Loading...I’m a widower. My wife of six years died six months ago. She left me with two little ones. While giving birth to our second, she had to have a caesarean and that was when they discovered the cancer. It was almost virulent. My little boy was two months old when she died. I was at a loss as to what to do. I had my daughter who had just turned two and a two-month old boy.
I moved home to be closer to my mother so she could help out. I loved my kids and they seemed the only thing I was animated about. I sort of lived my life in a daze. I’m a vet and was fortunate that the town’s vet was retiring. So I took over his practice and made myself at home. I found myself in Eastern Washington, traveling on the road to the Apple Valley Ranch.
I go out every couple of weeks or so to tend the animals of the rather enterprising horse ranch. It was started by the late owner but kept up faithfully by his son. He was a sweet, kind man named Jimmy to all but me. I called him James. He was maybe twenty-five. His eyes were beautifully blue and eager and open. There wasn’t a hint of deception or deceit in him. Probably had more to do with his being born with the cord around his neck and slightly brain-damaged. He was a bit slow and had a hard time learning new things. But he was faithful and constant, hardworking, tireless, and kind and gentle with the horses.
James always came out to the stables while I was there. He wasn’t watching over me, he just wanted to be there in case I found anything. There was a foreman for the horses too. He was a grisly old cowboy called Doc. He paid attention too. I was looking over a mare that was about to foal, maybe in a couple of weeks. I looked up and smiled at the two anxious men. This was their first foal since the old man died. I assured them that everything was fine. With that Doc let at a whoop and left the stables. I went over near the tack room to wash up. I was just rinsing my hands when I looked up and saw the calendar. I did a quick calculation in my head and realized it was six months to the day since my wife had died. I also remembered that I hadn’t thought about her, really thought about her for a couple of days. I think it was more guilt than anything, but I crumpled to the ground on my knees and cried.
I just sat there, crying because my wife was gone, guilty for not thinking of her, knowing that the pain was going away. James knelt down in front of me. He looked worried. He put his hand on my shoulder; just a simple gesture letting me know that I wasn’t alone. My tears let up and I looked up into James’ warm, caring face. He asked me why I was so sad. I told him that when I saw the calendar that it had been six months since my wife had died. He smiled at me and told me that he couldn’t remember the day anymore when his mama had died. But he remembered crying on the day when he realized that he couldn’t remember anymore. It was so good to know that someone cared and offered just a little comfort.
James stood up and asked me to follow him. He led me out of the stable and up a hill towards the main ranch house. Just before the main path to the front door, the path split and James took it. It led to an arbor that we passed through. Inside was a rose garden, surrounded by tall hedges. A path that ran the length of the garden divided the plants. On one side it was completely full with mature roses in large bushes. Being late June, the aroma was almost too much. But they were beautiful, all the various shades and sizes of flowers. James led me up the path. He stopped where the other side stopped off, about halfway through the garden. He turned to me and smiled.
“One side is just common roses, the other are hybrids I try. I do four every year. This year’s are just blooming.” He walked over to one plant. It had blood red tips that gradually flowed into a butter cream throat. It was beautiful. James stopped in front of it and brought out a pair of pruning shears and snipped off three of the blooms. I watched as he trimmed the thorns off the stems and trimmed up the leaves. He handed them to me when he was done.
“What was your wife’s name?”
“Jenny.”
“What did she like to do most in the world?”
I smiled at the memory. “She liked to sing the babies to sleep in the rocking chair.”
James smiled at me, full of warmth and kindness. “Then these roses shall be called ‘Jenny’s Lullaby’.”
I was shocked. I looked down at the flowers in my hand and stammered. “James, you can’t do that. God, it is so generous.”
“I have a hard time naming my new roses. You just helped is all.”
I knew that arguing would do me no good. His generosity and warmth made me smile. “Thank you James.”
He smiled at me and we walked down the hill to the stables so I could get my bag. On the walk, I really looked at him. I had always seen him and knew what he looked like. But now I noticed him … differently. He was tall, at least six-six. He had really broad shoulders and lean hips. He was obviously well muscled. He had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. I had registered this before, but it was slightly different. This was new. I hadn’t felt like this since college.
