Loading...Love had been one of the least permanent things in Kate’s life. In her line of work, she traveled very light and nothing lasted long. Not even the pistols she used to snuff a contract were hers for more than a few days.
To look at Kate when she was all dolled up, you would have never expected her to be so cold.
When she waltzed though a room, heads would turn and the smell of hot sex and signs of stiff erections were everywhere. Sure, when necessary she could suck a guy off in record time, however, she wanted the dames, and she did not have any trouble in that department at all.
When she was at her best, her heart was like a frozen ball of marble and you would be dead before you even saw the bright light on the way to the pearly gates. She had lost track of how many there had been. She knew she passed fifty hits in the first ten years and she had been at it for twenty when she gave up the business. That was years ago.
The morning snow flurry had left a light dusting of new snow on the foot of snow from last week’s storm that was on top of all the other snow from the long winter. Kate’s ancient rusted truck roared though the worn ruts in the snow. The four-wheel drive transfer case whined like a hurt wolf and she often wondered how much longer it would last.
All that mattered was that it get to the Deep Breath, her favorite lesbian pick up bar. The Deep Breath was a pure glory hole filled with smoke, the stink of old beer, and plenty of women on the make. Who could ask for anything better? Hell, Joan, who owned the joint even had some varnished wooden tables in the back that made for a crude facsimile of a bed. Just wipe them down when you were done was all Joan asked.
When Kate moved to mountain foothills outside of Coldwater years ago, it was rare to find another lesbian, and she had tried hard. These days, they were everywhere and some had been between many legs. Even the mayor and sheriff were lesbians. When Kate would hug the sheriff and stroke the nine-millimeter in the black leather holster on the wide black-tooled belt, Kate would get so wet between the legs her knees would almost buckle.
The twenty miles from her cabin to the town limit sign had long since become routine. Just past the sign, a dark blue BMW was stuck in a snowdrift way off the road. The tracks through the smooth new snow made it appear the car had spun more than once on the way to where it now rested. Kate parked her truck and walked toward the BMW. The window started to lower.
“Not a good job of parking,” Kate teased as she waited for the window to finish lowering. “Do you need some help?” Kate took her Stetson hat off and knocked it against her leg, and then ran her fingers though her short curly grayish-brown hair before putting it back on.
“Guess if I’m going to live here, I need a better car for the snow.”
The woman appeared to be in her forties, but regardless, younger than Kate was. She stepped into the two-foot snowdrift dressed in her L.L.Bean style winter clothes. “Hi, I’m Mandy,” she said with a strong assured voice and held her bare hand with the long slim fingers out while holding the glove in the other hand.
Kate’s eyes raced from the San Francisco Giants baseball cap resting over the shoulder length blond hair down to the almost new hiking boots. She didn’t find anything that would disqualify Mandy from her bed. There were days when having a pussy and breathing was all that mattered to Kate. There were probably a few days when the breathing part might have been optional as long as the body still had some warmth to it.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Kate. Got a winch that will pull you, ah, pull your car out just fine.”
Kate moved her truck and then dragged the discolored metal hook on the winch cable towards the BMW’s rear while she continued to examine Mandy leaning against the open driver’s door. Mandy made a small soft snowball with a handful from the roof and tossed it at Kate hitting her in the stomach. The hat and scarf hid some of what appeared to be a pretty face, but the dark red lipstick on the lips of her wide mouth sure looked like it would be fun to kiss completely off. The way Mandy smiled did not help destroy that idea either.
Parked along the shoulder of the road was Mandy’s car and she stood behind it. Kate pressed the lever that made the winch wind the cable up while she watched Mandy rubbing some gloss over her lips with a finger and she wished it were her finger.
“Not much traffic. I can’t thank you enough. Is there some way to repay you?”
