Loading...“You are behaving like a spoilt brat, Gareth.”
“Am I really? Perhaps I have good grounds,” Gareth retaliated as he continued to pace.
“Getting a new Anaesthetist is hardly the end of the world. You managed before Ed and you manage when on shift with the others.”
“Managing and working well are two different things entirely, Shirley.”
“I wonder if it’s not more the fact that Vivyan was already selected before you even knew Ed was leaving. He hardly spoke to you the last couple of months. I had no idea he had so much leave banked up. No wonder you didn’t know he had resigned until too late. It’s a shame,” Shirley sighed. ” I thought you two made a good couple.”
“Shirley, please,” Gareth hissed. “I don’t advertise my preferences. You know that.”
The Nurse Manager narrowed her eyes as the man she considered to be a talented Surgeon and a good friend continued to pace. One of Gareth’s undeniable flaws was his determination no one should know he was gay. For almost a year she had known about Gareth and Ed, the effervescent Anaesthetist and the taciturn Surgeon never openly a couple.
Not that it was her place to tell Gareth, but Ed had become tired of being Gareth’s secret lover; only spending nights together in hotels, only ever being known as ‘My friend and work colleague Dr Barker’. Two months previously Ed had called in all of the leave he was owed and gone away after breaking off whatever his relationship with Gareth could be called. Gareth had reacted characteristically by storming around like a bear with a sore head. He had waited a couple of weeks without hearing from the younger man and then called in leave of his own.
Before beginning his leave, Ed had secretly submitted a resignation, allowing the hospital to advertise for his replacement immediately. Several applications had been received and a new Anaesthetist interviewed and given a start date. Everything all done and dusted while Gareth had been away. Shirley knew the older man disliked change. She also knew he missed his younger…She sighed. She had no idea what Ed had really been to Gareth.
For that matter neither had the younger man as Shirley was well aware. Finally tired by the secrecy and lack of commitment, Ed had done the only thing he felt able to do. Cut his losses and moved on. He had made an appearance at a leaving party she had thrown for him. Shirley remembered the stunned look on Gareth’s face. He had seen the blond with his arm around the waist of an older man, clearly happy, as he had gazed adoringly into eyes that held a mix of love and awe. She was as happy for Ed finding his Mr. Right as she was sorry for Gareth that he was still alone.
She could appreciate Gareth wanting to keep his private life private, but to have kept Ed such a secret she felt had been unfair to the younger man. There was no need to have been blatant about their relationship. It was no one else’s business, but Gareth was cautious to the point of paranoiac that his sexuality would become public knowledge and his hard-earned reputation as a Surgeon ruined. Shirley was certain nothing would happen, but her assurances fell on deaf ears. There was little more she could do. Gareth had to accept he was going to have a new work colleague to deal with…and a lonely life ahead of him.
****
Gareth had purposely avoided anything to do with the imminent arrival of the newest addition to the hospital’s team. However, he would not be so churlish as to decline an invitation from the Head of Surgery to attend a welcoming party for Vivyan so that everyone could meet in a relaxed social setting.
He meandered around the guests, nodding at some, stopping to exchange a few words with others, before easing himself into the extensive gardens. He took a deep breath, running his hands through his sandy-brown locks. He was no real catch and he knew it. In a way he was surprised that Ed had ever been attracted to him. He was tall, but rangy, never having filled out to any great breadth. His hair was always unruly and his eyes a blue-green that really seemed completely none-descript. He hated small talk and found it hard to mix socially.
It was his pride that he had been so successful in obtaining a place in Medical School. His parents, and he, had scrimped, saved and worked long, hard hours, to ensure his fees could be paid. He had ensured that once he was earning good money, his parents’ mortgage had been paid off and they could enjoy their life. However, it seemed he was not destined to share the same happiness that a close relationship would bring.
Gareth had seen one promising young man’s career almost derailed when allegations of his being gay had surfaced. He had no desire to fall prey to the same scenario. His private life was almost in a closed vault. He was reluctant to make close friends, he rarely went to social gatherings and his relationship with Ed had been the one shining light in an otherwise cold and drab existence. He had no idea how to change or even if it was what he wanted any more.
Then his maudlin thoughts instantly evaporated at the sight coming towards him. Chocolate-hued tresses meandered down to frame a face of exquisite beauty. Lush dark eyes, holding a hint of amusement, regarded him with equal interest…or so it seemed. He watched enthralled as the full, pink lips curled into a smile.
“Do you always take refuge in the garden?” The question was asked in soft tones, as if speaking to a co-conspirator.
“Quite often,” Gareth replied, returning the smile.
“I’m glad. Although I know I have to go in there soon.”
“Not too soon?” Gareth was amazed that the question fell so easily from his lips.
“No, not too soon,” came the laughing reply.
For the next couple of minutes, the couple conversed easily, Gareth forgetting his normal shyness that always made him appear so taciturn to those who did not know him. Then the camaraderie was shattered by a single word.
“Vivyan!”
Starting at the shout of the name, Gareth stared as the handsome male responded with a roll of his eyes.
“You found me. I was just psyching myself up for the great round of introductions. I found that when I saw Gareth I recognised him immediately. Ed described you perfectly. He told me a lot about you and him.”