On the drive home, I kept thinking about his smile; his gentle kindness and generosity and it made me think things I hadn’t thought about in years. I remembered my first roommate in college. Adam and I found each other one night. We were cold and tired and collapsed on the same bed after a party got out of hand and destroyed the other bed. We turned during the night so we were face to face. The moment was perfect and we were kissing. We made love that night and throughout the rest of the year. We weren’t being openly together; we were just enjoying the time we had. But by the end of the year, he wanted more. To be truthful, I was afraid. I turned him away out of fear. I always regretted it until I met Jenny. We shared six wonderful years and I loved her more than anything. But now that she was gone, I found myself thinking those thoughts again. Technically, I guess I would be considered bi. I enjoyed the two people I ever slept with a lot. I loved them both. But the moral climate, the fears and prejudices of the world made me turn away the first so I could find the second love of my life. Now that she was gone, with time I knew I would find a third.
A couple of weeks later, I got the call that the mare was having difficulty and was in hard labor. So I got my mom to watch the kids and drove out to the Apple Valley Ranch. I made it out there about 2 AM and Doc met me as I pulled up. I grabbed my bag and found James kneeling in the stall, holding her head and petting her, offering soft, gentle words and a caring touch. I smiled at him as I came in to kneel down and examine her. The cord was wrapped around a front leg. It wasn’t overly threatening, but if untreated, would cause the mare to hemorrhage when the foal dropped. I reached up there and moved the cord away, unwrapping the foal and tilting its head for the trip into the world. She wasn’t ready to drop just yet, but it would help to do it now. James and I helped that horse through the night. She would stand and pace, then lie down and whinny. He crooned to her the whole time. His love for that animal was palpable. Just before dawn, the water broke. It made us both messy, but it meant it would only be a few more minutes. I reached in to guide the foal, pulling lightly on the muzzle to allow it to fall out gently. The mare was standing and the foal just landed in the hay. I removed the sack over its nose and watched as the mare helped it, cleaning and nuzzling the baby to her. It was a beautiful filly with its sire’s coloring. After about twenty minutes, the foal was standing after a couple of clumsy steps. I examined her and mother and baby were doing great.
I looked up at James and he had tears in his eyes. It wasn’t pity or fear but the overwhelming emotions of seeing nature in all its glory. I grasped his arm and smiled at him. He looked at me and smiled back. I stood and the two of us moved out of the stall so Doc and another hand could clean them up and muck out the stall. James led me to the tack room and the showers there so I could get cleaned up. It wasn’t much, but the water was hot and there was plenty of it. I peeled off my bloody, messy clothes and crawled under the hot spray. I noticed James removing his clothes and I watched him.
He was beautiful. His body was sturdy and very strong. He didn’t have any fat on his torso. His muscles were sculpted and defined by tight skin and shiny, thick, dark hair that covered his chest from collarbone to the waistband of his jeans. He toed off his boots and shucked his jeans. He stood in white, loose, cotton boxers and socks. He was absolutely amazing. He didn’t arouse me. I was just impressed by such a beautiful body. Then he bent and peeled off his socks before standing and dropping his shorts. I continued looking at his beauty. His legs were thick with muscle, indicative of a lot of lifting and climbing ladders to pick the apples in the orchard. They were covered in corded muscle and dark hair. But he also had a beautiful cock. It was thick and long and accompanied by large, heavy testicles that swung below his shaft. His pubic hair was thick and surrounded his flaccid penis. He walked towards me and stood under the showerhead next to me. He grabbed some soap and vigorously scrubbed his arms, removing the muck. He washed his legs then turned to place the soap back. It was then I saw the scars crisscrossed on his back. They ran in long, parallel streaks and they were of differing depths and length. They also ran in every direction along his shoulder blades and mid-waist. I had seen scarring like this before, on a horse. James had been beaten or whipped, perhaps both.
I reached out and placed my fingers on the meanest looking scar and traced it. James stiffened and stood, turned to look at me with a little panic in his eyes. Compassion filled my eyes and voice with tears. I looked in his eyes and cupped his cheek.
“Oh James, what happened?”
He looked down, as if ashamed. He mumbled a response that I didn’t hear. I pulled his face up and looked at him, rubbing my thumb under his eye to catch a tear. “What happened?”
“After my mama died, my daddy would get angry at me. He would come in my room and take his belt to me for being bad.”
I cringed at the image of that poor boy having no one to turn to; living with fear and uncertainty. “How old were you when your mama died?”
“Twelve.”
My heart clenched. Pity and compassion stirred in me. Before I thought it through, I leaned towards him, tilted my head up to him, and pressed my lips to his. James froze under my touch. All I could think was: what if he was really a child in an adult’s body. I went to move away, not so fast I would startle him, but gently lifted the pressure of my mouth. But I felt James follow, applying pressure and a little suction to my lip. He had closed his eyes. I moved away and waited for him to open his eyes. I looked at him. He smiled shyly at me. I had to know, his reaction was a little curious.