Kate was so distracted she almost did not feel the winch start to suck her glove in. “Shit!” she cursed under her breath as she reversed the cable. “Let me buy you a cold drink to warm you up. Unless you mind drinking with another woman?” Kate kicked one well-worn boot in the snow and shifted her weight between feet as she mentally raped Mandy. The sight of snow angels made by Mandy’s naked body raced through her mind and delighted her. The thought of Mandy begging her to not stop delighted her even more.
“Sure. I could use some warming up.”
“Have you heard of the Deep Breath?”
“Seen it,” Mandy replied while she pondered what Kate might look like without all the denim and flannel clothes. She puzzled, ‘Boxers or no underwear, maybe briefs? Surely not thongs.’ Her pulse began to race as she let her mind wonder though places she probably should not go.
Kate diagonally parked next to Mandy half a block from the Deep Breath. Parking was still easy to find in Coldwater, but not like it used to be with five hundred places and twenty cars. Everyone knew that the word was out about life in the paradise of Coldwater and it would not be many more years before it would be hard to describe it as such.
“You’ve never been to the Deep Breath, then you’re in for a real experience,” Kate yelled at Mandy over the squeak and groan of the hinge as she closed the car door without locking it.
“You didn’t lock it.”
“Who’d steal that piece of shit?”
“Well that ‘piece of shit’ just saved my ass.” Mandy laughed as she took Kate’s hand in hers and held it while they walked to the bar.
“Who’s the hot number?” Joan yelled as they walked though the blue haze of smoke probably left over from the first day the dump opened back in some prehistoric time.
“That’s Kate,” Mandy shot back without breaking a smile.
“A real comedian. I mean you honey.”
“I’m Mandy. Kate pulled me out of a snowdrift and now she is going to warm me up with a drink.” Mandy’s smile filled her face.
“Yeah. She usually pulls chicks out from between hot sheets with her teeth.” Joan was an old broad that had been around the block, probably the whole damn mountain, more than a few times and was gruff with her words.
Mandy shoved a bar stool between her legs as though it was not the first time she had done that and then tossed her cap on the bar. “Brandy. Make that two,” she called to Joan as she held two fingers up like a peace sign.
Kate stared at Mandy as she stared back. “So you going to do that to me?”
“What?”
“Pull me from between hot sheets with your teeth?”
“Maybe?”
“Do I have to twist your arm?”
“Maybe?”
“It’s going on two weeks. Don’t usually wait that long between fucks.”
Mandy’s hand rested against the inside of Kate’s thigh as Joan put the glasses of brandy down and smiled for a moment before walking away. “Enjoy,” she mumbled without looking back.
“Where’d you move from?” Kate asked as she clinked their glasses together.
“I moved last week from just north of San Francisco. I’m a writer. Naughty lesbian love stories some, mostly trashy romance books for horny housewives. I’m working on my twenty-first one. My editor wants it done next month.”
“How’s it coming?”
“I come easily.” Mandy’s laugh roared and she held her stomach. “Sorry, couldn’t resist. Just finding myself unusually comfortable around you.”
“Thanks. Me too.”
Mandy leaned closer as her hand slid up along the inside of Kate’s thigh. The first kiss was intoxicating and they both struggled to stop not knowing if there was a way to get their tongues untangled from their tonsils.
“Hey!” Joan yelled from the other end of the bar just loud enough to encourage them to actually stop. Joan had tossed many people out for less at the bar. If they wanted to make out, they were supposed to go to the backroom, home, or somewhere else.
“Are you as good a writer as you are a kisser?”
Mandy leaned very close and whispered in Kate’s ear, “Can I read you some passages while I sit on your face?”
By now, it was becoming clear whatever perceptions Kate had about Mandy were all wrong. Kate had been with many women that could probe and suck her and get her off physically, but there was something different about Mandy and she wanted to know more about her.
“Maybe you would find my aroma exhilarating as you inhaled it deeply, filling your lungs? Would that make you cum?” As Mandy’s words filled Kate’s ear, her hand reached the top of the thigh and her thumb grazed the denim below the zipper.
