I knew my roommate was into some strange things, but I didn’t know what to make of the over-sized diaper I found in her drawer one afternoon when I was looking for a shirt she’d borrowed from me. Cara was like that; she never returned anything, and I’ve always thought it rather childish, but not diaper-wearing childish.
I figured it must be some kind of joke, so I asked her about it when she came home from her philosophy class. But when I saw how red she got when I asked, I knew it wasn’t a joke.
She demanded to know what I was doing in her drawers, and when I didn’t answer, she pouted moodily, folding her arms over her breasts and turning her toes inward. Her black hair was mussed from her bike ride home, and I could smell that strange sweetness of her sweat. Sometimes when I smelled this I felt a strange hollowness at the pit of my stomach, something I only felt when I was excited or scared. Sometimes when I smelled Cara and she was close to me, I felt both. I’m no lesbian, but Cara and I have been close ever since I met her a few years ago, and often I think of how beautiful it would be to hold her in my arms, lie beside her, lick her behind the ears and make her smile. I wonder if I could ever make her wet, the way I was this very instant as I stared at her pouting.
I have always envied Cara a little. She dated the boys I wanted to have, and she always looked so cute and perfect and adorable. I could never pull that off if I tried; I have always been lanky and thin, angular, without any of that softness boys seem to like. So often I have wished I could be Cara, to be able to look down and pout a little bit and have the boys at my beck and call. She was wearing the short-pleated skirt and the black patent-leather Mary Jane shoes that made her look like she was still in high school, and she had clumsily applied blush to her cheeks as well, which made her seem so young and naïve. “Dana,” she said, in her slight, squeaky voice, “I don’t know what to say. I’m a little embarrassed.” She lowered her head bashfully, and pointed her toes further in. I’d seen her do this before when she was stressed out; I’d see her regress before my eyes into a little girl, her voice becoming higher and thinner and her lips pouting more and more. The best thing to do when she started to act like this was to take command and give her orders. She was usually quite compliant. So I told her sternly to settle down and go to her room.
I followed her there, tingling a bit from my assertiveness. Secretly I relished when Cara would break down; I loved taking charge of her. Usually it was a matter of telling her to clean up after herself or to start working on a paper she had been putting off, but this could prove to be something different. Finding that bizarre diaper had suddenly shifted us onto new terrain, one where secrets were suddenly coming out into the open. My nipples were stiffening underneath my bra; I glanced down and I could see them poking out against my T-shirt. I hoped Cara wouldn’t notice, but I always hoped she would.
In her room, Cara was sitting stock still on her bed as if she were waiting for me. “I’m sorry, Dana,” she said. “I didn’t want you to know about it.” I asked her about what, and she cooed, “My little secret.” I demanded that she tell me more about it, my pulse racing even as I tried to maintain a stern demeanor. Suddenly I was soaking wet; if I had been wearing a skirt I would have been dripping.
Cara had her hands squeezed between her knees, and she was biting her lip. “I don’t wanna,” she said all bratty, so I commanded her.
“What?” she whimpered in her girlish little voice.
“Tell me more,” I said. My nipples were completely hard now, and I was warm all over, buzzing. I thought I might pass out, but I knew I had to keep up my tough façade. I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror Cara dressed herself in. I straightened my glasses and took a deep breath. I wanted so badly to rush to my room and bury my fingers in cunt, as I had done so many times before when Cara had wound me up.
She went to her dresser, opened a different drawer, and showed me some more of her things. She had a teething ring that had obviously seen a lot of use, a collection of ribbons that she must have put in her hair, some baby powder, and a baby bottle with a large, well-chewed nipple on the end. “Sometimes I like to play with this stuff,” she said. Her little girl voice was really pronounced now, so that play sounded like “pway.” She continued to look up at me bashfully, waiting for me to respond.
“You like to be a little baby, Cara?” I said.
“Only when I’m nervous.”
“How do you feel now?” I asked her.