“Have you ever kissed anyone James?”
“I used to kiss my mama’s cheek each night before going to bed.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I meant on the mouth.”
He shook his head no.
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
He nodded. I moved to him and cupped his face with my hands. I brushed my lips against his lightly, butterfly light. I stood only a couple of inches shorter, but I still had to tilt up to meet his lips. I waited for James to meet my lips before opening my mouth. Once he opened his mouth, I moved a little more aggressively over his lips. I touched his lip with my tongue, waiting for James to follow. He did, tentatively, awkwardly. When our tongues met, I felt him shudder. I just brushed his tongue with mine for a few strokes before pulling away, disengaging from his mouth. James had his eyes closed again. Beautiful, dark lashes fanned over his cheekbones. He was beautiful and innocent. I couldn’t stop the smile. He was also breathing hard and his cheeks and neck were flushed. I didn’t have to look down to see him hard. I felt it against my belly.
James was trembling a bit when he opened his eyes. He stared into mine while catching his breath. Then he looked down. I wasn’t unaffected. I know I was erect and brushing in the soft hair of his belly. He snapped his head up and blushed even darker. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I dried off and started putting on my spare clothes. I had only put on my briefs when I turned to watch James. He had turned from me and ducked his head under the water. He was shaking. He had turned the water cold. My erection deflated. All I could think about was that I hurt him. Pushed him into something he wasn’t ready for.
I walked up to the shower and put my hand on his arm. The water was frigid. I turned him to me and shut off the water. He wouldn’t look at my eyes. He kept mumbling that he shouldn’t have done that. He said that it was wrong to be hard in the shower. I tried to calm him, but everything I said seemed to make it worse. He grabbed a towel and dried off. He then wrapped it around himself and grabbed his dirty clothes and walked out, up the hill to the house. The whole time he had his head lowered. I wanted to go after him. But I stopped and went back inside to finish dressing.
While I was putting on my boots, Doc came in to the tack room. He didn’t look angry, but he was concerned.
“What did you do to Jimmy? He doesn’t walk around without a shirt unless he’s upset.”
“I don’t know, he kept mumbling about being hard in the shower.”
“I know you kissed him, I saw it.”
I was at a loss. Things had moved quickly and I had a feeling I had really done some damage to James. “Yes, I did kiss him. He turned around and turned the water blasting cold. He grabbed a towel and walked off.”
Doc leaned back against the doorframe. “I know what got him so upset.”
“What?”
Rather than answer, he looked at me. It was an appraisal. I don’t know what his verdict was. “I came to this ranch when he was just seven. His mama loved him more than anything. But his daddy wouldn’t have anything to do with him. Jimmy couldn’t please that man no matter what he did. At nine, he was winning riding awards. At eleven, he won an award for the best hybrid rose. At fourteen, his section of the orchard had almost double the output of any other section in the whole eighty acres. It wasn’t enough. The old bastard cared nothing for him.
“Just after his mama died, I was trying to get a new horse to saddle. I got on but he threw me. I landed hard and had the wind knocked out of me. Jimmy vaulted that fence and pulled me out of harm’s way. He crouched down and begged me not to die too. He told me he loved me and didn’t want me to go. Here I was, this loner, and I fell for that kid. His love is pure, no qualifications, no questions, no prejudices. I loved him like he was my own. I went to all of the events he was in. I cheered for him the loudest when he won awards. The old man just showed up to smile and wave; then ignored Jimmy on the drive home.
“I didn’t know he was beating the boy at first. The kid came to me whenever he didn’t understand something. But he kept this to himself. He was fifteen before I found out. I walked up to that old man with my rifle and threatened to kill him. I told him if he ever raised a hand to his boy that he’d be dead before he knew what hit him. For the most part it worked. I didn’t find out about the other until recently.”
Doc wiped tears from his eyes, but he didn’t go into details about what ‘other’ meant. “You seem to be a good man, Alex. But don’t hurt him. He doesn’t understand the game. When I first saw you, I thought you might be like me. Any warm body would do, man or woman. But now I know, it’s not like me. I just look for a little break from the loneliness of night, doesn’t matter what gender they are. But you’re a forever kind of guy. I envy you that.
“I can see you are halfway there, but you have to decide. Jimmy is worthy of love. He deserves to have someone love him. But you need to decide, because it will be forever for him. He doesn’t understand casual sex. With him it’s all or nothing. Yes he’s slow. He can’t comprehend half of what he reads. But he is all heart; he loves with everything he is. It’s all you really need.”