Kate knew if there were panties under her jeans, they would be soaked already. The hot words and warm breath were overwhelming. The sweet sounds flowed from Mandy’s mouth and through her mind like the warm wetness dribbling from between her legs.
Mandy’s thumb continued to strum across the only thing that separated it from what she wanted her mouth to cover. “Are you enjoying this?” she cooed. “Maybe you could take me roughly the first time? Make me beg-g-g you to stop?” The pressure of the thump tip grew with each word. “You’d have to roll me in that snow drift back there to cool-l-l me down even a little. The snow would melt quickly. Especially in some places.”
The brandy glass went from nearly full to empty in a single gulp before Kate sat it back on the bar. She let out a warm sigh and took her hand from the glass, and then stood up. “I’ll follow you,” she said as she pushed the barstool against the bar with a soft thud.
The gravel road from the gate by the highway across the old Johnson ranch was long and wound over and around a few low hills before even the tops of the house and old rickety barn came into view. It had been years since any cattle had ever walked though the pastures and Kate was glad someone had at last taken control of the ranch. Ms Patty Johnson died eighteen months ago at the age of 83 and her long time partner Kitty, who was 86, passed just a month before that. Everyone kindly said Patty died of a ‘broken heart’.
Kate tossed her hat on the seat of the truck and slammed the door, then walked towards Mandy as she glanced at the house for the first time. Her fingers combed through her hair.
“It looks like you’ve been doing a lot of fixing up.”
“Yeah. It was a sad place when I first saw it. It’s perfect for me. Lots of solitude and privacy.”
“Perfect for laying around naked and dreaming up raunchy thoughts.”
“You got that right. I first saw it six months ago and had some gal carpenters fix it up for me. I knew what I wanted, but tools and I don’t get along well. Unless they are power tools for between my legs.”
Kate watched the tightly wrapped ass wiggle under the jeans as it moved up the two steps to the porch. The click of the lock turning sent a chill up her spine and then down to her clit as it turned back with another click and the key removed.
Mandy closed the door behind them and said, “Don’t want to lose the heat…in the house or me.”
The deep cream color of the ceiling that went so nicely with the dark brown of the walls and the finely refinished oak floors were both lost on them as their lips melted together and their tongues explored the warm wetness of the opening to their throats.
The roar of zippers zooming to the other end of their lengths echoed though the room as hands struggled to undress bodies and expose the steamy hot flesh begging to be touched and kissed. Unable to fit over their boots, their jeans rested around their ankles. Moans, squishing sounds, and the smell of begging mounds were all around them.
A large woolen oriental carpet filled most of the space between the couch and window in front of the fireplace. A slight push of Mandy’s chest against Kate left them lying on the soft nap of the carpet. “Better,” Mandy moaned before sucking their mouths together again.
“Our boots…” Kate started. “Fuck them,” Mandy replied as she pushed Kate’s legs high in the air. She wrapped her lips around the pink wet parts of Kate’s pussy. It was even lovelier that she had imagined, like a fine flower with a beautiful center. The succulent taste was one of the finest that had ever graced her lips.
As Kate floated slowly off the plateau of her first orgasm with Mandy, her arms fell to her side and soft groans flowed from her mouth. “You’re hired,” she teased.
Mandy sat a few feet from Kate as she removed her boots and the rest of her clothes. “And if you don’t like the way I taste or respond?” She began untying Kate’s boots and sat them neatly next to hers. Kate slipped a finger inside Mandy and then inside her mouth. Her lips puckered and moved along the shaft of the digit as she savored the thick coating. Her lips made a soft pop as the end of the finger fell away. “Ah-h-h,” she sighed. “At least a ten out of ten. A true blue ribbon prize taste.”
“Where are you going to stick the ribbon?”
“On that lovely ass of your that I so enjoyed watching as you walked up the steps not so long ago.”
