I was 18 years old. Just completing my Sr. year in HS and the summer was right around the corner. Ever since 8th grade I babysat around the neighborhood to earn money. Early in the school year, I began sitting for a neighbor two doors down from my house. She was a young, single mom who moved into the area just about a year before.
I admired her, as when she bought her house, she was 7 months pregnant, alone and very sure of herself. She was also a successful businesswoman and THAT really caught my attention as I too wished to be successful in business.
After her baby was born, she never went out. She was incapable of leaving her baby alone with a stranger. I had met her shortly after she moved in and sparked a neighborly friendship with her. I was there when she came home from the hospital as she asked me to look over the house. I had mentioned to her several times that I was a babysitter, I had my CPR and First Aid licenses and I had many references. Still she was reluctant. I understood.
The holidays were quickly approaching and she finally asked me to sit for her. She had many business parties to attend and a few private ones. She just couldn’t do it with a newborn. She was still very nervous even though she and I got along wonderfully. I assured her that I was capable and if anything happened, not only did I know what to do but also my parents were also two doors away. That seemed to give her some comfort. That’s when I started to sit for her.
New Years was now here and she asked me to sit for her. I had no plans and said why not. I got to her place around 7pm, She went out and came back within a couple of hours. I asked what was wrong and she said “Nothing – I just decided to spend my baby’s first new years with her.” She had left a pretty big business party for family. That impressed me. I asked if she wanted a refund (she always paid in advance) and she said absolutely not. “That money is yours,” she said. WOW! And she always paid a premium too. More than most did. But that was her choice. Like I would give better care because of it. I always gave the best care no matter how much I got paid. She did invite me to stay and watch the Ball drop in NY. Why not? She and I always had fun together chatting. I was supposed to be there until 2 am anyway – so sure.
We had a wonderful evening. We talked, watched the ball drop, and talked more. Told silly jokes and listened to some music afterwards. We even had cracked open a bottle of champagne at midnight. Because of my age, she only allowed me a few sips worth in my glass. I didn’t like the taste much but the thought was well understood. I enjoyed spending time with her. She was only 8 years my senior so we had a lot in common especially with music and movies and guys.
It was now May. Just about a month left of school and I was working for her regularly. Most times it was so she could go out to business dinners or meet with clients. There were some times when she didn’t go out but had me over anyway so she could get some uninterrupted time to do things around the house. Whatever the reason – I always made time for her. My finals were upon me and she was always happy to help me study. I spent a lot of time with her. She said that after my finals are over, we’d have to have a special dinner to celebrate my promotion to the rank of High School Graduate. Sweet! I knew I liked her.
I passed all my finals and told her about them. School was down to the last couple of weeks. She asked if we could have the celebration at home so that she didn’t have to get another babysitter, “…as my regular sitter will be busy that night…” she said with a smile. She’d cook something special (and she’s a GREAT cook!) and we could do whatever that night. I was excited.
Friday night was here. My big dinner party was just hours away. She had said to dress up. “We may not be going out, but it’s certainly an event to dress up for.”
I wore my black one-piece dress that I bought for Sr. Pictures during the summer. She’d be the first to see it in public. It had multi tie straps over the shoulders, with one having a thin line of frilly lace sewn to it. The neckline was modest, but cut low enough to attract some attention. The bottom of the dress was cut at an angle with the high side starting just above my right knee and angling down about calf height on my left leg. The dress was more like a wrap as it wrapped about me and tied on the right side. I wore my favorite pair of black heels, the sort that is more straps than anything else. I left my hair flowing but used my curling iron to give some wave to it and I completed the ensemble with a red flower in my hair. It wasn’t real but looked great with the flowery/lace choker I wore. I was feeling very proud and very grown up.