With that, Doc walked out, heading for the house. I drove home as the sun broke the horizon with more questions than answers. What Doc said was true: I was already halfway in love with him. I had watched and observed James every time I came out to the ranch. Now I admitted that I was attracted to him, probably had been from the beginning. But there were two small reasons to think about it first. Missy and Brad, my children, deserved to have a loving home. I knew that James would love them. They were impossible to resist. If all I had known about him was the gentle touches he lavished on his horses; that would have told me he could love them. But could he be a parent to them? Could he love their hurts away? Of course he could. But could he spank them for their pranks and naughtiness? Because Doc said he had been beaten, I had a feeling James would probably go leniently with them. Not a bad thing, all in all. But, if something was to happen to me, could he take over and be the parent that they would need? That thought startled me. The idea of so completely melding my life with James’ should have scared me. It didn’t. It made me feel warm and good. Doc was right, he was deserving of love. I know it showed a lack of trust, but I needed a test. I was more than halfway in love with him and needed to know before I let myself go.
The following Sunday, while my practice would only need me in an emergency, I took Missy and Brad to the Apple Valley Ranch. I had Brad slung in a backpack and Missy grasping my hand as I walked into the stables. Doc was there. He walked up to me and asked if I had made my decision. I looked at him and told him I would by the end of the day. He got angry, until Missy tugged on his hand. When he looked down at her he ruffled her hair. Then he looked up at me. I told him that if it was only me, the decision would have been made already. He smiled at me, understanding lighting in his eyes. Yes, I was testing James, but Doc understood. James walked into the stables a few minutes later. I was just finished checking on the foal. Brad was asleep on my back. James walked down the aisle between the stalls. I knew where Missy was; she was close to one of the stalls, trying to gather her courage to pet the animals. James walked up to her, kneeling down by her side. He didn’t ask anything, he just knelt by her. Eventually she turned to him and smiled. I watched as James smiled back. He asked her if she would like to pet the horse. She nodded and James stood. He asked Missy if he could pick her up. She nodded again. He settled her on his hip as if he were born to it, tilted away from the horses, protecting her, shielding her with his big body. He told her to stick out her hand, palm up. He then placed a sugar cube in it. Then he took another cube in his hand and held it out to the horse. The horse snorted and slobbered all over his palm. He then shifted Missy closer. When the horse nuzzled her hand she giggled and squirmed against James’ neck. He giggled with her, sharing her mirth at the joy of connecting with the horses. She reached out and stroked the nose of the horse and probably fell in love with horses right then.
James sat her down when she spotted me. She ran off to me but not before she stopped and kissed him on the cheek. I picked her up and stared at James, knowing it was no use. He had taken my heart when he lovingly played with my daughter. It was over, and now I knew, it was never really a contest. I loved him. Now we just had to decide how to come together. He invited the three of us for lunch. As we sat around his table with Doc and James, the kids both connected to him. He was kind and gentle. Despite his size, which usually intimidates small children, they were drawn to him. James took Missy on a tour of his home while I fed Brad. Doc looked at me and wanted to talk.
“I think you made the right decision.”
“I hope so, I really do.”
“Why do you doubt it?”
“Am I giving him a choice?”
“If you had been the one with cancer and your wife was the vet, James now would be in love with Jenny and the rose would be called ‘Alex’s lullaby.'”
“But, how do you know he loves me?”
“You don’t get it do you? It doesn’t matter to him. You are warm and kind and caring. You see him for what he can be, not for what he isn’t. He couldn’t help but love you. Don’t doubt that.”
With those last words, Doc got up and left the house. I watched him go, wondering, hoping his words were true. I finished feeding Brad as Missy and James returned. I gathered them up and left, telling James I would return in a while. I left and took them to my mother’s house, leaving the children in her hands and returned home to gather a few items of clothing and then drove back out to the ranch. My hands were shacking. Out of nervousness or excitement I don’t know. Each warred within me. I was in love again and I was also going to be making love with someone who probably had no experience whatsoever. It was daunting. It was charming. It was nerve-wracking. I pulled up to the ranch house right about sunset. The night was warm, but not too warm. The sun set behind the majesty of the Cascades a single light was left on in the house. It felt like coming home. I knocked on the door and James let me in. He guided me to a room that was filled with bookshelves and a roaring fire. There was an open book on a table by the fire. The floor to ceiling windows looked out on the rose garden. I smiled at the sight.
“What are you reading?”
