Loading...As I sat in the window seat watching the rain and the wind causing waves on the normally still lake, I could only help wonder at how the weather reflected my mood. Yesterday had been gloriously sunny and calm and everything had been good in my life. Now my heart was broken and my emotions were threatening to drown me in a torrential downpour from which I could find no shelter.
How could I have been so stupid? Why couldn’t I just leave things alone? Why did I have to push you away from me? Why couldn’t I just accept your love as it was?
I thought back to the day we first met 5 years ago. It had never occurred to me that I might find love with another woman until I went to a gay club with my best friend Rob.
We were dancing with abandon when a petite girl with short brown bed hair and deep brown eyes made her way across the dance floor towards us. She was obviously flirting and I kind of felt sorry for her making all that effort to flirt with a guy who was never going to be interested in her.
Eventually it dawned on me – we’re in a gay club! She knows Rob’s gay. She’s gay. She’s flirting with me!
I turned to Rob with wide eyes, not sure what to do.
“Oh hell Rob, she’s flirting with me, I ought to tell her I’m straight”
His laugh was hearty and honest as he leant down to my ear so I could hear him above the music.
“Are you sure about that? You go out with guys but you never really want to sleep with them and you end every relationship before things get vaguely serious – why not just go with the flow and see what happens?”
I stared at him gob smacked. What the hell was he talking about? But he just grinned at me and turned his back on me to dance with a cute guy that had caught his eye earlier.
I turned back to look at the girl and found her stifling a laugh. She’d obviously heard every word we’d said and I felt like crawling under a rock and hiding.
“You look terrified, am I really that frightening?” she asked laughing.
“You look like you could do with something to calm your nerves, at least let me buy you a drink? I promise I won’t bite”
She turned and deftly wound her way through the dancers to the bar with me trailing lamely in her wake.
“What are you drinking or shall I surprise you?”
“Oh I’ll have whatever you’re having” I replied trying not to let my tongue tie me in knots. Why the hell do I feel so nervous? It’s not like I haven’t been hit on by girls before; what happened to my usual answer of ‘I’m flattered but straight, sorry’?
I’d lost sight of her as she elbowed her way to the crowded bar but she was back in a flash with 2 tall glasses that looked like they contained fruit juice. I took a long pull on my drink and quickly realised that it wasn’t nearly as innocent as it looked – but it was delicious!
“I have no idea what’s in that but I like it”
“It’s a secret recipe of my own creation. Maybe I’ll divulge it to you when I know you better” she said as she smiled at me while ruffling her short fluffy hair in a really engaging way.
I couldn’t help watching her every move and mannerism, she seemed so self assured and comfortable that I felt like a bumbling idiot by comparison.
She grabbed my hand and led me outside onto the veranda and we were lucky enough to find a table in a quiet area near the back. Most of the tables we passed contained people kissing or groping each other, not caring that they were in full sight of everyone else.
As we sat down she took my hand in a formal hand shake and said “Hi, my name’s Chris”
“Kate, pleased to meet you”
She grinned at me and I noticed that although she’d stopped shaking my hand it was still clasped firmly in hers.
“Well, now we’ve been formally introduced maybe you’ll stop looking so terrified? So what’s a gorgeous straight girl like you doing in a place like this? Are you just here to drive us dykes wild with unrequited passion?”
I nearly dropped my glass but managed to recover my composure as I mentally told myself to just chill out and enjoy myself – we’re just having a drink right?
“It seems that my friend has decided that I’m not straight, despite the evidence to the contrary. Wait ’til I catch up with the bugger later!”
And that was it. We talked about everything and anything and found that we had lots in common including a love of motorbikes and eclectic music tastes. We got on so well that time flew by and the next time I looked at my watch I was astounded to find we’d sat outside in the summer night for 2 hours chatting and drinking.
“Oh my god, I’d better go and find Rob or he’ll think I’ve abandoned him!”
I stood up to go and suddenly felt awkward again but Chris came to my rescue by standing and giving me a big friendly hug and a peck on the cheek and saying that she’d had a nice time. She pressed a card into my hand that read ‘Chris Taylor, Area Sales Manager’ and she’d scrawled a mobile number on the back.