Blinking, Gareth stood and watched as Vivyan was swept from his side by his Departmental Director. ‘He told me a lot about you and him’. The words echoed in Gareth’s mind. Was that why Vivyan had approached him? Had Ed spoken about their relationship? Part of him feared to find out, but another, deeper, hungrier part wanted to find that it was true. More, it hoped to find that the dark-haired, alluringly attractive, young man wanted something more than friendship.
He needed to think.
****
As the first couple of weeks went by, Gareth became increasingly convinced that Vivyan and Ed had indeed discussed him at length. Vivyan seemed to be able to anticipate his every need in the operating room and the lush eyes seemed to hold unspoken promise and desire whenever they locked gazes unseen by others.
He had planned this evening meticulously. He had selected a five star hotel. It was not one he had taken Ed to. In deference to the fact that he had never openly acknowledged his relationship with Ed, he had always chosen a four or five star hotel in which to spend the night. At first Ed had been thrilled by the experience, but if Gareth was honest with himself, he had known the novelty had worn off within a few months. Particularly when the younger man had come to realise that this was the only way he would spend a night with Gareth.
He picked a suite, rather than just a room. He could afford it. He had booked a table for two in the hotel restaurant, ensuring it was discreetly situated. Vivyan had accepted his invitation for dinner and drinks. They would have the meal in the restaurant and then retire to his suite. He glanced around the comfortable lounge. A bottle of Bollinger and two champagne flutes were encased in an ice bucket. There was a second bottle in ice in the bedroom. Since Ed and Vivyan had discussed him, the beautiful brunette would know exactly what Gareth would expect from their relationship. He felt his shaft thicken at the thought of the slender man spreading his legs in invitation.
Perhaps one day he could be open about his sexuality, but not for a few more years. Not yet.
****
As they sat and chatted, Gareth could feel his erection strain against his zipper. The sight, sound and scent of the younger man was feeding his arousal and desire even more sumptuously than the food and wine fed his physical appetite. Fleeting caresses of fingers made his sex throb and Gareth knew he had never felt this level of connection with another before, not even Ed.
“Would you like to come to my room for a nightcap?” he smiled at Vivyan.
“Love to,” the brunette replied.
As the champagne was consumed, the intimacy grew. Firstly, fleeting caresses of fingertips as if testing the waters. Then stroking of face, shoulders…then kissing. Chaste brushes of lips becoming deeper, wetter, more demanding. Shirt buttons mysteriously opened and hands found bare skin and begging nipples.
There was nothing hesitant about the next kiss. Gareth knew what he wanted and took it. His tongue snaked its way into Vivyan’s mouth and his arms went around the other man’s slender waist, pulling their bodies flush together. He gave a mental grin as the brunette moaned into the kiss, winding his arms around Gareth’s neck. Their tongues found a perfect rhythm and their bodies fit together seamlessly.
“Bedroom?” Gareth rasped as he panted in the aftermath of the searing kiss.
“Yes,” Vivyan husked.
The bare skin of their upper bodies pressed together as they meandered to the bedroom. Vivyan was lost in the eroticism of Gareth’s furred chest rubbing against his already highly-sensitised nipples. As they reached the doorway, he was pressed against the wall with Gareth’s thigh between his legs and he could not help but rub his aching length against its solidity. As Gareth kissed him again, Vivyan moaned and pushed his hips restlessly against Gareth’s leg.
As they entered the room, Gareth’s hands went to his waistband. He flipped open the button and then slowly pulled the zipper down, deliberately teasing his soon-to-be lover. He watched as Vivyan whimpered, reaching down to rub at the bulge tenting the grey slacks he wore. Gareth’s eyes were riveted to Vivyan’s hand, following its every move as he pushed his pants and briefs down in one move. His eager flesh sprang free, curling towards his stomach, long, thick and already glistening with pre-come.
Vivyan began to undress with shaky hands as Gareth stroked himself slowly. Unintentionally he partially tuned away from the older man as he bent forward to remove his pants. He grinned as he heard Gareth moan. He straightened slowly, caressing himself. He laughed as Gareth pounced, steering both of them onto the bed in a tangled heap with the taller man on top. Vivyan found himself with a pillow under his head and Gareth between his spread legs. The brunette groaned, arching his back to rub against the older man.
Bending down, Gareth kissed Vivyan again, moaning into the brunette’s mouth as arms and legs came to wrap around him. He broke the kiss only to start kissing a trail down Vivyan’s body, stopping to nip at an erect nipple. He heard the choked sound from the brunette’s throat.
“Gareth,” Vivyan gasped. “I’m so close.”
Lifting his head, Gareth licked a finger and teased Vivyan’s defenceless nipple. He used just the barest of touches and then pinched both peaked nubs. He grinned as Vivyan came, a soft cry on his kiss-swollen lips as his seed splashed hotly against both men’s bodies.
“You’re beautiful when you come,” Gareth said, his voice tinged with awe. He reached to where he had left condoms and lube.
Vivyan frowned. He was not sure how he felt that the supplies were so handy. It was something to discuss later, but for now he could hardly complain when he wanted to make love with the attractive, older man and had no such supplies himself.