He named one of my favorites and we chatted about it for a minute. I was nervous and I think James picked up on it. But he finally asked: “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. I came to talk to you.”
“What about?”
“James, about that night in the shower…”
“I’m sorry about that. I just had some bad memories come up.”
“Will you tell me about them?”
He nodded. “I was in the shower when I was about fourteen. I was just washing. But when I got down between my legs, I got hard. I wasn’t playing with it, I just got hard.”
I nodded and told him that it happened to most fourteen year olds. He blushed a little but continued.
“Daddy walked in and saw me rinsing off, I was just holding it up to rinse underneath. He thought I was playing with it. He hollered at me. I got out of the shower and tried to explain what happened. He just told me to go to my room and to bed. That night he came at me with his belt. It was the first time.”
I walked up to him and cupped his face. He still looked ashamed. I didn’t kiss him. I didn’t want him to panic again. But I pulled his chin up to look in my eyes.
“James, we all get hard sometimes. It is completely natural. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I brought you bad memories when I kissed you.”
“You brought me good memories when you kissed me. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“James, we need to talk about that. I will probably offend you by asking some questions, but I don’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You asked if you would hurt my feelings. No one ever asks Alex. Or apologize for it. That means you are thinking of me more than of yourself. No one does that either.”
It made me smile. “James, what do you feel for me?”
“I love you.”
That simple. It made me wonder. “When did you realize that you love me?”
“It isn’t a time. It’s a feeling. I watch you when you come out to the ranch. You don’t discount me. You treat me like any other man. But if I had to give you a time, probably when I gave you the roses.”
His words warmed me, but now came the tricky part. “Am I the only one you love?”
“No Alex, I love mama and Doc. I love the horses and Mrs. Smith who cleans the house and cooks for the ranch hands. But with you, it’s different. I feel a part of you. You make me smile when you are near. When you are gone, I feel better knowing you will come back. I don’t understand the words to tell you how I feel. Do you love me?”
He may not have much experience with love, but he understood it, inside, in his heart. “Yes, James, I love you.”
He moved towards me, leaning his lips the few inches to meet mine. His kiss wasn’t hesitant like in the shower, but bold and warm. I was lost as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. His body wrapped around me, and I realized he was protecting me, shielding me. I pulled away lightly; I still had two more things to know.
“James, I want to be with you. I want to come out to the ranch and live with you and hold you and love you. But I need to know: Can you love my children? Can you treat them as your own?”
“Of course I can love them. They are a part of you Alex. It is easy to love them. As to treating them like my own, I don’t know. I don’t have any children so I don’t know if I would treat them like my own. But I will love them. I will protect them with my life. I will make sure they are loved and know that they are wanted. They will never know fear or hunger or loneliness.”
My throat thickened and I had to swallow hard to get the next question out.
“Have you ever made love before, James?”
“No.”
“Will you make love with me?”
He nodded his head and took my hand. He took me on a quick tour of his home, ending in the master bedroom. He shut the door behind us and led me to the massive king size bed. It looked like it was crafted from pine logs and covered in a thick mattress and soft bedding. It looked like paradise. I looked up into James’ warm smile. But I noticed he was trembling. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. He smiled at me. It wasn’t nerves that had him trembling.
I took his hands and placed them at the collar to my shirt. I then put mine at his collar and started to unbutton his shirt. James followed my lead. As each button was undone, I would spread James’ shirt and feel the warm skin and silky hair of his chest. He would stroke my chest after each button opened, feeling my skin, devoid of hair. When our shirts were open to the waist, James stopped, waiting for me to lead him on. I pulled his shirt from his waistband and slid it off his shoulders. It forced him to drop his hands from my shirt. Once his shirt was off, he moved back and removed mine. I unbuckled his belt and undid the snap of his jeans. James followed. I slid my hands into his open jeans and skimmed them down against his hips. They dropped to the floor and James stepped out of them. He stood before me in his white, loose boxers and socks. James quickly got rid of my jeans, stripping me to my briefs. Briefs that grew tighter with each moment. I pushed him down onto the bed after I pulled down the covers. James landed softly and looked up at me expectantly. I took off his socks and then my own before lying down beside him.
“If there is anything we do that you don’t like, tell me James.”
He nodded. I reached over to him and pulled down his shorts. His erection was caught under the waistband, when the shorts were low enough; it sprang back and slapped his belly. It caused James to moan. He was on edge already and all we had done was kiss. I had a feeling that he didn’t know what was happening.
“James?”
“Unh-huh?”
“Have you ever touched yourself? Did you ever hold on to yourself when hard and move your hand over it?”