“Any time you want to hook up for a drink and a chat, give me a call”
“I will, I promise” I kissed her cheek and walked into the club to look for Rob wondering if she was watching me as I walked away.
I found Rob quickly but didn’t know what to do. He was kissing deeply with the cute guy he’d been dancing with and I didn’t want to intrude, but I slipped over to him and tapped him on the shoulder gently.
I’d been to clubs with Rob plenty of times before and we had our routine worked out.
“I’m wacked, reckon I’ll go grab a cab soon” equated to I’m happy to leave on my own – do you want to stay longer?
“I thought I’d hang out a bit longer” meant I like this guy, are you sure you don’t mind me ignoring you / leaving you to go home alone?
“No problem Babe, enjoy the rest of your evening. Call me tomorrow” and I kissed the top of his head and walked away.
I’d picked the wrong time to leave as there wasn’t a cab in sight but the queue of waiting people was horrendous so I decided to go back inside and have another drink and hope that it was better in half an hour.
As I was standing at the bar waiting to be served a familiar voice sounded in my ear.
“I could have sworn I just saw you leave the club on your own, I thought I’d driven you away?”
The sound of her voice sent an unexpected shiver through me and the hair on the back of my neck stood up on end.
I turned to face her and found myself staring at her lips, inspecting her features as if committing them to memory, and then I did something I’ll never forget. I took her face in my hands and kissed her briefly but tenderly on the lips.
I’m not sure who was more startled. Chris stared at me in amazement as a smile spread across her face.
“You’ve never done that before have you?”
“No. That obvious huh?”
“Only because of the look on your face, what made you kiss me? Not that I’m complaining”
“Because I wanted to; I don’t know why because I’ve never wanted to kiss a woman before but if I’m being honest I’d quite like to do it again.”
Chris took my hand and led me back out onto the veranda where our table was still free. We sat and just looked at each other for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity until slowly Chris leant towards me and planted her lips on mine. She kissed me softly and slowly and I felt her tongue probing against my lips, so I parted them slightly and allowed her to kiss me fully and deeply until I pulled away in need of air.
“Oh my god!” my breath caught in my throat and my heart was beating like a drum. I looked into those deep brown eyes and knew I had to have more.
“Will you do that again – please?”
Chris placed a hand behind my neck and drew me towards her and this time our lips locked fiercely with passion and urgency. As our tongues swirled and probed I became increasingly aware of my body responding in a way that no kiss had ever prompted before. I was floating in a dreamy cloud and could feel my nipples hardening against the confines of my bra and there were little electric shocks pulsing from my clit. Was it possible to cum from just a kiss? Suddenly a glass smashed behind me and I was jolted back to reality as drunken shouts made me all too aware of my surroundings.
Chris’ voice was deep and husky as she took my hands in hers.
“We could take this somewhere more private if you like?”
In that instant I knew that if I left with Chris I wouldn’t be satisfied with a kiss and a moment’s doubt flashed across my mind, quickly erased by the look of lust in her eyes
“I think I’d like that” and I stood and took her hand, willing her to lead me somewhere, anywhere we could be alone.
Her brother ran the club and she took me through a door at the rear of the bar and up 3 flights of narrow Victorian stairs into the living quarters above, the music receding as we climbed higher.
We stood on the landing and she looked like she was trying to make her mind up about something.
“The living room’s in there but it’s usually a tip and my brother might disturb us. My bedroom is just through there if you’d prefer?” Her eye’s searching my face to gauge my reaction, I knew this was a question about much more than location and I amazed myself by pushing her towards the bedroom door bodily.
As the door shut behind me I took Chris into my arms and hugged her tightly relishing the feeling of holding her female form so close to mine. Could I really have got it so wrong for all those years?
“I don’t know what to do, will you teach me?”
“Oh yes, but don’t worry, it’ll come to you. Just think about all the things that you wished your boyfriends had done for you”
Her lips found my neck causing me to shiver and as her hands ran down my sides, lightly brushing the edges of my breasts I couldn’t stop a small moan escaping my lips. She sat me on the bed and looked into my eyes.
