me, rapidly advancing and taking what she wanted, and I was backed up against the wall, fighting the urge to retreat.
She looked over my naked body, saggy and imperfect. “You’re beautiful.” To my shock, it sounded like she meant it.
Rebecca leaned forward, her head leading like an animal looking for treats. I shifted away instinctively, but ran into the wall very quickly. Rebecca smirked and dove into the valley of my breasts. Her head pressed against my tits, hair leaving angelic touches over my nipples as her tongue fiendishly licked at every square millimeter of flesh it could reach. There was a kind of pleasant heat, a radiance coming from my bosom that I hadn’t felt in ages. She was sliding in close to me, pressing her body to me tight as a second skin. The warmth, and her roaming fingertips, were spreading.
She kissed her way down my stomach, loving every curve. When she got too low she grabbed my legs and pulled me out onto the bed with surprising strength until I was spread eagle before me. Rebecca loomed over me, taking a good long glance at my body, and she looked hungry.
Rebecca then lowered herself back down to her ultimate destination: my cunt. I felt her hair descending on my thighs with a feathery touch then, and then her tongue probing between my bushy pubes to find the damp flesh underneath. My body tremored when she touched me first. It had been too long, and I had forgotten how much better it was when it was someone else between my legs and not just my hand.
She was obviously not an experienced pussy-eater, but she went at it with a fervour to bring me pleasure that would have redeemed even the worst technique. Maybe I was just imagining it, but her clumsy early licks seemed to become more skilled as time went on and my moans got higher and louder. There were a couple of times when I had to put my hand on the back of her head and guide her back to my clit, but she picked up on every little reaction of mine like a prodigy, and I soon felt rhythmic waves of pleasure pulsing through my body.
A familiar sensation began to creep over me. It felt like a heat that was about to engulf my body and burn away all my control, but also a heat that I couldn’t get enough of, that would make my combustion a blissful one. Rebecca was now flicking my clit between her tongue as she thrust two fingers in and out of me. It was a gentler rhythm than the one I had fucked her with the other day, but the triumphant look on her face told me that she still relished the role reversal. The sheen of my juices on that face kept it from seeming too vengeful though.
In that instance I focused on Rachel and turned away from my own pleasure, an orgasm snuck up on me and ran through me like a freight train. I let out a scream that was entirely too high-pitched and clawed at the sheets beneath me, pulling the ends out from under the mattress. The release flowed through me like a post-workout high times a thousand, a feeling of not just pleasure but triumph that made everything around me seem sharper and more wonderful.
It took me a moment to return to normal, face flushed and breathing heavy. Rebecca was on her knees and looking at me with a grin on her face. Her nudity seemed somehow cocky. “So what do you think?”
“It’ll do,” I said, returning her grin, which I wondered why I had never thought to do before. “You’ve got potential, with the right instruction. And of course, lots of practice.”
She leapt into my arms and kissed me hard. I was a little oversensitive after the last orgasm, but my body quickly rose to the challenge, shifting back into the hungry and seeking mode as our kiss got deeper and our bodies more interlocked. I stroked her body, her shoulderblades that poked out from her thin frame, her cute little belly button, the sides of her hips that made her tense up and moan against me. I wanted this girl: not just now, but as long as I could keep my hands on her. There was so much to do and so much to explore.
I grabbed Rebecca by the shoulders and shoved her down to the bed playfully. Then I climbed on top of her, slipping my legs around one of her thighs, the two of us pressed skin to skin. Despite the difference in our builds we were actually the same height, so she stared me in the eye as we kissed and our toes touched.
I began to rub my thigh against her cunt, which was sopping wet, having obviously longed for attention during the time she was caring to me. I would remedy that. I began to slide back and forth on top of her, brushing breast against breast and leg against crotch. I would slide forward and then dip up and go back in a smooth motion.
Rebecca mischievously put her knee up, giving me back as well as I was giving her. It was a simple rhythmic motions, the two of us thrusting up against each other like we wanted to merge into one body. Soon we were moving faster and faster, mouths and fingers trying to grab a hold of whatever they could. We stared each other in the eyes the whole time we were fucking, each of us daring the other to break first and give into the pleasure that was coursing through us in ever-stronger waves, each thrust the start of another ripple.
I was sure I would be the first one to give. I was on top and theoretically in control, but the heat had taken over my body again and was burning away my brain, leaving me no choice but to thrust faster and faster, desperate for the next hit of that incredible pleasure. But Rebecca was rocking against me just as much and twice as desperately.
She came first, her eyes bugging out as she let out a high shriek. The expression on her face was one of surprise, like she had never thought she could feel this good. She clung to me like she was afraid of being swept away. My hips thrust on their own against her leg and I followed her in orgasm. My vision went blank for a while, fading to dynamic oranges and reds, but I barely noticed from how good I felt with every nerve of my body singing out in rapturous delight.
We collapsed back onto the bed, legs still entwined and still holding onto each other desperately. We didn’t say anything. It felt like talking would ruin everything.
We nodded off, or at least I did, falling into a cozy afternoon nap. When I woke up the sun had gone down behind the building across from us and the sky had turned the royal purple that signified that night was impending. Rebecca was still there, still holding me and looking at me with half-lidded eyes.
“Hey Joanne?” she said, her voice timider than I expected.
“Yeah?”
“What are we going to do about your job? And my tuition, and–”
I cut her off with a kiss. It was becoming my favourite way to shut her up, and I wondered why I hadn’t tried it earlier. “Listen, we’ll work everything out. There are going to be problems, sure, but I think between the two of us we can deal with anything.”
Rebecca said nothing, but as night came on she intertwined her fingers with mine and offered me a shy smile.