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So now you’re going to learn more about my life than you probably want to know. But that weekend with Grace and Kale was such a crazy couple of days, I had to write it down. Skip to the end for the sex, but if you really want to know what happened, read on. I just hope neither Kale nor Grace read this.

Things went from awesome to shitty so quickly after that Friday night it made my head spin. My physics breakthrough was still humming inside me like a power line, and Grace was…well she was awesome. As much as I hate the word, something about her was special. Maybe she even felt the same about me a little. I was afraid to even think it, but maybe I had found someone I could have a real relationship with. I have never had luck in that area, but it was impossible not to hope.

Then the shit hit the fan. Actually it was a shit-fan trifecta. It started with Kale.

She picked me up at Grace’s house and I loaded my bike and my shit into the back of her BMW wagon. I got in the car and she took off. She started asking about my thesis, and then she talked about girl’s night out, and then she looked at me and stopped talking. Then she said, “Kelly, you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

She just looked at me.

“What? Watch the road, will you? Jesus Christ!”

“Unbelievable. Unbelievable, Kelly. She is my friend!”

“Hey, whoa whoa, back the truck up…”

“How could you be that insensitive!”

“Hey! Now hold on just a second! She came on to me! And anyway it wasn’t like that, I really kind of…”

“I trusted you! I thought I knew you! I can not believe you did this!”

“Kale, will you shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second? I like her! A lot, maybe, I don’t…”

She pulled over, staring straight ahead. “You’re home. Get out of my car please.”

No sooner was I standing at the side of the road than she screeched off into the cold darkness, leaving me confused and upset. I went inside, emailed my findings to my thesis professor and tossed and turned for a few hours till my alarm went off.

I got up to swim, and then went to work for a few hours, seriously dragging ass, but still mostly happy in spite of Kale losing it on me. Then I got home and checked my email. My prof (not Kale, thank god, although she had hinted around at wanting the job) had emailed me back and pointed out a major problem. My models only dealt with particles in the known universe, but was affected by particles outside the universe. A huge oversight. Enormous, catastrophic, and utterly stupid. The entire paper, the entire concept, was scuttled. I was fucked. I lowered my forehead to the desk. Months of work. All those late nights. Everything I thought I knew. I am such an idiot. I should have been a philosophy major, they don’t do wrong answers.

And the worst was, I was so sure I had it right. How could I be that stupid? I’m not saying I cried, it is so not my thing, but if I did who would blame me?

I decided I needed to focus on something positive. Kale had given me Grace’s number when she set up the sitting gig, and I chewed my lip looking at her number. Then I dialed fast before I could chicken out.

“Hello?” Her voice is so pretty, I thought. I sound like a honking goose. Shut the fuck up Kelly. You’re just making yourself feel worse.

“Grace! Hi. It’s me. It’s Kelly.”

“Kelly? What do you want?”

What do I want? “Uh…nothing. I was just…”

“You’re unbelievable. You fucked me, tore out of here like a bat out of hell, and then you told one of my best friends about it. Are you calling to gloat? You wanted another ride on the merry-go-round? Well fuck you!”

“No! Grace! I…”

“I am not gay! Okay? I am 100% straight!” She was crying now. “I was hurting and you…you used me! And then you bragged about it! To my friend, Kelly. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Do you even care? You…you bitch!”

I was too stunned to speak.

She blew out a breath. “Why am I even wasting my time talking to you. Goodbye Kelly.” She hung up.

I blinked and then hung up the phone. I looked at my watch. It’s a heart rate monitor too, but I wasn’t wearing the chest strap. It said it was 1:33. So fifteen hours ago I was on top of the world. Now my life had turned into a pile of shit.

So I did what I always do when my life is shit. I skipped out on everything and went for a bike ride.

I work hard at swimming and running because I hate to lose, but those feel like work. Riding a bike is different. It’s work too, but it’s also rolling meditation. I’m thinking about where I am and the effort I’m putting in and what gear I’m in and where I’m going, but in the back of my mind I’m processing my life. I’m figuring shit out.

Two stops at coffee shops, four towns, four and a half hours and sixty miles later, I got off my bike and carried it up the steps to my apartment. I had reached three conclusions that made me somewhat feel better. I digested them while I took a nice, long, hot, shower.

First of all, the thesis wasn’t a total loss. I’d have to restructure my paper and change the main focus, which would require some help and flexibility from my professor, and there was a lot more work to be done. A fucking crapload more. But the models, research, and proofs I’d already done could be salvaged. Mostly.

Secondly, fuck Kale. What was it about flirting via text and meeting every three to five weeks to drink wine and fuck that meant we were in a monogamous relationship? That is fucking bullshit, especially since I know she’s been seeing guys in addition to me. She has no right or reason to get all up in my grille about whom I fuck and when. She can kiss my ass.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I had to apologize to Grace.