“You’re sure you want to do this? You can still say no if you want to”
Her pupils were dilated which I found deeply erotic and I answered her by raising a shaky hand up to her throat and tracing the V of her Tee shirt down towards her breasts. The air seemed too thick to breathe as she started to slowly unbutton my shirt, never once taking her eyes off mine, constantly checking for consent as she slipped it off my shoulders and it fell to the bed.
She stood and pulled her Tee shirt over her head and as she undid her bra I could see her big dark nipples standing firm and erect and suddenly I had to suck them.
I stood and stared at them, unsure of myself until she smiled and said “Go ahead honey, just go with the flow and do what you feel”
So I bent and took the first one into my mouth like a starving baby. I suckled greedily as Chris reached behind me to let my own breasts fall free and as she cupped one of them in her hand and caressed the nipple with her thumb I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Chris lifted my head from her breast and pulled me into a tight embrace, and as she kissed me the sensation of feeling our naked skin pressing against each other was driving me wild with a passion & desire I had never felt for a man. Sex for me had always been something I could take or leave but I was beginning to see why other people considered it a big deal – I’d obviously been doing it with the wrong people!
Chris pushed me gently backwards onto the bed without once taking her lips away from mine, as she lay beside me I felt her hand tracing light circles on my stomach – her touch was so gentle I could barely feel it but she was making me tingle deliciously. Her hand came up to my breasts and she trapped one swollen nipple between finger and thumb making it so erect it was almost painful, and as she started to nibble my ear I thought I would lose it there and then.
“Are you ready to take the next step baby?” she purred into my ear.
I could barely speak but managed to nod and the squeak that escaped my mouth must have been taken as a yes as she lifted herself from the bed and leant down to undo the button on my jeans as I watched her full breasts sway down towards me slightly.
My zip was lowered and she slipped her hands under my arse to raise my hips so she could pull my jeans off.
“Want to take it slowly and save some for later or just go for broke”
“Do it” I growled back, and she grabbed the waistband of my panties with my jeans and peeled them both over my legs swiftly and efficiently.
Suddenly I was aware of my complete nakedness in front of a relative stranger, but instead of feeling scared or embarrassed I felt wild & empowered. I stood up and kissed Chris deeply as I undid her combat trousers and they fell to her ankles. I felt for her panties and gasped as I realised she wasn’t wearing any and my hands were now spread over her naked arse.
Chris stepped away from me and did a twirl, “like what you see?” she purred at me
“Oh god yes” I answered honestly; she’d had a beautiful body hidden under her baggy combats and tee shirt; her legs were shapely and firm and they met at a small triangle of neatly trimmed, very short dark hair. She was tanned and her skin was the colour of warm caramel. Her arse was tight and high and I guessed she worked out as her stomach was flat with a perfect little dimple of a belly button. My eyes were drawn back to those beautifully pert but full breasts and I was mesmerized by a small tattoo under her left breast of a broken heart.
“It’s a reminder” she stated as she caught me looking “Never to fall in love too deeply, and never to be too reliant on anyone else, it hurts too much when it goes wrong. Anyway let’s not waste time talking, there are other things I want to be doing with my mouth right now” and she laid me back down on the bed and fell on top of me, covering my mouth with hers and kissing me hungrily while her hands seemed to be all over my body.
I had never been this turned on before and I ran my hands over every inch I could reach; stroking, kneading and digging my fingers into her arse cheeks as I held her tight against my body, feeling her skin against mine and revelling in the sensation. I felt our mounds press against each other causing such delicious warmth that seemed to spread from my tummy outwards.
When Chris shifted position I tried to keep hold of her but she just placed a finger against my lips. She kissed my neck and throat and planted butterfly kisses in between my breasts. She took one of my nipples into her mouth and I cried out loud at the way her tongue teased my hard, sensitive bud as she drove me wild. She moved onto the other nipple until I could feel myself coming from her teasing tongue and her hands. The feel of her soft skin caressing mine was such an incredible sensation and so unlike any sexual encounter I had ever had before; the attention Chris was lavishing on me so unselfishly made me feel truly desired but I tried to make her stop, I didn’t want it to be over so soon but she lightly bit me and I tipped over the edge into my first ever orgasm with a woman, and she’d only been playing with my tits!
