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I Love Her

20.04.2018
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I love her.

I love everything about her.

I love her.

I love her eyes; they shine like diamonds reflecting the emerald of a shamrock field. I love her smile; angels have fallen from heaven for envy of that smile. I love her hair, coppery red that flows down her back like glittering lava giving accent to her already breathtaking form. Her every movement is poetry. Mortals walk, the goddess of my devotion glides like water across polished glass.

I love everything about her.

I love her.

I love watching her eat at the coffee house as she sips her coffee and nibbles at her roll. She even eats gracefully! What flaw could she contain? What trait could mar such perfection? I watch enraptured as she slips amongst the tables to refill her cup. She seems to shine with an inner light. She slips back and resumes her seat. The ones about her bask in that light do so with absolute rapture. The ones who sit further away look upon wistfully, dreaming as I do of being within the radius of such illumination. As she leaves with a friend, I notice that she is laughing at something they have said. I wish I could be the one to make her laugh. I wish it were me she walked with. But sadly, no, I dare not approach her. I am not worthy of her time so I can only stare like a moonstruck fool.

I love everything about her.

I love her.

I love watching her at the club. The music thumps and hums, driving itself into the soul like a tiger pouncing upon unwary prey. The dim lights hiding dark intent does nothing to diminish her inner beauty. Like a gleaming sun, she stands out among the undulating crowd. A platinum idol among pewter forms. She is dressed to kill and many fall to her deadly wiles. I watch my huntress rack up her victories from above, safe in the shadows from the pull of the crowd. The helpless lured close by her charms strive to win her favor only to be dismissed and ignored. The slink away having been found wanting. She is unrivaled, flowing to the pulse that is the heart of the crowd, more than a dance, beyond mere music. Black lights reflect on her flawless skin. Her smiles dazzle poor passersby like flashes from a camera on the unaware. Her hair swings around her face, a living thing of its own.

My angel…

My succubus…

The Virgin Mary and promiscuous Lilith…

My blood boils as she writhes to the cacophony of demons their choir crooning from the speakers of the nightclub. I MUST meet her. I must know the unimaginable bliss of her embrace. I must know the peace of surrender to her kiss. To be immolated in the flames that would be our passion. I must but I am afraid. To be spurned is to know entropy far more destructive than the decay of the grave. My boiling blood turned to ice. She smiles at me as I watch from above. Did she see me? I slip back further into the shadows. She is everything I could ask for. She is the only concept I dream of, her image has haunted my mind for weeks. I curse my cowards’ heart as I seek the safety of my alcove. I must meet her. I WILL meet her. I will approach her and tell her my heart. She is my want, she is my desire, and she is my sin, the wishmaster to grant me the serenity of completeness. Almost trancelike I let my gaze follow her mercury dance through the club. I will meet her.

I love everything about her.

I love her.

I sit in my car as the hours tick by. Every nerve in me is tense with trepidation. I have replayed the scene a thousand times in my head. It seems so damn easy. I just walk up and tell her of my love. So simple really and yet, here I sit. My hand doesn’t open the door to let me out, it shakes with uncertainty in my lap. My feet do not carry me to her porch. Instead, they sit with quiet stillness of a deer caught in headlights. This is the night. I must do it now. I can do this now! Drawing a deep breath, I take firm hold on my courage. Releasing it slowly I steel my resolve. As I leave my car, I hear the song of the crickets. They urge me on, cheering my decision. I can do this. I move toward the house rehearsing what I will say.

I love everything about her.

I consume (no) ( please don’t hurt me) (oh my god) ( I can’t breathe) everything about her.

I awake to sunlight streaming into my room the memory of last night fresh in my mind. I smile softly to myself. I can still smell her in my clothes. It was like a surreal dream, I can’t even remember all of it. I was in the house and I talked to her. I noticed that she sleeps in a t-shirt and boxers. They were more alluring than anything she had ever worn to the Club. She must have felt a desire as strong and compelling as my own for as I held her tightly to me I heard her moan.

“no”

She spoke with a trembling voice. She moved with me to her bedroom. She softly repeated the word over and over as our clothes fell from us like autumn leaves from majestic tree. Her body melted against mine as I gently laid her back. My need must have been as obvious as her own. I was fire inside centered at a point that could only be quenched within her lovers grasp.

“please don’t hurt me”

She whimpered to me as I lay atop her and pushed forward with my hips into her waiting sex. The universe lost its cohesion, as two became one. Time and time again I joined with her. Our separate identities merged in countless couplings, immersed in passion unmeasured. A haze of bliss settled upon me that I have not yet lost even awake in a new day.

“oh my god”

She shook softly as she whispered this. Tear, obviously of joy coursed down her pristine face. She couldn’t stop shaking. I kissed her tears away whispering my undying love to her repeatedly like a mantra of my essence. Time blurred again and I felt the sting of my own tears as we joined in our lovers dance. Sweat clung to our bodies making them slick. I held her tightly to me never wanting to let go.

“i can’t breathe”

Her voice could barely be heard as she spoke into my chest. As I neared my climax, I felt her buck and thrust against me. My own passion overwhelmed me and I matched her motions, as they grew more frantic. Suddenly she went rigid against me and I exploded. A supernova exploded behind my eyes as I burst inside her once more. As I finished she went limp, spent. Galaxies were born and empires feel in that timeless forever moment I held her tightly against my chest. I kissed her forehead in a tender expression of the love we just made. She lay there still, as one deeply asleep. The dream master had taken her into his domain.

I don’t remember leaving or returning home. I sit here now at the coffee house a week later. Tyler by the Toadies plays in the background. I have not seen her for since. I worry that she is okay. Every time I think to go see her or call her I find that I cannot. Something holds my hand or diverts my course. If I think on it too much my head starts to hurt so I push my worry aside and wait. Why has she not returned? After such a magical night one would think she would have wanted to see me again even if only to simply repeat the experience again. An experience that was rivaled by nothing conceived of by man or god. More days pass without my goddess showing. Where is she? It is starting to hurt simply to think of her. I begin to worry again, but in a different direction.

Did I make it up?

Did it even happen?

I can’t seem to remember clearly. I try to conjure up her face. I grow dizzy with the surge of pain and my head being to throb. I can’t see her face.

What?

I can’t see who’s face?

Who?

Why?

The headache begins to fade. I sip my coffee feeling perplexed. Who was I thinking of, and why? I can’t seem to remember. Oh well, if it were important I am sure I would remember.

OH WOW

Who is that? She is so beautiful!

Pale skin and slim profile, black hair wreathing thick frames of glasses that only accent the bleached marble skin of her face. Marble that would make a sculptor weep seeing his craft a poor second to the perfection before him. She is reading Alice in Wonderland, such an amazing book! Her appearance has put me in a dream world of my own. I think I am falling.

No, I KNOW I am falling.

I love her.

I love everything about her.

Fin

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