Loading...You’ve heard the term “breathtakingly beautiful,” right? You know — the casual passing of someone who causes you to take a short, sharp breath at her beauty. Too often, it’s a one shot, never seen again… geez, fantasy doesn’t seem like the right word. Let me think about it. Anyway, this is a true tale about my chance encounter with one of those beauties.
My name is Jane. I’m tallish I guess — 5 ft 9. Yeah, yeah — I played sports — until my knees gave out — or up. I go back and forth with that one all the time. Whatever! At 42, it’s challenging to keep my figure the way my mind thinks it should be — way back when. I do okay, financially, but I’m not about to hire someone to beat me to a pulp — no, NOT literally — to maintain… oh never mind. I have people tell me I’m very good looking; some say it’s my eyes — very big and very blue — pick a description. Some say it’s… I dunno, to me, I’m just me. I’ve learned to just say “Thank You.”
I work in advertising; it’s good, it’s challenging, and it’s generally invigorating. To those closest to me — I’m out. Yup — gay. Don’t carry a flag or a torch; again, just me. Sadly, no one in my life right now; I smile at times at the joke: Sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield. It had gotten so we bugged each other. It was a shame — Diana was somebody I really cared about a lot. I’m reading a book right now — a really good writer — so I’ll borrow his words. “There’s no dislike or trouble between us. It’s just that the marriage is over.” Substitute “marriage” and “relationship” and put a bunch more words in there … but not here. It’s just over. Sorry, don’t mean to drone on.
I’m on the train on a snowy Friday a few months ago, reading said book, and I look up — there she was. Winter sucks — for a lot of reasons — but one is layers and layers covering up those beautiful, slender, scrumptious — yeah, I better stop there. She was one of them — breathtaking I mean. And I could see – from the first glance – that she wasn’t one who thought of herself that way. You know what I mean — they look around, pretending to look at this or that, when they’re really looking to see who’s looking at them. Female, male — doesn’t matter.
She has blonde hair with different shades of color in it – not from a bottle, from God. Couldn’t be more than… 25? Not too long, not too short. Huge blue eyes; liner and just a hint of eye shadow — oh my, she is lovely. Tall too — I stood next to her as the train pulled into my station; maybe an inch shorter than me. I stood and studied her in the car as the train rolled along — slender, delicate, small hands. No polish. The ever-present phone… texting madly. What time will you come home to me, lover? I sighed. I stood within a foot of my beauty and, I swear, it took every last bit of discipline not to lean in and kiss her. I stepped off the train, walked downstairs and headed home.
She was with me at the dinner table; we talked softly, she smiled sweetly, and blushed demurely when I took her hand and kissed it. We had a wonderful, sweet, devastating lovemaking session and she fell asleep with my arms around her. My nose breathed in her delicate perfume as she lay with her head on my shoulder. I hugged the pillow and said good night, the vibe somewhere in the sheets.
That’s how it goes when you see someone for an instant, or a minute, or the like in a city of millions. She was a vision of loveliness and I knew I’d never see her again. No biggie. The ocean is full of fish… like the commercial says, “Keep your heart open and love will find you.” Waiting!! Wait! ing!
So I work, I exercise, I have dinners with friends, I go to movies, I watch TV, and do this “life” thing. That author I mentioned above — I’m on another of his books. It was another Friday, another train ride, and just as snowy and cold. I had my nose in the book, laughing at some dialogue, thinking about plot at other times… drifting. I lifted my eyes during one of those drifts… OH MY GOD!! No, it’s not possible. No, no, no… this kind of thing doesn’t happen. Some dude somewhere has won his state lottery like three times — those kinds of impossible odds. There she was!!
My mouth went dry, my… umm, other parts — not so much. I don’t know who ordered those flood gates open, but they were. Okay Jane — you will NOT let this opportunity pass. I waited; my stop came and went. I waited; a seat opened next to her on the aisle. My heart thudded; I stood and walked, all casual-like, with my legs like jelly and my breath in short pants. I sat down. She turned, looked, smiled, and looked away. I made up my mind that moment.
She excused herself as she stood; I lied like a rug: “Oh! This is your stop too!” Smooth.
She smiled, nodded, and walked to the door. Me, like a puppy on an invisible leash – totally embarrassing. I smiled like the village idiot. I finally did it: “Umm, hey, I know we don’t do this sort of thing in a city like this, but if you have a few minutes, how about a cup of coffee?” She sort of skidded to a stop. Her head whipped around and she looked at me — as if for the first time. Helpless, I blushed. “My name’s Jane. I promise I won’t bite.” I tried my best girlie smile. God love her, she laughed.