She kissed my nipples slowly as I sighed and moaned but she hadn’t finished with me yet. I felt her hand spreading my legs and opened them eagerly for her. I knew I must be soaked and I felt her finger slip between my lips easily.
She ran her finger the full length of my slit and brushed my clit lightly with her thumb sending sparks flying through my brain. Before I could recover she did it again, and again, and again and just as I thought things couldn’t get any better she inserted a finger and drove it into me, curving it into my G spot and making my back arch off the bed so much I thought I would pull muscles.
She caressed me gently but firmly and as I lowered myself back onto the bed she slipped further down until I could feel her hot breath on my pussy. She smiled at me wickedly as she blew gently on my opening, watching my eyes for the reactions she was causing in me.
“I think you’re going to enjoy this baby, just lay back and relax and let me show you how good it can be” and with that her tongue flicked hard against my clit sending me to new heights. She inserted a 2nd finger and continued to stroke them in and out of my sopping pussy while her tongue danced around my swollen clit. I clasped her head between my legs as I rode the waves of pleasure coursing through my body, but each time I was about to lose control completely she slowed her fingers and eased the pressure on my clit and left me growling with frustration.
“Please, please finish me” I choked, nearly sobbing with need and as Chris took pity on me and sucked my engorged clit into her mouth, sucking hard while grazing her teeth against my tender button she inserted a 3rd finger and began to fuck me hard and fast.
My head swam and I felt like my blood was fizzing in my veins as I succumbed to the most intense orgasm; screaming and crying out at the top of my lungs without a care for who might hear. Chris again slowed things down but just as I started to come back down she suddenly replaced her fingers with her tongue and brought her slippery fingers down so that they toyed with my tightly puckered arse.
I was shocked. No one had ever done this to me before – I hadn’t even done it to myself, but her tongue in my pussy was keeping my brain too occupied to object and as soon as her finger penetrated the opening to my anus I was tumbling head first into another heart stopping climax which left me weeping openly.
Chris disentangled herself from my legs and brought her dripping face to mine and kissed me slowly and deeply, sharing my juice with me.
I stared into her eyes not knowing what to say; somehow ‘thank you’ seemed wholly inadequate but my words caught in my throat as I fought back sobs of joy.
This woman had shown me a side of myself I had no idea existed, and with it had allowed me to see the pleasure that could be had from sex and what it was to be loved by a woman.
“Can you stay tonight?”
“Oh course. I need to learn how to do that to you.”
“You will, but not tonight”
I tried to reciprocate, eager to learn, but Chris just wrapped me in her arms and pulled the big soft duvet over us. As I lay with my head on her breast listening to her heartbeat my mind was racing and I couldn’t believe she was suggesting we sleep, but in the space of a couple of minutes I could feel myself relax and sleep washed over me as I lay cradled in her arms feeling safe and cherished.
I awoke the next morning to find Chris sat naked on the end of the bed staring at me. I smiled sleepily at her and she came back to bed to resume my lesson. We spent the whole day talking and cuddling and fucking, only leaving the bedroom to visit the bathroom or collect pizza from the delivery guy and by the time I left that evening I had learned many ways to give Chris the pleasure she had given me.
I learnt that she was extremely ticklish and that she found it a turn on, I learnt that if I sucked her nipples hard while flicking my tongue against them it drove her wild, I learnt that when she was being eaten she liked it hard and fast – but that slow and firm made her pant in anticipation, I learnt that when she came her whole body tensed like a spring and she shuddered violently, but most of all I learnt that I enjoyed all of these things more than I had ever enjoyed being with anyone else, and by the end of the day I knew I was in love for the first time.
As I came back to reality from my memory I realised that it had grown dark outside and the rain washing down the window pain was mirrored by the tears streaming down the reflection of my face in the window.
Five years we had been companions and had been faithful to one another, but Chris stuck to her resolve and never let herself make any kind of real commitment to me.