She was right about everything. I was totally rude and mean. I was so wound up about my thesis and so damn horny, I trampled all over her feelings like a bull in a field of clovers. She deserved better, and even if she hated my guts for the rest of her life, I owed her an apology. I had to be careful though. Her kids didn’t need some dyke calling and going, “tell your mom sorry for being callous before, but she sure can eat some pussy!” It had to be after they were in bed, in person. Sooner the better. Tonight.

So for the next few hours, I dissected my thesis, poring over it page by page. Now that I knew my mistake, it was so obvious where I’d gone wrong. I scrapped page after page, made notes of the mistakes in my models. And by the way, how the fuck do you model particle behavior in other universes?

Then it was time. I bundled up against the chill and got on my bike, heading across town, thinking about what I wanted to say to Grace. What if she wasn’t there? What if she was out with the man-trouble guy making up? What if her kids were up late? When I arrived, I sat outside Grace’s place for a few minutes, screwing my nerve together and trying to squash the miserable thing in my stomach. Then I locked my bike to a lamp post and knocked.

Grace answered the door. Jeans and a green cardigan, that thick, auburn hair washed and brushed, and a touch of makeup around her eyes. She was so out of my league, even if she wasn’t arrow straight. “Kelly,” she said coolly. “We were just talking about you. Come in.”

We? Oh this could not be good. At least she didn’t scream at me and send me away. Yet. I followed her inside. Even at that moment, I couldn’t help watching her ass as she walked into the living room.

And sitting on the overstuffed chair, there was Kale, legs crossed in a short skirt, gauzy blouse, and heels. The quintessential sexpot. She set her wine down, looking at me coolly. This just gets better and better, I thought. Grace sat down on the couch, the end nearest Kale, and crossed her legs. Stilletto heels and jeans. So fucking sexy. Dressed for going out, or maybe they’d come back already. It was nine pm.

Kale being there for me to be pissed at made it easier. “I was hoping to talk to you later,” I said in a surly tone. “I’m here to talk to Grace.”

Grace said, “Whatever you want to say to me, you can say to her too.”

Brilliant. Judge and jury, take your pick. I didn’t know what to say with both of them there, but started saying it anyway, but keeping my chin up and my chest out. “I’m sorry. I just came to say I’m sorry. I was distracted and elated and rushed yesterday, and you’re so beautiful, and I ran over your feelings like a train. I do know what it’s like to not be gay and yet want another woman. I went through that too, and it’s awful. I’m not saying you’re me, or that you’re gay or whatever, just that…I should have been more careful. Especially since…” in for an inch, in for a mile, “…I like you. I liked you as soon as I walked into your home. You’re warm and sweet and gentle, and I…didn’t mean to hurt or scare you or confuse you. I certainly didn’t mean to make you feel used.

“And I didn’t tell Kale. She guessed. She knew. She took one look at me and she knew, alright?” I looked back and forth between them as they looked at each other.

“And as for you, Kale. You don’t own me, and you certainly don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t sleep with. We’re not even in a real relationship. We’re fuck buddies, that’s all. If you think it’s more than that, we need to have a chat.” The two of them were still looking at each other. “That’s all I got. I’m out.” I shrugged and started to turn, feeling still not great, but a shitload better.

“Kelly, wait.” It was Kale. “See? I told you.”

I stopped. “Told her what?”

Kale said, “That I guessed what happened between you two, you didn’t tell me. That you’re a sweetheart under all the bluster, and that you probably felt terrible about how it all ended up with Grace. That you were trying to tell me you might even have feelings for her before I booted you out of my car.” She smiled. “Kelly, I wasn’t mad at you for betraying me. You’re absolutely right, we’re fuck buddies, and that’s all. I was mad at you for taking advantage of my friend who’s…had a tough week. I was shocked because you never seemed like you could be that cruel. When I realized what you were trying to tell me in the car, I called Grace.”

Grace was looking at me, studying me. I looked back. Whatever I was expecting tonight, this wasn’t it. I said, “Okay. So…hang on. This is a lot to digest. You’re not mad at me anymore, Kale?”


I looked at Grace. “Are you mad at me?”

She looked at her wine glass. “I don’t know. Yes. A little. Or not.” She forced a sweet smile. “I’m a bit of a mess right now, I’m afraid.”

“And…still…not gay?”