“No. Daddy beat me for washing, I wasn’t going to actually do what he hit me for.”
“So you don’t know what will happen?”
“I have sticky dreams sometimes.”
Wet dreams. He had cum, but never while conscious. This could be interesting, scary for him, and emotional for the both of us. I kissed him and moved my hand to capture his penis. I squeezed him gently and felt his body shudder. He pulled back from my lips and cried out. He moaned with each feather-light touch of my hand. I started moving my fist back and forth over the velvet covered steel. He started leaking immediately. With each stroke, he moaned loudly. James curled towards me, trying to curl into a ball, overwhelmed by the new sensations assaulting him. He hugged me to him, anchoring himself as the sensations built inside him. I felt him thicken in my hand and James stared into my eyes with wonder. His first spurt hit my thigh, scalding hot and massive. James closed his eyes and cried out with each spasm of his release. I slowed my hand when his ejaculation started to ebb. He just whimpered and moaned with each aftershock of sensation. I didn’t let go of him, but stopped moving my fist. He rolled onto his back, still shuddering from time to time with pleasure. After a couple of minutes, he looked at me and smiled. James got a mischievous look on his face. He then dove on me, kissing me and lowering my briefs, releasing my aching shaft. While he kissed me, he began stroking me, moving the same way I did on him. I didn’t last long, I cried out my release and watched James watch me. He wondered at what he saw and witnessed. I smiled at him, and we cuddled together. We weren’t cold, but I pulled the sheet over us and just reveled in lying protected in his arms and able to nuzzle that beautiful, furry chest.
I don’t know how long we dozed or if James slept at all. I awoke to find James lying on his back with me lying next to him. He was erect and I was at half-mast. He was staring at our cocks.
“I’m bigger than you.”
“Of course you are, you’re two inches taller than me.”
“No, I meant bigger penis.”
“Well, you’re hard, I’m not.”
He reached down and stroked me with his hand and I sprang to attention. Then he pulled away and compared again.
“I’d say we’re pretty even James.”
He smiled at me and started kissing me again. He pulled my hand to his penis and stroked my own. We stroked and kissed for a few minutes. James writhed beneath my grasp. I stopped him though. I didn’t want it to be over so quickly again. I pulled away and told him there were other ways we could make love. He was eager and asked how. Instead of telling him, I showed him. I started kissing his neck and earlobe. I moved down onto his collarbone and skimmed it with my open mouth. I placed loud, wet, messy open-mouthed kisses all over his chest before taking one of his nipples in my mouth and attending to it. James arched his back under me and purred. I moved down his stomach, nipping at his skin lightly with my teeth. The tip of his erection brushed against my chest and I felt him leaking his clear essence against it. I kept moving down, wanting that treasure in my mouth. I moved past it though to pay homage to his testicles. I was teasing them with my mouth, swirling each egg with my tongue. The hair was sparse on them and I loved the texture in my mouth. I pulled back a little when I noticed the scar on them. His scrotum had what looked like an incision scar about half an inch across. I recognized it because I also had one. The scar was the badge of a vasectomy. Jenny and I decided two children were enough. James didn’t have any. Now I knew what Doc meant by ‘other’.
I pulled away and looked at James. He was glossy eyed from passion. He was very aroused. I hoped to god I was wrong, but I could wait for answers. I moved my mouth down on him. I took his shiny, wet tip in my mouth and loved him for all I was worth. I bobbed on his shaft and swirled my tongue in an effort to bring James to the edge. It didn’t take long before he started bellowing with each movement of my mouth. He is a loud lover and I was glad I was bringing him this joy. When I felt him thicken, I doubled my efforts and moved faster, swirled sensuously around him, and sucked harder. James erupted in my mouth. It had been almost ten years since I had last done this. I had forgotten how full your mouth can become. I swallowed as fast as I could without choking. But I took all that James had to give. When he had calmed, I cleaned him up with a few bobs of my head and a lick at the overflow in his pubic hair. His spent cock collapsed along his hip and I moved up to kiss James. He met my kiss tiredly. He was spent and I loved that I had brought him there. But before he could go to sleep, I needed to know.
“James, when did you have a vasectomy?”
His sultry, afterglow smile faded. He looked away for a second then looked back. “I was fifteen.”
“Fifteen! Why?”
“Daddy took me to Dallas for a huge garden expo. My roses were entered and I was going to receive an award. He took me a few days early. After we got to the hotel, the next morning he took me to a doctor’s office. They gave me a pill that made me sleepy. I woke in the hotel bed with an ice pack in my lap and daddy fed me pills every few hours. When it was time to go to the show, I was better and didn’t ache. I didn’t know what it was at first. I heard what they called it, but didn’t know what it meant.”