Gareth put a condom beside Vivyan on the bed and poured some lube onto his fingers, getting them slick. He reached down between lithe legs and the brunette spread them further to give him better access. He heard a soft moan when his fingers found Vivyan’s tight entrance and circled it predatorily. He teased across the tightly-furled entrance, pressing gently and withdrawing, giving a feral smile as slender hips arched upwards as Vivyan sought to take the tantalising digits inside. A soft sigh accompanied the finger pressing inside tight heat. Taking the brunette’s lips in another breath-stealing kiss, Gareth replaced one finger with two.
Groaning, Vivyan felt his shaft slowly resurrect. He rubbed against Gareth as they kissed. He watched as Gareth added more lube to his fingers and then delved inside him with three. He felt the initial, uncomfortable fullness, then Gareth crooked his fingers and he forgot all else. White-hot pleasure surged through his body and he arched off the bed with a cry.
“You like that?” Gareth queried, knowing full well his lover had. The reaction had been electric. He could only imagine how hitting Vivyan’s sweet spot when inside him would feel. The brunette was incredibly responsive.
“Yes,” Vivyan panted.
The older man was diligent in his preparations, ensuring the brunette was adequately stretched and slick. He occasionally brushed over his prostate to keep Vivyan’s arousal at an almost fevered pitch. Once satisfied he could do no more to prepare the slender male, he pulled on a condom and lubed it, spreading Vivyan’s legs wider to accommodate his body. He positioned himself at the portal that glistened so enticingly. He claimed his lover’s lips in a searing kiss as he slowly pushed in until fully sheathed.
“Are you okay?” he asked, waiting for the younger man to let him know he could move.
Vivyan nodded, shifted his hips and groaned when pleasure surged through him.
“You can move,” he assured, smiling.
As Gareth began a gentle rocking motion, Vivyan pulled him into another kiss. Their tongues danced while he relaxed around the desired intrusion. When the older man started to thrust in deep, even strokes, hitting the brunette’s sweet spot repeatedly, it made Vivyan man moan deliriously. He ran his hands over Gareth’s body, learning the texture of unknown skin and the strong muscle beneath. He relished the groan as he found and tugged Gareth’s helpless nipples.
The older man sped up the force of his thrusts when Vivyan found his nipples and pinched them. He reached between their heated bodies and grasped Vivyan’s neglected shaft, pumping it with firm, sure strokes. He bent down to kiss the brunette, pulling on his lover’s hard, hot rod in time with his thrusts. Vivyan’s head began to thrash from side to side.
“Close, close,” Vivyan chanted. It was all his pleasure-fogged brain could manage.
In response Gareth gave a couple of hard, deep thrusts before he buried himself to the hilt inside Vivyan groaning loudly as his orgasm crashed through him. His seed jettisoned freely, filling the latex sheath that separated them.
It was all Vivyan needed. As he felt Gareth coming inside him he gave an inarticulate cry. His back arched as his over-stimulated shaft spilt wetly over Gareth’s hand.
For long moments the men lay simply recovering from their intense releases. Gareth moved first, easing himself from the brunette and quickly disposing of the condom. He ambled into the bathroom and washed himself thoroughly. He came back to stand in the bedroom door, a towel wrapped casually around his waist.
“Bathroom’s yours,” he said conversationally. “In the morning I’ll order Room Service and then you can leave before me.” Even as he finished speaking, Gareth felt the temperature in the room drop several degrees.
“Excuse me?” came the chill voice. “Am I to understand you don’t want to be seen leaving with me?”
“You know you can’t,” Gareth blurted. “You said Ed had talked you about me. Surely he explained…” A choked sound from Vivyan’s lips stopped Gareth’s words and he stared as the younger man drew up the covers as if trying to shield himself.
“Ed and I discussed you, yes. He told me what you would expect of his Anaesthetist.”
Gareth stared as Vivyan’s already pale face turned several shades paler.
“It was you. I don’t believe it. You were the one who broke his heart. To think I was so excited at the prospect of working with you.”
The laugh was a sharp, brittle sound, with almost an edge of hysteria, and it seemed to pierce Gareth’s heart. He watched, unable to move, as Vivyan abandoned the bed.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he said desperately. “Ed left me.”
“He left because it was breaking his heart, being treated like some kind of dark secret you were ashamed to be seen with in the light of day. He told me he was leaving and why and I immediately put in for the post. He never said you were the man who had treated him so badly.” Vivyan was now almost fully dressed and heading to collect his shirt and jacket. He stopped to look back at Gareth, clearly trying to keep his emotions under control. “I can’t leave for at least six months. In the meantime I will do my job and be completely professional. I expect nothing less from you. I don’t want to talk to you or see you other than in regard to cases and patients.”
The front door closed behind the departing brunette. There was no dramatic slamming, despite Vivyan being clearly distraught. It was the quietness, the deliberateness, the finality of the action that seemed to send the icy tendrils throughout Gareth’s frame. He was suddenly so chilled he began to shiver. Ignoring the iced champagne, he hurried to the mini bar and pulled out the whisky he found. Not caring of its make or vintage, he poured it into a glass and tossed back half of its contents in one swallow.
Tears sprang to his eyes and he coughed, the burn not really affording him the warmth he sought. He sipped at the amber liquid again. Was that really how Ed had felt? That Gareth had been ashamed to be seen with him. He finished the drink and headed towards his bedroom. He stopped at the doorway and stared inside. The sight of the rumpled bed instantly brought back the memory of Vivyan writhing beneath him and the pleasure they had shared. He grabbed a pillow and the top cover and turned back into the living room.