She shrugged as if she didn’t trust her voice. Her eyes were full of tears, but she was smiling that same sweetly forced smile. She looked at Kale. Kale raised her eyebrows a millimeter, a question. Grace nodded once, slightly. Assent. Kale looked at me and said, “Grace was in a bad place because, as you guessed, her whole self perception was upended because of you. When she was so drawn to you, she didn’t know how to handle it. And then when she felt she was a one night stand…she was crushed. Devastated, as well as lost. Not to mention her…man trouble.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Grace added. “I was peeking at you while you worked, trying to figure it out, and I can’t put it into words. You’re so pretty and graceful but so…confident. Or something. I don’t know. What does it mean? Who am I? I thought I knew.”

“I am so sorry,” I said softly, looking right at her. That was me six years ago, asking myself those same questions, and all those memories welled up inside. Crying is not my thing. I fucking hate it. But I’m still a girl, got stuck with the waterworks. I wiped my eyes. “I won’t apologize again though. Because it was…you are…incredible. Even if this is the end…I’m lucky.”

“Me too,” Grace said softly. “I don’t want it to be the end. Will you…sit with me?”

I did, and she pressed her cheek against my chest and wrapped her arms around me tight. I held her and pressed my lips the top of her head. Kale got up and went into the kitchen. “I’m sorry for hurting you,” I whispered.

Grace said, “I thought you were done apologizing.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Okay, now I really am done. Probably.” Kale came back with a glass of wine for me. She sat down next to me. I realized I owed Kale a major solid. I said to her, “Thanks for coming all the way out here to go to bat for me.”

“I didn’t.”

I was confused again. “But you said…” I shook my head. “Okay, so you’re here as a supportive friend?”

“Well, sort of. Grace invited me over as an…experiment. Talking about you sort of fell out of that.”


Still leaning on me, Grace said “I have been thinking about it constantly since you left. No, since you first showed up here. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I wanted…needed to know if it was just you or women in general. I knew Angela was bisexual, so I called her to try to, you know. Seduce me.”

Then I saw it. The way they were dressed. The wine. The low lights. I’d stumbled into it by accident. “Oh. Shit.” I had a random thought. “The kids?”

“With their father till tomorrow night.”

“Um, okay.” I said. “So…it’s going…well?”

Kale laughed. “We’re just getting started. So far no sparks, but it’s early.”

Okay. Awkward. My fuck buddy and my…well I guess my girlfriend (!!!), are playing a seduction game, and I’m the third wheel. Do I try to join? Put a stop to it? Watch? Leave? They’re dressed to the nines and I look, as usual, like a plumber. They’re clean and made up, and I have helmet hair and my twat probably smells like a fucking gym sock.

Then Grace kissed the side of my neck, a slow, lingering kiss. “It wasn’t working for me,” she whispered. “Now it is.” She raised her face, and I kissed her. Our tongues met, fencing as our lips moved together. Was she my girlfriend? Never really had one of those before. Her hand ran up the back of my head into my hair.

Only it wasn’t Grace’s hand. It was Kale’s. Grace’s hand was on my neck, and as I was wondering whether it was going to be okay with Grace, their hands touched each other, and Grace’s and my eyes opened at the same time.

My heart stopped for a year and a half. Then Grace’s eyes fluttered closed again, and she took Kale’s hand away from my hair, brought it down and pressed it on my tiny tit. Kale went to work, squeezing and kneading, giving the hard nipple a little squeeze. And then I felt her warm lips on my neck, her big, soft chest pressing against my back.

Kale lifted my shirt, pulling me away from Grace’s mouth. I raised my arms and she lifted it off me, baring my chest to Grace. Kale took both my tits in her hands, squeezing and caressing from behind. I moaned softly as she tugged my nipples. Grace watched Kale’s hands caressing me, and fuck I loved it, her face, her eyes watching me. I pulled Grace to my breast, and she kissed and nuzzled it, licking my nipple and Kale’s fingers. Behind me, Kale moaned. I craned my head around and pulled her mouth against mine. We shared a deep lingering kiss.

I could have gone like that for hours, but I slid off the couch onto the floor to kneel in front of Grace. Looking into her eyes, I slowly started to unbutton her cardigan. She wasn’t wearing anything under it, and her perfect round tits rose and fell with her breathing. I looked at Kale, and she took one side, I took the other. Grace arched her back, moaning. I flicked and teased her nipple, biting it gently, dragging my teeth over it. I know Kale had a magic mouth, so Grace had to be in heaven.

Still working on Grace’s tit, Kale shrugged out of her blouse and slid out of her skirt. While both of us kept sucking Grace’s tits, I started fingering that slut Kale from behind. I fingered her slow and easy, drew my finger out and stroked her clit softly, then back inside. We got into a rhythm, Kale’s ass bobbing up and down slowly.

