My sister Janet didn’t believe me and laughingly said so!
I thought it strange she could be so cheerful considering the circumstances; we were at a funeral after all. But no, she didn’t believe I could return to the same Greek Island for the same two weeks, (the last week of April and first of May) staying at the same hotel in the same room for 14 consecutive years and that this year would be my fifteenth trip.
She was sure that there was a woman out there who was the reason for what for she had always considered my mysterious behaviour and now, due to this sudden change in her circumstances she cheerfully announced that she was determined to find out.
I’d never like my brother in law; he was a negative and spiteful man who nagged and complained about everything my sister did. They lived separate lives and had no children but they shared one common interest; both were passionately interested in horses; my sister in the sort you ride on and my brother in law the kind you bet on. Both sorts are frightfully expensive but they were both well qualified with successful careers and their economy could easily support their interests.
A sudden death always brings sorrow though I have long suspected that most often the feelings of sorrow are for oneself and not the deceased and so when my brother In-law died suddenly my concern was solely for my big sister.
But I needn’t have worried; She bounced quickly back after the first shock and already during the funeral was seemingly the same cheerful sister I had always known. After all these years as my big sister she was sure she could still read me like a book and now because of her new circumstances she could devote more time to me, her only living relative, her younger brother.
Well, she may have been able to read me like a book but there were chapters in that book a big sister should absolutely not read! But as she said that I was glad she cared enough to try. The funeral and her financial matters were quickly sorted out and three days before my annual trip she announced that she would accompany me to Greece where the truth would be revealed.
The truth was fairly mundane. I was a passionate wildlife photographer; Orchids were my speciality and returning to my Greek island with it’s over one hundred different species was an obvious choice for someone interested in photographing all of Europe’s orchids. After just a couple of trips I had fallen in love with the island and its people.
As befits a decision maker with a career in higher management my sister had already involved herself in the details of my trip. I was tempted to call it interfering but was glad she had something to keep her mind off the recent events and before I knew it she had upgraded the Suzuki jeep I always hired to something bigger. Her discussion with my good friend Michael, the somewhat bemused hotel owner about the beds in my room had left him also wondering what was going on.
Come to that, I was also wondering what was going on and later, when after an uneventful journey we arrived at my “home from home” the Aegean Hotel I was surprised to find that we were both shown to my usual room in the quiet old wing of the hotel. My surprise was complete when I saw that the familiar divan and my double bed had been replaced by a sofa and two singles’.
Janet had decided we would be sharing a room but, as I will explain, this was not to be the first time.
As I said before, my sister felt she could read me like a book. Well, the circumstances of her taking charge of me and my life, of arranging for the two beds to be placed in my room reawakened the feeling of being a younger brother and opened pages in my subconscious that had kept concealed and unread for more than 30 years. Those pages must I felt, remain unread by her. It was a case of bad conscience caused by things I had done as a boy.
We lost our parents when she was 22 and I was 18. It was sudden, a road accident; there were no close relatives and Janet was thrown into the task of managing our affairs and bringing me up. This was no doubt the training that later led her into merchant banking.
We lived together in a flat that Janet rented from the bank who employed her. The family home was too big for us to manage but fortunately our finances were secure. We were naturally enough thrown together in a close relationship and the six years between us were no hindrance for that closeness. As any other teen boy I was aware of my sisters and indeed all women’s sexuality and my curiosity led to my spying on Janet with every opportunity.
Often, as we lay together in the dark, each in our single bed separated by just an arms-length of darkness, I would stutteringly ask her to explain the embarrassing questions that puberty causes. She was both kind and very matter of fact; a penis was a “cock” or “your prick” and sexual intercourse was often referred to as “having it off” or even “shagging.”
When one night she had fallen asleep and my question received no answer I had, with the unassailable logic of the sexually frustrated, swung my legs out of my bed and kneeling beside hers had found out for myself.
I had wondered how soft a breast could be and how I should go about caressing one. I seem to remember I had asked some girl to the cinema and must have thought I was in with a chance of feeling her breasts but now my sister had gone to sleep without answering my embarrassed question and I had no way of finding out; or had I?
It was pitch dark, indeed that was the only condition my sister stipulated if I was going to ask her young boy questions and indeed the darkness was also that which enabled me to reveal my doubts and worries to her. The only light was from the gaps around the door so I could only just make out the outline of my sleeping sister under the bedcovers. I couldn’t see enough!
Somehow still thinking coherently I stood up and sneaked from her bed and opened the door a fraction letting some in some light from the hall before I sneaked round to her bedside and knelt again. I was going to feel a woman’s breast!
I was petrified. I lifted the corner of her duvet and slipped my hand cautiously into the warmth radiating from her sleeping body. Moving silently, I slowly inched my hand towards her side but bumped into her with my outstretched fingers. I froze, expecting her to wake. I realised she was laying on her back so I would be able to feel both her breasts. I felt the cloth of her nightdress and moving gently felt her ribs under my fingers.