I arrived at her house sharply at 7pm as directed. She greeted me at the door in an outfit that nearly put my efforts to shame. I had never seen this dress before and wondered if she just bought it. It was a one piece, very sleek sheath that hugged her figure quite complimentary. It had spaghetti straps and morphed from a deep maroon color on top to black nearing the bottom. She wore matching maroon heels and a black ribbon choker. Her dirty blonde hair was all silky smooth, like in the hair commercials, and pulled back into a bun. She was so color coordinated down to her maroon lipstick and coloring of her eye shadow. I think I must have been staring because neither she nor I moved for what seemed like an eternity. Only her smile grew and a gentle blush came to her cheeks. How embarrassing for me. Silence was broken when I heard her giggle and say “are we just going to stand here and gawk at each other all evening?”
A nervous laugh came from within me and I walked through the door into her house. The place was so beautiful. Looked like she had cleaned up the place to near perfection. The lights were on but softened, candles were placed and burning on the entry table, the ledge between the living room and dinning room, the table was set and decorated immaculately complete with antique white lace table linen, candles and a beautiful centerpiece. Flooring was polished, carpet vacuumed – there wasn’t a thing out of place. I felt like I was in a model home.
I heard the door close behind me and soft footsteps walk up next to me. Smiling, she asked what I thought of the place. It was all I could do to remind myself to close my mouth after each new vision made my jaw drop. I told her this was beautiful.
“It’s all for you Rose” she whispered. I knew I was blushing at that comment and I asked why go to all the trouble. It’s not like I was family. “Tonight is to celebrate so much more,” she spoke. Continuing on to say we were celebrating not only my achievement at school, but thanking me for all my help and friendship. For all the little things I have done for her since she moved in. For taking such excellent care of her baby and the list went on. I was flabbergasted (and that was before I knew what that word meant).
I noted the absence of the baby and asked where she was. She said that “grandma and grandpa” had her. Cool – a grown-up night for the girls were my thoughts. I had no idea.
Soft music was playing just audible throughout the house without being overpowering, and dinner was smelling delicious in the kitchen. We walked in to the living room and she excused herself to go check on dinner. I asked if I could help and she quickly said I was not to lift a finger all night. “You are my special guest and tonight is all for you Rose.”
Dinner was served shortly after my arrival and it was absolutely wonderful. We ate, talked, laughed and enjoyed the meal. After we ate we continued to talk and the conversation whipped all over the place, from school to work to boyfriends and even to sex. We had a very open relationship in that we talked about everything together. It was nearly 9:30 when we finally left the dining room and went to the living room. I had been there long enough that we had heard all 3 CDs completely and they were starting to play again when she went to change them. It grew quiet as she was exchanging CDs and I stood in front of the fireplace admiring the painting that hung above it.
When the new CDs began to play, the tempo was a little slower, moody, and more romantic. I didn’t really make much of it. I thought it was later in the evening and so the music was more reserved. She came from behind me and took her place beside me. We both admired the painting and she explained a little about its history. It was authentic, an original by an early American colonial painter. It was beautiful.
The next song came on and was one I liked. She turned to me and in our usual playful voice, she said, “I realize this is a bit unconventional, but we are celebrating tonight and since there are no men around would you like to dance?” I didn’t think much of it; I’ve danced with girls before and said sure. The tune was a bit more up beat than the others and we began to dance. I was enjoying my party completely. She was fun to be with, like a big sister or best friend, and I was having a blast.
The song ended segueing into a much slower, more intimate tune. Quite naturally, we fell into each other and slow danced. Neither one felt strange, I doubt either one of us was thinking about it much. It just felt wonderful. The song progressed and we dove deeper into an embrace that was more fitting of lovers than friends. Again – neither realized or at least I didn’t. It just felt good. We were lost in the moment, that was for certain and the length of the song was such that it seemed to go on forever. When it did finally end, and the next song began, I felt a brief attempt for us to part, but a very noticeable hesitation to break our embrace sent the obvious message to not let go. We continued through the next song much in the same way.
Now I WAS feeling different. I wasn’t sure who held on to whom more. I began to feel nervous but even stronger was my desire to not to let the moment end. Halfway through the second song we changed our position to one where each of our arms were laying on the other’s waist and we parted only enough for her to look at me. I remember my nerves tightening up so much. I had an idea what was going on now, but still no clue what to do. I was neither sure of what was right or what was expected of me. Talk about confusion. I could feel her gazing at me though my eyes were looking down. I can remember every detail too of what was to happen next.