“That piece of lard?”
“Baby, you dost protest too much. It is nice and firm.”
Mandy shoved Kate’s shoulders knocking her flat on her back and then held them against the carpet. “My turn,” she demanded as she straddled Kate’s upper thigh and began riding the flesh with long slow strokes of her hips. Her head rocked back and her mouth fell open as she groaned deep sighs of passion.
Kate’s finger poked at an erect nipple on the end of the breast that swayed over her face and rolled it around a few times before squeezing it and tugging at it. “Cum for me Mandy!” she yelled. “I want to see you quiver. I want to watch you.” The gaze was intense and long. “We can be tender later. Cum damn it!” The finger moved from the nipple to under the clit sliding along the sopping wet streak growing on her thigh. She pressed hard and rolled it around.
Mandy’s eyes rolled back, the eyelids closed, and the gasps grew louder. “Fuck yeah!” she screamed loud enough people outside could have heard.
“Talk to me,” Kate told her. “Talk real-l-l dirty.”
“I want your tongue deep inside of my cunt. I want a finger up my ass. Oh baby, you make me so wet. Love your pussy against my mouth. Those tits of yours.” Mandy’s words flew like words leaping from the page of a dirty book and Kate was about to start another orgasm just from the sounds of the woman on top of her.
The ripples across Mandy’s body continued for sometime after she lay quietly on top of Kate and just nibbled at her lips. “Kind of nice I spun off the road. You leave me spinning.” Between nibbles, Mandy would pause and look into Kate’s grey blue eyes and kiss the eyelids, all the while her thumbs would stroke Kate’s cheeks and the corner of her mouth.
“More brandy?” Mandy asked as she rolled onto the carpet and sat up with her hand lazily rubbing over one of Kate’s breasts. “If you’re not a NARC, we could split a joint. Nice and mellow stuff like back in the sixties.”
“The sheriff and I’ve shared a few together,” Kate giggled as she pushed her hands against the floor struggling a little to sit up. “I’m getting too old for the floor.” She groaned a little as she finally sat up straight and rubbed at her back.
Kate watched Mandy’s naked backside swish as she walked towards the kitchen. Mandy stretched to remove a brandy bottle from a high shelf, her skin moved nicely and a foot waved though the air. The almost empty sounding coffee tin rattled against the counter as she pulled the lid off and removed some rolling papers.
“Got this from an old rock star lover that shall remain nameless. It’s old like she was and it’s almost the last of the batch. She and I shared many a nice joint from this tin, and nice nights in bed too.”
“What happened? To her that is?”
“She was murdered. They think it was some kind of hit job. She had ripped of a big drug lord. Maybe it was the mob. Anyway…”
Kate’s old persona was kicking in as her breathing slowed along with her heart rate. “That’s too bad. Did they ever catch the asshole?”
“No. I think they gave up.”
Kate stood behind Mandy, her arms around Mandy’s waist. Her warm breath was blowing against Mandy’s neck as she watched the white paper rolling between the fingers of a single hand and around the small shards of weed. “Not the first time you’ve done that,” Kate kidded as Mandy pushed the joint between her lips and into her mouth, then pulled it back out.
“There’re other places to swab it that are nice too,” Mandy teased as she lit the end and inhaled deeply. “Maybe next joint.” The smoke drifted from her mouth and into the space between them. Six tokes each and the joint was gone. “Another joint and that would be…too much,” Mandy said as she pulled on Kate’s hand leading her towards the bedroom.
Mandy opened both sides of the French door and stared at the mountain. “That is what made me want THIS ranch.” Kate still stood in the doorway to the bedroom as she glanced around the pale cream walls and the cloudscape painted on the ceiling. The neatly turned down covers on one side of the king-sized bed exposed the Peter Max cloud sheets. Large faded black letters inscribed on the edge of the pillowcase spelled, ‘LOVE’. The rest of the writing was too faded to make out.