Oh, I knew she loved me but I wanted more and this morning as she’d stepped naked out of the shower I had knelt down and kissed that broken heart tattoo.
I’d looked into her eyes and said the words that had driven her from my arms.
“Baby, can we move in together? I love you & I know you love me, I’m never gonna hurt you baby I promise. Please make me yours?”
She’d dressed so quickly and looked so angry I couldn’t think what to say to her. As the door slammed and I heard her gun the engine of the car I sat in stunned silence on the end of the bed as my whole world fell apart around me. I had demolished our life together with a few simple words and then I received your text
‘I’m sorry. I can’t do it but I can’t keep stringing you along either. It’s probably best we call it a day. Chris x’
I’d texted straight back saying I was sorry. Begging her to come back to me, pleading for things to go back to how they were before I opened my mouth, promising never to pressure her again. There had been no response and I felt her absence like a block of ice resting behind my rib cage.
My leg had gone to sleep from hours of sitting on the hard window seat and I limped over to the drinks cabinet and poured myself a generous measure of whiskey. It was a single malt that Chris really liked and I rolled it around inside my mouth letting the fumes drift up my nose and feeling the gentle fire as I swallowed the pale golden liquor.
I lit the fire but neither the whiskey nor the burning logs could drive the chill from my heart and I sat shivering on the hearth rug with a blanket wrapped around me.
I woke in the early hours stiff and cold. The fire had burned down and I hauled myself up and walked to the bedroom turning off lights as I went. When the house was in darkness I realised something was wrong – there was light coming into the house from outside. I don’t have close neighbours and there are no street lights around the lake so where was the light coming from?
Pulling the blanket tightly around me I opened the front door and peered out. I stood there trembling as I recognised the shape of Chris’ car halfway down the long driveway from the road. The engine was switched off but the lights were on & I nervously walked towards it in the darkness. The car was empty, but as I looked in the direction of the headlights I saw her standing on the jetty staring out over the lake, the car lights picking out the drops of rain that were soaking the light summer jacket she had put on so hurriedly that morning.
I walked towards her and as I moved in front of the car and disturbed the beams of light she turned, startled, and stared at me as I walked forward not knowing what to expect.
“Hey”
“Kate”
“You’re getting pretty wet there, want to share my blanket?”
“No, I don’t deserve to be comfortable.”
It was then I saw the redness rimming those beautiful eyes and the streaks of mascara running down her face. She looked so lost and pitiful that my own hurt and anger melted away and I walked over and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders as she struggled lamely to push me away. Leading her into the house I sat her down on the sofa and added logs and kindling to the embers of the dying fire and poured Chris a large glass of the same whiskey I’d been drinking earlier.
As the fire started to catch and crackle I left Chris with her thoughts and went and heated up the homemade soup we had been going to have for lunch. I was at a loss as to what to say to her, my own thoughts were whirling through my brain but I somehow instinctively knew it was better not to ask too many questions or push her to talk to me until she was ready.
Chris and I had always been honest and open with each other and no subject had ever been taboo apart from that part of her past that had caused her to harden her heart. Even after 5 years I had no understanding of why she had made such a conscious decision to stay so self-reliant and not allow anyone too close.
I walked back into the living room carrying a tray laden with big bowls of hearty soup, crusty bread and steaming mugs of tea. Chris had drunk the whiskey and was sitting staring at the fire cradling the empty glass in her hands. She didn’t look up at me as I placed the tray on the coffee table and she didn’t even seem to notice when I took the glass from her hands. She was shivering badly despite the heat now coming from the roaring fire, so I took the damp blanket from around her shoulders and replaced it with a huge warm fluffy towel. I tried to suggest that she get changed into dry clothes, but it was as if I wasn’t there and she stared straight through me at the flames.
I sank to the floor and slowly scooted closer to her until I was sat at her feet. I lifted the bowl of soup and filled a spoon with the warming broth and raised it to her lips. At first she ignored me but I persisted until she reluctantly opened her soft lips to let me feed her. After about half the soup was gone she finally looked at me; the sobs started gently but soon turned into wracking heaves that looked like they would tear her in two.
