Loading...This is my first attempt at writing an erotic story. Please rate it for me and leave feedback. It’s important to me to know what you thought of this story. Any comments on what I did wrong or things you may have enjoyed would be greatly appreciated. Your feedback will help me determine whether to keep writing or not. Anyone who emails me will receive a response if the request one. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the story.
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Made it through another day, I thought to myself as I slid my key into the lock and let myself in. Closing the door behind me I called out, “I’m home.” Nobody answered and I was greeted like I so often was since I was young, with complete and utter silence.
I took my shoes off and placed them in the closet. My head was spinning with thoughts of the day as I strolled through our living room and into the kitchen where I spotted a note on the table that read… “Gone out for the evening. Won’t be home till late so don’t wait up. Love, mom.”
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to spend so much time alone but tonight, after the day I’d had, I would welcome the peace and quiet with open arms. Looking up at the old clock on the kitchen wall I see that it’s almost 4 PM. I figured mom wouldn’t be home until midnight at the earliest, great I thought, 8 hours to myself and I’ll need all of them. I slid my backpack off the one shoulder I had it draped over and laid it on the table beside the note and grabbed a beer from the fridge. I twisted the cap off and downed it almost instantly. Partly due to the heat outside but mostly just trying to numb my mind. I wanted to check the answering machine for messages before I headed downstairs to my room. Or my fortress of solitude as I like to call it. I don’t know why I bother because the messages are never for me but I do it anyway. As I approached the cupboard where the machine was I saw what I expected, no messages.
I grabbed my bag again as well as a second bottle of beer from the fridge and took off for my room. Having my bedroom in the basement was a pain in the ass sometimes. Especially when I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I had to stumble all the way upstairs in the dark to do it. Overall though I loved the fact that my room was downstairs. I had the only room down here and that allowed for a lot more privacy then most of my friends got from their parents. Privacy has always been a big thing with me. I paid my mom some rent for the room and since she was hardly ever home it was kind of like having my own house anyway. The longer I stayed at home the more it allowed me to save up money to get out of this city that seemed like my own private prison sometimes. I figure I’m 19, almost 20, and ready to move on as soon as I can but college was eating up most of my spare money and that made it seem impossible at times, like I would be stuck here forever.
I opened the door to my room, walked in and closed it behind me. The days seemed to get harder all the time and today was the day I had been dreading for a long time now. It was harder for me to hide what I was feeling from the people I didn’t want to find out, and today they found out and revealed my secret to the world. It wasn’t the world so much that I cared about but one person in particular.
I decided to try my usual recipe for relaxation and getting my feelings out, music. I was hoping the beer would help relax me some as well. In my opinion, if there is a moment of silence in a day it should be promptly filled with music of some kind. I’m not even particular about what kind, and you could tell that simply by checking out my collection of cassettes and CDs. You would find anything from Elvis to my personal favorites Bon Jovi & Melissa Etheridge. What I played totally depended on my mood at the time.
Thumbing through my selection now I came to a stop on Melissa Etheridges’ first album and popped it into my disc player. I gave the volume dial a sharp turn to the right making it as loud as I could stand it and plopped down on my bed to think. I was thrilled that I could play my music as loud as I wanted since nobody was home except me. Stretched out on my bed with beer in hand, all I could think about was my friends and what had happened today. More like ex-friends now, I thought. One friend in particular was on my mind, my best friend of 8 years, Julia. I very seldom called her Julia though, to me she’s always been and always will be “Jewels”. Jewels seemed to be on my mind more and more this past year. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say every second I wasn’t with her, I was thinking about her. The song pounding from my stereo seemed to echo what I so often felt inside when it came to her….
…Cause if I can’t love you, I don’t want to love you. If I can’t hold you, I don’t wanna be thinkin’ of you. And if you don’t want me, I don’t want to want you. And if you won’t see me, I don’t know what to do. But oh, I’ll keep watching you…
Oh who am I kidding, I though to myself, she’s never going to feel the same way about me as I do about her. She’s got a boyfriend for gods sake. And a real jack-ass he his. I don’t know what she sees in him, she’s way to good for him. I wish she could see that, see herself like I see her.
I took another long, slow swig from the bottle in my hand praying that it would help get rid of what I was feeling or at least ease the knots in my stomach from the scene at school today. Laying there listening to the music that pounded through my room every word and note seemed to go right into my soul and spoke right to my heart. About 15 minutes passed by the time I took the last drink from my 2nd bottle, a bottle that would be my best friend tonight. I decided to have a nice long hot shower before heading to the fridge for the 3rd of what would be many drinks tonight. I was wishing we had something stronger then beer in the house but since it was all we had it would serve my purpose just fine. I grabbed my robe from my closet, turned off my stereo and took off for upstairs.
With my haste to get to the warmth of the shower and wash away some of my sorrows I turned to quickly from the stand where my stereo was and ran right into my dresser knocking a picture to the floor. “Son of a bitch!,” I cussed while grabbing my foot. I didn’t curse often, and never in front of my family except in cases like this. Pain always made me curse. I was still slightly annoyed at myself for walking into the dresser that had been in the same place for months now but I bent down to see just who’s picture I had sent tumbling to the soft red carpet that covered the floor of my room. It was favorite picture of Jewels.
Flashes of the day I had taken the picture came back to me. I’m sure it was a similar experience to the feeling that people get when they say during some moment of fear that “their lives flashed before their eyes.” The sudden surge of memories took me by surprise and it’s like I was there, living the moment all over again. I got light headed, maybe it was the memories or maybe it was the beer all I knew was I couldn’t stop remembering.
We had gone to the beach, just the 2 of us. In the picture the sun was setting behind her and I could see the fading sunlight and all it’s glorious colors reflecting off the water in the background. She looked absolutely radiant dressed in a simple white T-shirt and cutoff jean shorts that she had pulled on over top of her bathing suit. Her shoulder length dark brown hair blowing behind her slightly from the breeze as the night got cooler. And her smile, a smile that made my heart skip a beat every time I saw it. And eyes, oh my god her big brown eyes that were always filled with compassion. Eyes that I could get completely lost in. I could almost hear the roar of the waves crashing on the shore as I remembered that day.