After a little while Kale let go of Grace’s tit and leaned her head back. She was going to cum soon, I could tell. I moved back a bit to give Kale the attention she needed to get there. Grace watched me, totally ignoring Kale (who is fucking sexy as hell). Grace took in my face, my arm, my tits, my belly, as I made her friend cum all over my fingers. Kale wailed as I gave her clit a final pinch and a little twist, rolling it in my fingers and then letting go to push my fingers in as she came. Her pussy throbbed and pulsed on my fingers, her hands gripping the couch pillows as she shook and moaned.

Kale started to relax, and Grace took my hand from Kale’s crotch and rubbed the juicy fingers on her tits. She exhaled, inhaled and held it, looking so fucking sexy, and then again as my fingers passed over her nipple.

I unbuttoned her jeans, and she lifted up her ass. I tried to tug them off, but those fuckers were tight and I couldn’t get them past her ass. “No wonder you look so fucking good in these. They’re like paint.” Grace laughed and stood up. That helped. I pulled them down (with a lot of effort). She sat down and started to take off her stilettos so I could get her jeans off easier. I shook my head. “Those stay on. They look too fucking good.” I slid the jeans off over the shoes. She opened her legs for me, smiling slightly.

I’ve seen beautiful women before. Hell, Kale is beautiful. But Grace, sitting there on that couch, her couch and pillows with the warm colors, the cardigan unbuttoned and off one shoulder, her breasts bare and perfect with hard nipples, her thighs apart, pussy pink and aroused and wet with her clit standing out like an angry red bead, and those fucking stiletto heels, Grace was more than beautiful. But mostly her eyes, locked on me, big and brown, dark with want. I was her world at that moment. I was it, everything. Her life hinged on what I did.

Her pleasure, her body, were works of art. She was music and poetry written just for me in soft skin and wet hunger. I savored it, and then leaned in and kissed her thigh, then the other. I lifted them onto my shoulders, and leaned in.

I kissed around her pussy, slowly, teasing. She breathed out and in each time my lips brushed her skin. Kale crawled up on the couch and leaned in to Grace’s tit again, sucking it while squeezing its twin. Grace leaned back and moaned with pleasure.

I took my time, teasing her. Working my way in towards the epicenter of her pleasure. Brushing her lips with mine, running my hands over her thighs (and Kale’s ass and swollen cuntlips). Grace writhed, pressing against my mouth, but I drew away each time, not giving her the last bit she needed. She tried again, and I drew back, matching her thrust. The third time she gasped “Please,”

Her begging. More like it. I took her clit between my lips and sucked once, twice, three times. She arched her back and cried out, bucking, but I held on, my arms wrapped under her thighs, gently sucking, slowing the pressure till her body gradually quieted.

Kale pulled my head back and kissed my mouth, tasting Grace on my lips, licking her from my tongue. Her mouth felt so fucking good on mine, I devoured her. Grace slid off the couch and then someone was pulling down my jeans. The air hit my pussy and I realized I was fucking drenched all the way from the crack of my ass down my thighs.

I was kneeling now, with Kale’s mouth against mine, and Grace kneeling behind me. her body was pressed against me, those glorious tits against my back, her hands running over my aching tits, my belly, my pussy. It felt so fucking good. My whole body was lit up like a christmas tree. I was kissing Kale hard, and she was matching me. Grace’s hands ran over my body, driving me insane as she pressed her soft, warm body against me from behind. I could feel the hardness of her nipples and the brush of her pubic hair against my ass.

Grace’s fingertips left a trail of little electric bursts so acute they almost hurt, and each one sent a shock so strong it made my pussy clench. I was so wet, each time my cunt clenched it made a wet kissing sound, and I groaned. It was too intense. I was lost.

Grace’s fingers slid down my belly to my pussy, and she pulled my face away from Kale, who moved immediately to my titties. Grace started to finger me slowly with two fingers, brushing my clit with her fingers like a bow on the strings of a cello until there was an explosion of pleasure so intense, for a split second I was aware of every single nerve ending she had touched, bit, or licked. She held my face gently, looking into my eyes as I came. I don’t remember if I was loud or how I moved. All I remember as the pleasure faded to a warm glow is emerging backwards from her eyes, as if I’d been drawn in and then released.

And then there we were, a sweaty pile of panting sex, laying over each other. Grace was smiling at me, a warm secret smile. She was still wearing those stilettos, I could feel them down by my feet. Kale was playing with Grace’s hair. “Wow,” I whispered. Grace blushed a little but kept smiling. Kale giggled.

Kale said, “So you two are an item now? Is this the last hurrah? Do I need to find a new fuck buddy?”

Grace said, “Oh, I think I might lend her to you from time to time. But oh yes, she’s mine.”

“Wrong,” I said. “You’re mine.” She smiled.

So that’s where I’m ending it. I might write more about Grace, but I may not. Feels weird baring my shit here to complete strangers, but a lot of you have been very nice. And I do have an exhibitionist streak, so who the fuck knows what will be next?

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