Emboldened by her lack of response I lifted my hand along the swell of her ribs and found the soft curve of her breast. My heart was beating so loudly and my hand trembling so violently that I was sure she would awaken but her breathing remained rhythmic and deep so I moved my hand gently until it was cupped under the heavy curve of her breast. My heart was hammering now and I was afraid she would wake but I couldn’t retreat, I was compelled to stay in the warmth of her very female presence.
At first it was curiosity that had driven me to feel her but by now I was driven by lust and I had a raging erection to prove it. It was as if my eyes were opened and for the first time I saw the fact that my sister was a woman damn it, and she had big breasts!
So I cupped her breast and squeezed gently. Under my hand and through her nightdress it was as warm and soft as I had only could imagine, but I felt thwarted; I had to get under her nightdress. As I leaned over her body and my hand crept towards her other breast my fingers snagged on something hard; it was a button; I could open the front of her nightdress and uncover her breasts!
My fingers struggled and fought with the buttons and my breath was ragged with anticipation; I was going to feel her tits! I could scarcely breathe as I unbuttoned first one, then two and several more as I worked nervously down over her belly until I had undone enough.
I was now leaning over her, her duvet was turned back and I could gently take the collar of her nightdress and turn back each side as far as they would go. Her generous breasts lay exposed and I bent gently forward and taking them in my hands I began sucking gently at first one then the other.
I was in ecstasy! At last I could say that now I knew; Breasts were firm yet very soft; The underside formed a delightful curve and fascinated I stroked them again and again, lifting and releasing and all the while fascinated by the movement that caused.
I realised her nipples were no longer flat and smooth but had risen against the palms of my hands. Did a stiff standing nipple mean the same as a stiff standing cock?
But Janet was asleep! How could she be excited?
But, so what?
I thought again; I got standing erections all the time while I slept but still I wished she was awake, awake and willing to let me explore her body, maybe even…
No, that was so out of the question, wasn’t it? Playing doctors and nurses with one’s big sister and her friends was one thing but that?… No way.
But still I couldn’t tear myself away so I did the only thing I thought was permissible in the circumstances.
Leaning closer to her I found her relaxed and passive wrist. Taking it with both hands I pressed it into my groin and arranged her fingers around my erect penis. Holding her fingers closed around my straining shaft I wanked myself with her hand.
I caressed her breasts with my free hand and the excitement was so much that I lasted less than 30 seconds before spraying my come over the side of her mattress. I was satisfied now and after clumsily fastening some of the buttons on her nightdress I covered her up and left her to sleep.
Of course, in the weeks to come I couldn’t keep away from her bedside and tried often to repeat what had happened that first time. However, I was to be disappointed. It seemed that either I went to sleep first or she rolled over and seemed to be waking up at the first gentle touch of my exploring fingers. After several close shaves I had in fact given up the whole idea as if it had been a figment of my imagination when suddenly it happened again.
Janet had been out on a date with a man from the bank where she worked. I was almost asleep when I heard her let herself in to the flat. For some reason, I don’t know why, I didn’t answer when she called out saying she was home. I fought to stay awake as she did her things in the bathroom, turned the TV and the lights off, locked the door and at last came into our bedroom and pausing in the door to the well-lit hall gave me a good look at her lovely body through the material of her nightdress. She eased herself into her bed and as I listened to her deep and regular breathing I realised she was soon deeply asleep.
I don’t know why but I was suddenly sure that tonight I could get to feel her again so I rolled out of bed, knelt by her side and reached for her. I was shocked and disappointed to find her laying with her back to me; I couldn’t feel a thing!
Frustrated I stroked her back and thighs and leaned over her shoulder in an attempt to find her breasts among the tangle of her arms but was thwarted. I couldn’t rearrange her arms for fear of waking her so disappointed and with a hard erection I pulled the covers over her and climbed back into my own bed and began tossing myself off.
I stopped suddenly; Janet was restless and thinking she would hear me I feigned sleep but looking over at her I was amazed to see her turn over on her back. I remained silent, desperately hoping she would sink back into the deep sleep that gave me a chance to explore her body.
After what seemed like a lifetime she was began that deep breathing that gave me the confidence to climb out of bed and approach her. I was soon able to push this new nightdress aside and reveal her lovely breasts. All the time I kissed and squeezed them I was bothered by a nagging question; could I feel her fanny? could I finger her vagina?
So, while sucking gently and holding one of her breasts I let my right hand travel all the way down her chest, across her lovely soft belly and… Fuck!
I was taken by a fit of nerves and my hand trembled so violently I had to lift it from her body…
She had no panties on!