He settled himself on the oversized settee. As upset as he had been when Ed had refused to see him again, it had no comparison to the pain or the emptiness he currently felt. How did Vivyan get in so deep so fast? The question spun around in his brain, but there were no answers. He would have to wait and see what happened when they next met.
****
“What do you mean Vivyan won’t be my Anaesthetist?” growled Gareth angrily. He could not believe that he would not see the younger man. He had carefully rehearsed a speech for their meeting.
“Exactly that, Gareth,” Shirley growled back. “He came in and swapped his next two rosters where he was due to work with you. It will be another three weeks before he’s scheduled to partner you again. You’re just going to have to work with Mike. What’s the problem? You’ve worked with him before.”
“Nothing,” Gareth snapped. A part of him was trying to believe Vivyan was being petty by changing his shifts, but another reminded him that the brunette had been genuinely upset when…last time he saw him. Gareth firmly shoved aside the vision of Vivyan in his bed. It was not something that would ever be repeated and that thought gave him a dull ache in his chest. “It’s nothing,” he repeated as Shirley stood, eyebrow quirked as if disbelieving him. “Personal,” he added.
“I’m sorry, Gareth,” she said. She read between the lines. Vivyan was not Ed. Either the attractive man had refused Gareth or was not willing to live in secrecy. Either way, she had briefly seen the pain and emptiness Gareth hid from other’s eyes. “Will you be alright to perform this session?” she asked, her professional persona coming to the fore. She had a list of patients for operations and she needed her Surgeon to be focused on them, not on himself.
“I’m fine. I’ll go find Mike. I have a couple of things to discuss with him.”
“Sure.” Shirley watched as Gareth strode away. There was nothing more she could do for him. This was something Gareth had to work out for himself.
****
Gareth stood outside the door of the Head of Surgery and took a fortifying breath. The request for the meeting had been formal and so Gareth knew it was not something insubstantial. This was no casual chat. He rapped smartly on the door and stepped inside at the invitation to enter.
The man who was effectively his Manager sat at a small, round table, rather than his imposing desk. That, at least, made Gareth feel a little better. He gave a nod of his head as the second seat at the table was indicated and he sat down. Grant Makelin was a well-respected Surgeon as well as a formidable one. He ran the surgical section of the Hospital with the same precision as his reputation as a Surgeon had been based on.
“Gareth,” Grant said in a low, bass voice. “Is there a problem I should know about?”
“Problem?” echoed Gareth. He stared blankly at Grant. He was not sure what the older man was alluding to.
“I have been approached by two separate individuals. In both cases they have voiced concerns regarding your behaviour. I felt it necessary to speak to you to clarify what’s going on.”
“Behaviour,” Gareth muttered.
“On the two recent occasions you have had Vivyan as your Anaesthetist you have all but ignored him. The atmosphere is strained and when you and he do communicate it’s as though neither of you want to be near one another. I can’t have that, Gareth.”
“Have you spoken to Vivyan?” Gareth snapped angrily.
“He came to me. He tendered his resignation. He has made it quite clear that he feels unable to work with you. I refused it and told him to take some time before coming back to me.” Grant held up a commanding hand, preventing Gareth from speaking while he finished. “He has nothing but admiration and respect for you as a Surgeon and was at great pains to say the problem lies with him. However, given the concerns raised to me, I’m not convinced he’s telling me everything, Gareth.”
“In what way?” he queried quietly, stunned at Grant’s words. Vivyan had said he would leave when they were last together, but Gareth had conveniently pushed those words aside.
“Do you have a problem with him because he’s gay?”
The question caught Gareth completely off balance. All he could do was sit and stare, his mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. Finally he managed to shake his head.
“Vivyan told me of his orientation as soon as we met,” Grant continued. “He turned down a bigger and better package from our rival Hospital to take up his appointment here and they would be only too willing to get him on their books even now. He doesn’t publicise his sexuality, but he wanted me to know. This Hospital has many talented people with varied sexualities and all are valuable and contribute to its smooth running. I was quite sure there would be no difficulties with the teams. Was I wrong?”
“I can assure you, Grant, that I have no problems whatsoever with Vivyan’s sexuality. None,” he added emphatically.
“Then I suggest you and Vivyan get together and sort out whatever this problem is. I don’t want to lose such a brilliant young Anaesthetist. I wasn’t pleased we lost Ed, he had a lot of promise, too.”
Shame suffused Gareth’s body. He was the cause of losing Ed and now Vivyan could be next.
“As I said, Grant,” Gareth said, taking a deep breath and swallowing past the nervous dryness in his throat. “I have no problems with Vivyan’s sexuality. I’m gay, too.” He met the stare levelly as if Grant was looking into his soul.
“I see,” the older man finally said. “Then the issue is entirely personal.”
“It is and it’s my fault,” Gareth said. “I’ll sort it.”
“I’m glad to hear it, Gareth,” Grant nodded. “Keep me informed and I look forward to hearing good news soon.”