That was the night that I realized I didn’t just love Jewels, but was in love with her. After I had taken the picture we sat down side by side, legs outstretched, on the beach to enjoy the rest of the sunset. Our shoulders were touching and I remember wanting to touch more then her shoulder. I wanted my best friend. I wanted to caress every part of her athletic body and kiss every inch of her smooth skin. I remember her shivering and even though I was cold as well, I offered her my jacket. She said she couldn’t take it because then I’d be cold and I reassured her that her warmth was more important to me then my own. She didn’t say a word but instead laid down on her side and placed her head in my lap like she was tired. Her hand was touching the side of my leg and I don’t know if she realized she was doing it or not, but her ran thumb in short strokes over and over again in the same spot on my leg. Her touch sent little electric like shocks through my body and I wondered now if she had noticed that day that my body had tensed a little. I took my jacket off and spread it over her upper body like a blanket. Before placing my hands back behind me again for balance, I stroked her hair a couple times and then we sat in silence for hours, just there together, like no words were needed.
Stop it, you can’t keep thinking about this. You can’t! , I told myself as a wiped the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. I knew that was easier said then done but tried to convince myself that by will alone I could make what I was feeling go away. Maybe things would be easier now that she was out of my life. I assume she’s out of my life after what she heard today. I couldn’t imagine living without her but maybe that would be the only way I could get over what I was feeling. Even at that I knew that it would be a long, long time before I was over her. You don’t slowly fall in love with someone over the 8 years you’ve know them and then get over them in a month. It just doesn’t work that way. The hardest part was that deep down in my heart I didn’t want to forget her. I wanted to remember every word she said and every moment we spent together.
Now I was angry. Not at her but at myself for letting myself feel this way about her and for being to scared of losing her to tell her what I had been feeling so strongly since that night a year ago. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself as I climbed the stairs to the only bathroom in the house upstairs. It was getting nearer to 5 and I wanted to get this shower out of the way so I could concentrate on getting as drunk as possible now.
I entered the bathroom, which was painted in all white with black and white tile in the shower and shut the door behind me. I started the water in the shower, getting it as hot as possible without burning myself and then began to undress. As I stripped I couldn’t help but notice my body in the mirror beside me. I guess in most people’s opinions I would be what you call “cute”. The average girl next door type with the innocent look on her face and long blonde hair streaming half way down her back. I usually kept my hair pulled back so it was out of my face because it bothered me sometimes, especially on hot days. The pony tail only added to the whole innocent persona that I had been ticketed with since I was young. I had a wild side but only Jewels had seen it on occasion, like the night we got tattoos together. I always wanted one but thought it would hurt to much. Jewels told me I could do it and she would hold my hand the whole time, and she did. She never let go for a second.
I climbed into the shower and closed the curtain behind me. The bathroom was already steaming up from the heat of the shower. Jewels made a comment once that because of the black and white design of the tiles I could play checkers in the shower if I got bored while I was in there. She herself had showered in here many times when she had spent the night over. There were stretches of time when she practically lived here, my mom even gave her awon key. When she stayed over I always let her shower before me so I didn’t use up all the hot water. As the water cascaded over my sensitive breasts and down to my neatly trimmed pussy I thought, Thank god she’ll never know how often I masturbated right here in this shower when I showered right after her. Her naked body being exactly where I was standing…it got me so hot I couldn’t help myself. Now I was picturing her perfect 5’7″ frame wet and glistening with water and soap suds. Her full beautiful breasts with erect nipples from rubbing them while she washed… All of a sudden my thoughts came to a sudden stop as I realized I was unconsciously rubbing my throbbing clit just thinking about her. I could hear the faint ring of the phone in the kitchen and it broke me from this trance like state I was in. I pulled my hand away, washed my hair and quickly got out of the shower not wanting to do what my body was begging me to do.
My anger with myself had only grown with the shower and I wanted nothing more then to grab another beer and head back down to my room and lock myself there for the rest of my life. I dryed myself, being careful not to let the cotton of the towel come anywhere near my aching pussy. I wrapped my wet hair in a towel and went to the kitchen to get my beer and to see who had called while I was in the shower. I grabbed the beer and opened it, drinking about a quarter of it down before I walked over to the machine and pushed the flashing message button. The message played…
“Kelly it’s me, Julia. I’m don’t know what to say about what happened earlier. They were just…I was just…it was…. I… oh god this isn’t coming out right at all. I’m gonna come over ok. I need to tell you something but not on the machine. I’ll be over as soon as I can, there’s something I have to do and a song you need to hear. Maybe your not home or maybe you are and you just don’t want to talk to me. Either way I’m comin Kel! I’ll be there in about 15 minutes”
Oh my god, I thought, I didn’t think she’d ever talk to me again. What does she want. What could she possibly have to say to me after what happened today? Things were streaming through my mind a mile a minute. She sounded really upset, like she’d been crying. She was crying because of what she knew now. She probably wanted to tell me what a bitch I’d been to lie to her all this time. And the song thing, what’s up with that? I know we always tell each other about songs that we wanted each other to hear, but now?… there is something she wants me to hear now? It didn’t make sense. None of today had made sense. What do I say to her when she gets here? How do I even look at her knowing that she knows?