“Oh, just a memento from the woman that was killed. I don’t use them much anymore, but I thought she would like to look at the mountain,” Mandy said as she turned slightly to find where Kate was. “Guess you’ve seen the mountain too many times and think it’s boring by now. I can’t get over having it framed by this doorway. Rebuilt the whole room just so it would be.”
Kate strolled across the room letting her fingers touch the cloud sheets, then the dark brown cherry Mission styled footboard. She stood slightly behind Mandy and breathed deeply. “Love the way you smell.” Her fingertip slipped up the ridge of Mandy’s spine stopping for a second at the valley between each peak.
Mandy could feel a sensual chill flooding her body that left a big tingle in her clit. A step backwards, her body touched Kate’s, and she let a long held breath out slowly. Maybe it was that she had not really been with anyone since her friend died, maybe there was more. Mandy did know she was enjoying herself more than she had for a very long time. She turned in Kate’s arms until their nipples kissed and their mouths pressed gently together. “I hope you don’t have to work tomorrow so you can stay tonight,” Mandy said as she sprinkled pecks across Kate’s lips between words.
Fear raced though Kate as she realized what knowing Mandy really meant and how the truth would affect things. She was so used to a total lack of involvement in her meaningless relationships that she never had to confront this problem.
“That would be fun. And no I don’t have to work tomorrow.”
“What do you do?”
“Oh I’ve given up my business. These days I just try to enjoy myself.” Kate could feel the knot in her stomach growing tighter with each passing word. “I have some land and a small house a few more miles up the road. Not as nice as what you have.”
Mandy walked backwards and both of her hands pulled Kate closer to the edge of the bed. “We have all night,” she whispered as her fingers trailed over and around Kate’s breasts before her hands cupped around Kate’s face and pulled it closer.
Kate sat over a cloud on the sheet and pulled Mandy next to her. The kiss was even better than the one at the Deep Breath and Joan was not there to stop them.
The morning light poured over the ridgeline and into the bedroom. Kate moved first only to see it was 6:17. She groaned loudly forgetting she was not alone in bed. “What?” Mandy said as she pulled Kate’s back closer to her chest. “It feels nice to wake up with someone. Don’t you love morning after sex with bodies still all covered in sticky crusty juices?”
Kate rolled over and rested her hand over Mandy’s bottom with fingertips slightly between the cheeks. “You feel so nice against me.” She knew it was not very romantic, but it captured the essence of how she felt.
“Maybe you can come back. I don’t mean fuck you and toss you out like a used vibrator. I need to get some work done on my book or my editor will have my ass and not in a fun kind of way. Maybe tonight about six, I have some steaks.”
The shared shower probably took longer than Mandy expected, but they both enjoyed the chance to linger and let their hands slide over each other’s soapy wet skin. Mandy always found washing her lovers mound to be so very sensual, the way her hand would almost disappear completely inside. She often pictured what it would be like to have a hand completely inside her, but had always been afraid to try.
Kate opened her front door and Kat, her black and white mixed breed kitten, jumped into her arms. “Missed me didn’t you? Or are you just hungry?” She walked towards the kitchen muttering, “Cat Kat, Cat Kat.” Kat was the first live attachment for Kate. In the past, she had always needed to travel light and not develop such things, now she was just afraid of the past.
Kat’s face blocked the bowl as Kate tried to shake more dry food into it. Kate gave Kat a slight kick with her boot so the food would stop bouncing onto the floor. “There little one.” It was something her mother said to her so many years ago as they looked at her father on the floor; smoke still rising from the bullet wound through his forehead, and the pistol dangling from Kate’s eleven-year-old finger. He would not beat her mother again.
Kate left her computer turned on all the time, but was always afraid to check her three e-mail accounts. When she went into the witness protection program, she had changed her name and social security number, yet she was always looking over her shoulder wondering if someone would recognize her someday. Her days now were lonely and spent reading books, chopping wood, or working on the truck. Working on the truck took far more work than it should to keep it running, but she did not mind since it gave her something to do.