“Jane huh? Well I’m Mary, Jane.” We both laughed. “Yeah sure; what the hell, it’s Friday and my date is several hours later. Come on. There’s a coffee shop on the corner.” Date? Fuck! I followed. She ordered some sort of double latte yada yada. I ordered coffee — the “barista” dude and Mary both stared. I sorta tried a shrug and smile. Lame, your name is Jane.
After we found seats, I started, “So, Mary, it’s probably best I start with the truth. This isn’t my stop; it was several stops ago. I saw you a couple months ago, thought you were absolutely breathtaking and simply couldn’t not say hello this time — and…” I turned my palms up and shrugged. She could have absolutely killed me with her words… or whatever. She was quiet for an hour that minute — and her face slowly began to curl into the most dazzling, spell binding smile I’d seen in many a year.
“How cute! Honest? You really followed me? Oh my god!” She lowered her head, smiling. Then the smile faded; her eyes clouded — she looked up and said, softly, “You’re gay?” Thud!
“Yes, Mary — very.” Just say it. Let the chips fall where they may. She was still in the chair five seconds later; it’s a start. “I gotta say this, whatever the risk. I don’t do this. It’s not me. And it was very forward of me to do what I did and if you want, you can get up and leave right now and I promise I…”
She smiled at my bumbling, rambling blather. “So let’s have dinner some time, Jane.” That I didn’t faint, I think, is some sort of miracle — or a sign.
“Umm, yeah… of course.” I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and I couldn’t stop the flood between my legs. We exchanged email addresses — easy. “Mary?”
“Yes?”
“I’m not going to even ask, okay. But this is just dinner. You have a date tonight. Hope… he takes you somewhere nice.” She smiled.
“Don’t worry kiddo. He’ll take me wherever I want.” She winked; we both giggled. I nodded. “And I’ll take him – if he’s lucky!” Two adult women giggling like teenagers. You go girl!
“It’s okay Jane. This is very cool. I’ve never had a woman hit on me like this. I’m flattered. You’re pretty cute yourself ya know.” Let me slide under the table in embarrassment — please!
“Thanks, that’s very sweet of you. In return, I promise not to ask you to marry me until the second date.” Gutsy!! She did stare for a few more seconds — but the twinkle in my eye told her… she, we — laughed again. Gawd — I could learn to love — umm, like — that laugh. What would it sound like late at night, after we… stop!!
So that was it; we agreed to a day — the following Tuesday. I wouldn’t miss it unless I was bleeding or on fire. Time and place TBD. Yes, I wanted to kiss her; I’m sure she knew it — or, at least, could sense it. She did give me a short little hug. Thank you God — we said our goodbyes; I looped my scarf around a post to tether me to the train. Sigh. To other commuters and those I passed walking home I’m sure I looked either deranged or drunk. Sorta, yeah.
Was she? No, I didn’t think so. But I was so smitten I let that part pass. It would be a dinner date — that’s all.
Afterward, I would take her home and w… STFU dope! I smiled and turned the vibe on. My last thought before we drifted off to sleep was: please hurry, Tuesday!!!
Monday, email. Did I have any preference for dinner? Umm — you mean other than 5 ft 8 in, blonde, and… nope. We go dutch right? Whatever sugar — just as long as I can look into those eyes again. Was 7 pm okay? Hell yeah!
Tuesday — confirming the time, and a name and address and a link to a menu. Way cool! See you then! I left work at 4 pm… fussed about hair, makeup, and cursed my full closet — nothing to wear. Oh shut up! We all do it.
I took a cab — got there at 6:40 pm. I had a quick glass of chardonnay in a desperate and foolhardy attempt to soothe my nerves. Since I woke up that morning I had debated — and did stop and buy a single white rose. It was something that someone would do as a gesture of… okay, I admit, I was simply smitten and hopeful.
Yes, Jane, the goose chase is likely futile. And I will ask if I may kiss her! That was also resolved – the asking, not the kiss itself.
I saw her move across the giant picture window on the street. I stood as she pushed the door — our reservation was made — in her name. I held the rose in my hand, at my hip, and hugged her in greeting. That smile — yup, it was in full bloom as well. The host led us to the table. The gods were smiling; it was in a corner — the restaurant was only modestly filled early on a weeknight. I handed her the rose. She looked at me; I shrugged and smiled. She blushed. Okay — maybe I’ll ask her tonight. We shrugged off our coats and sat.