I was freaking out and had to get hold of myself. I listened to the message once more to make sure I’d heard her correctly and then erased it so my mom wouldn’t hear it. That’s the last thing I need is to have to answer questions from my mom right now, I thought. I practically ran downstairs, beer in hand, to get dressed and clean up my room a bit. I finished my 3rd beer in an attempt to calm the nerves that were overtaking my body and mind at this point. I realized I only had about 5 minutes before she got here and decided to skip putting on a bra and panties, Not like anyone will know, I thought sarcastically to myself . I slipped my white robe off and threw it on my bed then slid into my favorite old pair of faded jeans. I gave my long hair a quick towel dry, just enough so it wasn’t dripping and pulled a baggy sweater over my head and threw the wet towel in my clothes hamper along with a few other articles of clothing that were spread around the room recklessly.
At this point I just kept asking myself the same questions…. Why is she coming? And do I wonder if I have time for one more beer before she gets here? I decided I wasn’t going to get the answer to the first question until she got here. I was willing to take a chance on the beer thing though. I wandered back upstairs in a little bit of a daze and opened the fridge to reach for my 4th beer since I’d gotten home about an hour and a half ago. You could see the remnants of my little binge around the house. 1 empty bottle on the cupboard upstairs and 2 in my room downstairs. I didn’t care what my mom would think though. Jewels was the only thing on my mind.
I took my drink and went back to my room to tidy up a bit more. I don’t know why I thought I should clean but I did. I think I was just trying to keep myself busy. I picked up a few CD’s that were laying around and put one of them in my stereo. Then I walked over to my computer desk and stacked some papers that were kind of spread out everywhere and placed a few pens and pencils in the holder that they belonged in. Feeling comfortable about the cleanliness of my room I walked over to the bed to sit down. I nearly sat on the picture I had thrown on the bed earlier. I picked it up again, with full intentions of returning it to it’s spot on my dresser but again my thoughts wandered to her and that day. I had the picture in one hand, looking at it and a beer in the other when I hear a voice from come from my door way. It was Jewels, I could tell she’d been crying but she still looked great.
“Hey. I was afraid if I rang the bell you wouldn’t answer. And if you weren’t home I was just going to wait for you so I let myself in,” Jewels said in a somber a voice as I’d ever heard from her. It was just above a whisper. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, that’s okay.” I managed to reply. My throat seemed to dry instantly so I took another drink from my bottle before speaking again. “Why did you think I wouldn’t let you in?”
“I wasn’t sure you know. I mean with what happened today I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me or not. You didn’t answer the phone when I called and that made me wonder more but I can see you were probably in the shower huh” Her eyes wandered to the bath robe that I had been wearing and just thrown on the bed.
“Yeah, I was.”
With a half smile Jewels said, “Yeah, the wet hair was kind of a tip off.”
She had attempted to lighten the tension in the room but I couldn’t even manage a smile. She was obviously uncomfortable around me the way she kept fidgeting, playing with the CD I just now noticed in her hand. It must have the song on it she wants me to hear, I thought. Things had obviously changed between us and I suddenly became self conscious of my appearance, running my hands through my wet hair which I hadn’t yet combed.
“Don’t worry you look sexy with wet hair,” Jewels said with more of a smile this time.
I wondered what she had meant by the comment but I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation worse. Actually I didn’t say anything. Neither of us seemed to know what to say or how to start so I said the only thing I could think of. “Would you like one?” I asked holding the beer in my hand up towards her. At this point I became aware of the fact that I was still clutching her photo in my other hand and set it face down on the bed beside me.
“Sure I’d love on if you have any left. Do you think I can catch up?,” she spoke jokingly. “Looks like your on your 4th from the bottles I counted.”
“Yeah, well I kinda had a bad day,” I said harsher then I intended.
“I know.” she said only there was no more smile on her face.
“Look I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“It’s ok, really.”
“I’ll go get your beer.”
I sat my beer down on my dresser and moved past her in the doorway. I brushed against her accidentally as I passed and she flinched slightly. I think she was as nervous as I was for some reason. “Go ahead and sit down if you want,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Ok. Thanks.”
This isn’t going like I thought it would. I thought she’d yell at me and be outta here. Why is she here then? What does she want? I grabbed Jewels a beer from the fridge and headed downstairs again. Normally I would ask a guest if the wanted it in a glass but I knew that like me, Jewels, preferred it in the bottle.
As I made it to the doorway of my room my heart dropped a little when I saw her sitting on the bed holding the picture that I had been looking at just minutes before. She knows I was staring at her picture, if that doesn’t freak her out what will? I thought to myself. I tried to act like I didn’t notice and walked over to the bed, twisted the cap off her beer and handed it to her. Our fingers touched as she took the bottle from me and I knew it wasn’t the cold of the bottle that had given me the goosebumps I now had. It was her, her touch.
“Thank you,” she said as she took a sip from the bottle.
I tried not to stare at her lucious lips wrapped around the bottle. Tried not to think what it would be like to have those same lips against mine. Stop it! I told myself again. Finally she broke the silence.
“Do you remember this day?” she asked while holding the photo up for me to see even though she knew I had been looking at it. Any hint of the joking nature that been in her voice earlier had disappeared and she was back to the soft near whisper voice.
“Yeah,” I said looking her right in the eye. My gaze shifted to the floor before I spoke again. It hurt to look at her. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
“Mine to Kel.” she said and sat the picture back down on the bed. “Is your mom at home?”
“No, she’s gone out for the night. She won’t be home till after midnight. What’s with all the small talk, I thought. I wish she’d just say what she has to say. Lord knows I won’t be the one to start a conversation. Surely she knows that. Minutes seemed to pass although I’m sure it was probably no more then 30 seconds before Jewels spoke again.
“Kel…” she started to say.
She stopped and took a big drink from her bottle as if looking for an answer at the bottom of it.
“What is it? Whatever it is just say it ok.” I said, again harsher then I intended. My nerves were getting the best of me. “I know you must hate me after what you heard today so why don’t you just yell at me and then you can go home. I know that’s what you came here to do.”
“No it’s not. I came for a lot of different reasons. I wanted to see you. I needed to see you. I need to know if what Amy & Stacey said is true.” Her voice shook slightly as she spoke now. “Is it? Is it true?” Tears were forming in her eyes now. “Are they right?”