Kate gave Mandy a small hug and kiss. “I really did change clothes,” she said with a single spin on the toe one boot and her arms out like an ice skater. “Make any progress on the book?”
“What? You have ten identical plaid flannel shirts and five jeans.”
“Actually fifteen plaid shirts in the winter.” Kate chuckled as she pulled Mandy closer for a more appropriate hug and kiss. “Sorry, I really can be romantic you know. I’m not used to be around someone I want to be romantic with though.”
Mandy inhaled deeply and pushed Kate’s hand down her stomach and inside the waistband of her jeans until she could feel fingers touching her between the legs. “Actually I was hoping for some of that more than romance. I need a lot-t-t of that.”
Kate’s fingers plowed though the wetness and sensed the fragrance wafting up into her nostrils.
“You must have been writing about sex all day?”
“I stay pretty turned on anyway. But when I’m writing, it gets real crazy.”
“In that regard, we may match well.”
“I noticed yesterday.”
“Steaks or a fuck?”
“Don’t make me decide. Besides, what do you mean ‘a fuck’? Just one?”
It was three in the morning as the sliver of a silver moon dangled in the clear star filled sky while they shared a joint and lounged in the steaming water of the half wooden water tank that was now a hot tub.
“A shooting star,” Kate called out as she pointed halfway to the horizon. Her hand moved. “Another one.”
“What did you used to do before the nothing you do now?” Mandy asked as she fondled Kate’s clit not really trying to provoke an orgasm.
“I traveled a lot doing consulting. I had many lucrative contracts. Now I live very cheaply and am pretty happy.” There was not much more that Kate could explain and she hoped she could put off the other potential questions – forever. She had been good about that in the past, but she was a little out of practice now.
“I love to travel. These days my travel is often just for interviews, book signings, and readings. Do you still like to travel?”
“Actually, since I moved here, I’ve never been more than 100 miles away.”
“Maybe you can come with me on my next book trip?”
“You know I’d really like to. But I’ve developed a huge phobia about flying, 9/11 and all that.”
“Yeah, I hate the pat downs. The men screeners are always feeling me up.” Mandy chuckled.
“What?”
“Why don’t they call them pat ups?” Mandy chuckled again.
“You’re keeping one of my best customers away!” Joan barked at Mandy and then laughed to let her know she was only kidding. She dried the glass long enough to dry a dozen, pausing a few times to look at the spots that would never go away. “Oh fuck, the beer hides it,” she grumbled as she put it on the rack.
The trips to the Deep Breath had become further apart for Kate as they continued to sleep together most every night. When she did go, Brenda usually was with her. It had been three weeks since the last time.
“Sorry Joan. Kate fills a need.”
“I bet. She pulled you around the bed by her teeth yet?”
“Two bran…” Mandy started while ignoring Joan’s question. “Yeah honey. Two brandies for Mandy,” Joan replied as the bottom of two empty brandy glasses clinked against the bar.
The evening of the completion of ‘The Killer Lover’, Mandy’s new book and the two-month anniversary of their meeting, Kate drove towards the ranch gate and noticed the flashing blue lights on top of the police car driving towards the house. She continued down the highway until she reached a place to pull off.”
“Are you okay?” Kate asked as Mandy answered the phone.
“Yes. I’ll call you later.”
“I’m fucked!” Kate sobbed loudly and then hung up.
Kat meowed at Kate’s feet as she sat on the bed’s edge. Beside her was a suitcase packed with a few things. She held a gun to her temple. “What will I do now?” she screamed aloud as Kat pawed at her jeans. She lowered the gun and cleared the bullet from the chamber. She listened to the sound of a single car’s tires rolling over the gravel of the drive and stop. She cocked the gun again. She did not even have to see if there were flashing blue lights to know who had arrived.