“Rose?” she said in an angel’s whisper. “Please look at me.” I hesitantly raised my head and first fixed on her chin, then reluctantly looked up straight into her hazel eyes. The look upon her face was definitely that of an angel. I felt my breath leave my body and I stood there in her arms shaking most noticeably now.
“Rose, would you allow me to try something?” Her voice was so welcoming and sweet.
“What?” I managed to exhale out.
“Do you trust me?” She responded. I nodded nervously and looked down at her chin again. She then brought one hand up from my hip gently placing two fingers under my chin, coaxing me to raise my head once again. I did and my eyes fixed again on hers. With the softest of touch, she steadied my face, leaned forward and delicately placed her lips on mine. I felt my face begin to burn; my feet felt like they were on fire and my heart could probably be heard a mile away. I swear I heard pictures rattling on the wall from the tremors I was emitting.
She broke the kiss and looked at me smiling her famous smile. All I could do was stand there and shake.
“Are you all right Rose?” I loved hearing my name called by her. I tired to speak but all that came out was a burst of noise from a breath I must have been holding in my lungs during the entire kiss. Kind of resembled a grunt more than any English word I though I was saying. It echoed in the room and after we both displayed looks of surprise – we broke into out of control laughter. Definitely breaking the tension and making me feel a whole lot better.
So we laughed about the somewhat inhuman expression that escaped from my mouth and relaxed a bit. We broke our embrace, stood apart from each other and fidgeted around a bit. I started to apologies for the gross sound while laughing still. She assured me that there was nothing to apologies for and gave me a hug. And what a hug it was! She was so warm, and sweet. We remained entangled in our hug while we again looked into each other’s eyes. The laughter subsided with the typical clearing of throats; a polite cough or two and a few last minute sighs and squeaks.
She composed herself and asked again if I was aright. This time without trying to speak I nodded yes. Still feeling my body burn and still shaking like it was 20 degrees below zero. A moment went by as silent as the dawn. She asked if I wanted to sit down. My apparent inability to move suggested to her that I’d rather stay right here. She continued to hold my hands in front of me. More silence. I sometimes think she was as nervous as I and as much at a loss for words. She planned this for sure. She brought me here for this, but I don’t think she was prepared for how the moment would affect her as well. Either that or I was a fantastic kisser and she was taken by pleasant surprise.
She felt my body trembling and pulled me close again. We stood there in an embrace that I honestly never wanted to break. I could feel her heart beating against my chest. The music continued to play and as the soft ballad progressed, we began to sway once again to its slow, melodic rhythm.
I can’t honestly remember what I was thinking specifically at that moment, but I do recall that my mind was a buzz with thoughts and images and most importantly, the feeling that I felt good. THIS felt good. I was 18 – true. I was young – of course. I had sex only with one boy by that time (another story). She was 8 years older than me – so what. All I knew was she made me feel safe and for the lack of a better term, loved.
As our silent dance continued, she began to gently rub my back, starting in the middle where my dress covered me slowly working her way upward. I trembled the first time I felt her fingers dance across my skin. When she reached the top of my back, just at the base of my neck a change shot through me. I was all of a sudden no longer shaking with nerves. I instantly felt my heart warm and my body settle down. I felt comfortable in her arms. Completely at ease. Nothing in my life up to that moment ever felt more natural. I leaned into her shoulder and held her close resting my head on her shoulder. Squeezing to let her know I was fine.
With my head resting on her shoulder, and her hand massaging the base of my neck, I managed to conjure up the power of speech once again and before I could think of what I was saying, I whispered out so innocently… “Can I kiss you again?”