****
Pacing the floor of his home, Gareth tried to come up with the right way of apologising to Vivyan. Everything he thought seemed trite. He did not want to phone the brunette, but was afraid that if he called round in person he would be rebuffed. Work seemed the likely place as Vivyan was a consummate professional, but it seemed too impersonal. He sighed. He had never been in this position and he had no idea just what to do or say.
With a sigh he headed to his bedroom and flopped on the bed. Everything seemed to circle around and nothing would coalesce into cohesive thought. He had never felt so helpless in his life.
****
It was getting to the end of his on call duty and Gareth would be glad to go home and relax. He still had no idea how to approach Vivyan and it seemed to consume every minute of his time when his mind was not otherwise engaged. He glanced up as a Nurse came running to the door.
“We have an incoming emergency, Doctor,” he said breathlessly. “Car accident, one badly hurt.”
“On my way,” Gareth responded instantly, his professional persona immediately taking over. He headed to the Operating Room that the emergency would be brought to. He donned his scrubs and began the process of preparing himself.
“What do we have?” he asked the younger doctor assisting him.
“Looks like a ruptured spleen. The patient is young and fit by all accounts. He stands a good chance.”
Gareth ran his eyes over the information about the patient awaiting his attention. The date of birth was eerily familiar. He moved to the operating room and stared. He could see the lush brunette hair being tucked hurriedly into a cap and he staggered slightly.
“It’s such a shame isn’t it?” one of the Nurses’ voices reached his ear.
“Vivyan,” Gareth husked. He could not do this if it was the younger man on the table.
“Sorry, Gareth, Vivyan’s not on call today. It’s me Michael,” the Anaesthetist said. “Shame about this young man. Drunk driver jumped a red light. Smashed into the passenger side. Driver’s outside unhurt, but this is his partner so he’s pretty upset. The rest of the family’s there, too”
Not Vivyan. Not Vivyan. As he chanted the mantra in his mind, Gareth came to stare into the pale, lax face. No, it was not Vivyan. He was someone’s son, someone’s partner and Gareth determined that the young man, so eerily similar to Vivyan was going to make it. He would not let a young life and love be snuffed out by someone’s selfish carelessness.
Gareth applied every ounce of his skill into his work. There was one moment when the young man’s heart began to beat erratically and then it settled to a silent prayer and sigh of gratitude from all who worked around him. Finally Gareth was able to close up the wound and indicate the patient could be moved into post-operative care.
Despite feeling drained, he insisted on going to speak to the relatives that waited anxiously. He stared at the sight of the group. Two sets of parents were obvious, along with some younger people. However, the man who came towards him with wide, frightened eyes was not a stranger. It was Matthew Turner and Gareth knew him as a well-respected barrister. He had even played cards with him. This was the young man’s partner?
“Gareth?” the voice croaked from tears still falling. “Is he…?”
“He’s come through well enough,” Gareth said, squeezing the other man’s shoulder. “As I understand he’s quite fit.”
“He runs. Never saw the attraction in it myself. So he’s going to be alright?” The hope, the plea was unmistakeable.
“There’s no reason to think other than he’ll make a full recovery in time. He’s in Post-op now and then he’s going into the High Dependency. He’s been through quite an ordeal so we’ll make sure he gets plenty of care.”
“He’s my world, Gareth,” Matthew said. “My everything. I love him. I don’t know what I’d do…”
“Don’t even think it, Matthew,” Gareth said. He came through the hardest part. Now we need to let his body start to recover.”
“Can I see him, Gareth, please? Just for a minute?” the other man pleaded.
“Not now. Not while he’s in Post-op. I’ll have a word with the Nurses. When he’s been moved into High Dependency you can pop in and see him. But remember, he’s had a serious accident and come through surgery. He won’t look a pretty sight,” Gareth added warningly.
“If he’s alive and breathing he’ll be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Matthew said, his tone heartfelt.
****
Gareth remained on hand for the rest of the night, checking on his patient and reassuring the anxious family. The young man, Leyton, was recovering well. Gareth was certain that he would soon be able to move him to a room where Matthew would be able to sit with him without a plethora of wires and tubes frightening the older man.
Once that was done, Gareth would normally go home to sleep it all off, but not this time. When he had thought it was Vivyan on the bed his heart had almost stopped. He would not let an unnecessary moment pass where he did not speak to the younger man, beg his forgiveness and see if Vivyan would give him a second chance.
****
With a soft groan Vivyan rose to answer the insistent ringing of his doorbell. Whoever it was seemed to have no intention of leaving. Vivyan had been sleeping badly since the incident with Gareth and was taking every opportunity to try and catch up on missed rest that he could.
“I’m coming,” he growled grumpily, aware that his visitor could not hear him, but feeling better for saying it anyway.
The words died on his tongue as he saw Gareth and the way the older man looked. He barely had time to register the dark shadows under Gareth’s eyes when he was swept into the other man’s arms. As his body was held tightly, Vivyan could feel the shakes and the tears. Not knowing what else to do he managed to pull the door closed and guided the older man into his lounge.
With a gasp he dropped down onto his couch, Gareth following him down. He managed to wriggle to lie with the older man between his legs, his face buried in the junction of Vivyan’s neck and shoulder. Not knowing the cause of such evident distress, Vivyan held tightly to Gareth and waited for him to calm down.
