Dear readers, this one is something a bit different for me. It is just a short and simple attempt to portray the love shared by two men through letters. It does however hope to capture the essence of a subject dear to me; the potential beauty of love between homosexual men.
I hope you enjoy this little effort and as always, your comments and votes are appreciated — Yukonnights
My dearest Martin,
You have just left my side and already I miss you so. The day has broken dismal and gray… pushing a heavy despondence down upon me and trying to wash away the warmth of your embrace. I know if only you were here the rain would not dampen my spirit so. No, we would lie warm in front of the fire enjoying both the day and one another.
So I take up my best stationary and will attempt to use my best hand to send along my thoughts of love and longing…for by so doing, I will be forced into thinking only of you and at least a memory of my joy shall return.
But can words alone ever hope to adequately express all that I feel? Surely not, and yet I hope somehow to convey what you mean to me and how my life has changed because you are now a part of it. Yes, my love, it has surely changed…and I have changed. You have shown me my true place in the larger scheme of this great circle of life wherein we all dance. And that place is under you…to look to your happiness in total surrender…to be the one that satisfies your sexual needs.
Oh my dear Martin, can you even begin to imagine what that confession means to me? Can you know what it means for one man to surrender his manhood to another? Can you pretend to know how it feels for me to be taken by you as a man takes a woman? I, who in the past have taken women as a man, have now become as a woman to another man! No, I do not believe you can fully understand these emotions that I feel. I myself do not truly comprehend them even though they well up from the core of my being. And yet, surely you have some inkling as to how I feel because it has been your words…your actions…your seduction…that has brought me to this place. Did you not know that you were asking me to lay aside a part of my own manly pride as you took my body…as you took my soul?
But nay! You did not take these things, did you? Instead you simply showed me how desperately I wanted to give them to you. In your wisdom, gentleness, and love, you just offered me the opportunity to offer up those things that I so needed to forfeit…the surrender that would set me free. So, it is I who has freely given my all to you…and now I sometimes fear what shall come of that giving. Shall my new found freedom be the very thing that destroys me? After you have helped me to know myself and allowed me this opportunity to know the truth, shall you ever grow tired of my love and turn me aside? How could I ever go back to being the man I was after I have become what I am meant to be?
Oh Martin! How can I possibly tell you how it feels to surrender it all? To explain to you the sweet humiliation I experience at my submission to your strength. And the humiliation is sweet…so very sweet…and how ironic that sounds to me even as I write the words. For what man would think of such emotions as a pleasant thing? And yet, it is the very act of laying my manhood at your feet that sends such a tingle of joy throughout my entire body! To kneel before you stripped naked, and take your swollen symbol of virility into my mouth and suckle you as a babe would his mother…somehow knowing that I will receive sustenance and life from deep within you. And with your growing awakening, I feel your urgent but loving hand on the back of my head as you force my mouth tightly onto your strength…to be choked by your power. And then it is no longer I who is giving service to my man. No, it is he who is taking what is rightfully his own as you begin that primordial motion back and forth, using my mouth for your pleasure.
Should a man not feel shame at being on his knees and allowing another man to use his mouth as he would a woman’s body? At yet I do not feel shame, I feel conquered…and content in my subjugation. See, my own erection would prove me to be a liar if I tried to say my desire was not equally awakened by our act. To feel your arousal grow from my service ignites my own lust. And my dear Martin, each time you have done this to me I have become more of your possession…until now I am yours…yours in every sense of the word. This, my love, is the sweet humiliation you give me that my feeble words so inadequately describe.
And shall I go on to describe the ultimate act of my capitulation? You know of what I speak…the giving up of my body to your penetration. Do you think it was not humiliating the first time you mounted me and bred me? But with that first breeding you also broke me…before that moment I might have by some means found my way back to my previous life. But far surpassing my humiliation at your taking of my virginity was the sheer joy and physical pleasure of my initiation to your power. I wonder; did you somehow know it would only take the one time to turn me? Regardless, it did only take the one taste of your supremacy to make me yours. As your strength weighed down on me and the fiery flame of your flesh entered deep inside me, I knew that I was finally in the place I belonged. And of course we both know that place is under you…to yield to you as you take your entitlement.
Even now that sweet humiliation is there each time I relinquish my manly pride and assume my position for your pleasure. But I confess to you that I have come to crave this sweetness. It has become like a rare and exotic ingredient to me as I cede that false pride of my former self to you…and with each act of giving, my addiction to this nectar grows in proportion with my love for you.
Martin, need I also confess that you bring me great physical satisfaction as well? I think not, for surely you already know that you do. How I wish that words could describe the wonderful sensations I experience as your manhood grows hard inside of me…the momentum and strength of your thrusts growing more powerful as you press your flesh deep into my core…until I feel that we must have merged into one single consciousness that is being consumed in the inferno of love. But you already know, don’t you love? How could you not know that you fully satisfy me… do I not always release my own silky passion each time you take me into that inferno? And even that has a pleasant drop of my sweet, sweet shame…to be brought to the heights of orgasm from another man’s penetration…but of course, now I have confessed all to you and we both know that the sweetness of my submission brings almost as much pleasure as the strength from your body as you coerce the semen from my tingling flesh.