I think the flower caught her off guard — had that been too much? I tried to take a measure of her. She studied the menu as if it was “War and Peace.” Okay, so ask. I reached my hand to hers — covered it very lightly. She jerked her head up. Deep breath. “Was the flower too much, Mary? I’m… if it was – my bad.”
Her eyes clouded a bit; she shook her head. “It was very sweet, Jane; thank you. I didn’t get a flower the other night.” Idiots!! No, I know — not all of them. Whatever. Mine wasn’t given to get.
Light conversation — her restaurant choice… did she have a recommendation? That kind of thing. Do you drink? Yes. Wine? Some? May I? Yes. She ordered entrees; I ordered wine. We both smiled — this is good. So how was your weekend? Good — you? I kinda kicked it this weekend. Lucky you. Work — fine, you? Shrug. Easy, light, and simple. Her eyes never left mine. Very interesting — and spectacularly beautiful.
Wine served, poured and sipped. “Oh my, this is very good, Jane!! Wow!” That bought me few minutes of preening.
“You’re nearly as tall as I am. Did … do you play sports?”
“Yeah, I played softball, volleyball and basketball in high school — lots of letters. I picked college based on who would give me the best scholarship and balanced that against the major I thought I might want.” And smart!
“Oh? And that was?”
“International relations, with a minor in Japanese — sorry, it somehow sounds more impressive than it was.” Gawd. “I still play some rec league basketball once or twice a week.” Shrug. “You?”
“I, umm, played until my knees demanded that I stop. I miss it actually, Mary.” She nodded. “You play in the post?”
“Yeah — but I admit — more of a face up five than a traditional one.”
“I learned a few tricks here and there playing against boys — high school — so I screened, passed, and took whatever gifts garbage gave me.” Good — common ground. “Did you ever go to state?” She beamed.
“We made it to the semis my senior year. We all cried when we lost. I was N.A.I.A. — not great skills but they give athletic scholarships.” I know. Now about that marriage thing!
“Color me jealous, honey.” Trial balloon floated. She smiled easily.
“So, about that boy thing… have you ever…?” She said it so shyly.
“Naah… truth be told, I sorta kinda knew early on that I preferred girls.” Easy shrug; she nodded.
“Umm, if it’s not too personal, may I ask?” She didn’t go further than that with the question. It was totally cool.
“Of course you can. I’ll keep it simple — it’s like loving your mirror image.” Her eyes got wide — shock or surprise? “I don’t know what it is like to be with a man. Some of us at work — women – talk — the general consensus seems to be — they try hard to please, but there is a goal to attain, and it seems, more often than not, to be more about theirs than ours.” I did my best to keep my tone and voice neutral. I was shocked — her eyes filled. Oh god… no. Not tonight; I just will not!
Dinner was served. Lord — she was right!! Fabulous! The food too! Oh hush!
“This is absolutely amazing, Mary. Is this a favorite haunt of yours?” She giggled — how cute.
“Every first dinner date is here — holds down my food budget.” We laughed and laughed… we high fived. Okay, I had to admit — it was hilarious — and smart. I had one of those random thoughts float through: Ron White — Blue Collar dudes, “Why don’t they just say it — Diamonds: that’ll shut her up.” Fine! We all know who rules the world. My BFF says, “We all are birthed from the same place and men spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in.” She’s very married, three kids, has held her fab figure… maybe, some day. He travels a lot.
Mary is so freakin’ beautiful, so much more interesting, and way smarter than I could ever have guessed. What – from across a train car? Geez!! Could I? Oh yeah. We’ll see.
She pushed the food across one side of the plate and back… she’s thinking… debating. Be quiet. “So have you ever been in love?” Interesting question — and deserves an honest answer.
“Oh lord yes! I’m over it now, I guess, but when she broke it off with me I was devastated. I really, honest to god, thought she was my ‘one.’ It’s not ‘different’ for us; really it isn’t.” She had tears — real ones. I reached and touched her hand… softly caressed it; a quick squeeze.
Her voice was thick. “In college, there was this girl.” OH? “We were roomies and on the softball team. She hid it from me for a while — but one night, after a big road win and a long bus ride, we staggered back to the dorm. I was in the shower; she came in with me. I froze. She said, ‘It’s just me Mary; it’s okay.’ I didn’t know what to do. She kissed me. It was like an electric surge. She slid her arms around me and pulled me to her.” Her eyes found mine. The voice was whisper soft. “We didn’t — umm — go to sleep for a long time after the shower.” She lowered her eyes. I felt so bad for her. It took a lot of guts to tell me. I honest to god don’t know why she did. Those stories are legend — you have a girl friend who has told you hers. Her voice cracked. “I changed rooms the next week. And I have never forgotten her — or that night.” I was quiet — I nodded.