It took several long minutes before Vivyan realised that he could no longer feel the shaking or the muffled sobs.
“Can you talk to me now, Gareth?” he asked. “I need to know if you’re alright.” He felt the older man move his face from his shoulder.
“There was an accident. Car accident. Emergency operation,” Gareth whispered.
“Oh, Gareth,” Vivyan said sympathetically. “Did you lose the patient?”
“No. No he should recover. But he had your birthday, your hair.” Gareth lifted his face to gaze into that of the younger man. “I thought it was you.”
“I’m here. I’m fine,” Vivyan assured. He could see just how profoundly that thought affected the older man and a glimmer of hope started to take root in his heart.
“I thought I’d lost you forever. I thought I’d never get the opportunity to beg for your forgiveness. Please, Vivyan. Can we start over?”
“Gareth, I can’t be a secret,” Vivyan sighed, even as his hand stroked Gareth’s face in an intimate and tender gesture.
“I’ve already told Grant I’m gay,” Gareth said, searching the exquisite visage hopefully. I was so wrapped up in me that I never thought about the needs and wants of the other person. I lost Ed, but he found the right man for him. What I felt for Ed is like a candle to a flame for the way I feel about you. Can you give me another chance? Can you let me make it up to you? Please, Vivyan. When I saw that young man on the table earlier…”
“Gareth, it’s a big step,” Vivyan hedged. His head cautioned no, but his heart was already swelling.
“I understand and I will need you to be patient with me. Can we put it behind us? Let the bad go?” Gareth pleaded, sliding off the couch to kneel between Vivyan’s feet.
With a sigh Vivyan looked down and stared into the anxiously hopeful face. He could see now that Gareth looked really tired; dark smudges under his eyes, new lines in his face, and a slight gauntness to his cheeks. However his eyes were afire with hope and another emotion that Vivyan was almost afraid to name.
“I realise now just how much you mean to me and I just hope that I haven’t screwed things up so badly that you won’t give me a second chance.”
The sincerity behind Gareth’s words caused the small shoot of hope in Vivyan’s heart to blossom. With a small cry he threw himself into the older man’s surprised arms. Gareth gave a sound of shock as he caught the younger man, but he did not let him go. When Vivyan’s eager mouth sought out his own, he was quick and anxious to respond.
All the passion he had been repressing for years finally escaped as Gareth devoured Vivyan’s mouth. He marked every niche and crevice with his own taste, claiming Vivyan as his. His tongue slid back and forth, stroking Vivyan’s and the brunette responded every bit as passionately, clinging to the older man. A low moan rose into the air and Gareth had no idea whether it had been one or the other of them, or even a joint sound of need and want.
Then his hands were exploring, sliding beneath the soft, plain cotton t-shirt Vivyan wore. They found the smooth, warm skin beneath. His hands moved upwards, stroking the younger man’s back before sliding round. They moved upwards again, over a toned abdomen to find already hardened nipples. He took hold of both and pinched gently, making Vivyan buck against him. The soft cry was swallowed by Gareth’s mouth sealing over his lover’s.
As he moaned into his lover’s mouth, Vivyan’s hands burrowed under Gareth’s shirt. He hastily flicked at buttons needing to touch the older man’s chest, bending down to suckle at one peaked nipple and then the other. The same passion he had felt the first time they had made love reignited instantaneously. He needed much more.
“Gareth?” he queried, panting as he caught his breath. He locked his gaze with the older man. “I want to make love.”
Gareth stared at the man in his arms, scarcely daring to breathe in case this was just another dream. Already Vivyan was a walking invitation to sin as Gareth’s eyes roved over the younger man to see kiss-swollen lips, flushed face, dishevelled hair and his t-shirt pushed up enough to bare the slender torso. Gareth knew that he had never seen anyone more beautiful. He also knew something else; something of incredible importance and enlightenment.
“I love you,” he whispered. He felt a tsunami of joy wash over him as Vivyan’s eyes alighted with happiness. “I want to make love to you, too, Vivyan. Really make love.”
Slowly the two men rose. Gareth’s hand was enfolded in Vivyan’s and the younger man began leading him to the stairs. Gareth went eagerly, a part of him still afraid that this was just a dream, the other part giving silent thanks for the generosity of Vivyan’s heart. As they entered the bedroom he pulled the younger man to him, took hold of his t-shirt and pulled it over Vivyan’s head. His lips found the nipples he had teased earlier and he suckled needily to soft moans.
“You, naked, now,” he growled, his own desire being fanned as Vivyan shivered in response.
They watched one another as clothes were removed and dropped carelessly to the floor, until both were naked and vulnerable before each other. Both men’s shafts stood proud and firm, glistening wetly with pre-come. Both were in the tenacious, sensual grip of desire and their hard flesh stood silently proclaiming that desire. In an unconscious synchronised movement they moved towards each other. When naked flesh finally touched naked flesh, the barely-controlled desire flared through their bodies leaving heat, want and need in its wake.
Gareth groaned as his hard shaft pressed into Vivyan’s smooth abdomen and Vivyan’s desire rubbed against his hip. He possessed Vivyan’s lips intent on proving his love and giving as much pleasure as possible to the man in his arms. One hand cupped the base of Vivyan’s skull while the other moved to clasp to a taut buttock, squeezing, signalling his desire and an almost primal need to prove ownership. As Vivyan moaned and bucked, rubbing against Gareth, the older man moved forwards, forcing Vivyan back towards the bed. When Vivyan’s knees connected with it he sank down and Gareth followed him covering the younger man’s body with his own.