“What do you expect me to say Jewels? Hell your already crying. Do you want me to say that it was all a lie? Do you want me to tell you that they are crazy?” The words were just flowing out of me with an emotion I hadn’t expected, but maybe this was all for the best.
Jewels was still sitting on my bed. I slid down the wall I was standing near and sat down on the floor. I wasn’t sure if my legs would hold me through the conversation that was about to take place but I couldn’t sit on the bed with her. I couldn’t be that near to her when I said this. I pulled my knees up towards my chest and buried my head in them so that she could still hear me but couldn’t see my face as I talked. She still hadn’t said a word. I continued….
“When we were all out on the baseball field eating lunch today and for whatever reason they chose today to say to you what they did, what did you think?” I asked her choking back my own tears now. “You were disgusted weren’t you?”
“No, I…,” she broke in.
“Julia come on. When they told you that they thought that I was in love with you , you practically freaked. When they said that they saw the way I looked at you and that it was gross you agreed with them didn’t you? When they called me a dyke you must have agreed cause you didn’t say anything to make them stop. You just let them go on and on. I thought that they were my friends Jewels, I thought you were my friend but I guess that’s only if I’m the way you guys want me to be.”
“That’s not true Kel. I am your friend. I wasn’t…I was just a little shocked.”
“But you’ll never think of me the same way again will you? I could lie and tell you that the are wrong but what would that prove. You would always wonder why I looked at you for a second to long, or why a hug lasted a little longer then it should. Let’s face it, our friendship is over cause your never going to trust me again. So what do you want me to say, really?” By now I was crying softly and wiping the tears off my cheek with the sleeve of my sweater, never once looking up to see if she was looking at me. “Do you want me to say it’s not true? Is that why you came here so I would tell you it wasn’t true? ”
“Actually Kel,” she said, “I was hoping that when I got you alone that you would be honest with me and tell me the truth, whatever that may be. You can trust me. So what I wanna know is quite simple actually. Are you in love with me?”
“Yeah, I am.” was all I could manage to say at first. “Is that what you wanted to hear. Are you happy now?” I expected her to call me a bitch and storm out or something but that didn’t happen. She didn’t move as far as I could tell. Finally she spoke.
“Yeah, I am.” she said.
I could tell she was crying softly still. Confused by her answer I slowly raised my head to look at her. She was looking right at me and she didn’t look mad.
“I really am.” she repeated again with a hint of relief in her voice and a momentary smile on her lips that allowed me for a second to think that maybe things would be okay between us again at some point. She wiped a few tears from her cheek and set her beer down beside mine on the dresser.
I didn’t know what to say. I was still confused so I said nothing. There was silence in the room except for the stereo playing in the background that until now I had tuned out. It didn’t seem like a weird silence though, it was just silence. We sat like that for several minutes. I think we where both trying to figure out what to say next. Finally she spoke.
“I know your confused Kel. I’m just trying to think of the right way to say what I want to say. Do you remember on the message I left earlier…I said that there was something I had to do and a song I wanted you to hear. You remember that?”
“Yeah,” I said with my head back in my knees again.
“Well you know how sometimes you hear a song and it seems to say everything you want to say but can’t?”
“Yeah,” I replied again. I simply didn’t know what else to say.
“Well there’s a song I want you to hear. It says what I want to say better then I ever could. Is it okay of I put it on?”
Again, a simple “yes” was all I would muster. After she stood up I raised my head to look at her as she walked towards the stereo. She had this quality that just lit up any room she was in. She pushed the eject button on my stereo and replaced the Melissa Etheridge disc I had in their with the one she had in her hand. Sensing she was ready to turn around I quickly hid my face again, not wanting her to see me. She grabbed the remote for my stereo from beside it and walked back to the bed where she sat down again.
“Don’t say anything ok. Just listen,” she pleaded. She pushed the play button on the disc and found the track she wanted and then the song started. The music was actually a nice distraction from the silence that came before it. The song echoed throughout the room….
~~~~~~
Been running from these feelings for so long
Telling my heart I didn’t need it
Pretending I was better off alone but
I know that it’s just a lie.
So afraid to take a chance again
So afraid of what I feel inside but…
I need to be next to you
Oh I, Oh I… I need to share every breath with you.
Oh I, Oh I… I need to know I can see your smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night, for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you Oh I…
I need to be next to you
Need to be next to you.
Right here with you is right where I belong
I’ll lose my mind if I can’t see you
Without you there is nothing in this life that
Would make life worth living for
I can’t bear the thought of you not there
I can’t fight what I feel anymore cause …
~~~~~
What does this mean? I wondered. Is she trying to say what I think she’s trying to say? I concentrated on the song again.
~~~~~
I need to be next to you
Oh I, Oh I…I need to share every breath with you.
Oh I, Oh I… I need to know I can see your smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night, for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you Oh I…
I need to be next to you
I need to have your heart next to mine for all time
Hold you for all of my life…
I need to be next to you.
I need to be next to you.
Oh I , Oh I… need to be, need to be next to you
Share every breath with you
I Need to feel you in my arms baby. In my arms.
I Need to be next to you.
~~~~~~
The song was over and silence filled the room again as I heard her turn the stereo off completely when the song ended. I was more confused now then I was before. I was searching for the words to ask her what she was trying to say when I heard her approach me. A weird sinking feeling entered my tummy. It was butterflies in my stomach just knowing that she was close. I still didn’t look up. I was to unsure of what was happening and my face was stained with tears.
She crouched down infront of me and spoke gently. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I don’t know,” I stammered. “I, I’m so confused right now.”
“Maybe I can help with that. I said there was a song I wanted you to hear and there was something I wanted to do. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time now but was afraid to do until now. Please look at me.”
After saying that she reached down and placed her hand under my chin and lifted my head so that I was looking at those beautiful brown eyes of hers. There were a few tears in her eyes but there was also smile on her face.