I slipped up onto the sofa beside her and gently pulled her into my embrace, shushing and soothing her in an attempt to calm her distress and it seemed to be working until suddenly she jumped up off the sofa shedding the towel and stood glaring at me.
“How can you do this? How can you be so fucking nice and good to me after what I did to you this morning? Why don’t you just tell me to get out of your house and go fuck myself?”
My own tears were now coursing down my face as I stared at those big brown eyes that were flashing with anger – at me or at her I couldn’t tell.
“Because I love you” I choked “I’ve always bloody loved you, from the first moment you came sashaying across the dance floor I’ve loved you. Since you turned my life upside down and taught me who I am I’ve loved you. What I don’t understand is how you could think I would want to be anything BUT good to you!”
“I’m sorry Chris, I worship the bloody ground you walk on and maybe that’s unhealthy but it’s the way it is. Why the hell can’t you just be straight with me? If you don’t love me then fine – walk back out into the rain and never come back, but if you do then start talking. Something must have made you come back here tonight and I’m hoping it was me!”
I hadn’t meant to shout at her but the force of my words shocked the anger from her face and she slumped back down to the sofa.
“Talk to me girl, who the hell broke your heart so badly that you’re prepared to walk away from the last 5 years of happiness just in case it happens again?”
“You’d hate me just as I hate myself for letting it happen. I want to tell you but I’m scared. Can I sleep on it and deal with it tomorrow?”
I decided that even this was progress of sorts so that night as I lay on my own in bed listening to Chris tossing and turning on the sofa I prepared myself for anything that she had to say the next day but was determined that she was going to finally tell me what was going on.
I woke to a thunder clap that sounded as though Hades had been torn in two. The pale morning light was suddenly bright with lightening and another deeper, longer rumble of thunder made my chest vibrate.
I turned over and instinctively reached for Chris’ body before I woke fully and the day before came cascading back into my mind unbidden.
I lay perfectly still, holding my breath as I listened for the sounds of Chris sleeping on the sofa but I could hear nothing. I sat up in bed already knowing she had left and as I looked out of the bedroom window and saw the empty space where her car had been my worse fears were confirmed.
“Goddammit!” I threw myself back down onto the pillows and pulled the duvet over my head, startled as something slid down from the pillows and touched my neck.
I stared at the envelope for a long time trying to muster the strength to open it. Just the word ‘Kate’ was written on the front in that familiar untidy scrawl I had come to recognise so well. I felt sure I knew what it contained and was saddened to think that after all this time Chris hadn’t had the guts to speak to me in person and had dumped me via a ‘dear john’ letter. Maybe I should throw it onto the fire! I stormed out of bed and into the lounge but quickly realised that the fire had died out hours ago so in resignation I tore then envelope open and removed the contents.
‘My Darling Kate,
How can I ever apologise enough to you? How can I ever be what you want me to be when I can’t be free? If I tell you all will you hate me for my selfishness?
I realise that you deserve to know the truth, so here goes….
3 years before I met you I had my first lesbian encounter with a girl I shared a flat with when I got my first job. She seduced me and made me realise what could be much as I did for you, but with one crucial difference – I didn’t love her. Unfortunately it seems that she did love me, so what I deemed to be a fun exciting adventure was a true romance for her. It’s no excuse but I was young, and as I’d recently been awakened to the possibilities I wanted to try out my new found sexuality.
I won’t bore you with the details but she came home early from work one day to find me in bed with another woman and walked in through the front door just as I was experiencing a screaming orgasm with my lover’s face between my legs.
The argument that followed was horrible and it became obvious very quickly that what I saw as I bit of an adventure she took as I lasting monogamous relationship; the result was that I moved out of the flat immediately and went to stay with friends. She called me constantly, asking how she could put things right, begging me to go back, saying she would be what I wanted her to be but I seldom took her calls and when I did I was cruel to her – telling her to stop stalking me.
Then one day she sent me a red rose with a note saying that if I didn’t go back to her then I could lay the rose on her grave. I thought that was the most manipulative thing in the world and I agreed with my friends when they said I should ignore it – she was just playing for sympathy.