I couldn’t believe it! The thought was almost unbearable and I had to stay kneeling by her bedside for many minutes before I could once again smooth my hand over her belly and find her hairy crotch.
Her legs were together but I managed to lift the one leg and pull them slightly apart. I could then slowly explore her soft inner thighs until I found the trim lips of her vagina. My enquiring middle finger slipped between her outer lips and slid around over the delightfully slippery tissues under.
I was desperate to finger her and soon found the entrance to her vagina. I slid my finger slowly all the way in and gently made that sly beckoning movement I had seen my friends flash at each other when they lied about how many girls they had fingered; But this was no lie. I was fingering my big sister’s juicy cunt. Somehow despite the eroticism of the moment I managed to correct myself to “big sister’s vagina,” I couldn’t bring myself to say she had a cunt.
I had to finish, I had to find release, I had to come before I could sleep so I tried to use her hand to wank myself off as I had done the last time. I couldn’t get it to work, her fingers tangled with mine, indeed it felt as if she wasn’t willing. But fascinated as I was, I was drawn back to her vagina to finger some more and between each exploration I brought my fingers to my mouth and carefully sucked them clean before going back to her breasts.
It was then I realised that if I could finger her, if I could explore her and push my finger all the way in so maybe, if I was very careful, very, very careful well maybe I could just push the very end of my penis into the juicy slit between her outer lips and rub myself there until I came.
Lust drove me on and the consequences of being discovered never crossed my mind. I was blind with lust and ignoring the danger I slowly stepped over her and knelt between her legs.
Supporting myself on one hand I lent precariously over her and shuffled closer between her thighs. I had all my weight on my knees and the one hand and I held my erect penis in the other as I lowered myself, and the end of my penis, nearer and nearer her hairy fanny.
I drew the foreskin back; the glans had never seemed bigger or my shaft more ridged. I moved my penis nearer her and felt for her wetness. The first contact, the first gentle stroke of my penis parting the hairy lips of her sex was like the searing brush of a flame.
I repeated the movement once more and winced aloud. The sliding of my glans over her wet softness was like nothing I had experienced while playing with myself and I gasped in amazement; It was so intense! I had to have more!
I repeated the movement, resting between each intense stab of feeling in my groin. My balls ached! My cock had been erect for so long and I suddenly decided that I wanted something else. I was going to find the entrance to her vagina with my cock, she had taken my finger without wakening, she could surely take me in there?
I shuffled closer and pushing her thighs even further apart reached for her with my cock. I began stabbing unsuccessfully amongst the dark triangle of her crotch. Frustrated, I had to search with my fingers and at last finding her slippery entrance I grasped my cock and guided it in.
Taking my weight on both hands I slowly let my groin approach hers. The feeling as my glans moved gradually into the warmth of her vagina was almost too much to bear and I stopped several times until I was at last there, my groin was touching hers and I was deep into her body.
I hung there above her for a long time just luxuriating in the feelings from my cock and the excitement of my first intercourse, and this with my big sister no less.
But then I moved inside her!
Cautiously withdrawing my penis, I was treated to the intensity of feeling that only a tight clinging vagina can give a young boys penis. I had to stop moving immediately as I was sure I would explode. As the feelings faded I pushed back into her depths and experienced the same intensity of feeling. I had to stop again and while waiting I basked indulgently in the feelings my penis was experiencing.
I was in heaven! I repeated another cautious thrust and burrowed deep inside her, I heard a slight sucking noise and realised my groin was wet. She was so slippy and warm and felt so incredibly good; so for the first time i repeated my movements without pausing.
The feeling was if anything more intense than before and I couldn’t stop. I moved slowly in and out of her softness. Of course the inevitable happened and with a wave of intensity like nothing I had ever experienced I came strongly inside her. Hanging over her, thrusting gently and squirting inside her until I was finished, I was sure I’d found heaven.
As the lust disappeared I felt a wave of shame wash over me and as ignorant as I was, I was sure I’d be found out and punished.
I hurriedly pulled my slippery penis out of her and climbed out of her bed. I pulled the covers over her and climbing back into my bed tried to sleep.
The thoughts poured through my head; I was convinced I had made my big sister pregnant; I had squirted my stuff inside her hadn’t I? That was incest wasn’t it? Would I go to prison? Would she give birth to a deformed monster? That night I cried myself to sleep and having no one to confide in lived in torment for many weeks until one day it dawned on me; my sister couldn’t be pregnant. I’d had a lucky escape! But one haunting thought troubled me; Did my big sister still love me?
The shame and the fear of losing my sister caused me to deny for myself what I had done that night in the flat. For thirty years I had successfully buried the episode in my subconscious, so successful was that denial that the reawakening of the memories caused by the sight of the two single beds side by side made me fearful for my sister’s intentions; did she still love me or was this the time for retribution?