“Thank you.” She looked puzzled. “No really; thank you – for sharing. I hope it was good and beautiful — whatever. So just thank you.” We finished dinner in relative quiet. I wasn’t going to push things — no goddamn way. This had gone from a flight of fancy to… what? No — no expectations. Let her sort it out.
Two duplicate entrees, one bottle of wine, easy to split. “It’s a school night.” She looked, we giggled. “Can a girl buy you a drink before we say goodnight.” She smiled — was it shyly?
“How about if I buy you one — at my place.” I was dumbstruck.
“Mary honey, I promised.” She shushed me — honest to god, she did.
“I know Jane… it’s a whim, so just say yes.” A pause. “Please?” Plaintive.
I’m human — I nodded and smiled. We put on our coats and left. Halfway down the block she turned. “May I kiss you, Jane?” Yeah, if you’ll… I smiled and nodded.
How long had she dreamed of doing this again? Why me? How thin the thread that brings two hearts together!! It’s always been a mystery for my romantic heart. The kiss was so very sweet!! I melted. I waited a bit before I parted my lips… and it took her a bit before she accepted the invitation. When she did she moved just a wee bit closer to me. You wouldn’t know it if you weren’t the one who was being held and kissed — that’s how subtle it was. And I loved it!! The lovely face I gazed at was flushed when we broke the kiss — yeah, we. I had already made the decision to let her lead.
“I know I’ve done this before Jane — but it was a long time ago. Will you be gentle with me?”
“My sweet, sweet beautiful darling — how could I possibly be anything but?” I kissed her nose.
We walked, hand in hand. Her apartment was smallish but nicely appointed. After our coats and purses were thrown on the chair and our shoes and boots were discarded… she hesitated. Okay! Wait! She moved when she was ready. She took my hand and led me to her bed. I swear — she did! The kiss was different now — urgent, needy, warm and hot. Oh my! I let my hands roam. All of what I dreamed of was real and under my fingers. Slender, firm, soft, and lush — I took my time. All those questions about what might be hiding under all those winter clothes — answered!! Mary had brought me to her home and her bed — but I took the lead. I just knew she wanted me to. But, just one more time, I had to ask.
“Mary honey, I have to ask. You sure?” Her eyes teared and she lowered her head. Her voice was a whisper.
“You don’t want me?” FUCK! I took her chin, lifted it, kissed her lightly, softly and smiled.
“You beautiful, sweet girl — from the very first moment I saw you I have wanted you. I thought it was one of those random urban things. I was shocked when I saw you the other day — and determined not to let that moment pass. My question isn’t about me — or whether I… desire you. No, baby — it’s… umm, I just… I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and hate me — or, worse — yourself. Do you remember seeing me that first time? You smiled at me as you were texting.” She smiled — but shook her head — no surprise. The kiss was hot and demanding. Yum!
I undressed her… slowly. I kissed as much of her as I could — often and softly, leaving wet traces behind with my tongue and lips. She shivered deliciously. I left the bra and panties to be the last. I surprised her by slipping to my knees. I kissed her now soaked silk… she pulled my head to her. I lapped through it, then slid it down and past her hips and fabulously firm, slender legs. I dragged my tongue, curled, from the bottom of her bare sex to the top. She tasted just as… she is every bit a woman. I sucked her pearl into my mouth; I thought she might fall. It was only a tease — I’m a wicked bitch. I stood and smiled. She had taken her bra off. God help me… my angel was every bit of that. I took her hand… she lay back on the bed.
“Watch me lover.” She drank me in as I slowly took my dress, bra, and panties off. I smiled at the lust in her eyes. Why on earth had this fabulous woman not… whatever. She chose me — whatever the reason. Clad only in my thigh highs I joined her on her bed. She threw her arms up and out in welcome. I accepted. The kisses were — oh god, I just had a deep sigh as I remember that night — they were soft, they were hard, they were sweet, they were hot and demanding, they were everything, I think, either of us would have wanted for and during our first time together.
I took my time exploring her… every last delicious, curvy, sexy, feminine bit of her. The nights of my fantasy paled to my reality. I fell in lust that night — umm! Later! We’ll see. It may sound odd, but as eager as she was, so was she also reserved and unsure — for a short time. When she finally let loose — O M G!! “Tiger by the tail” — but my blonde beauty had no tail. That night, at least, I couldn’t tell if it was me or her. I only knew I had one damn hard time with her writhing, bucking, grasping, gasping, breathless, gorgeous, sexy… too much? Not from the view I had. My fingers had plumbed her depths for some time now. She was wild. My thumb played, tortured and teased her pearl – crazy wild. My mouth on her breasts… both of them… her fingers in my hair made it impossible to ignore the gorgeous twins. I did not!