“I wanna suck my thumb,” she said. I nodded, and she sighed deeply, and planted her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes blissfully. I could hear the little sucking noises she m ade, and I thought I might swoon. It was so strange, here was my roommate, who I had known for years, who I had seen break down faulty syllogisms and elaborate nuances of Hegel in classes we had together, and whose boyfriend, a keenly intelligent mathematics TA, I had met on many occasions, here she was sucking her thumb in front of me with no apparent sense of shame. She opened her eyes again and looked up at me, thumb still in her mouth, still sucking away.
Suddenly I felt much taller than her, she seemed to be shrinking before me. Her hair had fallen in her face, and I knew she would prefer that it put back in pigtails. “You want to put your hair up? You’ve got such long hair for a little girl,” I said. She sat down on the bed and began bouncing enthusiastically. She wanted me to braid it. She shook out her hair and let it hang over her shoulders. In her excitement, her shirt became untucked, and I thought that she maybe she just take it off altogether.
“Cara, baby, you don’t wanna wear that grown-up shirt while I do your hair, do you?” She shook her head vigorously. I started to unbutton it, barely able to keep my fingers steady as I poked the little buttons through the holes. I had never touched her breasts before; they were full, sumptuous, so much bigger than my own. I resisted the urge to caress them, and contented myself to undo her blouse. When I was finished, she shrugged it off her shoulders, and fought her arms out of the sleeves. She was anxious to do it quickly so that she could put her thumb back in her mouth. “Aren’t you a cute little girl,” I said, watching her suck, as I tossed her shirt away towards her closet. She sat bouncing, naked from the waist up save for a lacy white bra. “You silly,” I said, “You’re not old enough for a big girl’s bra. You have to take that off this instant.”
She popped her thumb out of her mouth, all glistening and wet. “Help me,” she blurted, and popped it back into her mouth again. I wanted badly to kiss it for a moment, to smother her cute little face with kisses, she was so adorable. I unhooked her bra and let her breasts come free. She giggled and bounced on the bed so that her breasts would quaver. She had large round aureoles, with two darting nipples protruding, dying to be sucked on and played with. But it wouldn’t be right for the little baby to be nursing someone else. And I didn’t want to break the spell we seemed to have fallen into so quickly. It was like a fugue state, a dream. I was so hot, so primed, I wanted nothing more than to rub on my clit and get myself off, I would have myself against Cara’s bedpost and kept grinding until I came if I could. But baby needed my attention.
She was tugging at her stockings and saying, “It’s uncomfy. Wanna take off, wanna take off.” I told her to calm down, that mommy would be right there to help. I unbuckled her shoes first, having to reprimand her a few times to get her to behave and stop squirming. Cara delighted in this, I think, because she cooed and giggled every time I raised my voice at her. Kneeling on the floor between her legs, I was overcome by her fabulous musky scent, pouring out from underneath her short little skirt. I wanted to pull her stockings off and wrap them around my face and breathe it all in, smother myself with her smell, but that wouldn’t be very becoming behavior for mommy. Instead I carefully rolled her stockings down her long, lithe, smooth legs, dragging my fingers slowly over the insides of her thighs.
“Mommy, that tickles,” Cara squealed delightedly. Her nipples were hard, and she was pinching them distractedly.
“I think I know what will settle you down,” I said firmly, and I stood up and got her teething ring, which I stuck into her mouth. She immediately began happily sucking away, and I finished rolling her stockings down, and pulled her little wet panties off, almost fainting from the smell. I couldn’t resist quick turning away and burying my face in them, inhaling deeply the rich earthly smell of her juices. God, she was sopping. She was still fingering her nipples absently, as if she had no idea what she was doing, as if she had no idea anyone would ever think to watch her. She was losing all traces of self-consciousness as she sucked on her pacifier.