“Kate! Kate!” Mandy screamed as she banged on the front door. “Kate! I need to talk to you!”
The banging continued and grew even louder as Kate sat stunned on the bed. It had always seemed like it would be a simple decision to just pull the trigger rather than all that not doing so would mean. Now it did not seem so simple and her hand shook while Mandy continued to call her name and bang on the door.
The weak lock easily gave way to the thrust of Mandy’s shoulder and the door flew open. Kate was sitting on the bed with the gun to her head as Mandy stopped in the door to the bedroom.
“NO! NO! Put it down!” Mandy screamed as she slammed her hands against her head and pulled on her hair. “I love you. Don’t pull that trigger!”
“But the cops? They’re out there. They told you about me didn’t they?” Kate began to lower the gun and laid it in her lap still cocked.
“What the hell are you talking about? They wanted more information about my friend’s murder. Someone has turned himself in.”
“Oh?” Kate groaned as she cleared the bullet from the chamber once again with a quick – click, click. “I was in some trouble once. Big trouble that I thought was behind me. I can’t go through that again. When I saw the flashing lights at your place, I was terrified that they were after me. Then I heard the car out front.”
Mandy pushed the gun and suitcase away and sat next to Kate, her arm around Kate’s waist and her mouth against Kate’s shoulder. “Listen, whatever the problem is, I want to work though it with you. I think I’m falling in love with you. I think you’re falling in love with me too.”
Kate twisted her head and watched Mandy push the short sleeve of her white undershirt up exposing the shoulder and resuming her nibbling on the bare skin. Mandy was right that they were both falling in love. It was a completely new experience for Kate, one that she had never felt in her life. She also knew whoever had turned himself in did not do it.
The afternoon was warm even though the first snows of the winter had come early and patches of white covered the green fields. Kate sipped a scotch on the rocks and Mandy started the second chapter of a new book.
“Do you have a title yet?” Kate yelled.
Slightly louder than the clicking keys of the laptop, she replied, “Nope.”
“Going to the mailbox,” Kate said as she passed Mandy. “Think I’ll walk today.” The mile and a half walk was always good exercise, but when the weather was bad, she would just drive her truck. Almost to the mailbox, she saw the mail truck pull away and she thought, ‘how strange, he’s an hour late today’. The mailman, Sam, was always there by one; two at the latest, and now it was already three-thirty. Kate had made the long walk one time and was early. She had sworn that would not happen again.
Kate flipped though the four-inch pile of letters while leaving the six magazines in the large rural mailbox. “Bill,” “Bill,” “Junk,” “Junk,” she called out as she looked at each envelope. “Fuck!” she screamed when she noticed the beginning of the return address – District Attorney. “Fuck Me!” she yelled aloud repeatedly for the first quarter mile of the long trip back to the house. As she walked and ran though the cooling afternoon air, she nervously ripped the buttons away from her trademark flannel shirt. “Can’t I just hide this?” she cried out as she ripped at another button as if to rip the heart from her chest. “No. Maybe it is good news,” she whispered aloud as the door slammed behind her.
“Good news?” Mandy called out as she walked towards Kate. “What happened to you? A panther?” she asked as she looked at the disheveled appearance of Kate’s shirt. Mandy tore the letter open in an unusual show of messiness instead of using the letter opener.
‘This is to inform you the charges against Richard J. Smith have been dropped due to lack of evidence to support his confession. We will continue to keep you informed of any progress in this case.’
“Goddamn Bastard!” she screamed as she dropped the letter and ran through the house towards the backdoor and out into the field. Kate chased after her, but Mandy was a much faster runner. Kate followed the shrieks over the next two hills before finding Mandy sitting on her favorite bluff overlooking the valley that contained Coldwater.