It was subtle — the change — as she started toward the explosion. A blink of her body going stiff, a shudder, and then the bucking and the rest just came more quickly and violently. I knew I was only along for the ride… and I loved it. She cried out in joy as the heat of it took her over… wild — that was the word. Her back arched; she hurt me with her nails — gloriously! She threw her hips at my fingers, begging me to give her more, more, and still more. I did the best I could to take every lovely bit of it from her… and more. I felt her crest — and drove her quickly to, into, and through another.
As she panted after it left her, I slipped between her legs to give her more. My fingers and mouth tore her up… she cried for me to stop and screamed her joy when I didn’t. Take it all baby girl — every last bit. When she shuddered, bucked and shrieked one last time, the blinding pleasure slipped, finally, away. She moaned as I slipped my fingers from her. I slid, slowly, up her now limp form, kissing, licking, loving — gently. I lay my head in the valley — her heart still pounded away. I smiled. She hugged me when she could. After a time she brought me to her mouth; the kiss was fabulous; she did not shy away from the taste of herself on my lips and tongue. Glorious!
I let her come all the way back… and heard her breathing slow. Lord — she was falling asleep. Should I? No way. Dare I stay? Umm — fuck if I know. She was warm, soft, and curvy in all the right places and I didn’t want to leave.
The sun was bright in the window when we woke. She gave a start as she felt me next to her. Moment of truth! I lifted my head, smiled at her wide blue eyes, and kissed her lightly. Her mouth stayed closed. Umm — okay.
She got up, padded to the bathroom. Do I dress and leave? Do I stay — in her bed — and wait? She came out, head down, eyes averted. Came to my side of her bed and leaned over and kissed me — softly. Whisper soft, she said, “Thank you.” My eyes filled. I lifted my arms to her. She slid in — I slid over. She didn’t, couldn’t, and wouldn’t make eye contact — she buried her face in my neck and hair. “Thank you Jane — as much for being here this morning as for what you gave me last night.” It took everything I had in me not to cry at the sweetness of it.
“Sweetheart, there is and was no way I could leave you. Our lovemaking was so fabulous; you were so amazing – and you fell asleep so sweetly,” she blushed, “that I just… I wouldn’t leave you. I won’t… no, I mean, I… damn, last night was last night. I want to see you again. But I need you to know — it’s for more than just… that!” I blushed, praying she would understand my idiotic mumbling.
I can’t explain it… the smile grew with every fumbling, stumbling stupid word. She absolutely beamed at my frustration — GOD!! She nodded with every word… and kissed me quiet. “You… you loved me just for me. You wouldn’t stop until I had had my fill. It was my last thought last night and my first thought this morning. I was… I was embarrassed to look at you this morning — you had given and I hadn’t.” Her eyes lowered, she shook her head.
No! I wouldn’t let you do this to yourself. I reached and took her face in my hands — and held it. I stared into the fabulous blues. “No baby — don’t. I gave you just what you wa… I hope I gave you everything you’d, perhaps, dreamt of and wondered about since college. Today, tomorrow — how about we just let it play out.” Small smile.
“Yeah, you’re right about that. Questions asked and answered — and answered.” We both giggled.
“Let me get dressed and head home. You have… whatever it is you do… then it’s time to head to work.”
“So… let me see if I understand… you don’t want to shower with me?” Oh lord.
We both called in for personal days!! Nuff said.
It’s been six months now. No — we aren’t living together — too soon yet for that. Will we? Mmm. Wink. We see each other exclusively — that led to an ugly scene with… him. I was there. He called you the usual disgusting names. Asshole! But he — no surprise — couldn’t stand up to the stare I put on him. Not a word — just arms crossed, feet set, etc. He slunk out the door. You cried — I held you as you did. Umm — another personal day burned.
Have we said the “L” word — oh yeah! And it wasn’t in bed!! It was at “our” restaurant — on our six month anniversary — ten days ago. Dessert was much better than dinner. She made sure of it! Yum!
I’ll let ya know how things are in another six months or so… but I think I may have, as amazing as it is, found my “one.” Keep your heart open — love found us!!
Author’s Note: The story is fiction; the title is nothing more than a play on words. It was a suggestion and it made me laugh. The idea came from a chance sighting of a beauty on a train. I was standing next to her and have described her as best as winter conditions and clothing allow.