We stood up strait and looked into each other’s eyes once again, only this time I wasn’t looking at her chin. I now felt desire and wanted to kiss her. It’s so easy now to put into words what at the moment was a jumbled mess of emotions, thoughts and nerves. So it will sound strange when I say this, but I knew I wanted to do more with her. To go farther. She would be able to do anything she wanted tonight and I wouldn’t refuse. She leaned forward and kissed me once again. The same burning feeling came over me as before. This was definitely right. The kiss lingered this time. Long and passionate, followed by several short, wet sounding pecks. A brief moment was all that elapsed while we caught a breath, and then we rejoined and kissed even more.
Tonight was a night of firsts; first time I had been seduced, first time I kissed a girl, first time I French kissed too. Oh how wonderful that was. Her tongue slipped it’s way between my lips and met with mine within my mouth. She tested first, barely touching me. When I reciprocated that’s when all passion exploded and we were engulfed in a frenzy of tongue wrestling. Rolling around in my mouth for a moment then I took the lead and pushed hers back into the warmth of her mouth. Her taste was wonderful. I loved it.
We clung to each other and continued this dance for a time. My hands began to instinctively explore her back, still tentative on how far to go, but nonetheless feeling with great curiosity. We were no longer dancing to the music, which had changed to a slightly more up-beat tune. We were standing there, toe to toe, in heated embrace, kissing just like in the movies. That was the image I had for a split second at one point. “I must be in a movie,” an inner voice said to myself.
I couldn’t believe how wild things became then. Wild for an inexperienced girl like myself. As we were kissing and feeling each other, I felt one of her hands come up to my shoulder straps on one side and aided them in falling off my shoulder. Not knowing if I did it or if it was coincidence I realized that both the straps on her dress were dangling down her arms, her dress sitting a bit lower than it should. I then felt another hand come to the opposite shoulder and let those straps fall. I must have shuttered or done something because she then paused, broke our kisses and with a shortness of breath, but still so sweet sounding asked me if I felt we should stop. I froze, thinking I had done something wrong. I knew enough to understand what we were doing and that it was a bit taboo.
I didn’t know what to say. Instead what I did was reach down to my side and gingerly took hold of the ties that bound the dress to my body and began to pull the loops out. Seeing this, she reached over and placed her hand on mine, stopping me. “You want to do this right? Don’t think I’m forcing you to do anything you don’t want to.” she queried. With a smile on my lips, I lifted her hand off and continued to untie the straps. When they were untied, I just dropped them and my dress poofed out a little but did not open up. The top of my dress having been loosened and the straps off my shoulders slipped down and collected itself about my hips, leaving my bra the only garment on my torso.
She started in amazement. In awe, completely pleased with what was revealed to her eyes. With her eyes moving slowly up from my lace covered breasts to my brown eyes staring back at her, she undid two little ties below her arms and let her dress fall to the floor. What was standing in front of me was a beautiful woman, clad only in a pair of maroon panties, heels and choker. She wore no bra and her fair skin shined against the deep rouge of what clothing she did have on. My trembling came back. This time it was generated from desire. I so wanted to touch her. But I couldn’t move.
She came close to me. I could smell her perfume. I could feel her heat and for the first time I was aware of my own arousal below. Not a word was said for a long time. I suppose after gaining my approval by going this far she lost all apprehension because from that moment on she made no hesitations in what she did. Things were done slowly, deliberate and she made sure I was still ok with what was happening by gaining approval though my eyes. But not a word was said for a long time.
She kissed my cheek, and kissed my neck. While doing this I felt her help my dress open and shivered as it fell to my feet. Now I was standing there in my bra and panties and heels. To my left I caught a glimpse of our image in a large mirror hanging on the wall. I must have been staring because she noticed and repositioned us. We stepped out of your fallen dresses and left them behind on the floor as we walked over to the mirror. She stood me in front, facing the mirror while she staid behind me. “Would you like to watch for a while?” she asked and I nodded slowly.