They moved to get comfortable, Gareth careful to keep his full weight from crushing Vivyan but immediately moving proprietarily between satin-smooth spread thighs. He rested most of his weight on his arms which framed Vivyan’s head and shoulders. Their groins were pressed deliciously together and they instinctively began to thrust. Their mouths melded in heat and love, tongues, twining and teasing in imitation of a dance yet to come.
“Wait,” Gareth said as he broke reluctantly from the sweetness of Vivyan’s lush mouth. “Lube, condoms,” he husked.
“I have lube,” Vivyan whispered,” but no condoms. I…I wasn’t dating anyone. I am clean. I was tested just before I came here,” he added staring deeply into Gareth’s eyes.
“I get regular tests and have never been unprotected. Are you sure, Vivyan, because I’d love to be bareback inside you?”
“I trust you, Gareth. I love you.”
“I love you,” Gareth groaned. He began to flutter kisses on Vivyan’s face, neck, and shoulders and down to the smooth chest. Glancing up, he saw Vivyan smiling at him, the dark eyes glowing with love and passion. His lips moved to a nipple to a soft groan and a subtle arching of his lover’s body as gentle hands stroked over his back and shoulders.
He gently laved the tight nub, relishing soft moans of pleasure and then moved to the other nipple to give it the same attention. He began to suckle and Vivyan arched higher which allowed Gareth’s arms to move under his lover and pull him closer. He made love to Vivyan’ nipples feeling the lithe body writhe in his arms, listening to breathy sighs. Finally he needed to move lower and his tongue dipped into Vivyan’s navel, soft, breathy laughter like music to his ears.
He licked his lips as he finally reached the hard, glistening column of flesh that lay red and eager against Vivyan’s belly. He lightly stroked the base as he slowly took the head into his mouth, letting the taste of his lover explode on his tongue. He licked at the glans, probing at the slit, drinking all Vivyan could offer. He relaxed his throat and took Vivyan in a little at a time. His nose pressed against dark, tight curls, scented with musk and pre-come as he took the whole organ in his mouth to a cry of his name. Then he moved his head up and down, cupping Vivyan’s buttocks in his hand to pull him closer.
Every inch of hard flesh was reverently explored. Delicate licks to the sensitised head, firmer strokes along its engorged length and a tongue bath to sensitive testes. His tongue then slid sinuously along Vivyan’s perineum and Gareth pulled the globes in his hand as far apart as possible, opening his lover’s secret entrance. He tongued the tight rosette, relishing each soft cry of delight that fell from Vivyan’s lips. The older man made love assiduously with his hands and mouth, his caresses firmer, his grip tighter, more assured of what his lover wanted and needed.
Satisfied with the continually writhing and moaning, Gareth relinquished the hard shaft and licked lower once again. He licked over the furled flesh hearing a gasp and cry of his name. He gripped Vivyan’s hips, draping the younger man’s legs over his shoulders and began to tease the tight opening. Darting little licks were followed by long, wet laves of his tongue.
Finally both men groaned as his tongue breeched Vivyan’s defences and slid inside. He thrust inside again and again, relishing Vivyan’s pleas and cries of unbridled passion until sight scent, taste, touch and sound were all filled by his lover.
His hand fumbled for the lube Vivyan had placed on the bed. A frantic nod met his questioning gaze. He coated his fingers and rebalanced his weight as his hand slid between Vivyan’s legs, trailing cool, slick fingers over hot, firm flesh, down to the full sac and finally the hidden entrance to Vivyan’s core. He stroked over the saliva-slick portal until it flexed its invitation and he slid the finger inside tight, grasping heat.
As his finger stroked Vivyan Gareth began to worship Vivyan with his mouth. Kisses, licks and teasing bites were scattered across the younger man’s torso. He was rewarded by more of the writhing and moaning to which he knew he was already addicted. Gareth engulfed his lover’s shaft once more and began a rhythm that had Vivyan moaning his name, the brunette’s head thrashing helplessly and his hands alternating between clutching at the bedding and Gareth’s hair.
Swallowing his lover to the root once more, Gareth then scraped along his length with his teeth. Releasing the throbbing organ, he mouthed at Vivyan’s sac before sucking each orb into his mouth, rolling it carefully as he thrust two fingers rhythmically in and out of his lover’s body.
Sliding his fingers inside Vivyan he found the hidden nub and stroked across it. His lover gave a sensual sound of pleasure and his hips jerked, taking Gareth’s fingers deeper into his body. As Gareth flickered his tongue over the head of Vivyan’s shaft and penetrated Vivyan’s body once more, scissoring his fingers, urging the tight straight to relax. Three fingers were accepted with a tiny sound of need and Gareth knew that Vivyan could not hold out any longer. He felt the tightening of the lithe body and sucked harder. With a cry of his name, his lover’s cream pulsed free. Gareth swallowed, drinking deeply, tasting each and every precious drop.
Only once he was absolutely certain that he had all Vivyan could offer did he ease his fingers from his lover’s body and allow the spent shaft to fall away from his mouth.