“Don’t cry boo.” she said.
She had never called me “boo” before. It caught me by surprise and I smiled slightly.
“That’s better,” she said as she wiped a tear from my cheek and placed her forehead on mine. We both let out a nervous little giggle.
I pressed my face against her hand loving the feeling of her touch. Inside I was praying that she would never take that hand away from my face. The warmth of her soft skin on mine lit a fire inside me that nobody else had ever done. Our eyes were locked on each other and I suddenly realized how close we were. She laid her whole hand on my cheek now gently caressing my cheek.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she stated with a tone in her voice that I had never heard before. It was a tone that excited me. I felt my nipples harden under my sweater and I was suddenly aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra, but I didn’t care. As she stroked my cheek she ran her thumb over my bottom lip and leaned her face closer to mine. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Was it the beer? I thought. Am I dreaming? If I am dreaming I don’t want to wake up.
It wasn’t a dream though, more like a fantasy come true. Her lips met mine for the first time. Our first touch of the lips was a simple closed mouth kiss, a peck really. Then a couple more quick, slightly open mouth kisses, that were soft and warm and filled with love. I was beginning to feel the familiar tingle in my pussy when she pulled back from the kiss to look into my eyes. At first I thought she regretted what she had done and was going to stop but she just looked at me and brushed my cheek again.
“Kel, I love you.” she said as she started to sob lightly again. “I’m in love with you. I have been for awhile I just didn’t know how to tell you. I only dated guys cause I was afraid of what people would say and most of all I was afraid of how it would affect our friendship. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you…”
I cut her off in mid sentence by placing my index finger on her lips. “Shhhh… it’s okay Jewels. I’m not going anywhere. I love you to.” The minute I said those words out loud the world seemed right. Like everything in the universe was exactly as it was supposed to be and the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. This was now the best day of my life.
She gave my finger that was resting upon her lips a quick kiss and then parted her lips taking it into her mouth up to the knuckle. Slowly she sucked it up to the tip of my finger leaving it wet with her saliva. Then Jewels took my hand by the wrist, with the finger still outstretched and ran it along her bottom lip. Our eyes were still locked on each other and I saw something in her eyes that I had never seen before, passion. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to kiss her again, had to feel her lips on mine.
She seemed to want the same thing and together, eyes closed, we leaned in to kiss again. We started light again at first but soon our kisses became more enpassioned. I had never really been kissed before because I avoided all relationships because of the way I felt for Jewels. Even though she didn’t know how I felt it, it would have felt like cheating if I had gone out with someone else when I was in love with her. This had left me totally naive to all things sexual. Sure I had knew what sex was and had an idea of what to do but that was about it. Jewels knew I was a virgin and I think she was taking it slow for me because she knew I was nervous.
We kissed like that for ages, well actually probably only a minute, but it seemed like longer to me. Suddenly Jewels began to stand up from the crouching position she had been in and I thought, That’s it, she’s leaving. Again I was wrong. When she was up she reached her hand out towards me and I took it. She pulled me up towards her and into the hottest kiss I had ever known. With my hand still in hers she pushed me back a few steps and pinned me to the wall I had just been leaning against. Her lips never lost contact with mine, something I was very grateful for. She began to kiss me deeper. Her tongue slipped out of her mouth and traced my upper and lower lip expertly before parting my lips and exploring every inch of my mouth. Whoa, this girl is one hell of a kisser! I thought. My body was on fire now, my desire for her undeniable.
We continued to kiss passionately. She had one hand on my face now as we kissed, she seemed to be trying to comfort me through this whole process because of my inexperience. With her finger tips on the other hand she traced her way from my outer hips inward to my stomach and slipped her hand under my sweater and around to the middle of my back where she rubbed it ever so gently for a moment before pulling out of this kiss. “Mmm no bra,” she said with a devilish twinkle in her eyes.
I felt my cheeks get red with embarrassment and began to responded in a shy nature, “Sorry. I didn’t have a chance to put one on before you got here…”
“Oh don’t worry Kel, I’m not complaining,” she said with a grin on her lips. “Just makes it easier when I do this…” She placed both hands on my hips and slowly began to slide my long sweater up my body exposing my naked flesh along the way. She got it as high as my belly button before pausing and looking at me again. “May I?” she asked wanting to make sure I was okay with what was about to happen. I simply raised a hand to her cheek and nodded my head, yes. Her smile brightened even more and there were no signs of tears in either of our eyes now. This just felt right.
She continued to work the sweater up my body, freeing my firm C cup breasts from their prison. I raised my arms so she could lift the sweater off over my head. “We won’t be needing that anymore will we,” Jewels smirked. “Your breasts are beautiful boo. I’ve waited so long to touch them, admired them when you weren’t looking. Did you know that?”
I shook my head side to side indicating that I hadn’t know and leaned in for the lips I already missed touching. Now wasn’t the time to talk. I kissed her bottom lip and pulled it into my mouth a little bit and gave it a playful nibble before kissing her fully. I had to have her and be had myself. As we kissed deeply she cupped one of my breasts and rolled the nipple between her thumb and index finger pinching playfully every now and then. I moaned softly in her mouth as we kissed. I had touched my own breasts before but it never really did that much for me. With Jewels doing it , it was a different story. I was in heaven. That’s it, I thought, this is what heaven on earth feels like. My passion was growing and I kissed her harder.
Again Jewels was the first one to break the long makeout session of kisses. She placed baby kisses across my cheek to my ear. Her tongue traced the outline of my ear and finally settled on the lobe, she sucked it into her mouth, flicking it with her tongue a few times. I was growing very wet now and could feel the juices from my naked pussy running out onto my jeans where a wet patch would soon form I’m sure. She continued with her trail of kisses, working her way around my neck to my throat and straight down my body…kissing all the way. Between my breasts, down my stomach and to my belly button. My whole body was on fire, everywhere she touched brought me pleasure. Her tongue circled my belly button then dove in, where she circled the inside with her wet tongue. All this time she had been very careful not to touch my tits with her mouth, she was teasing me and I loved it but I couldn’t take it anymore.