I got her to sit up so I could take her skirt off, and then she was totally naked except for the little gold nipple in her mouth. Then I put her diaper on her, of course, telling her that I didn’t want her to have any accidents in her bed. She nodded eagerly, and let me pull up the diaper pants over her smooth cleanly shaven legs. As I was doing this, I saw for the first time her wonderful cunt, which was shaved completely clean as well. I had never seen a grown woman’s pussy completely shaved bald like that before, and I thought I would die it was so beautiful. The two folds of her outer lips broke open wide, and I could see the lovely pink inside, her inner lips poking out, eager to be stroked. I was dizzy. I didn’t think I was going to be able to braid her hair without devouring her first. I just stared between her legs at the gleaming wet cunt, clenching my fists, wondering if I could resist touching her little bump of a clit, if I could stop myself from licking her clean and sucking her dry, as if that were possible, as if she would just keep coming and coming, and me too, coming and coming as I sucked and sucked and sucked.
I had to take my T-shirt off, too. “Mommy can see how hungry baby Cara is,” I said. “Look at how much your sucking on that pacifier.” I hurriedly unhooked my bra. “I think it’s time for Cara’s feeding.” Cara nodded vigorously, and slumped over in her bed in her diaper. I slipped myself underneath her body and lifted her weight back up. Then I pulled the pacifier out of her mouth, and positioned myself so that she could nestle between my own breasts, exposed now, and suckle on my protruding, throbbing nipples. She wrapped her lips around and start tugging softly, lathering my tender breast with her tongue. It was divine, unlike anything I had ever felt, her tender mouth knew just how I wanted to be suckled and kissed.
Every time her hungry mouth tugged on my nipple, I felt a pull somewhere deep inside of me, a sumptuous caress of some inner part of me, it was like having a massage on some part of me that I hadn’t known existed, but was crying out to be rubbed. I sighed deeply, “Oh baby, Mommy likes that,” I said. Cara smiled as she continued nipple and suck hungrily. “Oh yes,” I said, “Mommy’s here.” I wanted to touch her breasts, which were full and ripe, but I didn’t want to break the spell we were under. I caressed her head instead as she sucked deeply, running my fingers through her hair while my other hand kneaded my clit through my jeans. Desperately I wanted to slide them off, get my soaked panties off, and see if I could get baby to lick me clean down there.
Cara stopped suckling at my breast, and put her thumb back in her mouth. Her lips were shiny and wet, her cheeks fully flushed and rosy. Then she started to sniffle and pull on her diaper. I saw immediately that in her excitement at sucking on my breasts, she had let herself go completely, and peed in her diaper. I didn’t for a minute find this strange, that my roommate, this grown woman I envied so much, was suddenly no longer potty-trained. It seemed altogether natural that my baby would have wet herself, and told her that of course I would have to change her. She nodded and sucked her thumb some more.
I removed the soaked diaper while Cara cooed and gurgled. One thumb was still in her mouth, and her other hand was toying with one of her hardened nipples. Once I caught glimpse again of her bald pudendum, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to resist. I started by patting some of the baby powder around her outer lips, but when my finger touched her clit, it was electric, I felt it in my own. Cara’s thumb popped out of her mouth, “Oh, mommy,” she gasped.
I massaged her stiff little clit fervently for a few minutes, and finally I couldn’t stand it any more and I began bathing it with my tongue while she panted hungrily. Soon her legs began to quiver, and soon Cara’s whole body was quaking. She was coming, baby was coming. I kept licking and licking deliriously.
When she was finished I looked up at her dreamy face, her eyes closed, her face and chest still flush. She curled into the fetal position. I stripped off my pants and lay down on the bed beside her and I just stared at her beautiful naked body, the curves of her hips and her breasts, and the hairless cunt, so pretty, and I fucked and fucked myself with my fingers. Finally I closed my eyes, an orgasm shooting through me from my cunt to the tips of my fingers to my lips to my toes. I shivered and flailed and then I lay back more satisfied than I had felt in years. I lay like that for a while, I guess, because when I opened my eyes again, Cara had curled beside me, sleeping soundly as only a child could, with her little yellow teething ring plugged firmly in her mouth.