I watched as she returned to kissing me. Seeing her behind me kissing me was so erotic. I stood like a statue while she worked he way around my body. Kissing me, caressing me everywhere. Her hands disappeared around my back as I felt her unfasten the hooks on my bra. I took a breath just as I felt the fabric fall away from my breasts. She let her fingers glide across the skin of my back and I watched as she inspected me from behind. She then looked at me through the mirror and wrapped her arms around me. Feeling my belly and the curves of my hips. Her hands roamed and ever so lightly found my breasts and caressed them. First feeing around them then cupping them in her palms. She watched my expressions in the mirror as she did this. I closed my eyes and leaned back into her. I was afraid I’d fall, but she supported me.
She stood me up, and began to rotate around me to until she was in front of me, never removing her hands from my body and always supporting me. Soon she was standing in front of me and I opened my eyes. Her hands moved from my hips, to my arms and shoulders. Then slid them down until she too my hands in hers. She then lifted them and brought them to her body and placed them about her waist. After gently pressing my hands against her body as a signal to hold on, she removed hers and let them dangle at her side. I was now in charge of what my hands were to do. I timidly felt around her waist, mimicking what she had done to me. As confidence grew and her approval became apparent, my touching became more deliberate.
Her skin was so soft and her figure more than recovered from her pregnancy. If I hadn’t known her, I never would have guessed by her body that she was a mother. She was warm and smooth. I could feel her muscles twinge as I moved about her. I pulled her closer to me and brought us into an embrace. We both let out a little coo when our breasts touched and pressed together. I held her in a hug for a moment. I felt her press the rest of her body closer into mine and I did the same. We kissed and I began to feel around her bare back once again. The movement of our bodies caused quite a sensation where skin was on skin. I had never felt this before. Not this completely. Not even when I had sex with my boyfriend. We were usually mostly clothed. What caught my attention the most was the fact that I could actually feel her heart beating. Through our embrace, our bodies were communicating purely and directly.
She broke our kiss and smiled as she turned around and faced the mirror. Leaning back into me she brought my hands up and placed them on her breasts. I was getting sensory overload as I felt her not only with my hands but the sensations I was getting from having my own breasts pressing against her back was beginning to make me shake all over again. We watched the mirror as my young hands caressed her womanly breasts. They were full but not overly so. Her nipples and areolas were the only signs of her motherhood. Darkened but returning to the pinkness they once were. Her nipples were standing erect and large. I was overwhelmed.
As we were watching the mirror, following my hands as they moved instinctively, we both noticed the look on my face quickly turning from pleasure and amazement to that more resembling fear nearing panic. Sensory overload for sure. That’s when she placed her hands on mine once again, in a firm but kind manner stopping my actions. She turned to me and then positioned us away from the mirror, and held me close. I felt my emotions begin to take over and I started to weep.
“Shhhhhh. It’s ok honey” she whispered into my ear. Her hand patting my head while the other was wrapped around me holding me securely against her. Turning more to a comfort embrace rather than impassioned, she brought to a close this intense moment of my life. I was relieved but frustrated. She held me for a long time then we sat on the couch.
“Let’s stop for a while ok sweetie?” she commented. “Looks like we can use a rest. Let things calm down.” Again her angelic smile performed its magic and calmed my soul. She reached over and got the TV remote, turned on the TV and VCR and started a movie. It was one of my favorites – “Far and Away” and as the movie began, she pulled a blanket over us and we lay back on the couch and watched the movie. Still only wearing our panties, I felt comfortable lying there with her like this. We removed our heels and got comfortable. She lay back in the corner of the puffy pillows and I reclined onto her. Her legs surrounding me with her breasts acting as perfect pillows. She wrapped her arms around me and held me softly as the movie played on.
For the rest of the evening we were silent, making only occasional comments like “I have to pee” or something about the movie. We did kiss now and then, but they were not as intense as earlier kisses. These were sweet gentle kisses that we’d snag between scenes or when one or the other repositioned on the couch. Even though I knew that I was laying there practically nude with another adult, in an adult situation, the comfort I felt with her at that very moment made me feel like a little girl. I cherish that moment, that feeling and I relive it whenever I need to feel secure or when I want to remember what my first true love felt like.