“Gareth,” Vivyan protested. “I wanted to come with you in me.”
“Don’t worry, love,” Gareth husked. “You will when I’m so deep inside you you’ll feel me touch your heart.”Gareth grinned wickedly at the groan from the younger man and the twitch from the damp flesh lying limply on Vivyan’s thigh. He pushed Vivyan’s thighs further apart before settling himself on his knees between them. He lubed himself slowly, urging Vivyan’s hands to join in the act, smiling as the younger man’s rod began to slowly resurrect. He let their joined hands guide his hard flesh to Vivyan’s aching void.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes, please, Gareth.”
Smiling, Gareth pushed forward. He watched to ensure he had prepared Vivyan enough, but there was only an answering smile on the younger man’s face. He groaned softly as he felt tight muscle squeezing his already eager rod, but he was determined that he and Vivyan would come together.
As Gareth entered him, Vivyan gave a small grunt as his body sought to stretch and accept the desired intrusion. He bore down and gave a small sound of triumph as the head of Gareth’s penis pushed past his defences. He felt the hard flesh sliding forward until it was buried halfway. He nodded at Gareth, glad for the temporary respite and then was ready to take all of his lover.
“More, Gareth,” he whispered. As Gareth slid in the rest of the way, they both groaned as his ballsac slapped lightly against Vivyan’s cheeks. Vivyan wrapped his legs around Gareth’s waist as the older man reached to entwine their fingers. They kissed slowly and deeply as Gareth began the smallest of undulations.
“I love you,” Gareth murmured, peppering kisses over Vivyan’s lips and cheeks.
“I love you, too,” Vivyan replied. “It feels wonderful, Gareth.”
“Good, because it’s about to get better,” Gareth said. He eased himself back before thrusting forward the head of his arousal hitting Vivyan’s prostate.
“Oh, Gareth, yes,” the brunette panted. Gareth thrusts were long, deep and slow, rubbing effortlessly across Vivyan’s sweet spot and leaving the younger man quivering in their wake. His hips lifted to meet each thrust and deepened his penetration. He could feel himself harden once more as Gareth pleasured him, made love with him.
“Gareth please, more,” he begged.
“Anything you want, love,” Gareth replied, his voice ragged with the control he maintained.
Gareth picked up his pace, his thrusts becoming short, jabbing motions that began to drive both Vivyan and himself wild. He could feel his orgasm approaching and knew he could no longer hold it back. He released one of Vivyan’s hands and brought it to the younger man’s shaft that had leaked pearly pre-come. He stroked the hard length, twisting his hand to heighten the sensations and, with a cry of completion, Vivyan’s second orgasm detonated. The scant drops of crème in no way reflected the intense climax and the younger man shuddered and jerked under Gareth’s body
The sensation of the pulsating shaft and the contractions around his rod were enough to shatter Gareth’s restraint. With a final few feral snaps of his hips, he buried himself as deep as possible, bellowing his release as his seed flooded the still-spasming channel. The ferocity of his climax temporarily turned his world gray.
As higher reasoning slowly returned, Gareth realised his hips were still making desultory thrusts. He also found that a deeply-buried, primitive part of him exulted in the knowledge that no other had done this before him. Only his seed had branded Vivyan’s inner walls, claiming the younger man as his. It had taken his mind some time to catch up with his heart and soul, but he now knew that Vivyan was his for life.
Gareth leant forward and placed a few gentle kisses against Vivyan’s slightly-lax mouth. With a sigh of satiation he gently withdrew his softened flesh, eliciting a small whimper from the man beneath him. Gareth kissed him again, rolling them onto their sides and pulling the younger man against him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Very ok, wonderful, blissed-out even,” Vivyan smiled.
“Good,” Gareth growled, nipping at the nearest bare shoulder to leave a more visible mark on his lover.
Vivyan shivered pleasurably, finding Gareth’s possessive, alpha display erotic. He nestled closer. He could feel Gareth’s mouth dropping kisses into his hair and his eyes closed.
****
Gareth carefully studied the limb before him, his fingers trailing from shoulder to finger. He made the same careful inventory of the other arm before venturing lower. The bare back was scrutinised and then both legs from hip to toe. He eased the unresisting body onto its back and inspected the chest with equal dedication.
“Do I pass, Doctor?” an amused voice asked. “Am I suitably sun-screened?”
“I’m not having my husband come to me on our Honeymoon and saying ‘Sorry, Dear, but I have sunburn tonight.'” Gareth growled, possessing Vivyan’s lush lips.
“So it’s ok to say I have a headache?” came the teasing rejoinder.
“I have plenty of painkillers, so that will not be a problem.”
“You know you didn’t have to do all this, Gareth,” Vivyan said softly, framing the older man’s face in his hands. “The wedding, the Honeymoon, they’re icing. Beautiful, but icing.”
“That’s why I wanted to do it, love. The whole nine yards, because you’re worth it to me. Because I love you.”
“I love you, Gareth.”
The two men kissed tenderly, picked up their beach bag and, hand-in-hand, stepped outside into the light of day. Sun and heat instantly assailed them as they began their Honeymoon. Gareth walked proudly, head held high with his beautiful husband on his arm for the world to see.