So now, after these many months of your dominance over me, I willingly and joyfully come to you each time your manly needs are awakened. And yet each time I lay on my back, opened for your taking, I still experience a sense of joy…and each time I feel your strength slide into my depths, I think I could never get enough of you inside of me to achieve some final satisfaction. No, the more I experience of your beauty, strength and love, the more I hunger for you.
So my sweet Martin, I have opened my soul to you as I have opened my body. Doing so with pen and ink has made it easier for me to acknowledge these things to you…and perhaps easier to admit them to myself as well. You must know that you hold me in the palm of your hand…to keep or cast aside…to love or to abandon…and yet I am forever yours and forever grateful for the love we have known. I long for your return as a maid must long for her master… I shall keep watch until you return to me from across the ocean.
Your Possession, Stefan
Stefan, my only love;
Your letter brought me to the most wonderful heights of joy, but also to the depths of despair.
To hear the words of your confessions is most dear to me. Your intimate words brought me such delight. It is so very fulfilling to have you describe some of the emotions my love has wrought in you. I must tell you that I did not know the fullness of your sense of humiliation from giving yourself to me. But in knowing, I am so much more in love with you because of the great surrender you made for me. And the “sweet humiliation” you speak of brings me both pride and happiness. I am happy that I have been able to help you find a true sense of who you are and of your place in the Grand Scheme. Our many discussions along these traces of the Great Mysteries have brought me hours of enjoyment, and I am happy to know that perhaps our talks have helped you in such an important way.
And now I will make my own confession. Your beautiful words describing the joy of your surrender have made me feel more pride of my own manhood than I have ever known. The mere fact that you experience such joy and satisfaction as you offer yourself to me …or as you call it, that “sweet humiliation” … and the willing forfeiture of the former sense of your own manhood…these things bring to me a “sweet pleasure” all my own.
But your words expressing fear that I might somehow grow weary of you and become negligent in my love bring to me both sadness and despair. Have I not yet proven my devotion? Have I not shown that I hold you dear? Obviously the fact that you even harbor such thoughts shows that I have not been diligent in my care for you. For this I offer my apology. I ask that you accept it knowing that any pain or concern I brought to you was done in ignorance.
Let me first be clear about how I view your submission. While you may think that men like me might hold submissive men like you in contempt, the truth is far from that. No, men like myself…dominant men you might call us…we treasure men like you…we need men like you to complete our own selves. For I ask; where would I be without you? I answer that I would be all alone. Don’t you realize that you complete me just as I complete you? In fact, I would rather die than to be without you! It is you that gives substance to my own sense of manliness. And it is not just your beautiful body that I crave and hunger for. No, it is your very act of submission that you yourself enjoy such a “sweet humiliation” from giving! For I receive an equally potent but uniquely different taste of “sweet nectar” each time you kneel before me…and each time you willingly open your body for my penetration and pleasure. So you see my love, we complete one another. Is this not the way of our Universe…the very Law of Mysteries? Does not strength need weakness? Does not light need darkness? Does not a Dominant man need a Submissive man?
So, let me forever drive away any thoughts you may harbor about the way I view your submission. I say it again; I both adore and crave your capitulation to me. And I respect you all the more because you have found your true self and are man enough to have accepted that truth.
And shall I ever grow weary of such great love? Who can promise the morrow? Can you promise me that you will always love me? No. For none of us can know what tomorrow will bring. But I can assure you that today…in this moment…for every moment in my imagination and dreams… I love you and desire for you to be mine. Have I not said as much on many occasions? Have I not asked you to come to me and be mine?
I ask you again now; come to me Stefan. Sell all of your possessions and come to me across the sea. I desire to take you as a man takes a wife…to care for you…to provide for your needs. I believe we can find more happiness here than in the States. My country is more understanding of men such as you and I. We can live in peace here I do believe. I have contacted a broker to be on the lookout for our perfect home…a place with enough room where you can pursue you art…a place by the sea shore with a lovely garden…a place where we can make a home. All I await is your answer.
I hope that my words have brought more clarity regarding my feelings for you. I apologize again if I have unknowingly left you feeling insecure about the depth of my love. I have enclosed a gift for you. The box holds a small symbol of the enormity and sincerity of my words. It is an engagement ring. It is not like the overly ornate kind a man might offer to a woman…it is a special ring for a special man. If you desire to be mine, I ask that you put it on your finger.
I am returning to you as soon as possible. In a matter of weeks I shall finish all of the urgent matters here and secure the fastest possible transport back to you. My business can be handled by others after that for as long as we need to resolve how we shall proceed. You now fully know my feelings. Thus, without hesitation I put the burden onto you to answer in your own mind what you shall do with the love that I offer. As for me, I hope that when I next see you that my ring shall be on your finger. But I adjure you; give earnest thought to the implications of that ring…I ask that you only put it on willingly…neither from fear of loss, nor sense of obligation…your happiness is all I desire.
You Own True Love, Martin
My Dearest Martin,
Just a short note my love, because I dare not waste a moment in posting this to you…I have your ring on my finger and I watch the sea for your return…I shall be here waiting.
All of my love is sent along with these words, Stefan
PS. Today I have contacted a broker to put the house and studio on the market… I shall write more as soon as I post this to you.