I placed my hand on the back of her head, feeling her silky smooth hair between my fingers and guided her up my body to my left breast. She caressed the outside of my breast extremely slowly with her finger tips sending goosebumps through me. That was the most sensitive spot for me, I was slightly ticklish there. She then looked up at me with her big brown eyes and finally I pleaded with her… “Please…” That was all I had to say, she knew what I wanted. With my hand still running through her hair she laid her tongue flat and licked it straight across my nipple, just once. Then she licked around my very large areola with the tip of her tongue. I pushed her face against me more and she got the picture. She instantly attacked my hardened nipple, sucking it and every once in awhile biting at it. I couldn’t believe she had never done this before. She definitely had a talent for it.
“What do you say we move this to someplace more comfortable Jewels?” I said in a teasing voice. “You’re making me a little weak in the knees here.” We both giggled and walked to my bed hand in hand.
Jewels shocked me by pulling the covers off my bed and throwing them to the floor at the foot of the bed. This left just the pillow and the bottom sheet. She must have noticed the look of surprise on my face because she said, “We’d just get them dirty and mess them up anyway so I just thought I’d get them out of the way.”
“Good point,” I said with a half smile and a light laugh then got serious. “I’ve fantasized about this moment so much but your different then I thought you would be. Your more…aggressive. I think I like it.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet boo,” Jewels replied as she used both arms to push me back onto the bed surprising me again. I was in a sitting position now with my legs over the side of the bed. I reached my hands out for hers and she grasped them. It was my turn to surprise her. I pulled her onto the bed with me in one sudden motion.
“See, 2 can play at that game.” I said. I hadn’t planned my attack to well though cause she landed on top of me knocking me side ways and catching me on the side of my forehead with one of her rings. I let out a little “Owwww” while laughing at the same time.
As I made it to the doorway of my room my heart dropped a little when I saw her sitting on the bed holding the picture that I had been looking at just minutes before. She knows I was staring at her picture, if that doesn’t freak her out what will? I thought to myself. I tried to act like I didn’t notice and walked over to the bed, twisted the cap off her beer and handed it to her. Our fingers touched as she took the bottle from me and I knew it wasn’t the cold of the bottle that had given me the goosebumps I now had. It was her, her touch.
“Thank you,” she said as she took a sip from the bottle.
I tried not to stare at her lucious lips wrapped around the bottle. Tried not to think what it would be like to have those same lips against mine. Stop it! I told myself again. Finally she broke the silence.
“Do you remember this day?” she asked while holding the photo up for me to see even though she knew I had been looking at it. Any hint of the joking nature that been in her voice earlier had disappeared and she was back to the soft near whisper voice.
“Yeah,” I said looking her right in the eye. My gaze shifted to the floor before I spoke again. It hurt to look at her. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
“Mine to Kel.” she said and sat the picture back down on the bed. “Is your mom at home?”
“No, she’s gone out for the night. She won’t be home till after midnight. What’s with all the small talk, I thought. I wish she’d just say what she has to say. Lord knows I won’t be the one to start a conversation. Surely she knows that. Minutes seemed to pass although I’m sure it was probably no more then 30 seconds before Jewels spoke again.
“Kel…” she started to say.
She stopped and took a big drink from her bottle as if looking for an answer at the bottom of it.
“What is it? Whatever it is just say it ok.” I said, again harsher then I intended. My nerves were getting the best of me. “I know you must hate me after what you heard today so why don’t you just yell at me and then you can go home. I know that’s what you came here to do.”
“No it’s not. I came for a lot of different reasons. I wanted to see you. I needed to see you. I need to know if what Amy & Stacey said is true.” Her voice shook slightly as she spoke now. “Is it? Is it true?” Tears were forming in her eyes now. “Are they right?”
“What do you expect me to say Jewels? Hell your already crying. Do you want me to say that it was all a lie? Do you want me to tell you that they are crazy?” The words were just flowing out of me with an emotion I hadn’t expected, but maybe this was all for the best.
Jewels was still sitting on my bed. I slid down the wall I was standing near and sat down on the floor. I wasn’t sure if my legs would hold me through the conversation that was about to take place but I couldn’t sit on the bed with her. I couldn’t be that near to her when I said this. I pulled my knees up towards my chest and buried my head in them so that she could still hear me but couldn’t see my face as I talked. She still hadn’t said a word. I continued….
“When we were all out on the baseball field eating lunch today and for whatever reason they chose today to say to you what they did, what did you think?” I asked her choking back my own tears now. “You were disgusted weren’t you?”
“No, I…,” she broke in.
“Julia come on. When they told you that they thought that I was in love with you , you practically freaked. When they said that they saw the way I looked at you and that it was gross you agreed with them didn’t you? When they called me a dyke you must have agreed cause you didn’t say anything to make them stop. You just let them go on and on. I thought that they were my friends Jewels, I thought you were my friend but I guess that’s only if I’m the way you guys want me to be.”
“That’s not true Kel. I am your friend. I wasn’t…I was just a little shocked.”
“But you’ll never think of me the same way again will you? I could lie and tell you that the are wrong but what would that prove. You would always wonder why I looked at you for a second to long, or why a hug lasted a little longer then it should. Let’s face it, our friendship is over cause your never going to trust me again. So what do you want me to say, really?” By now I was crying softly and wiping the tears off my cheek with the sleeve of my sweater, never once looking up to see if she was looking at me. “Do you want me to say it’s not true? Is that why you came here so I would tell you it wasn’t true? ”
“Actually Kel,” she said, “I was hoping that when I got you alone that you would be honest with me and tell me the truth, whatever that may be. You can trust me. So what I wanna know is quite simple actually. Are you in love with me?”