I turned out that I was wrong. One of her friends found her the next day and she’d swallowed a bottle of pills and drunk a whole lot of vodka, she died on the way to the hospital.
So – now you know my dirty, guilty little secret. I know how bad it can be when you let yourself love completely because I was once loved that way and I let them down, and I’ve been living with the consequences ever since.
I’m scared of loving someone so much that I could be hurt badly enough to take such drastic action and I don’t think I deserve to be happy when I’ve denied that happiness to someone else.
I’m sorry I wasn’t straight with you sooner; I should never have let you believe I was worth your love.
Take care my darling,
C
xxx
The tears were streaming down my face as I read the letter over and over again. My god, she hadn’t had her heart broken – she was guilty of breaking someone else’s heart. Of all the things I’d been preparing myself for this had never crossed my mind.
I reached for the phone and hit speed dial 1 and after what seemed like an age her groggy voice came on the line with a wary “Hey”
“Hey yourself girl, where the hell are you?”
“Didn’t you get my note?”
“Oh yeah, I got it. I read it too and I still adore you! I wish you’d talked to me about this earlier babe, you’ve been carrying all that guilt around with you and you have to let it go. And you certainly don’t have to worry about me breaking your heart in that way because it just won’t happen; now get your arse back here and talk to me while I cook us a proper breakfast”
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening and I thought I’d somehow blown it again, but eventually she said “Honey there’s something I have to do before I come home, can you give me a couple of hours?”
“Sure, call me when you’re nearly here” and she was gone.
After a leisurely bath I tidied the house and did a few odd jobs but my mind kept wandering and I couldn’t focus on any task for more than a few minutes. Eventually the phone rang and I grabbed it quickly when I saw Chris’ number on the display.
“Where are you baby?”
“I’ll be there in about 30 minutes if you’re still sure you want me to come back?”
“I’m not going to say this again – I want you back here right now and I want you to talk to me when you get here, but we’ll do it slowly at your pace, ok?”
“OK, listen I’ve spent most of the last day and a half in the car would you run me a bath? And Kate – I do love you””
The sound of Chris’ car on the gravel sent me flying to the door and she looked so dishevelled and tired it was all I could do not too crush the breath from her lungs as I hugged her to me.
I led her to the bathroom and tried to help her undress but she became shy and coy and said she could manage. Chris had never, ever objected to me undressing her before and I must have looked worried but she smiled a tired smile at me, kissed me gently and told me not to worry.
I left her to take her bath while I cooked us a huge brunch of bacon, eggs, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes and toast and made an enormous pot of strong tea.
Chris came into the kitchen wrapped in a big fluffy robe and her soft fluffy brown hair was damp and spiky.
I placed an enormous plate of food in front of both of us neither of us spoke until we had eaten our fill and had made up for not eating properly the day before.
“God I needed that, thanks Kate” and she took my hand across the table and turned it over so she could kiss my palm.
“Want to talk yet?” I asked gently
“I want to talk, and I want you to listen and only speak when I ask you a question. I will tell you everything but there’s something else I need to say first, is that ok?”
“Like I said, at your own pace Babe
Chris led me to the sofa and sat me down, I expected her to sit with me but she started pacing the living room nervously. I started to say something but she shushed me impatiently, reminding me of my promise to listen.
“Do you love me Kate? I mean not just love me, but are you IN love with me?”
“Yes Chris, I love you with all my heart”
“Can you forgive me for keeping my secret from you for five whole years?”
“Yes baby, I’d like to help you get over it”
“Do you have any regrets about the last 5 years?”
“Hell no! I wouldn’t have wanted to spend them with anyone else”
“I was your first girl; are you sure you don’t want to see what it’s like out there before you commit yourself to me?”
“I’ve been committed to you from day one – if I wanted to sow my wild oats I’d have done it by now! Listen Chris, ….”
“Will you marry me” she blurted out cutting me off mid sentence
“What?”