Kate sat behind Mandy, her legs resting on either side of Mandy’s hips. She massaged Mandy’s shoulders without saying anything at first. She could tell that Mandy was beyond upset – way, way beyond. It would take a bigger fool than Kate to not realize that. Eventually Kate offered soft sweet reassurances that she loved her and wanted to help. Mandy’s tears did not stop. Kate knew she would have to take this secret to her grave. She also knew if Mandy ever found out she would put her in one.
As Kate nibbled down Mandy’s neck, she asked, “Can we make love out here?” Kate was not expecting an answer, especially one of agreement.
“I knew it was too good to be true. I jinxed it by writing that last fucking book. I shouldn’t have written about her murder.”
“Isn’t it enough that we are together? I love you so much…” Kate’s voice tapered off knowing it would never matter.
The tears flowed as Mandy twisted and fell into Kate’s arms. “Rape me you bitch!” she suddenly screamed as if possessed. “Just fuck me like the murderer I am. I killed her! They’ll never know.” Mandy swung a fist at Kate and missed. She stood and began ripping her clothes off without even trying to salvage anything. Each fingernail cut deep into her skin and blood began to drip from the wounds. Mandy kicked at Kate landing a few good kicks to the side. “Go ahead and rape me you god…damn…son of a bitch.” Mandy was out of control and getting more so by the second as she ran naked in circles around Kate inflecting even more scratches on herself.
The adrenaline surged though Kate’s body as it had before every contract kill, and she wrestled Mandy hard to the ground, her head slamming into the mud. She shoved her hand hard against Mandy’s bare crotch and forcibly ground the pink wet flesh into her palm. “Coat my hand fucker. Cum on me like the dreadful scum you are.” As she yelled the worst and most vile thoughts possible at Mandy, she found herself purging the darkness that lurked inside her. She leaned down and bit hard on the bottom of Mandy’s left breast breaking the skin and leaving a trail of new blood on both women. They rolled repeatedly across rocks and though the mud and grass as they yelled and clawed at each other. The dark rage that raced from them both filled the growing darkness of the late afternoon.
Drained, exhausted, and muddy, they lay naked on their backs several yards from each other in the waning sunlight and a dozen yards from the shredded material that had once been their clothing. Gradually Kate began to stir as her strength slowly returned. She sat partially while leaning on one elbow. “What was that all about?”
“Didn’t you enjoy it? I know you did. I could feel the passion and love.”
“But the letter?”
“Darling…I’ve known what really happened since the cops came that day. Someone I know at the DA’s office mailed that letter for me. I knew even before I watched you with the gun to your head how much I loved you. I’ve known you killed her all this time and I don’t fucking care anymore. You mean too much to me. You are all I care about now. This was the only way I could break through the shield you kept around you.”
“How can you love me? I just don’t get it.”
“Just know I do. If it gets to be a problem, we can just come back to the bluff and do this again. Even if we need to do this every goddamn month, we will do whatever it takes for us to be together.”
Hand in hand and naked, they walked back to the house as the last rays of the sun glowed bright orange against their backs.
The muddy blood red water circled round and round the edge of the shower drain before spiraling out of sight as they stood with fingertips lightly touching each other’s sides and nibbling on the other’s lips.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved,” Kate whispered so softly that she almost could not hear herself. She cleared her throat a little before saying louder, “Mandy, you are the only person I’ve ever loved and I can’t live without you.”
“I know. I’ve also known since the first night that you might not be able to love me the way I could love you. After she died, I never thought I could love anyone. There was some kind of shell and I knew it would not break easily for either of us. It will be years still…maybe never…before this is behind us. Let’s just love each other as best we can.”
The water ran cold long before they stepped from the shower. “Let me dry you,” Kate begged as she patted the drops of water from Mandy’s shoulders with the thick fluffy white towel. A puddle began to form around their feet.
“Anything…as long as you are with me.”
That night they drifted off into a pleasant dream on the cloud sheets as they cuddled together.
-o-O-o-