“But why?”
“When I looked it up in the dictionary when we got home, I asked daddy. He told me he didn’t want any more retarded bastards to raise.”
The old man had had him sterilized. He couldn’t have had children even if he wanted to. The choice was taken from him.
“When daddy died, Doc told me I needed to find a good wife and have some kids. I hadn’t told him about the special trip to Dallas, but I did that day. He was so angry he threatened to dig daddy up and shoot him.”
I was too emotional to speak. A lump was lodged in my throat. But I kissed him. I kissed him long and hard, hoping to give every scrap of love I felt to him with that woefully pitiful gesture. When I pulled away, there were tears in his eyes.
“I will always be grateful Alex that you are sharing your family with me. I never thought I would have one.”
“I’m not sharing. I decided long before today that you are going to adopt them and be a parent in every sense of the word. They will be your kids. You didn’t father them, but I know you will love them every day of their lives.”
We started kissing again, long and hard. He moved over me, placing his big body on top of mine. The kisses turned more and more passionate. James started rocking against me; his erection nestled next to mine, rubbing in the soft hair of his belly. He must have found the motion as pleasant as I because we started thrusting against each other. Our natural lubricant eased our way. The motion of his hips became more urgent, more forceful. I knew we were both on edge. I looked up into his eyes and smiled and told him I loved him. He erupted with a great cry. Feeling his cock twitch with each jet of his semen caused me to erupt with him.
We dozed off and on through the night. We turned to each other whenever we awoke. James took me in his mouth and it was wonderful, hesitant, but wonderful. A couple of hours before the sun rose, James asked if that was all there was to making love. I laughed and told him no, there was lots more. He told me that he had seen one of the field hands and a girl under one of the apple trees. He said he watched him bounce on top of her. Then he told me he saw two of the stable hands in the tack room, one lying on his stomach, and the other lay on top of him and bounced on him. He asked if we were going to bounce on each other. I laughed and explained that we would, but that the first time could hurt and I didn’t want to hurt him. He grinned and told me that nothing had hurt so far. He was eager, and I saw no reason to wait. I pushed him onto his stomach and decided to just go for it.
I kissed his neck and massaged his shoulders. I trailed my tongue on the bumps of his spine until I met the furry patch above his dimpled cheeks. I massaged the orbs of his ass and kissed my way down his spine. I pushed his legs apart and skimmed my fingers through his crack. The moment I brushed his hole, James moaned. He definitely wasn’t an inhibited lover. I pulled away from his crack with my fingers and moved my mouth down to him. I tasted his warm skin and nuzzled his hole with my nose. I used my tongue in a swirling pattern to part the thick hair away from the prize. It made him squirm. I felt James open the moment I touched my tongue to him. I pushed inside him and started thrusting into him with my tongue. Each plunge had James crying out his pleasure. When he was sufficiently wet and loose, I rose over him and placed myself at his opening. Before I thrust, I kissed his ear and told him I loved him. Then I pushed slightly. I rocked into him gently, waiting for him to protest as I sank slowly into his warm channel. He never did. When I was seated fully, James turned his head and asked when the pain would happen. I just smiled and said that there obviously wasn’t going to be any. With that I pulled out slowly than sank back in. I thought I would die from it. His inner muscles begged me to stay and pulled at me. He was warm and moist and I was fisted to almost orgasm by his tight body. I began to move in earnest. Each thrust had James moaning louder. Each bounce of my hips sent me higher. I felt the hairiness of his legs as he wrapped them around mine. I felt his hands clasp mine where they braced me. I moved again and again within him. I knew it wasn’t going to last. The sensations were just too good. I started to buck, as I got closer. It wouldn’t be long now. I felt James clasp me harder. His moans had reached that fever pitch telling me he was about to cum. One last deep thrust was all I needed and I exploded, feeling James clasp me as he followed. My cries were ripped from me with each milking motion of James’ body. I was on fire and only hoped to survive.
When we came back to earth, I rolled away from James, leaving him with a wet plop. James rolled onto his back and stared at me in wonder. He told me he didn’t think it was possible: he was still hard. He looked down at his erection than smiled at me. He asked if it was his turn. I smiled and nodded. I was so relaxed that I doubted I would cum again. I was wrong.