“Yeah, I am.” was all I could manage to say at first. “Is that what you wanted to hear. Are you happy now?” I expected her to call me a bitch and storm out or something but that didn’t happen. She didn’t move as far as I could tell. Finally she spoke.
“Yeah, I am.” she said.
I could tell she was crying softly still. Confused by her answer I slowly raised my head to look at her. She was looking right at me and she didn’t look mad.
“I really am.” she repeated again with a hint of relief in her voice and a momentary smile on her lips that allowed me for a second to think that maybe things would be okay between us again at some point. She wiped a few tears from her cheek and set her beer down beside mine on the dresser.
I didn’t know what to say. I was still confused so I said nothing. There was silence in the room except for the stereo playing in the background that until now I had tuned out. It didn’t seem like a weird silence though, it was just silence. We sat like that for several minutes. I think we where both trying to figure out what to say next. Finally she spoke.
“I know your confused Kel. I’m just trying to think of the right way to say what I want to say. Do you remember on the message I left earlier…I said that there was something I had to do and a song I wanted you to hear. You remember that?”
“Yeah,” I said with my head back in my knees again.
“Well you know how sometimes you hear a song and it seems to say everything you want to say but can’t?”
“Yeah,” I replied again. I simply didn’t know what else to say.
“Well there’s a song I want you to hear. It says what I want to say better then I ever could. Is it okay of I put it on?”
Again, a simple “yes” was all I would muster. After she stood up I raised my head to look at her as she walked towards the stereo. She had this quality that just lit up any room she was in. She pushed the eject button on my stereo and replaced the Melissa Etheridge disc I had in their with the one she had in her hand. Sensing she was ready to turn around I quickly hid my face again, not wanting her to see me. She grabbed the remote for my stereo from beside it and walked back to the bed where she sat down again.
“Don’t say anything ok. Just listen,” she pleaded. She pushed the play button on the disc and found the track she wanted and then the song started. The music was actually a nice distraction from the silence that came before it. The song echoed throughout the room….
~~~~~~
Been running from these feelings for so long
Telling my heart I didn’t need it
Pretending I was better off alone but
I know that it’s just a lie.
So afraid to take a chance again
So afraid of what I feel inside but…
I need to be next to you
Oh I, Oh I… I need to share every breath with you.
Oh I, Oh I… I need to know I can see your smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night, for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you Oh I…
I need to be next to you
Need to be next to you.
Right here with you is right where I belong
I’ll lose my mind if I can’t see you
Without you there is nothing in this life that
Would make life worth living for
I can’t bear the thought of you not there
I can’t fight what I feel anymore cause …
~~~~~
What does this mean? I wondered. Is she trying to say what I think she’s trying to say? I concentrated on the song again.
~~~~~
I need to be next to you
Oh I, Oh I…I need to share every breath with you.
Oh I, Oh I… I need to know I can see your smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night, for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you Oh I…
I need to be next to you
I need to have your heart next to mine for all time
Hold you for all of my life…
I need to be next to you.
I need to be next to you.
Oh I , Oh I… need to be, need to be next to you
Share every breath with you
I Need to feel you in my arms baby. In my arms.
I Need to be next to you.
~~~~~~
The song was over and silence filled the room again as I heard her turn the stereo off completely when the song ended. I was more confused now then I was before. I was searching for the words to ask her what she was trying to say when I heard her approach me. A weird sinking feeling entered my tummy. It was butterflies in my stomach just knowing that she was close. I still didn’t look up. I was to unsure of what was happening and my face was stained with tears.
She crouched down infront of me and spoke gently. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I don’t know,” I stammered. “I, I’m so confused right now.”
“Maybe I can help with that. I said there was a song I wanted you to hear and there was something I wanted to do. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time now but was afraid to do until now. Please look at me.”
After saying that she reached down and placed her hand under my chin and lifted my head so that I was looking at those beautiful brown eyes of hers. There were a few tears in her eyes but there was also smile on her face.
“Don’t cry boo.” she said.
She had never called me “boo” before. It caught me by surprise and I smiled slightly.
“That’s better,” she said as she wiped a tear from my cheek and placed her forehead on mine. We both let out a nervous little giggle.
I pressed my face against her hand loving the feeling of her touch. Inside I was praying that she would never take that hand away from my face. The warmth of her soft skin on mine lit a fire inside me that nobody else had ever done. Our eyes were locked on each other and I suddenly realized how close we were. She laid her whole hand on my cheek now gently caressing my cheek.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she stated with a tone in her voice that I had never heard before. It was a tone that excited me. I felt my nipples harden under my sweater and I was suddenly aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra, but I didn’t care. As she stroked my cheek she ran her thumb over my bottom lip and leaned her face closer to mine. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Was it the beer? I thought. Am I dreaming? If I am dreaming I don’t want to wake up.
It wasn’t a dream though, more like a fantasy come true. Her lips met mine for the first time. Our first touch of the lips was a simple closed mouth kiss, a peck really. Then a couple more quick, slightly open mouth kisses, that were soft and warm and filled with love. I was beginning to feel the familiar tingle in my pussy when she pulled back from the kiss to look into my eyes. At first I thought she regretted what she had done and was going to stop but she just looked at me and brushed my cheek again.
“Kel, I love you.” she said as she started to sob lightly again. “I’m in love with you. I have been for awhile I just didn’t know how to tell you. I only dated guys cause I was afraid of what people would say and most of all I was afraid of how it would affect our friendship. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you…”
I cut her off in mid sentence by placing my index finger on her lips. “Shhhh… it’s okay Jewels. I’m not going anywhere. I love you to.” The minute I said those words out loud the world seemed right. Like everything in the universe was exactly as it was supposed to be and the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. This was now the best day of my life.