And as she sank down to sit with me on the sofa she pulled the most beautiful Celtic ring from the pocket her robe. “I know you don’t like diamonds and bling, but I thought you’d like this? Please marry me? I’ve been so stupid; I nearly threw away the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you Kate, spend the rest of your life with me?”
Her eye’s shone as she searched my face for an answer. The grin that spread across my face said it all and she held me tightly to her until she became puzzled by my laughter.
I jumped up and ran to the bedroom, returning with a small blue box which I handed to her as I sat down. Her face was a picture of bewilderment as she opened the box and found a plain white gold band inside with ‘Be mine’ inscribed inside.
“When I asked you to make me yours yesterday I was leading up to giving you that – I was gong to ask you to marry me!”
We fell into each other’s arms and as our lips came together there was no hesitation; just an urgency and desire to put the worry and hurt of the previous day behind us and to celebrate a new level of understanding.
Chris pushed me back onto the sofa and covered my body with hers while our tongues danced and probed as we kissed like teenagers. I reached up between us and cupped Chris’s left breast in my hand and she winced with pain.
“What’s the matter, are you hurt?”
“Not any more” and she pushed the robe off her shoulders and let it fall open to her waist. The beautiful little broken heart tattoo had been mended and made whole, and my name had been added underneath. It brought tears to my eyes to see her sore skin and I knew I loved her more in that moment than ever before.
“Come to bed baby” and I took her hand and led her to the bedroom where I stripped her of the robe and let my own clothes fall to the floor in a heap.
There was a real tenderness in our lovemaking and we lay on our sides facing each other as we gently stroked each other’s bodies while staring into each others eyes. As Chris took my nipple between her thumb and finger I gasped “I remember the first time you did that – it still drives me insane” and she bent her head to take the other nipple into her mouth to nibble and suck teasingly until I was moaning with desire. Reluctantly I pulled her away from my breasts and buried my face in the soft skin of her neck and kissed her gently as I slid my hand down and over her flat tummy, brushing lightly over her mound. I flicked my tongue against her ear and as I whispered “You are gorgeous and you’re mine” to her I let my index finger travel lower and slip between her folds. She almost purred as I stroked my finger up and down the slick wetness of her pussy, and when she realised I was travelling down the bed she instinctively lay back and spread her legs for me.
Without letting my finger stop teasing her I lay between her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs, nipping the skin lightly but never allowing my face to touch her beautiful pussy. I knew this would drive her insane and when I decided to show mercy I lifted her arse in my hands and started to lick slowly from the base of her spine, lingering a little at her arsehole, all the way along her slit until I got to her clit which was swollen and divine. Chris was pushing her sex into my face, demanding more and I was all too happy to provide. I mashed my nose against her clit as I lapped hungrily at the sweet juices that were pouring from her. I used my hands to force her legs further apart, and thrust my tongue as deeply into her pussy as it would go, thrusting it in and out until my face was covered with her wonderful nectar and her pussy was bucking against my mouth.
Chris’ moans were getting louder and her breathing was fast and shallow; the sight and taste of her was driving me toward my own climax so I wrapped my tongue around her clit and filled her sopping pussy with 3 fingers which I stroked in and out of her while my other hand reached up to toy with her engorged nipples. The faster I fucked her with my fingers the more she cried out and as her whole body went rigid and she cried out “Shit, Kate YEEESSSSS” I felt my own spasms rock through me.
The storm continued to rage outside but we didn’t notice it. I laid Chris back on the bed and straddled her face dipping my juice onto her chin while I leant down and lapped up her cum. She fucked me hard with her tongue and as if by agreement we both wetted fingers in each other and inserted them simultaneously into each other’s arses. Our climaxes were fast and violent but we didn’t stop until we were both thoroughly spent.
We lay in each other’s arms for a long time just relishing the feel of each other, until we both drifted off to sleep in an exhausted state of pure bliss.
I woke a couple of hours later and turned to look out of the window over the lake. Chris felt me move and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me back into her so she was spooning me. The sun was shining over the glassy smooth lake making it sparkle like liquid diamonds.
“Hey gorgeous, I can hear you smiling from back here, what are you thinking?”
“That the sun is shining again and everything is right with my world.”