James rolled me onto my stomach and followed the exact same motions as I. He lapped at me and opened me with his mouth. Then he lay on top of me and thrust into me to the hilt. Finesse he hadn’t learned. He immediately started thrusting heavily into me. He wasn’t rough, but he was definitely … thorough. It had been ten years since I had done this. But James didn’t hurt me; he was too gentle and tender to do that. But my ass took a heavy pounding that morning. He kept up his steady thrusts, grazing my prostate with each downward stroke. I wasn’t going to last, he was too good, so much a natural, sensual lover. Twenty or thirty of his hard thrusts and I came, clamping him as I went over the edge. I felt James continue his motions, moving in that same in to the hilt, out to the crown motion. I don’t know how he did it, but it was a good five minutes later and he was still at it. He moaned and groaned with each thrust. I felt myself build again, in awe that I could possibly cum again. After I came the second time, I felt James twitch then shudder into me. Each spurt of his orgasm caused him to grunt in animalistic pleasure. He collapsed on my back when the last of his spasms died. He stayed in place and slowly nuzzled the back of my neck with his nose. He stayed there, his big body inside me and surrounding me, protective and cosseted. I loved him more than I thought possible. We didn’t have sex; we made love. Before he moved away, James told me how much he enjoyed what we had done. His simple statement of: I like this, warmed me. It also made me laugh. I decided we needed a break. I pulled away from him and led him to the bathroom. Inside was a huge old-fashioned claw foot tub, big enough for the two of us. I filled it with warm, bubbly water and had James climb in. I settled between his thighs and lay back against his strong, broad, warm chest. He asked why we were taking a bath and I told him we needed to soak, to help our aching bodies.
After the bath, we both needed to get a start on the day. I went to my clothes and was getting ready to put on my briefs when James stared at them. He asked why I chose briefs. I told him that I liked the support. He didn’t understand so I told him to try them on. He sat down to do it. I knew he would be uncomfortable with his balls and cock at the seat. He stood and winced at the snug fit. I smiled and reached in to pull everything forward for him. He seemed to relax for a second, and then he grew still. He started getting hard in my hand. I pulled my hand out of the underwear and James looked at me. His face was taught with desire. He reached down and pulled off the underwear and pushed me on the bed. He was erect and starting to drip. I didn’t know if I could take another pounding so soon. But James just pushed me onto the bed and approached me and lay in the opposite direction. I understood completely and took him in my mouth as he took me. We both moved over each other, letting the warm wetness of our mouths please us. It didn’t take long, it never does and we tasted each other’s essence. We lay there, basking in love for a few more minutes, watching the sky turn light with the dawn of a new day.
James needed to get up and do his daily chores. I decided to go and check on the horses. James walked into the stables as I was washing up. It was almost time to go in for breakfast. James took one look at me and got a real hungry look in his eyes. He pulled me into the tack room. He pulled at my belt and stripped off my pants and briefs. He picked me up and put me against the wall with my legs wrapped around him. He pulled out his erection and slammed into me. I wasn’t ready, but I was overwhelmed by the raw, animal passion that roared to life between us. James must have known I wasn’t ready, because he just stayed in place. When I relaxed around him, he pulled out only to slam into me again. I cried out. Each thrust went faster and faster, building both of us to the end. When we were both teetering on the brink, each thrust James began to chant ‘I love you.’ He screamed it at the top of his lungs when he came inside me. I couldn’t help it and erupted against his shirt. He pulled out of me but still held me against the wall, knowing it was his leaning that kept him standing just as his leaning kept me from melting into a puddle on the floor. After a few minutes, we went up to the house, grinning like idiots. We were still grinning at breakfast, after he changed his shirt of course. Doc saw us and smiled at us and winked at me. I had made the right decision.
There was a second stable on the property. The old man had built the first for breeding horses, the second for saddle horses. We converted it into a first class veterinary hospital. I was able to practice at home and keep a watch on the kids. It took almost two years for the adoption to go through, but it was worth it. James cried for a long time that night in my arms when it was finally over. When Doc had a minor stroke a few years later, he retired and stayed with us in the house. He helped James run the business side of the ranch. There have been stares and rumors but neither of us care. I love him and he loves me. The kids both adore James and I have never once regretted my decision. I lost a few clients, but not enough to matter. Most of the people in this world don’t care. The closed minded are the loudest, but there are just as many people who were happy for our little family as there were bigots. Missy took James to her first father-daughter event in the seventh grade. We both cheered as Brad made the basketball team and went to state. We both were choked up at their college graduations. James cried harder at Missy’s wedding than anyone else. Twenty-three years to the day we came together, we welcomed our first grandchild into the world: James Alexander.