She gave my finger that was resting upon her lips a quick kiss and then parted her lips taking it into her mouth up to the knuckle. Slowly she sucked it up to the tip of my finger leaving it wet with her saliva. Then Jewels took my hand by the wrist, with the finger still outstretched and ran it along her bottom lip. Our eyes were still locked on each other and I saw something in her eyes that I had never seen before, passion. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to kiss her again, had to feel her lips on mine.
She seemed to want the same thing and together, eyes closed, we leaned in to kiss again. We started light again at first but soon our kisses became more enpassioned. I had never really been kissed before because I avoided all relationships because of the way I felt for Jewels. Even though she didn’t know how I felt it, it would have felt like cheating if I had gone out with someone else when I was in love with her. This had left me totally naive to all things sexual. Sure I had knew what sex was and had an idea of what to do but that was about it. Jewels knew I was a virgin and I think she was taking it slow for me because she knew I was nervous.
We kissed like that for ages, well actually probably only a minute, but it seemed like longer to me. Suddenly Jewels began to stand up from the crouching position she had been in and I thought, That’s it, she’s leaving. Again I was wrong. When she was up she reached her hand out towards me and I took it. She pulled me up towards her and into the hottest kiss I had ever known. With my hand still in hers she pushed me back a few steps and pinned me to the wall I had just been leaning against. Her lips never lost contact with mine, something I was very grateful for. She began to kiss me deeper. Her tongue slipped out of her mouth and traced my upper and lower lip expertly before parting my lips and exploring every inch of my mouth. Whoa, this girl is one hell of a kisser! I thought. My body was on fire now, my desire for her undeniable.
We continued to kiss passionately. She had one hand on my face now as we kissed, she seemed to be trying to comfort me through this whole process because of my inexperience. With her finger tips on the other hand she traced her way from my outer hips inward to my stomach and slipped her hand under my sweater and around to the middle of my back where she rubbed it ever so gently for a moment before pulling out of this kiss. “Mmm no bra,” she said with a devilish twinkle in her eyes.
I felt my cheeks get red with embarrassment and began to responded in a shy nature, “Sorry. I didn’t have a chance to put one on before you got here…”
“Oh don’t worry Kel, I’m not complaining,” she said with a grin on her lips. “Just makes it easier when I do this…” She placed both hands on my hips and slowly began to slide my long sweater up my body exposing my naked flesh along the way. She got it as high as my belly button before pausing and looking at me again. “May I?” she asked wanting to make sure I was okay with what was about to happen. I simply raised a hand to her cheek and nodded my head, yes. Her smile brightened even more and there were no signs of tears in either of our eyes now. This just felt right.
She continued to work the sweater up my body, freeing my firm C cup breasts from their prison. I raised my arms so she could lift the sweater off over my head. “We won’t be needing that anymore will we,” Jewels smirked. “Your breasts are beautiful boo. I’ve waited so long to touch them, admired them when you weren’t looking. Did you know that?”
I shook my head side to side indicating that I hadn’t know and leaned in for the lips I already missed touching. Now wasn’t the time to talk. I kissed her bottom lip and pulled it into my mouth a little bit and gave it a playful nibble before kissing her fully. I had to have her and be had myself. As we kissed deeply she cupped one of my breasts and rolled the nipple between her thumb and index finger pinching playfully every now and then. I moaned softly in her mouth as we kissed. I had touched my own breasts before but it never really did that much for me. With Jewels doing it , it was a different story. I was in heaven. That’s it, I thought, this is what heaven on earth feels like. My passion was growing and I kissed her harder.
Again Jewels was the first one to break the long makeout session of kisses. She placed baby kisses across my cheek to my ear. Her tongue traced the outline of my ear and finally settled on the lobe, she sucked it into her mouth, flicking it with her tongue a few times. I was growing very wet now and could feel the juices from my naked pussy running out onto my jeans where a wet patch would soon form I’m sure. She continued with her trail of kisses, working her way around my neck to my throat and straight down my body…kissing all the way. Between my breasts, down my stomach and to my belly button. My whole body was on fire, everywhere she touched brought me pleasure. Her tongue circled my belly button then dove in, where she circled the inside with her wet tongue. All this time she had been very careful not to touch my tits with her mouth, she was teasing me and I loved it but I couldn’t take it anymore.
I placed my hand on the back of her head, feeling her silky smooth hair between my fingers and guided her up my body to my left breast. She caressed the outside of my breast extremely slowly with her finger tips sending goosebumps through me. That was the most sensitive spot for me, I was slightly ticklish there. She then looked up at me with her big brown eyes and finally I pleaded with her… “Please…” That was all I had to say, she knew what I wanted. With my hand still running through her hair she laid her tongue flat and licked it straight across my nipple, just once. Then she licked around my very large areola with the tip of her tongue. I pushed her face against me more and she got the picture. She instantly attacked my hardened nipple, sucking it and every once in awhile biting at it. I couldn’t believe she had never done this before. She definitely had a talent for it.
“What do you say we move this to someplace more comfortable Jewels?” I said in a teasing voice. “You’re making me a little weak in the knees here.” We both giggled and walked to my bed hand in hand.
Jewels shocked me by pulling the covers off my bed and throwing them to the floor at the foot of the bed. This left just the pillow and the bottom sheet. She must have noticed the look of surprise on my face because she said, “We’d just get them dirty and mess them up anyway so I just thought I’d get them out of the way.”
“Good point,” I said with a half smile and a light laugh then got serious. “I’ve fantasized about this moment so much but your different then I thought you would be. Your more…aggressive. I think I like it.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet boo,” Jewels replied as she used both arms to push me back onto the bed surprising me again. I was in a sitting position now with my legs over the side of the bed. I reached my hands out for hers and she grasped them. It was my turn to surprise her. I pulled her onto the bed with me in one sudden motion.
“See, 2 can play at that game.” I said. I hadn’t planned my attack to well though cause she landed on top of me knocking me side ways and catching me on the side of my forehead with one of her rings. I let out a little “Owwww” while laughing at the same time.